wbreitman
02-05-2009, 03:03 PM
Ø
"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Ø This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using
the Q and A format:<o:p></o:p>
Ø
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.<o:p></o:p>
Ø
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">China</st1:country-region></st1:place> . Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment? <o:p></o:p>
Ø A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">China</st1:country-region></st1:place> ?<o:p></o:p>
Ø A. “Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">US</st1:country-region></st1:place> economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
Ø If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region> .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Taiwan</st1:country-region></st1:place> .
<o:p></o:p>
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on">Mexico</st1:country-region>,
<st1:country-region w:st="on">Honduras</st1:country-region> , and <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Guatemala</st1:place></st1:country-region> (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on">Japan</st1:country-region> and Korea
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Nigeria</st1:place></st1:country-region> .
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region> . You can keep
the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to
a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or
tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
:hmmm::hmmm:
"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Ø This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using
the Q and A format:<o:p></o:p>
Ø
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.<o:p></o:p>
Ø
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">China</st1:country-region></st1:place> . Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment? <o:p></o:p>
Ø A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">China</st1:country-region></st1:place> ?<o:p></o:p>
Ø A. “Shut up."
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">US</st1:country-region></st1:place> economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
Ø If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region> .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Taiwan</st1:country-region></st1:place> .
<o:p></o:p>
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on">Mexico</st1:country-region>,
<st1:country-region w:st="on">Honduras</st1:country-region> , and <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Guatemala</st1:place></st1:country-region> (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on">Japan</st1:country-region> and Korea
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Nigeria</st1:place></st1:country-region> .
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region> . You can keep
the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to
a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or
tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
:hmmm::hmmm: