A question for all the men

[DevaKai]

I'm sure this topic has been kicked around a bit but as I was sitting here this afternoon I starting thinking about some of the men that I know and how they seem rather uninterested in being intimate with a woman.

They seem to be more interested in work than spending time with the opposite sex.

I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation.

So any ideas guys?

Thanks:):

D~

[Love_N_Peace]

I'm sure this topic has been kicked around a bit but as I was sitting here this afternoon I starting thinking about some of the men that I know and how they seem rather uninterested in being intimate with a woman.

They seem to be more interested in work than spending time with the opposite sex.

I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation.

So any ideas guys?

Thanks:):

D~







I personally would perfer to spend time with a lady over work.

To me, friendship and relationship IS more important and a priority.

Peace,

Joseph

[notsomuch]

If now was used as a noun or a verb rather than an adverb, maybe it would be sexy in an Eckhart Tolle sort of way.. But of course, that would perhaps involve quiet sitting and not so much activity. Still not much in the way of work in any sense of the word, after all if not much activity is involved then there's not really any kind of "sexy time" if you will.

[MsTerry]

:hmmm:


If now was used as a noun or a verb rather than an adverb, maybe it would be sexy in an Eckhart Tolle sort of way.. But of course, that would perhaps involve quiet sitting and not so much activity. Still not much in the way of work in any sense of the word, after all if not much activity is involved then there's not really any kind of "sexy time" if you will.

:hmmm:

Are you asking if sex could be considered work?

[notsomuch]

Sorry, I guess that's my version of a spiritual geek joke..

But I meant work in terms of just activity rather than like your job, as in power being the amount of work divided by time.. Hmm, I guess if that is the case then a powerful one can get um, a lot of "work" done in relatively short amount of time. A really strong quickie, if you will.


:hmmm:



:hmmm:

Are you asking if sex could be considered work?

edited to add: I guess that would give the Power of Now a whole new meaning.. The ultimate quickie, it doesn't even involve time! As time approaches zero the power approaches infinity..

[DevaKai]

I really am enjoying this conversation.:thumbsup:


Sorry, I guess that's my version of a spiritual geek joke..

But I meant work in terms of just activity rather than like your job, as in power being the amount of work divided by time.. Hmm, I guess if that is the case then a powerful one can get um, a lot of "work" done in relatively short amount of time. A really strong quickie, if you will.



edited to add: I guess that would give the Power of Now a whole new meaning.. The ultimate quickie, it doesn't even involve time! As time approaches zero the power approaches infinity..

[notsomuch]

I hereby coin this timeless quickie as a Nowie. (not to be confused with an owie) My guess is people still want to go for duration though, 'me now you long time..' Sorry guys, I was so close to coming up with a logical and spiritual explanation to spending less time on relationship without doing more work on it..

[DevaKai]

In response to meeting for tea...actually no one responded, some did read the post but no one took me up on the offer for Sunday tea. So I decided to stay in and read a book.:):


I hereby coin this timeless quickie as a Nowie. (not to be confused with an owie) My guess is people still want to go for duration though, 'me now you long time..' Sorry guys, I was so close to coming up with a logical and spiritual explanation to spending less time on relationship without doing more work on it..

[notsomuch]

I think in the future you may get a better response if you said 'who wants to meet for tea NOW?" :wink:


In response to meeting for tea...actually no one responded, some did read the post but no one took me up on the offer for Sunday tea. So I decided to stay in and read a book.:):

[Zeno Swijtink]

I think in the future you may get a better response if you said 'who wants to meet for tea NOW?" :wink:

I don't think this list has a good track record in bringing people together for tea. Better hang out at Coffee Catz, infusions teahouse or WholeFoods if you want to join someone for tea.

Using the list, the best you can do is contacting someone privately and reveal a bit more about who you are, and who/what you are looking for.

[notsomuch]

Yeah, actually from my experience the one thing the online thing has going for it in terms of relationships is the potential self disclosure, if that doesn't happen it's kind of like low bandwidth communication, you might as well go with in-person since a lot more is seen, just not necessarily as deep as the disclosure.

Of course, if you really want to geek out you can bring your mobile device and that way you can potentially have a You've Got Mail (male?) moment at one of these establishments.. :wink:


I don't think this list has a good track record in bringing people together for tea. Better hang out at Coffee Catz, infusions teahouse or WholeFoods if you want to join someone for tea.

Using the list, the best you can do is contacting someone privately and reveal a bit more about who you are, and who/what you are looking for.

[shellebelle]

Hmmmmmm

I find this interesting.

Personally I have (past, present and future) no problem finding a man to spend the hour, the evening, the day, the weekend, the month or my life with. In fact my plate is full enough I have had to refuse a few really nice offers.

:heart: I look for self assured, self positive people who are passionate about themselves, life and their work. :heart:

:heart: I love geeks who delve into work; I find it highly sexy and I know how to distract them just fine. :heart:

:heart: I believe I attract what I place into the community. :heart:

:heart: I am secure alone and not needy or desperate. :heart:

:heart: I bring passionate energy to everything I touch starting with self. :heart:

:heart: I am well rounded and can have an intelligent conversation about just about any subject. :heart:

:heart: When the subject leaves my knowledge base I see it as a chance to learn and ask questions to gain in sight. :heart:

:heart: :heart: Most of all I LOVE ME! PASSIONATELY! Entirely! And why wouldn't everyone else? :heart: :heart: And I know it shows!

There are so many of these wonderful amazing people available locally (from Mendocino to Monterrey) that I wonder if why you can't find them is because you aren't vibrating as one of them.

I see you posting many times looking for people to spend time with. Few if any seem to answer. I have a feeling there is a very real reason for it.

I think I would challenge you to look into self and see why people do not want to spend time with you.

I do some consulting on this so if you need a hand and are interested in coaching give me call.

[NudeTea]

I don't know what to tell you. I've got one wife here, one in Taos, one over the hill ... and I'm really kind of busy looking for work.

[shellebelle]

:heart: Yep and we keep you busy!! :heart:



I don't know what to tell you. I've got one wife here, one in Taos, one over the hill ... and I'm really kind of busy looking for work.

[Zeno Swijtink]

In 2003/2004 we had a very active WaccoSingles group in West County - a branch of the Wacco-on-Yahoo! family - that had a small steering committee which organized monthly parties and various side activities such as hikes and dinner groups.

This was a very creative and fun time.

The group died because of its own success. Many of the most active and attractive members found partners to have tea with and slowly disappeared in their own tea dens.

The many f2f meetings the group had were central to its being such a winner. Online stuff was just for getting things organized plus the occasional hi-literate flirting.

[MsTerry]

It sounds like you can use a wife to do the work for you.


I don't know what to tell you. I've got one wife here, one in Taos, one over the hill ... and I'm really kind of busy looking for work.

[MsTerry]

The many f2f meetings
Does f2f means what I think it means?

[notsomuch]

Heh I was thinking along the same lines, thought of saying something like "Hey that doesn't help the guys!" I imagine it means face to face though..


Does f2f means what I think it means?

[wellnesshelp]

I'm sure this topic has been kicked around a bit but as I was sitting here this afternoon I starting thinking about some of the men that I know and how they seem rather uninterested in being intimate with a woman.

They seem to be more interested in work than spending time with the opposite sex.

I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation.

So any ideas guys?

Thanks:):

D~





Isn't it about chemistry? In general, as you mentioned, if you beautiful woman shows up... here I m available... maybe it'll be no hesitation or maybe it would show no interest. It depends on the person, every mind is a different world.

More than physical appearance I believe more on values, interests, and that untangible "chemistry" that makes you feel those ants all over your body.
Finding a match is not easy, even if you do homework choosing men that match you according to the western and eastern astrology... anything goes!

Cultivate tons of friends, maybe there will be someone in that group that would click. Don't loose hope!!!

