alone again... [Archive]

mykil

11-13-2008, 04:43 PM

Alone again! I truly have never been alone before. I alwayz have had someone to hang with or a live in roommate or kidz to keep me amused. What shall I manifest this time around? Shall I try and see how far I can make it on my own? BORING! Hmmmmm what will she look like? What style of clothing shall she wear? Will she be short or tall? Will she wander very far? Will she be just what I need, not another learning experience I alwayz seem to seed? How will I know? I am pretty sure the evolution will provide and of course you all know I don’t even care as long as it is good energy for all concerned!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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Finding a lover or lovers has never been a difficult task for me. AS a matter of fact I have just alwayz taken it for granted and never paid much attention to my own needs. What do I truly desired in a companion? I do have an idea, just not sure if it is real or will hold true to my way of thinking, presuming she even exists to begin with! True love may be hard to find because we are all caught up in our own little worlds and never truly imagining what we really need, want, or desire. I have a list! Manifesting a truly amazing woman that fits the bill probably will be easier said than done for me. I am not truly a fanatic that has to have things just so. Just my own way!!! <o:p></o:p>
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Are there things that I find in a woman that truly are turn-ons to me? There really are not limits to this question. The amazing task at hand is she must be free enough to understand that I love to flirt and will flirt with everyone at any given moment in time soooo… As long as she may understand I am hers and she is mine who cares who we flirt with? I have a few friends that are in need on occasion and drop in to see me just for cheering up purposes and to leave with a smile. Just friends yet friends I have no intentions on giving up or turning my back on! My most recent encounter was something along the lines of “Mykil, you may only date poly bi woman from now on” Now I would never hold anyone to those terms or conditions but you might get better meaning of my friends!<o:p></o:p>
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Things that need to be addressed? If I have to use my own made up words, such as Hyper- critical, dinglehopper, or a large number of others describing you more than once a week it probably won’t work out!<o:p></o:p>
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If you are afraid to be seen with me in public, get lost, if I am afraid to be seen with you in a public place, forgive me! I will work on my ethics, still it won’t work! <o:p></o:p>
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I tend to fall in head over heels and am really into the person I am pursuing, I love to be in deep when it comes to romance, so if you are not into me as much as I am into you. Then no, it won’t work for more than a quick fling! <o:p></o:p>
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I am extremely good at what I do so just be warned if you are not good you will soon be… Don’t be scared… <o:p></o:p>
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Although I am all around and everywhere all at once I am an extremely private person in my own home. I am betting not more than one or two of you actually know where I live, I like it this way. My home is a sacred sanctuary and will remain this way!<o:p></o:p>
I know that I will probably never find what I am looking for here on Wacco, most of you that read this will already know what and whom I really am, just a little manifesto to start my new found freedom, and work on getting myself up to speed to start over and on with this life and into the next! Day to day living in the moment. Not really thinking too much about what will be next more on the lines of just living, breathing and really being in the moment! <o:p></o:p>
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Oh ya and I am really cute! PEACE!<o:p></o:p>
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Oh and if you need any more info MzT. Or any other number of people around this joint will be sure to chime in and give all kinds of free advice for dating the Myk…<o:p></o:p>

shellebelle

11-13-2008, 06:33 PM

Hehehehe Your home is a sacred sanctuary - now! I am going to hold you to this!!!!

And yes Poly women! I am so sick of the cheating on both sides! BAD Karma! And women, please, whose husbands/spouses/lovers KNOW they are poly!!! Not that the ones whose spouses don't know aren't nice women but honesty is really a nice energy!

I have a few friends that are in need on occasion and drop in to see me just for cheering up purposes and to leave with a smile. Just friends yet friends I have no intentions on giving up or turning my back on! My most recent encounter was something along the lines of “Mykil, you may only date poly bi woman from now on” Now I would never hold anyone to those terms or conditions but you might get better meaning of my friends!<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>My home is a sacred sanctuary and will remain this way!<o:p></o:p>

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MsTerry

11-13-2008, 09:07 PM

LMAO
you THINK you're going to be alone?
You just got a grand child,
It won't be long before the figure out the free babysitter is in Forestville.

Tinque

11-13-2008, 11:05 PM

Mykil.. One thing is you are not alone.. You have a new grandbaby and alot of REAL friends, like me , whom adore you ! I hope that you know how much I appreciate you , your cander , your , YOU ! Maybe it is time to just ENJOY you for a while ! I will help ... :fairy::fairy:

nurturetruth

11-14-2008, 11:14 AM

Msterry is onto something i think mykil regarding the baby sitting job.

And as you probably already know... many women get 'soft' and are attracted to a guy holding a cute baby.

When these women find out you are not the father but baby sittin' and being grandpops... they might even get your number !!!

The only other young good lookin' "grandfather" i have met besides you is my grandfather...

LMAO
you THINK you're going to be alone?
You just got a grand child,
It won't be long before the figure out the free babysitter is in Forestville.

Lorrie

11-17-2008, 10:50 AM

I think this is very interesting Mykil...

IMHO:I think you think too much from the man's phyche.

You would do well to do some serious investigation into a woman's phyche... you know put yourself in their place...try to understand how we think.

Here is a good site: www.askmen.com (https://www.askmen.com)

I think that if you did, you would find that most normal women do not think like that.

And I wanna wish you a whole lotta luck finding one...

mykil

11-17-2008, 11:28 AM

Oh come on now Lushous Lorrie! You know I may act all like I know everything and am really full of myself, but that just scares the hell out of me. Soemthings are best left to the imagination my lady!!! LMAO!!!

I think this is very interesting Mykil...

IMHO:I think you think too much from the man's phyche.

