I see and talk to about fifty people everyday. The first thing out of my mouth is “are you having a nice day”? For the most part all but one is having a fantastic day. But… That one who is not having a good day, what do you say to cheer that person up? What does work unsurpassed to do this trick? I use almost every feature of my vocabulary to achieve this remote and sometimes undermining thought pattern to cheer people up. Undermining that really bad day and enlightening someone at every turn is important to me and I cannot go without trying! What do you do if you ask and someone tells you they are not having a wonderful day? I really use an arsenal of abilities but could and alwayz would use more if I had them at my disposal and am more than curious what the rest of the world does. I have had a few bad dayz in my life, probably not more than I can count on one hand, I am blessed! I think in return for being blessed I am obligated to help people have a better day when they are down. What work miracles for you?
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Lorrie
12-11-2008, 10:30 AM
Mykil
I think for some they are just telling you they are great but don't really mean it.
Occasionally some people are honest to you when they say they are great.
I mean what is it really to you if they are happy as a lark as you are or not?...soon as they walk out the door the next person walks in and if they are happy and chat you up you soon forget all about the person having the bad day and moments ago you wanted to try to cheer them up...
When someone asks me how I am doing or how am I, I just find it polite to say I am fine, or I am great or somesuch even though I am having the worst time of my life. Usually my reply is "Good, and you?"
Because I have had experiences that when I was upset or sad about something and told someone, that asked how come.. I may get it off my chest and that is all that comes of it. There is really nothing anyone can or usually willing to do to fix any given problem...because it's yours.
Or there's a I'm sorry you are having it rough.(I have even had the experience of starting to tell someone and talk about it, and they just see someone else and walk away while I am in the middle of a sentence)
Usually no one wants to hear if you are having it bad, because like you, it makes the person asking to feel obligated to try to cheer you up.
In fact the only person that can make you happy is you.
So there is no cure maybe a temporary appeasement to talk to someone who is in a better mood than you sometimes it can rub off.
(course...if I came in to your store and you asked me how I was and I said I am very sad today. And you said how can I make you feel better I would say.
"How about if you gave me that armore for free?!" Ha ha (Just kidding. it is beautiful but I have no place to put it)).
I would like to hear what others say on this topic though.
I see and talk to about fifty people everyday. The first thing out of my mouth is “are you having a nice day”? For the most part all but one is having a fantastic day. But… That one who is not having a good day, what do you say to cheer that person up? What does work unsurpassed to do this trick? I use almost every feature of my vocabulary to achieve this remote and sometimes undermining thought pattern to cheer people up. Undermining that really bad day and enlightening someone at every turn is important to me and I cannot go without trying! What do you do if you ask and someone tells you they are not having a wonderful day? I really use an arsenal of abilities but could and alwayz would use more if I had them at my disposal and am more than curious what the rest of the world does. I have had a few bad dayz in my life, probably not more than I can count on one hand, I am blessed! I think in return for being blessed I am obligated to help people have a better day when they are down. What work miracles for you?
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mykil
12-11-2008, 01:00 PM
Ohhh Lorrie my lovely lady; the mentality is the true essence that we are trying to achieve here. I can see past pretty much anyone’s ploy. There is no reason to fib. This is a simple task for me. If someone tells me they are having a good day and really are not I can feel them. I mean really feel them! There is no hiding what so ever when you come into my elementary environment my lady. And it is important, really important! More significant than pretty much everything in my day! My life is simple enough and routine as all hell. The only thing that really sinks in is the contact and concept of other people. The one’s that are troubles are really the ones that truly need our support. I have become sort of a bartender spirit at times I think. People come to me when they are troubled and tell me there stories. I have come to be here for people totally! I have alwayz been this way, so It is beyond important to me to cheer someone up. I have decided a long time ago to be as good at something as I can be soooo I am good at everything I do. Soo when I am trying to help someone I give it my all!!!