:)

Good luck!
:heart:

https://adultitems.homestead.com/intimacy_sebastopol.jpg

[Homomasculine man]

r all the men <!-- Wacco - display repostinfo --> <!-- /Wacco - display repostinfo --> <!-- Wacco - Add Threadfields Pluggin --> <!-- /Wacco - Add Threadfields Pluggin --> <hr style="color: rgb(166, 168, 82);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> As a gay man, who understands the charms of a straight woman on his arm, I'd be glad to squire you around and maybe, in fact, be more seduced by you if in your sexual "spells" you could also spell and know the difference between "lose" and "loose." Call me old-school, but please know the basics, otherwise I am too 21st-century to be around illiteracy.



I personally would perfer to spend time with a lady over work.

To me, friendship and relationship IS more important and a priority.

Peace,

Joseph

[MsTerry]

Heh I was thinking along the same lines, thought of saying something like "Hey that doesn't help the guys!" I imagine it means face to face though..
Oh, LOL, Dirty Old Me
I thought it was fun to f#ck

[babaruss]

Being cautious (of the kind born of age), I'm always unwilling to jump blindly into questions like these with out having a clearer understanding of what 'intimacy' really means here.

After seeing your other post asking if anyone wanted to meet for tea, I knew for sure more questions begged answers.
What does tea have to do with intimacy ?

These are the sorts of things which confuse men of my type.
Then again men of my type may well deserve to be confused, confounded, and left to wander in the dark, mumbling to themselves.

Knowing what the opposite sex determines to be intimate, might do wonders to bring about those desirable intimate encounters.

"Come here..I want you now" ? Shades of Alexander Graham Bell:
"Come here Watson I need you" !!
At least Watson knew his boss was in trouble, needed his aid, so he answered the call (pun intended).

A woman's idea of 'come here now' can lead one to believe any one of a number of possibilities are about to occur.
Calling the dog comes to mind. My response would be ...' God I hope she's not holding a rolled newspaper in her hand".

That's also how my mother called me when I was in serious trouble.
Hearing those words netted an opposite effect..I foot drug all the way
home every time I got that call.

Sexy clothes or lack there of (and prerequisite) heavy breathing coupled with "come here I want you now" ..definitely would have produced a predictable response. Of course now I'd look at such a person and ask.."what...are you crazy...are you trying to give me a coronary" ?

Come here..could also mean she wants another cup of tea and assumes it's my task to pour.

Rather than bore everyone with the endless possibilities which cross my mind...I'd rather go back to the initial question...by intimacy..what is she talking about.
Babaruss


I'm sure this topic has been kicked around a bit but as I was sitting here this afternoon I starting thinking about some of the men that I know and how they seem rather uninterested in being intimate with a woman.

They seem to be more interested in work than spending time with the opposite sex.

I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation.

So any ideas guys?

Thanks:):

D~

[nurturetruth]

Babaruss

u bring up some good points and questions to reflect on.

I have been waiting for someone to make this observation regarding the use of the word : "intimacy" and then the statement of "come here I want u now" ...

thank u









Being cautious (of the kind born of age), I'm always unwilling to jump blindly into questions like these with out having a clearer understanding of what 'intimacy' really means here.

After seeing your other post asking if anyone wanted to meet for tea, I knew for sure more questions begged answers.
What does tea have to do with intimacy ?
Knowing what the opposite sex determines to be intimate, might do wonders to bring about those desirable intimate encounters.

I'd rather go back to the initial question...by intimacy..what is she talking about.
Babaruss

[DevaKai]

After a great deal of thought and contemplation I now see my truth in regards to this particular situation and I will handle it accordingly.

Thank you for your advice and imput.

D~


Hmmmmmm

I find this interesting.

Personally I have (past, present and future) no problem finding a man to spend the hour, the evening, the day, the weekend, the month or my life with. In fact my plate is full enough I have had to refuse a few really nice offers.

:heart: I look for self assured, self positive people who are passionate about themselves, life and their work. :heart:

:heart: I love geeks who delve into work; I find it highly sexy and I know how to distract them just fine. :heart:

:heart: I believe I attract what I place into the community. :heart:

:heart: I am secure alone and not needy or desperate. :heart:

:heart: I bring passionate energy to everything I touch starting with self. :heart:

:heart: I am well rounded and can have an intelligent conversation about just about any subject. :heart:

:heart: When the subject leaves my knowledge base I see it as a chance to learn and ask questions to gain in sight. :heart:

:heart: :heart: Most of all I LOVE ME! PASSIONATELY! Entirely! And why wouldn't everyone else? :heart: :heart: And I know it shows!

There are so many of these wonderful amazing people available locally (from Mendocino to Monterrey) that I wonder if why you can't find them is because you aren't vibrating as one of them.

I see you posting many times looking for people to spend time with. Few if any seem to answer. I have a feeling there is a very real reason for it.

I think I would challenge you to look into self and see why people do not want to spend time with you.

I do some consulting on this so if you need a hand and are interested in coaching give me call.

[NudeTea]

I think that's a pretty darn good answer, Babaruss. Clever observation; brilliant wording.

[alanora]

Wasn't it singles to couples or similar? Martin Ucik organizer/leader. I wanted to go however never made it.......Mindy


Oh, LOL, Dirty Old Me
I thought it was fun to f#ck

[hales]

Hey, Deva Kai.. I though that you had given up on guys.. what you want to go jerking our chains, for, eh? ; )

Scott.


I'm sure this topic has been kicked around a bit but as I was sitting here this afternoon I starting thinking about some of the men that I know and how they seem rather uninterested in being intimate with a woman.

They seem to be more interested in work than spending time with the opposite sex.

I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation.

So any ideas guys?

Thanks:):

D~

[shellebelle]

Ahhh I love intimacy!

But define it?!

Ok

wordia (https://www.wordia.com)

intimacy
1) noun, close or warm friendship or understanding; personal relationship
2) noun, sexual relationsCollins English Electronic Dictionary - Digital Edition: 2008
© HarperCollins Publishers 2008

Related words

Synonyms

confidence (https://www.wordia.com/confidence), fraternize (https://www.wordia.com/fraternize), familiarity (https://www.wordia.com/familiarity), close (https://www.wordia.com/close), understanding (https://www.wordia.com/understanding)
Antonyms

aloof (https://www.wordia.com/aloof)



Not what I expected. Apparently a random fuck can be defined as intimate. Interesting!

So what do women really want?

Again from wordia (https://www.wordia.com)

arouse (https://www.wordia.com/arouse), sexy (https://www.wordia.com/sexy), slinky (https://www.wordia.com/slinky), naughty (https://www.wordia.com/naughty), erotic (https://www.wordia.com/erotic), titillate (https://www.wordia.com/titillate), provocative (https://www.wordia.com/provocative), sensual (https://www.wordia.com/sensual), flirtatious (https://www.wordia.com/flirtatious), seductive (https://www.wordia.com/seductive), inviting (https://www.wordia.com/inviting), come-hither (https://www.wordia.com/come-hither) (informal), carnal (https://www.wordia.com/carnal), sensuous (https://www.wordia.com/sensuous), bedroom (https://www.wordia.com/bedroom), beddable (https://www.wordia.com/beddable), erotic (https://www.wordia.com/erotic), suggestive (https://www.wordia.com/suggestive), provoke (https://www.wordia.com/provoke), intimate (https://www.wordia.com/intimate), voluptuous (https://www.wordia.com/voluptuous)

Yep that's what I want not always all at once but sometimes. Yep those are synonyms/definitions of sexual.

What's really interesting is the definition of "intimate" vs "intimacy"

Wordia. (https://www.wordia.com/)

intimate
1) adjective, characterized by a close or warm personal relationship: an intimate friend
2) adjective, deeply personal, private, or secret
3) adjective, having sexual relations (with)
4) adjective, a) having a deep or unusual knowledge (of) b) (of knowledge) deep; extensive
5) adjective, having a friendly, warm, or informal atmosphere: an intimate nightclub
6) adjective, of or relating to the essential part or nature of something; intrinsic
7) adjective, denoting the informal second person of verbs and pronouns in French and other languages
8) noun, a close friend
9) verb, to hint; suggest
10) verb, to proclaim; make knownCollins English Electronic Dictionary - Digital Edition: 2008
© HarperCollins Publishers 2008

Related words

Synonyms

secret (https://www.wordia.com/secret), friend (https://www.wordia.com/friend), warm (https://www.wordia.com/warm), thorough (https://www.wordia.com/thorough), close (https://www.wordia.com/close), homeboy (https://www.wordia.com/homeboy) (slang chiefly U.S.), individual (https://www.wordia.com/individual), communicate (https://www.wordia.com/communicate), immediate (https://www.wordia.com/immediate), friendly (https://www.wordia.com/friendly), pal (https://www.wordia.com/pal), bosom (https://www.wordia.com/bosom), confiding (https://www.wordia.com/confiding), warn (https://www.wordia.com/warn), full (https://www.wordia.com/full), friendly (https://www.wordia.com/friendly), in-depth (https://www.wordia.com/in-depth), personally (https://www.wordia.com/personally), cobber (https://www.wordia.com/cobber) (Austral. N.Z. old-fashioned informal), particular (https://www.wordia.com/particular), impart (https://www.wordia.com/impart), comprehensive (https://www.wordia.com/comprehensive), informal (https://www.wordia.com/informal), comrade (https://www.wordia.com/comrade), inseparable (https://www.wordia.com/inseparable), fully (https://www.wordia.com/fully), allude (https://www.wordia.com/allude), experienced (https://www.wordia.com/experienced), familiar (https://www.wordia.com/familiar), intricate (https://www.wordia.com/intricate), warm (https://www.wordia.com/warm), familiar (https://www.wordia.com/familiar)close (https://www.wordia.com/close), exact (https://www.wordia.com/exact), harmonious (https://www.wordia.com/harmonious), chum (https://www.wordia.com/chum) (informal), private (https://www.wordia.com/private), thorough (https://www.wordia.com/thorough), insinuate (https://www.wordia.com/insinuate) (Brit. informal), personal (https://www.wordia.com/personal), thick (https://www.wordia.com/thick) (informal), first-hand (https://www.wordia.com/first-hand), familiar (https://www.wordia.com/familiar), suggest (https://www.wordia.com/suggest), exclusive (https://www.wordia.com/exclusive), dear (https://www.wordia.com/dear), elaborate (https://www.wordia.com/elaborate), snug (https://www.wordia.com/snug), mucker (https://www.wordia.com/mucker) (Brit. slang), personal (https://www.wordia.com/personal), announce (https://www.wordia.com/announce), deep (https://www.wordia.com/deep), devoted (https://www.wordia.com/devoted), exhaustive (https://www.wordia.com/exhaustive), tender (https://www.wordia.com/tender), indicate (https://www.wordia.com/indicate), privy (https://www.wordia.com/privy), loving (https://www.wordia.com/loving), profound (https://www.wordia.com/profound), comfy (https://www.wordia.com/comfy) (informal), crony (https://www.wordia.com/crony) (slang chiefly U.S.), confidential (https://www.wordia.com/confidential), state (https://www.wordia.com/state), particular (https://www.wordia.com/particular), buddy (https://www.wordia.com/buddy) (informal), confidential (https://www.wordia.com/confidential), cosy (https://www.wordia.com/cosy), affectionate (https://www.wordia.com/affectionate), hint (https://www.wordia.com/hint), detailed (https://www.wordia.com/detailed), near (https://www.wordia.com/near), penetrating (https://www.wordia.com/penetrating), warm (https://www.wordia.com/warm), china (https://www.wordia.com/china) (Brit. slang), special (https://www.wordia.com/special), declare (https://www.wordia.com/declare), specific (https://www.wordia.com/specific), relax (https://www.wordia.com/relax), mate (https://www.wordia.com/mate) (informal), cherish (https://www.wordia.com/cherish), confidential (https://www.wordia.com/confidential), imply (https://www.wordia.com/imply), minute (https://www.wordia.com/minute) (N.Z.),
Antonyms

stranger (https://www.wordia.com/stranger), distant (https://www.wordia.com/distant), public (https://www.wordia.com/public)



:heart: :heart: So I can honestly say I want an intimate relationship filled with deep emotional and sexual intimacy! :heart: :heart:

:heart: :heart: I can also happily :wink: say that I have that with friends and lovers since a sex act is not a required necessary for sexual intimacy. :heart: :heart:

[shellebelle]

Oh good!

And now we will enjoy exploring it for ourselves.

Sure you don't want to share.

Sometimes sharing a journey can help another in theirs; as long as you have enough transparency and self honesty to do so.

I loved defining - It's a new passion for me - to use words correctly! :thumbsup:


After a great deal of thought and contemplation I now see my truth in regards to this particular situation and I will handle it accordingly.

Thank you for your advice and imput.

D~

[babaruss]

Well now Shellebelle,
I have a much clearer understanding of your take on intimacy.
Bless you for all your various ways to be intimate..a veritable smorgasbord of options if ever I heard one.
But (and since this thread was started by Deva Kai) I have no idea whatsoever what she wants, or wanted, in the way of intimacy.
I'm thinking this may have been a rhetorical question on her part, because
if a clearer picture of what she meant by intimacy had been offered, she could well have created a line which wound all the way around the block at Infusion. A line of hopefuls who were avoiding the work place just to get in on a little of the 'tea and intimacy' hinted at.
Hell I might have gone down there to see what the fuss was all about too, and might even have done while singing Deva's.... "Kai Kai Kai" ..........or not !!
Russ


Oh good!

And now we will enjoy exploring it for ourselves.

Sure you don't want to share.

Sometimes sharing a journey can help another in theirs; as long as you have enough transparency and self honesty to do so.

I loved defining - It's a new passion for me - to use words correctly! :thumbsup:

[shellebelle]

So you are saying DevaKai simply asked the question to ask it rather rhetorically not truly seeking an answer her or internally?

Much like thinking out loud?


Well now Shellebelle,
I have a much clearer understanding of your take on intimacy.
Bless you for all your various ways to be intimate..a veritable smorgasbord of options if ever I heard one.
But (and since this thread was started by Deva Kai) I have no idea whatsoever what she wants, or wanted, in the way of intimacy.
I'm thinking this may have been a rhetorical question on her part, because
if a clearer picture of what she meant by intimacy had been offered, she could well have created a line which wound all the way around the block at Infusion. A line of hopefuls who were avoiding the work place just to get in on a little of the 'tea and intimacy' hinted at.
Hell I might have gone down there to see what the fuss was all about too, and might even have done while singing Deva's.... "Kai Kai Kai" ..........or not !!
Russ

[shellebelle]

:heart: Oh and a step further could her lack of success or my extreme success be determined by the fact I don't ask the question; I act on the intention?



Well now Shellebelle,
I have a much clearer understanding of your take on intimacy.
Bless you for all your various ways to be intimate..a veritable smorgasbord of options if ever I heard one.
But (and since this thread was started by Deva Kai) I have no idea whatsoever what she wants, or wanted, in the way of intimacy.
I'm thinking this may have been a rhetorical question on her part, because
if a clearer picture of what she meant by intimacy had been offered, she could well have created a line which wound all the way around the block at Infusion. A line of hopefuls who were avoiding the work place just to get in on a little of the 'tea and intimacy' hinted at.
Hell I might have gone down there to see what the fuss was all about too, and might even have done while singing Deva's.... "Kai Kai Kai" ..........or not !!
Russ

[babaruss]

Yep that's what I was saying.
She didn't really offer any information to clarify her idea of intimacy, nor did she follow up in any way other than to bow out when offered help.
I got the impression she was just kind of asking aloud why she couldn't get her needs met (specifically from a guy more interested in work than her).
But then being male and unable to read the female mind, I'll probably never know for sure what she really meant.
Russ


So you are saying DevaKai simply asked the question to ask it rather rhetorically not truly seeking an answer her or internally?