You would do well to do some serious investigation into a woman's phyche... you know put yourself in their place...try to understand how we think.

Here is a good site: www.askmen.com (https://www.askmen.com)

I think that if you did, you would find that most normal women do not think like that.

And I wanna wish you a whole lotta luck finding one...

shellebelle

11-17-2008, 11:32 AM

Ummm Can you help me understand what you are saying?

I don't know if I guessed correctly and I am guessing here but I must go on, LOL!

I don't think Mykil is looking for anything unreasonable. He wants someone who understands him and can mesh in his life and him into hers while still maintaining independence and sense of self while being totally accepting of being loved and loving.

I love his psyche and I don't find it typical or overly male in many ways.

I think this is very interesting Mykil...

IMHO:I think you think too much from the man's phyche.

You would do well to do some serious investigation into a woman's phyche... you know put yourself in their place...try to understand how we think.

Here is a good site: www.askmen.com (https://www.askmen.com)

I think that if you did, you would find that most normal women do not think like that.

And I wanna wish you a whole lotta luck finding one...

Sylph

11-17-2008, 02:32 PM

I don't think Mykil is looking for anything unreasonable. He wants someone who understands him and can mesh in his life and him into hers while still maintaining independence and sense of self while being totally accepting of being loved and loving.

Is this accurate Mykil? You want a special lover/partner/soulmate to spend most of your time with and really commit to. You also want the freedom to 'date' many women, whenever the opportunity presents itself. (Correct me if I'm misreading you!) As Lorrie says, good luck with that! Most of us women want a monogamous love relationship, don't we? How does that whole 'poly' thing work for people? Sexual jealousy is hardwired into us, even if we want to be 'open minded'. Open relationships are fraught with disaster, I would imagine, with hearts being broken and people getting really angry!

shellebelle

11-17-2008, 02:46 PM

I am not hardwired to jealousy. Treat my men with respect and I share them beyond willingly! Hell - I promote them!

I haven't had my heart broken yet and in fact it's great.

Might read "The Ethical Slut" and get a feel for it.

Not everyone can "do" poly it's true. But if it's prorgammed into it's great.

I guess I would ask

Is cheating healthy? Cause I think that Mykil has been in many monogamous relationships and never stopped flirting and never been monogamous either. So why not be open and honest. Why build a relationship on lies when you know you can't live within the other persons boundaries and will cheat? Seems honesty first even if it takes longer to find a woman. I have many men avoid the needy ones and you'll not have too many problems. But that's true in dating too.

Is this accurate Mykil? You want a special lover/partner/soulmate to spend most of your time with and really commit to. You also want the freedom to 'date' many women, whenever the opportunity presents itself. (Correct me if I'm misreading you!) As Lorrie says, good luck with that! Most of us women want a monogamous love relationship, don't we? How does that whole 'poly' thing work for people? Sexual jealousy is hardwired into us, even if we want to be 'open minded'. Open relationships are fraught with disaster, I would imagine, with hearts being broken and people getting really angry!

Sylph

11-17-2008, 03:13 PM

Shelley, I respect you for being honest and believe that you can make it work for you and your partner/s. I just think that if I was single and a guy came along (even a 'really cute guy') and said he really loved me but was up-front and said that I wasn't going to be the only one...it would be a big turn-off! A woman has to be very secure with herself to be OK with that, a guy, too. Frankly, I think you are one in a million, but I don't have the stats on that.

shellebelle

11-17-2008, 03:26 PM

Thank you!

I don't think I am one in a million since I knwo many other woman just as secure. And I am sure you are right in that the couple must be secure.

I just also think his honesty is best. It feels really ugly when one isn't honest about ones truth. I love that he's honest. I know where Mykil stands. Then I get to make choices based on my truth and with full knowledge of his. No cheating or dishonesty. I appreciate that. On the other hand when he tells me the rules of other people then expects me to play uhhhhh "no". LOL Not my game, not my rules, I don't want to play! What fun is playing a game you have to cheat to win at? Why not change the rules! LOL!

Shelley, I respect you for being honest and believe that you can make it work for you and your partner/s. I just think that if I was single and a guy came along (even a 'really cute guy') and said he really loved me but was up-front and said that I wasn't going to be the only one...it would be a big turn-off! A woman has to be very secure with herself to be OK with that, a guy, too. Frankly, I think you are one in a million, but I don't have the stats on that.

Tinque

11-17-2008, 10:51 PM

I personally think that we are all , all alone , and that if we embrace that and nurture ourselves, then we will have stregnth for others. We can all feel lonely, with or without a partner. I am thinking our goal should be, one huge embrace from everyone ,at anytime, anywhere.. We all cry and all get angry and all feel intense love at times.. We are HUMAN.. I personally wish I was a cat.. I could curl up in ones lap , be fed , loved unconditionally, petted, stroked , brushed , and talked to with complete admiration.. I would definetely be purring ! :dancing2:

mykil

11-18-2008, 08:52 AM

wunda

11-18-2008, 09:21 AM

My question is:

Is polyamory viewed as some sort of enlightened state of romance or is it an excuse to sleep around?

On the one hand, it seems sort of like an idealized hedonism, and that definitely has its points

But I wunda, how is the intimacy? not the sex. The time where you lay in one another's arms and look deeply into one another's eyes. Where exchanging that deep knowing of desire, pleasure, need, promise and understanding is done... How is that done with more than one person?

For me, I choose not separate carnal pleasure from my emotions. There are wonderful delicious strings for the one i choose to be intimate with (when i do) and there should be for him as well. I am lousy at the FWB thing anyhow. Is this the way the world of intimacy is headed?

Mykil are you responsible for this? LOL I do love reading this thread!

shellebelle

11-18-2008, 12:37 PM

Depends on the person I am with honestly.

