wbreitman
02-02-2009, 07:15 PM
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The
IRS auditor was not surprised when
Grandpa shows up with his attorney.
The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain
by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that
believable."
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a
demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye."
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor
now realizes he has wagered and lost
three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get
nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks "I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of
your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a
drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream
reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all
over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me
twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over
your desk and that you'd be happy about
it."
:wink::wink:
W
IRS auditor was not surprised when
Grandpa shows up with his attorney.
The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain
by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that
believable."
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a
demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye."
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor
now realizes he has wagered and lost
three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get
nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks "I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of
your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a
drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream
reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all
over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me
twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over
your desk and that you'd be happy about
it."
:wink::wink:
W