Much like thinking out loud?

[Braggi]

... :heart: :heart: I can also happily :wink: say that I have that with friends and lovers since a sex act is not a required necessary for sexual intimacy. :heart: :heart:

Shelley, go back and read the definitions you posted. "Sexual Intimacy" is pretty much defined as doing the act. Otherwise it's intimacy of another sort.

Fun to read the list anyway.

-Jeff

[Braggi]

... I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation. ...

DevaKai, maybe you could put a slightly more approachable picture in your profile.

-Jeff

[babaruss]

Intention to get involved intimately requires action, not 'just wondering'
which was what I perceived to be the nature Deva Kai's post.
Not everyone is outgoing, nor are as self confident as you appear to be.
With out knowing Deva Kai's real intentions there is no way I could answer your question.
I would encourage Deva Kai to ask questions, and risk a bit, by sharing more about what it is she wants...needs...hopes for, in the way intimate relationships.
Russ







:heart: Oh and a step further could her lack of success or my extreme success be determined by the fact I don't ask the question; I act on the intention?

[hales]

On craigslist singles ads, it means female to female.. ; )


Oh, LOL, Dirty Old Me
I thought it was fun to f#ck

[shellebelle]

Very Astute!

I am apparently gullible enough to believe people actually are wanting to take action but just are scared but maybe it's more of a hiding behind inaction.

PS I am actually an introvert who over compensates. Scary huh?


Intention to get involved intimately requires action, not 'just wondering'
which was what I perceived to be the nature Deva Kai's post.
Not everyone is outgoing, nor are as self confident as you appear to be.
With out knowing Deva Kai's real intentions there is no way I could answer your question.
I would encourage Deva Kai to ask questions, and risk a bit, by sharing more about what it is she wants...needs...hopes for, in the way intimate relationships.
Russ

[shellebelle]

LOL So true but don't use CraigsList!

Many of us use either the local specialty scene Ning's, Groups and Sites or OKCupid.


On craigslist singles ads, it means female to female.. ; )

[nurturetruth]

I see DevaKai is reading/looking at this thread right now.

Perhaps she will post and give us more information regarding her stance on the word: intimacy

[Sylph]

Who is the mean looking cartoon lady on your profile page, Deva Kai?


I see DevaKai is reading/looking at this thread right now.

Perhaps she will post and give us more information regarding her stance on the word: intimacy

[DevaKai]

My definition of intimacy: It includes all the different dimensions of our lives, the physical, the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy to me means total life sharing.

And yes this is Jill:heart:


I see DevaKai is reading/looking at this thread right now.

Perhaps she will post and give us more information regarding her stance on the word: intimacy

[DevaKai]

It's Invader Zim. Look him up, he's rather amusing.:thumbsup:

Who is the mean looking cartoon lady on your profile page, Deva Kai?

[shellebelle]

So Jill what do you really want?

What are you going to invest to achieve it?




My definition of intimacy: It includes all the different dimensions of our lives, the physical, the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy to me means total life sharing.

And yes this is Jill:heart:

[nurturetruth]

Forgive me for missing something here , but in my "opinion" or perspective,
"Invader Zim" does not feel or seem intimate at all!

I DID look it up and the wikipedia stated:

"The series is centered around an alien invader named Zim from the planet Irk who is attempting to conquer and/or destroy a dark and satirical version of the Earth. Zim's schemes are usually foiled by his own stupidity"

Invader Zim - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invader_Zim)

Also, if ur Zim, then I guess that makes me "Dib" , since apparently wikipedia states that he is :
"one of the few characters who is aware of Zim's true identity"

and perhaps i am just notice things, but the minute u started posting in the Conscious Loving category, I knew u were Jill.
Fairly obvious as there were very similar aspects linked to various user names u have used.

I have been waiting to see if u would reveal urself.

I hold alot of respect , appreciation and admiration for u doing so. Thank u!

perhaps u will consider identifying with something more intimate and loving than an "Invader Zim"... regardless of how amusing he seems.

u get what u put out...
but then, i am not telling u anything u don't already know.

and good luck attracting what it is u are wanting/seeking!

[nurturetruth]

This sounds more like a marriage or life commitment than intimacy.

but i love that u answered and shared ur definition of what intimacy means to you.

In2meiC = intimacy


My definition of intimacy: . Intimacy to me means total life sharing.

[shellebelle]

Ick; I agree with nurturetruth.

I would not even read the series or have knowledge on this character unless that's the character of males you want into your life.



Forgive me for missing something here , but in my "opinion" or perspective,
"Invader Zim" does not feel or seem intimate at all!

I DID look it up and the wikipedia stated:

"The series is centered around an alien invader named Zim from the planet Irk who is attempting to conquer and/or destroy a dark and satirical version of the Earth. Zim's schemes are usually foiled by his own stupidity"

Invader Zim - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invader_Zim)

Also, if ur Zim, then I guess that makes me "Dib" , since apparently wikipedia states that he is :
"one of the few characters who is aware of Zim's true identity"

and perhaps i am just notice things, but the minute u started posting in the Conscious Loving category, I knew u were Jill.
Fairly obvious as there were very similar aspects linked to various user names u have used.

I have been waiting to see if u would reveal urself.

I hold alot of respect , appreciation and admiration for u doing so. Thank u!

perhaps u will consider identifying with something more intimate and loving than an "Invader Zim"... regardless of how amusing he seems.

u get what u put out...
but then, i am not telling u anything u don't already know.

and good luck attracting what it is u are wanting/seeking!

[DevaKai]

You know Invader Zim may not be the best image for me to post. I'm thinking that his sidekick GIR would be more approiate.:thumbsup:

"I love the little tacos. I love them good....I NEED tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes!"


Forgive me for missing something here , but in my "opinion" or perspective,
"Invader Zim" does not feel or seem intimate at all!

I DID look it up and the wikipedia stated:

"The series is centered around an alien invader named Zim from the planet Irk who is attempting to conquer and/or destroy a dark and satirical version of the Earth. Zim's schemes are usually foiled by his own stupidity"

Invader Zim - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invader_Zim)

Also, if ur Zim, then I guess that makes me "Dib" , since apparently wikipedia states that he is :
"one of the few characters who is aware of Zim's true identity"

and perhaps i am just notice things, but the minute u started posting in the Conscious Loving category, I knew u were Jill.
Fairly obvious as there were very similar aspects linked to various user names u have used.

I have been waiting to see if u would reveal urself.

I hold alot of respect , appreciation and admiration for u doing so. Thank u!

perhaps u will consider identifying with something more intimate and loving than an "Invader Zim"... regardless of how amusing he seems.

u get what u put out...
but then, i am not telling u anything u don't already know.

and good luck attracting what it is u are wanting/seeking!

[DevaKai]

:whistle::bgrphug::kiss:


So Jill what do you really want?

What are you going to invest to achieve it?

[shellebelle]

I'm not sure that's a tangible answer.

Maybe describe you to us and then you will attract yourself to you! Since we always attract whats in our own mirror!


:whistle::bgrphug::kiss:

[DevaKai]

A tangible answer...You would like me to tell you who I am? Who I see when I look in the mirror. I see a strong-willed woman. I see someone who's hidden behind a facade for far too long. I see a woman who has played the fool and not show her true nature to other's for fear of rejection. I see someone who's made people laugh so that she can be accepted but has never accepted herself.

I see a woman who is ready to own her power. I see a woman who is pulling off that false layer to get to what's underneath....a beautiful, sensual being who is gentle, kind and compassionate.

That's who I am and this is what I want.



I'm not sure that's a tangible answer.

Maybe describe you to us and then you will attract yourself to you! Since we always attract whats in our own mirror!

[shellebelle]

I assume what you mean by
That's who I am and this is what I want. is the last paragraph
I see a woman who is ready to own her power. I see a woman who is pulling off that false layer to get to what's underneath....a beautiful, sensual being who is gentle, kind and compassionate. and not what you first said. If so hold the last part and we'll hold it for you too.

You'll immediately find another woman who is ready to own her power. I see a woman who is pulling off that false layer to get to what's underneath....a beautiful, sensual being who is gentle, kind and compassionate.

And that's a good start in finding great relationships. Start with self and work out!


A tangible answer...You would like me to tell you who I am? Who I see when I look in the mirror. I see a strong-willed woman. I see someone who's hidden behind a facade for far too long. I see a woman who has played the fool and not show her true nature to other's for fear of rejection. I see someone who's made people laugh so that she can be accepted but has never accepted herself.

I see a woman who is ready to own her power. I see a woman who is pulling off that false layer to get to what's underneath....a beautiful, sensual being who is gentle, kind and compassionate.

That's who I am and this is what I want.

[DevaKai]

Yes you read that correctly. I was referring to the statement:

"I see a woman who is ready to own her power. I see a woman who is pulling off that false layer to get to what's underneath....a beautiful, sensual being who is gentle, kind and compassionate."

Yes I will hold that:heart:thank you.


I assume what you mean by is the last paragraph and not what you first said. If so hold the last part and we'll hold it for you too.

You'll immediately find another woman who is ready to own her power. I see a woman who is pulling off that false layer to get to what's underneath....a beautiful, sensual being who is gentle, kind and compassionate.

And that's a good start in finding great relationships. Start with self and work out!

[babaruss]

Small question here for Deva Kai aka Jill...since neither name has an real meaning for me at this time, and leaves me no more enlightened than before.
If 'Jill' had posted a request asking to understand what men want, or had sent out invitations for a tea and intimacy meeting at Infusion (instead of Deva Kai) would the response have been different ? If so in what way, and why ?
Also did the false layer called 'Deva Kai' serve you any better than that false layer of 'Jill' you are working at peeling of today ?
Russ


..........."I see a woman who is ready to own her power. I see a woman who is pulling off that false layer to get to what's underneath....a beautiful, sensual being who is gentle, kind and compassionate."

[DevaKai]

I'm not sure if the response would have been different if I had posted under the name Jill. I may have gotten a different response if I had worded my posts a little more clearly.

Hiding behind the name's Deva Kai or the false layer of Jill did not serve me. What I am now finding out is that if I'm simply just myself that is what serves me best.


Small question here for Deva Kai aka Jill...since neither name has an real meaning for me at this time, and leaves me no more enlightened than before.
If 'Jill' had posted a request asking to understand what men want, or had sent out invitations for a tea and intimacy meeting at Infusion (instead of Deva Kai) would the response have been different ? If so in what way, and why ?
Also did the false layer called 'Deva Kai' serve you any better than that false layer of 'Jill' you are working at peeling of today ?
Russ

[NudeTea]

Which takes us back to Ms Terry's interpretation of f2f. ;)



Shelley, go back and read the definitions you posted. "Sexual Intimacy" is pretty much defined as doing the act. Otherwise it's intimacy of another sort.

Fun to read the list anyway.

-Jeff

[hales]

Isn't intimacy whatever you choose it to be.. a glance, a shared confidence, a secret touch? For me it's about something shared privately between lovers, or between people who for that moment at least share some deeper sense of connection and feeling, be it love or something "like it"..

One might choose to limit the word intimacy to the physical act of sexual intercourse, or something similar, but I think that would be degrading it, reducing a rainbow to a black and white image.

When Deva Kai/Jill defined it as total life sharing, maybe she meant sharing all parts of herself with a partner, being vulnerable and open to that person.

Is that right, Jill/Deva Kai?

Scott.

[MsTerry]

Intimacy could have sexual content, but most often it is after sex.
It is that moment of vulnerability, that moment of experiencing an other person for what they are.
A moment without words.



Isn't intimacy whatever you choose it to be.. a glance, a shared confidence, a secret touch? For me it's about something shared privately between lovers, or between people who for that moment at least share some deeper sense of connection and feeling, be it love or something "like it"..

One might choose to limit the word intimacy to the physical act of sexual intercourse, or something similar, but I think that would be degrading it, reducing a rainbow to a black and white image.

When Deva Kai/Jill defined it as total life sharing, maybe she meant sharing all parts of herself with a partner, being vulnerable and open to that person.

Is that right, Jill/Deva Kai?

Scott.

[hales]

For instance, I just read this in a review of a restaurant in Sebastopol:

"Snuggled on sheepskin throws on a couch before a fire, a disheveled couple feed one another with forks and fingers. Her hair has loosened from its tie and her face is flushed. He extends his fork, she takes a coy bite and makes a pretty moue with her mouth. She giggles. We shouldn't be watching this.
But the cozy fireside area of Sebastopol's French Garden Restaurant and Brasserie invites such intimacies. Just celebrating its first anniversary, the restaurant has a large, well-lit dining room and a nicely dim, comfortable bar where lovers may eat tucked away while musicians play."


This is a perfect example of what I was talking about. ; )



Scott.




Isn't intimacy whatever you choose it to be.. a glance, a shared confidence, a secret touch? For me it's about something shared privately between lovers, or between people who for that moment at least share some deeper sense of connection and feeling, be it love or something "like it"..

One might choose to limit the word intimacy to the physical act of sexual intercourse, or something similar, but I think that would be degrading it, reducing a rainbow to a black and white image.

When Deva Kai/Jill defined it as total life sharing, maybe she meant sharing all parts of herself with a partner, being vulnerable and open to that person.

Is that right, Jill/Deva Kai?

Scott.

[babaruss]

Wow so vulnerability is when my partner thinks about me while I'm asleep on top of her...who would have thought it Big Smile
Babaruss !!


Intimacy could have sexual content, but most often it is after sex.
It is that moment of vulnerability, that moment of experiencing an other person for what they are.
A moment without words.

[DevaKai]

You summed it up quite nicely...

Being vulnerable and open to that person is definitely part of it. Also like you said it can be whatever you choose it to be, like "a glance, a shared confidence, a secret touch."

I agree that it's also about "sharing some deeper sense of connection and feeling" with another person.




Isn't intimacy whatever you choose it to be.. a glance, a shared confidence, a secret touch? For me it's about something shared privately between lovers, or between people who for that moment at least share some deeper sense of connection and feeling, be it love or something "like it"..

One might choose to limit the word intimacy to the physical act of sexual intercourse, or something similar, but I think that would be degrading it, reducing a rainbow to a black and white image.

When Deva Kai/Jill defined it as total life sharing, maybe she meant sharing all parts of herself with a partner, being vulnerable and open to that person.

Is that right, Jill/Deva Kai?

Scott.

[ChristineL]

My feeling is that intimacy should be before sex...at least I've found that sex that comes from intimacy is more fulfilling. I've also pretty well concluded that a lot of people have sex with new partners after a very short acquaintance in search of intimacy. It rarely works.

I've come across an awful lot of people who talk about their "boy friend" or "girl friend" and they've been dating (having sex) for all of two days. They move in together after a week, break up after a month. They call it a relationship, I call it an extended one night stand.



Intimacy could have sexual content, but most often it is after sex.
It is that moment of vulnerability, that moment of experiencing an other person for what they are.
A moment without words.

[MsTerry]

in my long term relations, it was frequently the moments without sex that were intimate.
It was those moments of shared consciousness that made a relationship worthwhile.
Sex is a gateway, not an end all


My feeling is that intimacy should be before sex...at least I've found that sex that comes from intimacy is more fulfilling. I've also pretty well concluded that a lot of people have sex with new partners after a very short acquaintance in search of intimacy. It rarely works.

[MsTerry]

Yes Baba, you are very vulnerable when you sleep like a baba


Wow so vulnerability is when my partner thinks about me while I'm asleep on top of her...who would have thought it Big Smile
Babaruss !!