I am "body fluid bonded" to two men. For me everything about those encounters tends to be powerful and in one case a true "merge" the other has moved from long standing lovers to friends with benefits but unbonding doesn't feel good so we remain bonded.

Others are not so much of a merge but on the other hand I have one lover who talking and cuddling, snuggling is the relationship. It is emotionally amazing and warm. It is not about sex but about each other.

I love spending time talking, embraced, emotional vulnerable. I have to admit though I am learning I can't do that with every lover.

My question is:

Is polyamory viewed as some sort of enlightened state of romance or is it an excuse to sleep around?

On the one hand, it seems sort of like an idealized hedonism, and that definitely has its points

But I wunda, how is the intimacy? not the sex. The time where you lay in one another's arms and look deeply into one another's eyes. Where exchanging that deep knowing of desire, pleasure, need, promise and understanding is done... How is that done with more than one person?

For me, I choose not separate carnal pleasure from my emotions. There are wonderful delicious strings for the one i choose to be intimate with (when i do) and there should be for him as well. I am lousy at the FWB thing anyhow. Is this the way the world of intimacy is headed?

Mykil are you responsible for this? LOL I do love reading this thread!

mykil

11-18-2008, 12:50 PM

Last night I pulled out my oils, placed my home made redwood easel next to my computer in my living room facing my TV, now I can see all three, so as to start a wondrous winter all by my lonesome, in my cave, on a hill, in the trees, in the woods. Sitting painting next to a warm fire does it for me. I went into the closet and pulled out my trunk and found all my brushes, I have many, a hundred atleast, these have been sitting in seclusion with no one to forward there beauty upon a canvas in years. I have been neglecting my duties as an artist to these little brushes knowing someday soon I would, still the time never seemed right with children under foot running about and never having a moment of peace to myself. This is what I think I am after for a while! Will I get it? Who knows, I am content in my life as of now. I am alwayz content though, so what is the difference? Is there a difference? Not really, I am connected at the hip with the conscience community at hand every step of my life and this is important to me. I am transparent to you all, yet my own evolution is a little elusive even to me! I am thinking it is good things I have do not put much stock into worrying to the extent that some seem to! I am really in no hurry to find a soul mate or a new live in roommate this is for sure. Dating and entertaining a few friends now and again seems appealing to me. Till one day someone with such a strong need will appear with her heart on her sleeve and I will not be able to stop my soul from trying to evolve her and give her the support she needs, all along knowing I will br4ak her heart, and mine. IT will only be a matter of time… This is my pattern and I know it will. Should I evolve and try the poly routine that some many adhere to? Should I stop myself from saving the next poor soul that walks into my life and has the over powering sensation that has the need that can stop a train? Hmmm only time will tell. In the mean time I will just go on with my life and do what I do best. Maybe paint a picture of a broken heart or of all of us combined as one soul in need of our own … ~P~E~A~C~E~ … ;-{

Lorrie

11-18-2008, 03:51 PM

Well, I can only speak for myself (I guess) but I also can assume I speak for alot of women that are like me. Upon discussions with them and information from the internet and dr phil...

Women are looking for one particular man to devote to; that in her opinion will supply the best seed for offspring, and are wired to be with only that person.

A man is wired to get as many offspring out there as possible in their life times. So the population endures.

Only when a man is absolutely attracted to a woman, will he stay with her.

Least that is MHO, not no phd or ba (or anything else that I should have gotten) here.

Shellbelle, no offense, but I don't get you either...
You and mykil are very definately very different to me in my norm...so to speak.So I suppose you two could understand each other.

And I definately think that everyone is allowed to be who they are and believe what they believe. I am very tolerant that way... Doesn't mean I believe their way. Just believe they believe it...

The way I grew up...
My mom was a waitress and my dad was a mechanic, My dad was the BOSS, and my mom was the mother, cook, laundress, and whatever else kept the unit together. I have two brothers one older and one younger (I was a tomboy) and we lived on a farm. Watched all the "All American Shows of the 60/70/80's" Had meat and potatoes for dinner. And bbq parties with close relatives and friends. Fed the cows, pigs, chickens and dogs...
All in Santa Rosa, CA when all those houses on Peterson lane weren't there...as a matter of fact that is where my long(10acres) dirt driveway to my house was.
I was 10 when they built the houses and we moved to the "city" over on the north side of the freeway by the fairgrounds.

I grew up law: you find a man get married and have children. (That never played out for me, but I don't care)

There never was talk about women with women and men with men and women with more than one man and men with more than one woman while with a particular woman... you know? Although there were stories of married friends' affairs...

Mykil wants a woman to devote to him and he to her while he is flirting an covorting with other women, and he wants the woman to not care. I say good luck with that because Sylph and I and alot of my girlfriends know that is not how women in general think.

You are not a general woman Shelley...You are evolutionated! I guess.

And with the way most of my friends and I go, I wouldn't do it. I know alot of them wouldn't either. They want a man to put every bit of themselves into the relationship as they are. They want a man to help them feel special and be the only one to love. Like its supposed to be. It is hard to be made to feel special if the man is paying attention to a bunch of other women. That will usually just make them feel like the rest...And if the man did think the woman special enough to spend the quality time with than the rest of the women. Wouldn't he want her to know it, feel it?

Women get to do the choosing...we wanna know we made a good choice.

If I chose a man and he didn't feel the same about me I wouldn't be with him...if he wanted others, he should go be with them and leave me out of it. I would be spending most of my time thinking "Oh! I wonder what they're doing tonight?" "I wonder who he is spending MY time with tonight?" That is too much for me I'm out!

That is pretty much where I am coming from...I know I am probably kind of an "old fashioned hick". But that's okay cause I did recently make a choice and it is recipricated with the same mentality, so I am happy.

Ummm Can you help me understand what you are saying?

I don't know if I guessed correctly and I am guessing here but I must go on, LOL!

I don't think Mykil is looking for anything unreasonable. He wants someone who understands him and can mesh in his life and him into hers while still maintaining independence and sense of self while being totally accepting of being loved and loving.

I love his psyche and I don't find it typical or overly male in many ways.

shellebelle

11-18-2008, 04:12 PM

Other than the line quoted I think you made the right choice for you.

I appreciate your thinking I am evolved in some way. I don't think I am I think I just love to share. I just don't share beyond dresses with my girlfriends I share men. It's an amazing freedom. It's like having a library account of men with references and reviews!!! I sooo love it!

Like its supposed to be.

Lorrie

11-18-2008, 04:39 PM

Well yes, and that is how other women would choose for themselves. Most all that I know anyway.

I knew you would have issue with the "How it is supposed to be" I kinda did too, but that is the conditioning I had growing up...That is how it is supposed to be...Was how it was. I still think it is how it is supposed to be. But I understand that you don't.
And that's okay with me.

Other than the line quoted I think you made the right choice for you.

I appreciate your thinking I am evolved in some way. I don't think I am I think I just love to share. I just don't share beyond dresses with my girlfriends I share men. It's an amazing freedom. It's like having a library account of men with references and reviews!!! I sooo love it!

Sylph

11-18-2008, 05:45 PM

Mykil,
When you have painted a few masterpieces out there in your lonely solitude...
and get bored, I think you should look into being a:

Biblical patriarch (lots of wives and concubines)
Rock star (all the women you want) or
Cult leader (they seem to have lots of women and sleeping with the leader is a religious experience)...all you need is a walled compound and some sort of compelling philosophy, like 'Evolution through breaking the bubbles of your boundaries!'

hales

11-18-2008, 11:08 PM

I salute you, Shellebelle, for your honesty, self-confidence, and integrity.

I will throw in my opinion, and say that I think that honesty is more important than monogamy, as long as everyone involved accepts responsibility for their own choices to be in or out of the shared relationship.. and everyone is mature and strong enough to carry that responsibility. (no abusive use of age, status, power, wealth, etc..)

That being said, I think that (for me!), having multiple (sexual) partners tends to increase all the variables and thus makes relationship more complicated and fraught with problems.

However, if I wanted to have multiple partners, I would much prefer to be honest and above board, if at all possible. I did some of that in my twenties, and did not feel good about the repercussions, but probably there was not equal agreement about the "terms of engagement". ; / Maybe not full honesty, in a mature, responsible sense.

I am exploring some of these issues, currently, not that I am practicing polyamory in the sexual sense, but I am expanding my ability to be in relationship with more people, which is stretching my my own ability to be unattached, (not be dependent or needy), as well as to enjoy being with more people, while remaining responsible in my primary relationship. (ie: honest and in integrity; (so far, our agreement is that we don't have sex with anyone else, without telling the other partner). My own tendency is to be more "romantic" and monogamous, although it has turned out that I am generally a serial-monogamist, as my old model hasn't worked out that well, long term. (by romantic, I think I mean sort of an idealized, and not terribly realistic view of love, relationship, commitment.. one that has been hard to live up to, for even me!) I have been in some longer term relationships, including a marriage. My current sweetie is younger and we've been sort of on and off and on.. for about 3 years. She's more independent, generally, but I am trying to find more balance in that equation. I'm exploring getting more of my intimacy needs met outside my primary relationship, through weekly dance, social activities, friendships, etc.

I like to flirt, have deep conversations and even physical affection with various people, but I guess my need for sexual intimacy is not so strong that I am strongly drawn to multiple parnters.

Thanks again, for all your honest communication; it's refreshing! ; )

Scott.

Thank you!

I don't think I am one in a million since I know many other woman just as secure. And I am sure you are right in that the couple must be secure.

I just also think his honesty is best. It feels really ugly when one isn't honest about ones truth. I love that he's honest. I know where Mykil stands. Then I get to make choices based on my truth and with full knowledge of his. No cheating or dishonesty. I appreciate that. On the other hand when he tells me the rules of other people then expects me to play uhhhhh "no". LOL Not my game, not my rules, I don't want to play! What fun is playing a game you have to cheat to win at? Why not change the rules! LOL!

Tinque

11-18-2008, 11:39 PM

:hello: I just want to express my love to ALL of you !:hello::fairy::fairy:

constantconnection

11-20-2008, 12:13 AM

Hey there, Tinque!

You go, girl. Thanks so much for your ever-valuable contributions to WACCOBB threads.

As for you, Mykil, picture this:

A woman places a personal ad, looking for a man, saying she wants everything her own way, on her own terms, as do you. She expects you to not only tolerate but enjoy her flirting with every other man in sight.

Tell us all, honestly, if you were really, truly, deeply, arduously, fanatically head over heels in love with this woman and it was her and her alone for you not only for right now but from hereon through eternity, just how, exactly, would you feel about her spending a significant amount of her time coming on to other men in your presence in order to boost her ego and her sense of worth and her sense of being able to arouse (i.e. control) other men?

Can you honestly say you want this equal of yours -- a woman who insists on having things her own way in total disregard and disrespect of what you want and what is important to you? Can you honestly say you want this equal of yours -- a woman who openly gets aroused by and gets an ego boost from flirting with other men right in front of you by turning them on sexually by very cheap and easy means?

Is that what you get off on? No judgment call on my part, but how about being honest with all of us. Is that what you get off on? You getting off on blatantly flirting with other women and turning them on right in front of the woman you love, and insisting on having everything in your relationship on entirely your own terms, and being involved with a woman who likewise gets off on flirting with other men and turning them on right in front of you and insisting on having everything in your relationship on entirely her own terms.

Sounds like a match made in heaven to me. Go for it! And please do let us know how it all turns out! We'll all be absolutely dying to hear!

wunda

11-20-2008, 12:48 AM

Hmmm some replies sound like ringing endorsements for Mykil and others... not so much. so Ladies, tell the truth... would you set a friend up with him?

shellebelle

11-20-2008, 07:37 AM

I would have no problem playing wingman to Mykil.

But the question was "would you set a friend up with him?"- some of my friend yes - others no. But if I changed that question slightly it would be yes - everyone of them. "Would you introduce a friend to him?"

The first question feels like I would have to know both well enough to feel safe in the set up on both sides. I have many friends I wouldn't date and I certainly wouldn't want Mykil to either! I have friends who range the line and go from "uhhh no!" to "oh yes!" The second question is simply connecting two friends and what they do together is their doing. As long as truth is the basis then I am good have at it!

Hmmm some replies sound like ringing endorsements for Mykil and others... not so much. so Ladies, tell the truth... would you set a friend up with him?

shellebelle

11-20-2008, 07:54 AM

Hmmmm You paint an interesting picture.

Not particularly a healthy one though. Let me paint the truth as I know it.

Mykil and I flirt in front my spouses all the time. Geeze if I don't have a conversation hugging Mykil or from within Mykil's arms when he's around my domestic partner asks if we've had a fight. It's a norm; my norm and my core family loves Mykil. They trust him implicitly. If I could give that to every female friend I have I would.

I have never felt like Mykil flirted to turn anyone on but me. I have always gotten the concept, feeling, message that for that brief little moment in time I am not mom, wife, spouse, employee, employer or anything else. I am but woman. Desired, wanted, appreciated, hugged, held, cherished; as woman. If I could give that to every female friend I have I would.

If Mykil's message to the female world is simply "YOU are woman; desired, wanted, appreciated, hugged, held, cherished; as woman." It is the most blessed message anyone has sent to us. It's perfect in its passion and in its need to be said and heard. If I could give that to every female friend I have I would.

:2cents:

That's how I see it.

So yeh I do enjoy introducing people to Mykil and most enjoy flirting with him as much as I do.

Hey there, Tinque!

You go, girl. Thanks so much for your ever-valuable contributions to WACCOBB threads.

As for you, Mykil, picture this:

A woman places a personal ad, looking for a man, saying she wants everything her own way, on her own terms, as do you. She expects you to not only tolerate but enjoy her flirting with every other man in sight.

Tell us all, honestly, if you were really, truly, deeply, arduously, fanatically head over heels in love with this woman and it was her and her alone for you not only for right now but from hereon through eternity, just how, exactly, would you feel about her spending a significant amount of her time coming on to other men in your presence in order to boost her ego and her sense of worth and her sense of being able to arouse (i.e. control) other men?

Can you honestly say you want this equal of yours -- a woman who insists on having things her own way in total disregard and disrespect of what you want and what is important to you? Can you honestly say you want this equal of yours -- a woman who openly gets aroused by and gets an ego boost from flirting with other men right in front of you by turning them on sexually by very cheap and easy means?

Is that what you get off on? No judgment call on my part, but how about being honest with all of us. Is that what you get off on? You getting off on blatantly flirting with other women and turning them on right in front of the woman you love, and insisting on having everything in your relationship on entirely your own terms, and being involved with a woman who likewise gets off on flirting with other men and turning them on right in front of you and insisting on having everything in your relationship on entirely her own terms.

Sounds like a match made in heaven to me. Go for it! And please do let us know how it all turns out! We'll all be absolutely dying to hear!