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All I have in this life is to help others become happy, a where of others , and to see things in a better light! Narcissism is a lonely angry ugly way of life, but you would be surprised how many truly have no idea they have chosen this path!<o:p></o:p>
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Lorrie
12-11-2008, 01:07 PM
Ohhh Lorrie my lovely lady; the mentality is the true essence that we are trying to achieve here. I can see past pretty much anyone’s ploy. There is no reason to fib. This is a simple task for me. If someone tells me they are having a good day and really are not I can feel them. I mean really feel them! There is no hiding what so ever when you come into my elementary environment my lady. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Okay then if that is true, tell me this...when I came to your shop briefly yesterday...was I having a good day or a bad one? Was I in a good mood or bad?
mykil
12-11-2008, 01:39 PM
The simplest minds are the easiest to read my lady! Lorrie my love I would assume you would not like me to pick apart your life in a public place so I won’t! I will tell you I had wished I had had more time to spend with you my lady!
Lorrie
12-11-2008, 01:45 PM
The simplest minds are the easiest to read my lady! Lorrie my love I would assume you would not like me to pick apart your life in a public place so I won’t! I will tell you I had wished I had had more time to spend with you my lady!
WHAT??? My mind is NOT simple, my friend. But you did not answer my question. I did not ask you to pick apart my life. I only asked if I was in a good mood or bad, regardless of how I said I was...
What say you? Good day or bad? Oh almighty mykil...:heart:
Sylph
12-11-2008, 04:54 PM
WHAT??? My mind is NOT simple, my friend. But you did not answer my question. I did not ask you to pick apart my life. I only asked if I was in a good mood or bad, regardless of how I said I was...
What say you? Good day or bad? Oh almighty mykil...:heart:
Simple minded! You were joking, right, Mykil. I didn't see your LMAO after that remark!
I think the only thing that would make someone feel better, presuming they want help from a stranger, would be to just listen. Really listen. Not suggest solutions, joke, flirt, etc, etc. Do some therapeutic listening. May take awhile if that person is really having a bad day, week or year!
mykil
12-11-2008, 05:03 PM
Of course was teasing, I made that joke up myself and use it when ever the opportunity presents itself! LMAO!! There satisfied?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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Hot Compost
12-11-2008, 05:41 PM
Are you asking friends these questions or people at work ?
I asked a writer acquaintance about his experience in corporate America. He said it was "full of desperation & false heartiness".
Since 9-11 & the start of the Iraq War, you get ahead in corporate America not just by supporting the war. You get ahead by supporting the war with alacrity, sort of synonymous with cheerfulness.
The cheerful support of Bush & the Iraq War makes me puke green ... metaphorically speaking.
Ask the question in the workplace, you get one answer. Ask it when you have time to de-compress in Ragle Park, you get another answer.
I observe that one of things that limits progressives is their need to stick to "cheerful stuff". So much of what goes on in the world is not in the category of cheerful stuff. We accept it, grapple with it, come to peace with it, & we find creative ways to make incremental progress.
I'm not saying that Bush supporting Christians who think the man is "pro-life" are any more realistic, and some of them are the most cheerful supporters of America's destruction of the Mid-East.
I see and talk to about fifty people everyday. The first thing out of my mouth is “are you having a nice day”? For the most part all but one is having a fantastic day. But… That one who is not having a good day, what do you say to cheer that person up?<o:p></o:p>
MsTerry
12-11-2008, 09:43 PM
No, not satisfied.
AM I HAVIN A GOOD DAY YET?
Of course was teasing, I made that joke up myself and use it when ever the opportunity presents itself! LMAO!! There satisfied?<o:p></o:p>
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mykil
12-12-2008, 08:17 AM
When you ask, when do I ask, it is when people are becoming de-compressed. They drive here for one particular reason, to get fuel logs for their fire, so by the time they get here they have had time to sit and think about their day for a good while. It is sort of sublime most of the time. Most people you can tell are just coming out of hyper- cosmic surrealism that driving in a vehicle grants. There for the question is a first response to what they are truly feeling. It doesn’t even catch them by surprise. They already know the answer due to the time spent in their car! I get what you are saying though for sure different times in peoples lives you will truly get a different response! For the most part the responses I am gathering are true real and well thought out even before the question has been asked soooooo… <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Are you asking friends these questions or people at work ?
I asked a writer acquaintance about his experience in corporate America. He said it was "full of desperation & false heartiness".
Since 9-11 & the start of the Iraq War, you get ahead in corporate America not just by supporting the war. You get ahead by supporting the war with alacrity, sort of synonymous with cheerfulness.
The cheerful support of Bush & the Iraq War makes me puke green ... metaphorically speaking.
Ask the question in the workplace, you get one answer. Ask it when you have time to de-compress in Ragle Park, you get another answer.
I observe that one of things that limits progressives is their need to stick to "cheerful stuff". So much of what goes on in the world is not in the category of cheerful stuff. We accept it, grapple with it, come to peace with it, & we find creative ways to make incremental progress.
I'm not saying that Bush supporting Christians who think the man is "pro-life" are any more realistic, and some of them are the most cheerful supporters of America's destruction of the Mid-East.
mykil
12-12-2008, 08:19 AM
No, not satisfied.
AM I HAVIN A GOOD DAY YET?
May you be able to afford a nice day this week or soemtime soon?
pjpete
01-08-2009, 11:52 AM
I.m not having a bad day...:wink: However, if someone I know, or encountered, where having a bad day, I would support them with just being there, listening, and being non-judgmental about their particular bad day, or any particular situation/s that lead to this particular bad day. Giving advices is not always necessary. I find it better to just be there in a supportive, caring, understanding way. Sometimes that's all one needs.....:yinyang:
Zeno Swijtink
01-08-2009, 12:22 PM
I am reading a book on happiness titled The How of Happiness. I am scanning it for some good exercises and training practices for my class on creative and critical thinking. The website is here (https://chass.ucr.edu/faculty_book/lyubomirsky/) and on Google Books, where you can read the book, it's here (https://books.google.com/books?id=dqQwhLVZCTEC&printsec=frontcover&dq=%22The+How+of+Happiness%22&lr=&num=100&as_brr=0&as_pt=ALLTYPES#PPA30,M1).
You can actively lower the number of bad days in the year!
laughing.linda
01-15-2009, 10:36 AM
Most people use How Are You as Hello and I find that tiresome.
I tend to blurt out whatever is on my little mind when asked that question.
It definitely disconcerts them when I'm NOT thrilled with my reality.
(A case of too much information, I'm working on either not doing it or
the alternate of not judging myself for it. I mean, maybe my letter carrier IS fascinated that I'm extremely pissed off at my boyfriend in that moment, but I doubt it!)
I guess I think they should think before they ask, now that's funny!
Yep, as a previous post suggested, listening is lovely.
by the way, feeling quite happy at the moment :):
love that you mean it when you ask
linda
mykil
01-15-2009, 05:04 PM
Hmmmm your welcome! I do know a lady in particular I have known for nine years now. I really think she is adorable and alwayz ask her how she is every time I see her. Now over nine years I have probably seen her around a hundred times, every time I ask she has had something traumatically wrong with her health. I never ever said a word about this just gave her support, love, kindness, hugs, even empathy toward her situation.
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Just last week she walks in and I ask how she is doing and “BAM” she knocks me over, she is feeling wonderful and in love! Hmmm in love, great Hmmmmmmmmmmm! Just a few dayz before I am seriously thinking of buying her Eckhart Tolle’s a new earth and I tell her this in no uncertain terms! She is all for it but cannot understand what I am talking about when I tell her this is the first time she ever responded toward being happy and had faith in life itself and was happy even with my presumptions that she was alwayz ill willed toward life. I was thrilled to get a message across. Today she came in and I ask, she started to say she was ill but thought it thru and backed right out of the scenario she had come accustom to, Althou I am not sure she will ever get to be truly happy, I am hoping it was a large start and I am still going to buy her this book as a new beginning!