[nurturetruth]

https://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif <!--- blog subject ---> <label id="pBlogSubject_465832785">In2meic is an intimate process.....</label><label id="translatedBlogSubject_465832785" style="display: none;"></label>
<!--- blog body --->
Once we have found paths towards loving ourselves and allowing room/permission to feel feelings and be intimate with ourselves, only then can we be truly intimate with the "other."For me, the beloved and the lover are one in the same.

the lover loves all. the lover thus becomes the beloved. and as the beloved is loved, so shall it also be the lover.

the more available we are for ousrelves, the more we can offer/share ourselves to and with another.

this is why the concept of space is important.

Intimacy for me is heart felt. It is an expression. An action verb and adjective. Even a noun.

To love and be intimate with another is to be vulnerable.
It is to be PRESENT with yourself and another.

Recognizing and acknowledging/accepting the associated feelings/experiences from the past but living in the present.

Intimacy occurs when you are sharing your mind, body, soul as you reveal your true essence to another. Exposing ourselves. All of our truths.
Belch's,Farts and all. The whole perfectly imperfect package!

So often we fear judgment (ego).
Or perhaps our need for acceptance and reassurance that we are "ok" and lovable is there.

Perhaps we believe that we are only able to fully accept and love ourselves if we look outside ourselves , to another/others to do this for us.

The journey of the beloved and the lover is not always a happy pleasant one. For nothing is consistent . How could it be?
Everything changes and everything grows. Its all just phases and lessons. Temporary.

Life is but a balance of happiness and grief. Order and Chaos. Light and Dark. And yet when the darkness and light are both honored (not condemned/judged) for what they are and as they are...they come together and here...somewhere between darkness and light...are where Rainbows are formed.
This is where the lover and the beloved lie together. At least, this is my perspective.

I also support the notion that to be able to be the lover and the beloved,
I must be willing to learn. Learning is a process and affects us in many ways. If we don't end up learning a particular lesson ,its ok!
The lesson will just repeat and show up in a different form at another time....giving us the opportunity to "get it" and to hopefully get closer to where we want to be.

For me, Learning is kinda like the Digestion Process of our bodies. Our bodies accumulate, process, digest, absorb what we feed it. What we eat and absorb affects our whole body make up and energy. ( *MORE LATER!) Same with what we choose to learn or be aware of.

I know one thing ~ I am on a journey of learning to accept myself as I am , free from any judgments. To just let myself be whatever and wherever I am "at" and to love myself .

My reflections will help me with this lesson.
The lesson of the lover and the beloved.
The lesson of freeing the ego and the mind.
For you will be my teacher. Perhaps even my beloved.

And you will definitely be the key holder; unlocking the door for which I will finally come through.
Yes, the journey towards the beloved and the lover is a vulnerable one and exposes all .
But through you, I will learn more about intimacy or rather... I will experience IN2meiC .

I will look inside myself and share myself with you as I hope you will look inside yourself and share yourself with me. Being intimate is a sacred act.

For me, some forms of being intimate by myself or showing myself intimacy might be: bubble bath, epsom salt bath, making green veggie juices for my body for good health, a nice reflective walk or a walk in silence, photography, journaling, meditating, massage, napping,sunbathing nude, cuddling with my kitties, gardening, reflecting on what is true for me (satsang w/myself) , and of course, any other act(s) of loving myself. Yes, self pleasuring myself IS included! :wink:

So what does it mean to be intimate with another? for me, these are a few ideas

holding,cuddling,snuggling, resting or napping with another is all very sacred.
A hug, a wink, a kiss, a smile, a reflective conversation, photography, the ability to listen, communicate, to offer one another presence, brushing of the hair, massaging the scalp or any other body part, nurturing, exchanging secrets, building trust and sharing truth , playing music, sharing blogs/journals, sitting out in nature together just "being".......

[NudeTea]

Bada bing bada boom. These and other acts of nature happen so effortlessly and predictably with you, Kali. Love it!!!


https://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif <!--- blog subject ---> <label id="pBlogSubject_465832785">In2meic is an intimate process.....</label><label id="translatedBlogSubject_465832785" style="display: none;"></label>
<!--- blog body --->
Once we have found paths towards loving ourselves and allowing room/permission to feel feelings and be intimate with ourselves, only then can we be truly intimate with the "other."For me, the beloved and the lover are one in the same.

the lover loves all. the lover thus becomes the beloved. and as the beloved is loved, so shall it also be the lover.

the more available we are for ousrelves, the more we can offer/share ourselves to and with another.

this is why the concept of space is important.

Intimacy for me is heart felt. It is an expression. An action verb and adjective. Even a noun.

To love and be intimate with another is to be vulnerable.
It is to be PRESENT with yourself and another.

Recognizing and acknowledging/accepting the associated feelings/experiences from the past but living in the present.

Intimacy occurs when you are sharing your mind, body, soul as you reveal your true essence to another. Exposing ourselves. All of our truths.
Belch's,Farts and all. The whole perfectly imperfect package!

So often we fear judgment (ego).
Or perhaps our need for acceptance and reassurance that we are "ok" and lovable is there.

Perhaps we believe that we are only able to fully accept and love ourselves if we look outside ourselves , to another/others to do this for us.

The journey of the beloved and the lover is not always a happy pleasant one. For nothing is consistent . How could it be?
Everything changes and everything grows. Its all just phases and lessons. Temporary.

Life is but a balance of happiness and grief. Order and Chaos. Light and Dark. And yet when the darkness and light are both honored (not condemned/judged) for what they are and as they are...they come together and here...somewhere between darkness and light...are where Rainbows are formed.
This is where the lover and the beloved lie together. At least, this is my perspective.

I also support the notion that to be able to be the lover and the beloved,
I must be willing to learn. Learning is a process and affects us in many ways. If we don't end up learning a particular lesson ,its ok!
The lesson will just repeat and show up in a different form at another time....giving us the opportunity to "get it" and to hopefully get closer to where we want to be.

For me, Learning is kinda like the Digestion Process of our bodies. Our bodies accumulate, process, digest, absorb what we feed it. What we eat and absorb affects our whole body make up and energy. ( *MORE LATER!) Same with what we choose to learn or be aware of.

I know one thing I am on a journey of learning to accept myself as I am , free from any judgments. To just let myself be whatever and wherever I am "at" and to love myself .

My reflections will help me with this lesson.
The lesson of the lover and the beloved.
The lesson of freeing the ego and the mind.
For you will be my teacher. Perhaps even my beloved.

And you will definitely be the key holder; unlocking the door for which I will finally come through.
Yes, the journey towards the beloved and the lover is a vulnerable one and exposes all . But through you, I will learn more about intimacy or rather... I will experience IN2meiC .

I will look inside myself and share myself with you as I hope you will look inside yourself and share yourself with me. Being intimate is a sacred act.

For me, some forms of being intimate by myself or showing myself intimacy might be: bubble bath, epsom salt bath, making green veggie juices for my body for good health, a nice reflective walk or a walk in silence, photography, journaling, meditating, massage, napping, cuddling with my kitties,gardening, reflecting on what is true for me (satsang w/myself) ,and of course, any other act(s) of loving myself. Yes, self pleasuring myself IS included! :wink:

So what does it mean to be intimate with another? for me, these are a few ideas

holding,cuddling,snuggling, resting or napping with another is all very sacred. A hug, a kiss, a smile, a reflective conversation, photography, the ability to listen, communicate, to offer one another presence, brushing of the hair, massaging the scalp or any other body part, nurturing, exchanging secrets, building trust and sharing truth , playing music, sharing blogs/journals, sitting out in nature together just "being".......