mykil

11-20-2008, 08:53 AM

mykil

11-20-2008, 02:16 PM

sooooo on with the show…as alwayz, to all concerned, today anywayz, and I do mean just for today, cause I am an evolution in progress, this goes without saying, thank you all for being her to witness my evolution!
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Now TheCeCe has brought up a few entertaining questions about my morality that seems to be a concerning image to all women in general. Did I over step my boundaries by listing what my intentions were? What I was after? Or even thinking out loud? Hmmm If I was a woman and listed the same intentions would she have said “you go girl”? This is concerning to me for a few strong reasons. All point to issues that are irrelevant to my particular situation, so I will not go on with that venue!
<o:p></o:p>
But to be honest, when and not if I am head over heels for a women, she is what occupies my whole, my being, my soul, my heart, make no mistake! Speaking of her at every moment in every day I may get away with, emailing her constantly, calling her on her cell just to say hi, even when I am flirting or toying, or laughing and having a good time with a customer or a friend or a stranger at a yard sale it is still all about her make no mistake.
<o:p></o:p>
This is a big, very large part of my personality. It is who I am! Plain and simple I am not going to change, and when someone is with me that adheres to the same personality that I seem to be blessed with mind you, it is all the more compelling. Just ask Tink. When the two of us are together and start flirting or being over zealous in a situation that is overwhelmingly just over the top. The people we are having a blast with have nothing but a pure remissible remarkable scenario they are sure to never forget! This is who we are and putting a joyful expression on another or many others faces in a singe day has to be one of the most joyfulness expressions we can give to the community or the single person that had not laughed or been flirted with in years! Over and over we make people laugh, with the exception of a few that forgot how to laugh, and they can almost crack a smile sometimes on occasion. Hmmmm yes if I was wanting a women that was dry and could not stand in the kitchen due to the heat than I might have stated this in my manifesto yes?
<o:p></o:p>
Anywayz enough of dwelling on this and thank you for getting the much needed mykil bashing out of the way, or you may continue because I love the attention mind you! LOL!
<o:p></o:p>
There are a few things I would love to stress about all of us thou if you can bear to stand more on a few subjects? WE are all in an evolutionary state at all times. What I write, or think, or even looked like last week, is not necessarily the same I am today! Although I will probably never vary from the path of enlightenment I adhere to, this does not mean my thoughts will never change. When I wrote the first part on that day a week or soo ago, I was in a certain state and that was that, where I was at that given time. AS are all of you today, tomorrow will be a new day and thru personal growth, we will all evolve. From this thread, to the way the sun shines in our souls, tomorrow will be a new day and will bring in a new way of thinking. It will probably not vary much, but it will have evolved and will be somewhat different. Some will have a good day while others will have a bad one. I will have a good day, because I alwayz do, No matter what, my day will be good. This is a wondrous way of life and I hope it never changes. I am happy no matter what. So I tend to make people happy around me! If they are in a bad mood when we meet, chances are they will be in a good mood before they depart my company. Atleast they will have smiled and this is what it is all about. If you want to live a plain simple life then this is who you will be. Who am I to try to change this? yet if I can make you smile, I am going to give this a try! By flirting, being sarcastic and cracking a joke, if you are near me you will have evolved and had personal growth. No matter what, so I might try and make this as pleasant as possible ya?
<o:p></o:p>
Anyone can read whatever they want in any scenario, writing, conversation, look, appearance. The vast majority of people I see in a given day, I say the same thing to on any given day “The price for you is ten bucks because you are special”! What does this mean to you? This is as vague and saying the sky is blue everyday of the year! Yet the remarks that come from the thought patterns are amazing to say the least. I say this same thing over and over and have said it ten times today already, if not more. What does this statement leave on the tip of your tongue? It is amazing to me to see words shaped and manipulated to fit ones own true thought pattern, so remarkable that I have to write them down when I hear a phenomenal remark that has a lasting impression on my own cranial cortex. What does that statement mean to you? It is five bucks because you are special? Does it mean I am hitting on you? Does it mean you ride the small bus? Does it make you mad, happy, what?
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I am willing to go deep with anyone at pretty much any given time. I love to be outwitted or try and outwit someone else, anyone. soooo don’t be shy, tell it like you see it, give it your best shot, I would even be open to your trying and change my wayz, anyway of thinking is OK as long as it is appealing and has meat! If you have a comment and would love to share how I should be living my life, feel free. What have you got to lose!
<o:p></o:p>
OK enough already. I need to get some work done and just wanted to vent that is what I do best to ease my daily pent up emotions. Being happy all the time is a tough gig! PEACE!

kltkwmn

11-20-2008, 05:30 PM

I highly, highly recommend reading Jenny Block's book "Open: Love, Sex & Life in an Open Marriage". (https://www.sealpress.com/book.php?isbn=9781580052412)
It is an honest look at one person's experiences with monogamy and heterosexuality- 2 dominant themes in our culture. Think about it: what are all of the soap operas about but NOT being honest and open. That's one place where drama thrives.

constantconnection

11-20-2008, 06:01 PM

OK, OK.

First off, Mykill, you are to be commended for not only being completely honest in your post but also for the fact that you received so many responses to it. And actually, Mykill, I can tell you have a tremendous number of very admirable qualities about you (as I do about me as well if only you knew me better).

Just as you are not the same or thinking the same thoughts as you were last week, I do not think the same thoughts from one day to the next. In fact, I'm thinking about things a bit differently than I was when I wrote the previous post. And please, give me the benefit of the doubt as well in being open to the fact that I am not the person who you seem to think I am based on one post.

One thing I would like to point out however, Mykil, is that for some reason you completely ignored my having commented on your insistence about having everything your own way in a relationship n order to direct your rant solely towards the flirtation thing. If you are perfectly happy having the woman in your life flirt with every guy in sight and it is fun for both of you, it would make me tremendously happy for you both to be happy. So go for it!

All I intended to do was to give you a little perspective on the fact that you are without a woman right now and if you put what you told us about yourself in a personal ad I think a lot of women would be very turned off by your insisting on having everything your own way and flirting with every woman in sight. If you look at those two statements objectively I think you might be able to see how this would be off-putting.

And no, I'm no saying every single woman out there would be put off with these two personality traits, but it seems questionable what type of woman you are going to attract into your life if you say you insist on having everything your own way and flirting with every woman in sight. I'm not making a blanket statement here, but in general I think it is widely accepted from a psychological standpoint that a woman who would be interested in being in a relationship with someone "insists on having everything his own way" (your words, Mykill, which come off as seeming incredibly selfish and self-centered -- and if you were only joking a LOL would have been a handy way of letting other people in on the joke) has a high likelihood of having very low self-esteem, being tremendously submissive and perhaps even emotionally masochistic. But again, I'm sure there are exceptions to this generality, and if that is how both you and she want your relationship to be and it makes you happy, good for you. Happiness is more important than most anything else in life.

If you think I am wrong about these two personality traits of yours being off-putting to the majority of potential enamorees, you can poll around (no pun intended) and I think you'd get a majority consensus at the very least of women who say they would not want to be with a man who insists on having everything his own way and flirts with every woman in sight. Post a poll (and no fair having Friends of Mykill skewing the results) in which you just ask two questions to all the women on the bb with no other verbage or humor in the post, and have them respond with "yes I would like to be involved with a man who insists on having everything his own way and flirts with every woman in sight," or "no I would not like to be with a man like that."

To be absolutely fair, since so many people seem to know you and like you on the bb perhaps this would be better posted by someone else altogether to get the most honest response possible. Just a thought.