[babaruss]

Great Post...one which let's me know where I clearly am not !!
Still it does give me a few ideas to try (at feeling o.k. about me).
Self love for example has just been an intellectual concept, one for me to ponder. It is nothing I have ever been able to accomplish.
My critical child, well trained years ago by critical parents, still rules this old roost.
I can appreciate...that is to say I can readily accept taking silent walks..communing with nature, things like that.
I am getting better and better at accepting people as being who they are.
Had damned sure better because that's all they can be at this moment in time.
Being able to be with people up close and personal on the other hand, is still a miserable experience.
Self doubt, self recriminations for past failings (my critical child is a real prick !!) makes it very awkward and uncomfortable for me to be in the presence of others for very long.
But as they say 'enough about me'
Thanks for a thoughtful and deeply personal post....one which demands a personal response rather than a quick tap on the gratitude button.
Food for thought indeed.
Thank you
Babaruss




https://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gif <!--- blog subject ---> <label id="pBlogSubject_465832785">In2meic is an intimate process.....</label><label id="translatedBlogSubject_465832785" style="display: none;"></label>
<!--- blog body --->
Once we have found paths towards loving ourselves and allowing room/permission to feel feelings and be intimate with ourselves, only then can we be truly intimate with the "other."For me, the beloved and the lover are one in the same.

the lover loves all. the lover thus becomes the beloved. and as the beloved is loved, so shall it also be the lover.

the more available we are for ousrelves, the more we can offer/share ourselves to and with another.

this is why the concept of space is important.

Intimacy for me is heart felt. It is an expression. An action verb and adjective. Even a noun.

To love and be intimate with another is to be vulnerable.
It is to be PRESENT with yourself and another.

Recognizing and acknowledging/accepting the associated feelings/experiences from the past but living in the present.

Intimacy occurs when you are sharing your mind, body, soul as you reveal your true essence to another. Exposing ourselves. All of our truths.
Belch's,Farts and all. The whole perfectly imperfect package!

So often we fear judgment (ego).
Or perhaps our need for acceptance and reassurance that we are "ok" and lovable is there.

Perhaps we believe that we are only able to fully accept and love ourselves if we look outside ourselves , to another/others to do this for us.

The journey of the beloved and the lover is not always a happy pleasant one. For nothing is consistent . How could it be?
Everything changes and everything grows. Its all just phases and lessons. Temporary.

Life is but a balance of happiness and grief. Order and Chaos. Light and Dark. And yet when the darkness and light are both honored (not condemned/judged) for what they are and as they are...they come together and here...somewhere between darkness and light...are where Rainbows are formed.
This is where the lover and the beloved lie together. At least, this is my perspective.

I also support the notion that to be able to be the lover and the beloved,
I must be willing to learn. Learning is a process and affects us in many ways. If we don't end up learning a particular lesson ,its ok!
The lesson will just repeat and show up in a different form at another time....giving us the opportunity to "get it" and to hopefully get closer to where we want to be.

For me, Learning is kinda like the Digestion Process of our bodies. Our bodies accumulate, process, digest, absorb what we feed it. What we eat and absorb affects our whole body make up and energy. ( *MORE LATER!) Same with what we choose to learn or be aware of.

I know one thing ~ I am on a journey of learning to accept myself as I am , free from any judgments. To just let myself be whatever and wherever I am "at" and to love myself .

My reflections will help me with this lesson.
The lesson of the lover and the beloved.
The lesson of freeing the ego and the mind.
For you will be my teacher. Perhaps even my beloved.

And you will definitely be the key holder; unlocking the door for which I will finally come through.
Yes, the journey towards the beloved and the lover is a vulnerable one and exposes all .
But through you, I will learn more about intimacy or rather... I will experience IN2meiC .

I will look inside myself and share myself with you as I hope you will look inside yourself and share yourself with me. Being intimate is a sacred act.

For me, some forms of being intimate by myself or showing myself intimacy might be: bubble bath, epsom salt bath, making green veggie juices for my body for good health, a nice reflective walk or a walk in silence, photography, journaling, meditating, massage, napping,sunbathing nude, cuddling with my kitties, gardening, reflecting on what is true for me (satsang w/myself) , and of course, any other act(s) of loving myself. Yes, self pleasuring myself IS included! :wink:

So what does it mean to be intimate with another? for me, these are a few ideas

holding,cuddling,snuggling, resting or napping with another is all very sacred.
A hug, a wink, a kiss, a smile, a reflective conversation, photography, the ability to listen, communicate, to offer one another presence, brushing of the hair, massaging the scalp or any other body part, nurturing, exchanging secrets, building trust and sharing truth , playing music, sharing blogs/journals, sitting out in nature together just "being".......

[yogatree]

I feel like diving right into this fantastic thread!

I realize I am currently exploring a way of intimacy very different than how I've experienced it before.

Before: I met someone I was attracted to physically/energetically, and before knowing them very long was having sex. Next thing you know we're moving in and talking about spending the rest of our lives together. Then we break up...

I realize that this way of quickly engaging sexually may very well have clouded my sense of intimacy.

Now: I am approaching things differently. I am further exploring the many, many aspects of intimacy with another - everything from communicating, sharing intimate journal entries, and sharing music to cuddling, carressing, kissing, etc. Sex is also included in intimacy that I enjoy! This is especially the case when the person (male or female) is also connecting with the Sacred/Divine in the process, for when this is shared, the intimacy in all its many forms is MAGNIFICENT!

I am realizing, also, that when intimacy is expanded to encompass even things like communicating via thread posts...that there is no clouding occuring. It feels clearer somehow...

Intimacy also involves a sense of vulnerability, exposure. When the other holds that vulnerable self with gentle, loving hands, the true, beautiful Self is allowed to continue to expand and express.

yogatree

[hales]

Nurturetruth, thank you for so generously sharing from your own experience.. there is much to explore in your words. I found a lot of truth here, as well as resonance to my own sense of what intimacy could be.

May you be blessed with joy, love, and light to illuminate your explorations.

Scott.

[yogatree]

You know, I did read your post about meeting for tea, but it didn't show up in my mailbox until after the fact. Was that just my experience?

If you feel so inclined, throw the offer out there a couple more times. Sometimes it takes a bit to get things going. I personally think it would be great to join a few waccovians at the teahouse for stimulating conversation...





In response to meeting for tea...actually no one responded, some did read the post but no one took me up on the offer for Sunday tea. So I decided to stay in and read a book.:):

[DevaKai]

Well if anyone would like to meet for tea, let me know when a good time and day is. I was thinking Sunday...have a little tea, perhaps some brunch.

Let's get a group together and make this a regular event.:):

Thanks.:thumbsup:


You know, I did read your post about meeting for tea, but it didn't show up in my mailbox until after the fact. Was that just my experience?

If you feel so inclined, throw the offer out there a couple more times. Sometimes it takes a bit to get things going. I personally think it would be great to join a few waccovians at the teahouse for stimulating conversation...

[C Tut]

LOL So true but don't use CraigsList!

Many of us use either the local specialty scene Ning's, Groups and Sites or OKCupid.

I know this is an old post, but I have to say that I met the love of my life on Craigslist, and I couldn't be happier about it!

[hales]

Did you answer an ad, or did you post one? And can you recommend a strategy for finding a "keeper"? I think there are all kinds of people on CL.. some "bottom feeders" and some really nice people.

S.


I know this is an old post, but I have to say that I met the love of my life on Craigslist, and I couldn't be happier about it!

[C Tut]

Did you answer an ad, or did you post one? And can you recommend a strategy for finding a "keeper"? I think there are all kinds of people on CL.. some "bottom feeders" and some really nice people.

S.

I answered one ad 3 years ago, and we've been together ever since. I honestly haven't done too much online dating, I pretty much lucked out right away, but I have read a lot of online personal ads. When posting an ad, my biggest advise is to be positive. There are soooo many people posting super whiny ads about how hard it is to find the right person or the trauma they have suffered in past relationships. There is also a lot of transparent lonliness, neediness, desperation, etc.

What attracted me to my boyfriend's ad (other than the underlying siliness he expressed) is that he was super positive about himself and his life situation, and very clearly expressed what he was looking for in a partner without being nit-picky or unrealistic. It was refreshing to come across an ad by someone who sounded well balanced and able to be happy on their own, and also someone who knows what they want.