What I am really saying is, it might just be something to remember that people do not see your face or your smile or know what a great person you are from reading a post on an internet website – and what is there in black and white is all that they can see. That is why I responded as I did to your post.

But no need to beat the topic to death. Perhaps we can just take all of this in the spirit in which it was intended -- in hopes that if for any reason you don't have scads of women banging on your door when you say you insist on having everything your own way always and flirting with every woman in sight, perhaps you might consider a change. And I am certain that you would consider a change because you seem very open to evolving for the better. That is highly laudable as well.

Before we begin to bore each other to death, how about this: Let’s make peace and be friends. I think we might have a lot of offer to each other -- but most definitely not a relationship! LOL!

constantconnection

mykil

11-20-2008, 06:11 PM

Do you want to get married?

OK, OK.

First off, Mykill, you are to be commended for not only being completely honest in your post but also for the fact that you received so many responses to it. And actually, Mykill, I can tell you have a tremendous number of very admirable qualities about you (as I do about me as well if only you knew me better).

Just as you are not the same or thinking the same thoughts as you were last week, I do not think the same thoughts from one day to the next. In fact, I'm thinking about things a bit differently than I was when I wrote the previous post. And please, give me the benefit of the doubt as well in being open to the fact that I am not the person who you seem to think I am based on one post.

One thing I would like to point out however, Mykil, is that for some reason you completely ignored my having commented on your insistence about having everything your own way in a relationship n order to direct your rant solely towards the flirtation thing. If you are perfectly happy having the woman in your life flirt with every guy in sight and it is fun for both of you, it would make me tremendously happy for you both to be happy. So go for it!

All I intended to do was to give you a little perspective on the fact that you are without a woman right now and if you put what you told us about yourself in a personal ad I think a lot of women would be very turned off by your insisting on having everything your own way and flirting with every woman in sight. If you look at those two statements objectively I think you might be able to see how this would be off-putting.

And no, I'm no saying every single woman out there would be put off with these two personality traits, but it seems questionable what type of woman you are going to attract into your life if you say you insist on having everything your own way and flirting with every woman in sight. I'm not making a blanket statement here, but in general I think it is widely accepted from a psychological standpoint that a woman who would be interested in being in a relationship with someone "insists on having everything his own way" (your words, Mykill, which come off as seeming incredibly selfish and self-centered -- and if you were only joking a LOL would have been a handy way of letting other people in on the joke) has a high likelihood of having very low self-esteem, being tremendously submissive and perhaps even emotionally masochistic. But again, I'm sure there are exceptions to this generality, and if that is how both you and she want your relationship to be and it makes you happy, good for you. Happiness is more important than most anything else in life.

If you think I am wrong about these two personality traits of yours being off-putting to the majority of potential enamorees, you can poll around (no pun intended) and I think you'd get a majority consensus at the very least of women who say they would not want to be with a man who insists on having everything his own way and flirts with every woman in sight. Post a poll (and no fair having Friends of Mykill skewing the results) in which you just ask two questions to all the women on the bb with no other verbage or humor in the post, and have them respond with "yes I would like to be involved with a man who insists on having everything his own way and flirts with every woman in sight," or "no I would not like to be with a man like that."

To be absolutely fair, since so many people seem to know you and like you on the bb perhaps this would be better posted by someone else altogether to get the most honest response possible. Just a thought.

What I am really saying is, it might just be something to remember that people do not see your face or your smile or know what a great person you are from reading a post on an internet website – and what is there in black and white is all that they can see. That is why I responded as I did to your post.

But no need to beat the topic to death. Perhaps we can just take all of this in the spirit in which it was intended -- in hopes that if for any reason you don't have scads of women banging on your door when you say you insist on having everything your own way always and flirting with every woman in sight, perhaps you might consider a change. And I am certain that you would consider a change because you seem very open to evolving for the better. That is highly laudable as well.

Before we begin to bore each other to death, how about this: Let’s make peace and be friends. I think we might have a lot of offer to each other -- but most definitely not a relationship! LOL!

constantconnection

wunda

11-20-2008, 06:34 PM

From private email exchanges with Mykil and what i have read here, I think Mykil needs a woman who will let him pursue her, challenge him and not give him exactly what he wants... just glimpses of it left for a future date.

How many men are like this? who want the challenge, the intrigue, the mystery to solve?

And once he has this woman, the ongoing challenge of keeping it interesting to both then becomes focus. Can the depth that Mykil seeks be found this way? Is Mykil really that deep?

Is my intuition waaay off base here?

Does such a woman exist? And would she want him?

shellebelle

11-20-2008, 06:59 PM

ROFLMAO - What makes you think Mykil is without a woman? He's just happens to be dating versus life partnering.

His idea of alone is that his bed is not guaranteed full every night! That doesn't mean his shop doesn't have a myriad of lovelies haunting it looking for a quick flirt or even a good spank.

Oh and his own way, ROFLMAO. Oh dear, giggles, if you only knew - Mykil has shown me his idea of getting his own way is to give me mine. He gets abundant joy in watching others enjoy. In fact if I had to guess at what turns Mykil on it's giving joy to others. I LOVE this about Mykil.

And NO Mykil despite the fact you and Dave both think he would enjoy a drum set I DO NOT!! NO drum sets! Unless you keep them at your house in which case that's fine!