Which leads me to my second piece of advice, which is to know what you want and to be very open and honest about that. Be picky. Also, if you have a clear idea of what you are looking for or able to offer, it is much easier to "manifest" that desire into reality.

Thirdly, once you actually connect with someone and start exchanging emails/phone calls, get a pic from them right away, regardless of how shallow it may seem. Most of us have some sort of idealized image of what we want in our minds, and it is all to easy to get excited about someone and let your imagination run wild. This is bound to lead to disappointment, as inevitably the person you are talking to will not look like that person you were imagining, and that is almost a guarantee. Hell, there is a chance that the person doesn't even look like their pic, but it gets you that much closer.

Also, I noticed that my boyfriend and I had an easy rapport back and forth in the emails, and that was a good indication. It was very light-hearted and silly and seemed to flow well.

There are a lot of really nice people out there on Craigslist. Expect to run into a few "bottom-feeders" and unsolicited cock shots, but keep faith that there is someone out there just like you, looking for whatever it is that you are looking for. I for one love Craigslist. Not only did I find my partner there, but also the house we are renting, a dog that was about to be put down at a shelter, and my very favorite purple overstuffed chair. Miracles do happen!

[Barry]

Great advice (be positive and honest, get a picture), C Tut!

I also met my partner (https://www.waccobb.net/forums/members/mrs-wacco.html) online (Match.com). After wasting lots of time, as enjoyable as it might have been, flirting via email and phone only to be disappointed when I met them in person, my policy/advice was to meet asap for a low commitment date (tea or a walk).

But now there's a better option: Skype (https://www.skype.com/) (or any other video link)! This seems like a no-brainer way to get a quick and easy take on somebody. You can see what they really look like (not 5 years/15 lbs. ago and not Photoshopped) and some sense of what your rapport is like. Of course it doesn't replace meeting, but its a whole lot more effecient!

Has anybody out there used video links to check out a possible online date?



I answered one ad 3 years ago, and we've been together ever since.... !

[MsTerry]

https://x.myspace.com/images/spacer.gifBelch's,Farts and all. The whole perfectly imperfect package!

I guess, I am the only one who doesn't equate flatulence with intimacy.
I've heard a story about someone eating chocolate in bed and crumbling flakes all over. The little brown spots that melted onto the body had the appearance of, well, residual splatter marks of a bowel emptied at godspeed.
This was not taken as a sign of intimacy either.

[hales]

I would think that one of the many meanings of the word "intimacy" would probably include accepting private and personal things, including personal hygiene..

I think that the requirements of being in a couple-type relationship include, but are not limited to, being able to treat one's mate's habits, shortcomings and idiosyncrasies in a similar way to one's own..
that is, to accept them as a part of the whole person, since the beloved may not be able or willing to give up those things, right away, just because the partner does not find them romantic.. And if one really does love his/her partner, many things can be accepted. I was just thinking, today, how important attitude is in coloring how we get along with someone!

One time, I was sitting on a terrace at an Oakland Cafe, and overheard a woman talking about her man's snoring.. she expressed her feeling that she was happy to hear him breathing and to know that he was alive! (Which was significant to me, since my wife at that time had a thing about my breathing.. she couldn't sleep with that sound.. a later girlfriend told me she wasn't bothered by my breathing, at all.. and that I didn't snore much, if at all.. ) To me this indicated that a lot of this sort of thing is perhaps more about a person's temperament and early life experience, than about some objective supposed effect of our behavior on our partner, or vice versa..

Personally, I can accept a lot, depending on the spirit in which things are "shared".. there is no reason for someone to be rude or obnoxious, just because there is a "captive audience". I think one reason there is such a high failure rate in marriages, is that people try to present such an appealing package, when they are looking for love, but seem to give up completely, once they are thoroughly involved..

To be successful, an ongoing relationship has to have ongoing attention, and nurturing, since the nature of attraction and commitment naturally changes as the individuals involved do, and as the circumstances evolve.. ie: changes in employment, education, family planning, aging, illness, and other factors.

Scott.



I guess, I am the only one who doesn't equate flatulence with intimacy.
I've heard a story about someone eating chocolate in bed and crumbling flakes all over. The little brown spots that melted onto the body had the appearance of, well, residual splatter marks of a bowel emptied at godspeed.
This was not taken as a sign of intimacy either.

[babaruss]

Talk about "going where no man has gone before" Ms. Terry....(that is to say in regard to your graphic image of what intimacy is not for you).
The Nature Truth description seemed more descriptive of what feeling comfortable enough to be natural in all ways human is like for her.
Not sure if that 'comfort-ability' is conducive to a romantic response from Ms Truth's romantic partner. It seems, at least to my mind, a bit more like walking among the great unwashed than experiencing the perfume generated by love making.
Babaruss



I guess, I am the only one who doesn't equate flatulence with intimacy.
I've heard a story about someone eating chocolate in bed and crumbling flakes all over. The little brown spots that melted onto the body had the appearance of, well, residual splatter marks of a bowel emptied at godspeed.
This was not taken as a sign of intimacy either.

[MsTerry]

I think people mix different meanings of the word 'intimate'.
I can become quite intimate with my co-worker's habits, but i wouldn't consider it intimacy.
Same with a partner, just because you're intimate with your partner's patterns, that doesn't make it intimacy.
In fact it can lead to resentment or anger as Hales pointed out.
And that would be the opposite of intimacy.


Talk about "going where no man has gone before" Ms. Terry....(that is to say in regard to your graphic image of what intimacy is not for you).
The Nature Truth description seemed more descriptive of what feeling comfortable enough to be natural in all ways human is like for her.
Not sure if that 'comfort-ability' is conducive to a romantic response from Ms Truth's romantic partner. It seems, at least to my mind, a bit more like walking among the great unwashed than experiencing the perfume generated by love making.
Babaruss

[CSummer]

(Responding to the original post . . .)

About being interested in spending intimate time with a woman vs. working, I would say it depends on the work - and it depends on the woman. It also depends on how well I feel I can deal with what comes up for me when I'm with a (or this) woman vs. how well I deal with the challenges of work.

About how I would respond to a beautiful woman saying to me, "come here I want you now:" On different levels, there would be different responses. Part of me might be quite apprehensive. What does she want from me?! Does she want to devour me?! Does she see and care for me (as a real person)? want to know me and what's true for me? Another part might be intrigued or curious, but the overall sense is that I would be very cautious. Being "beautiful" also doesn't guarantee that I'm attracted - that I see and appreciate her beauty, or even if I do, that I want to be with her.

Of course, this is just my take on it, but something about the statement, "come here I want you now," brings up feelings that might be something like those of an animal discovering it has just become of immediate interest to some predator. Suddenly, I have extremely pressing business elsewhere!
:Um-smile:


I'm sure this topic has been kicked around a bit but as I was sitting here this afternoon I starting thinking about some of the men that I know and how they seem rather uninterested in being intimate with a woman.

They seem to be more interested in work than spending time with the opposite sex.

I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation.

So any ideas guys?

Thanks:):

D~

[Jason 17]

I'm sure this topic has been kicked around a bit but as I was sitting here this afternoon I starting thinking about some of the men that I know and how they seem rather uninterested in being intimate with a woman.

They seem to be more interested in work than spending time with the opposite sex.

I would think that if a beautiful woman was to say to you, "come here I want you now," that there would be no hesitation.

So any ideas guys?

Thanks:):

D~


I'm afraid I wouldn't be so quick to jump in the sack.I really enjoy the forming of desire.I want to live in intimacy.I establish intimacy by knowing a woman and being known by a woman.Then the sex for me is great fun as well as an exploration of this new intimacy.No judgements, what works for me may not be important to you,but somehow this protects my core values concerning my body and my soul

[Sylph]

No judgements, what works for me may not be important to you,but somehow this protects my core values concerning my body and my soul
Nicely put, Jason.