All I intended to do was to give you a little perspective on the fact that you are without a woman right now and if you put what you told us about yourself in a personal ad I think a lot of women would be very turned off by your insisting on having everything your own way and flirting with every woman in sight. If you look at those two statements objectively I think you might be able to see how this would be off-putting.

mykil

11-21-2008, 09:44 AM

Oh come now CeCe; oh lets change that name to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on">CoCo</st1:place> more fitting I am thinking! as I was reading over you last reply I noticed something! You asked about wanting things my own way! What up with that? Tell me honestly, why does this bother you soooo? Do you not want things your own way? Do you get things your own way? Come on now tell us the truth, did this little part upset you because you do not want a man to get things his own way because you have to have things your own way? LOL! Just out of mild curiosity mind you, why would you be set against me having my way atleast half of the time? Why would I not want things my own way, and why would this bother you soooo? I am thinking you are a little selfish yourself just by the fact that you settled on this account my lady! LMAO!!! Tell me your thoughts on what I just expressed please!

mykil

11-21-2008, 12:35 PM

All in All Shell is right though! I have to admit, having things my way is a big turn on too me, but what is my way? You would really have to experience this in order for me to elaborate I think. I can try thou! As long as you are happy giggling and have a smile on your face this is my way! Again it is amazing what people red into something, such as the term I would only be happy with a sub! It alwayz amazes me to no ends on what one reads into things! Did I say I was gong to tie you up and really just make you perform for me? When really I am more it just giving and receive and this is really what I want and is my way! My way is the best way! No harm, no unhappiness, I try for pure pleasure and ecstasy! Why would you want it your way when you can have it my way? LMAO!!! PEACE! Who knows? Maybe my way is our way!

constantconnection

11-22-2008, 01:30 AM

Mykil, you are one of the most hilarious people on the face of this entire planet (and don't go taking that the wrong way, too!).

LMAO. ROFLMAO. RMPTQUE (don't try to decipher that, I just threw a bunch of letters together to intentionally perplex you).

cc

Do you want to get married?

constantconnection

11-22-2008, 03:08 AM

Since you specifically asked me for a response to this, Mykil, let's just say "be careful what you ask for!"

Nothing you say "bothers me soooo," anymore at all, Mykil. I am so over it and I think that soon and very soon indeed you shall be, too, if you aren't already which I suspect could very well be the case since we are both evolving at such a fast clip. So let's just move on to more pertinent issues, like the meaning of life.

I think what we are really talking about here is the difference between "getting one's own way" (generally implying selfishness and a have or have not situation) vs. getting what we want by creating that which we desire.

Our purpose here on Earth is to desire things and to then match our vibrational offering (similar to radio signals and encompassing all that we are thinking and feeling) to that which we desire, as one would tune a radio to the frequency of a particular radio station, at which point we attract into our lives that which is equal to our vibrational offering.

We then, if we are open to it, allow nonphysical Source Energy -- which we were to begin with and still are by nature (though currently uniquely experiencing it here on Planet Earth as a physical energy reality within the context of a time-space continuum) to flow to us and through us, bringing into our life that which we desire. We then desire more and create more and manifest more.

Desire and creativity are "it," my new friend. Happiness is the end all and be all, and each and every one of us can achieve this without trampling each other under in a mad stampede. One person's getting what they want does not necessitate someone else not getting what they want. This is absolutely not the case. Being happy does not mean that another person must be sad.

I believe this is all merely a matter of semantics. Wanting to have things "one's own way" implies that one "gets one's own way" at the expense of someone else's needs and desires. There is no need for selfishness at all. Selfishness implies that one does not truly believe one can create whatever one desires.

Do I want things my own way? No. In fact, when I think about the one I love I would never want things my own way. Nor does he ever want things his own way. Selfishness is not a part of the equation whatsoever. The exact opposite is true. I never would or could impede the one I love from creating that which he desires, nor would or could he ever impede me in creating that which I desire. I support him in his highest aspirations as he supports me in my highest aspirations. I firmly believe, as did Ayn Rand, that the only influence we should be imposing upon one another's lives is to support each other in our highest aspirations.

What one wants cannot be dependent upon one specific person or situation. Each of us creating that which we desire cannot be dependent upon any one person because we cannot control other people. Two people are together because that is what they both desire. And if they both desire to be together forever they will. And if one person changes their mind it does not exclude the other person from being together forever with someone, they just need seek on further and they will create that which they desire back into their life.

Do I get things my own way? That, again, implies selfishness and stems from a belief that only one person gets their own way and the other does not when in fact everyone can get everything they want. I don't get what I want at the expense of others. Rather, I create that which I desire, as can and should everyone else on the planet.

If some people are into creating negativity at this point in time it doesn't necessitate that we allow them to control us and create negativity in our lives unless we allow them to do so by not taking part in deliberate creation of that which we want in our lives. Just as we cannot control others, nor can we -- if we are actively participating in deliberate creation of that which we desire -- be controlled by others (unless it is our desire to do so).

I am not the least bit selfish or petty. I cannot emphasize that enough. I hope this doesn't take all the fun out of all of it for you, Mykil. I am incredibly nurturing and supportive. I am an incredibly happy person. I am living an amazing, incredible, extraordinary life.

And I am beginning to realize, Mykil, that you are an incredibly happy person and are probably living an amazing, incredible, extraordinary life as well.

So what shall we talk about now that we have left all of the dramatic conflict behind in the dust? How about some knock-knock jokes!

Knock knock.

Who's there.

Amos.

Amos who?

A mosquito bit me.

Knock knock.

Who's there.

Andy.

Andy who?

And he bit me again!

Yours truly,

cc

Oh come now CeCe; oh lets change that name to <st1:place w:st="on">CoCo</st1:place> more fitting I am thinking! as I was reading over you last reply I noticed something! You asked about wanting things my own way! What up with that? Tell me honestly, why does this bother you soooo? Do you not want things your own way? Do you get things your own way? Come on now tell us the truth, did this little part upset you because you do not want a man to get things his own way because you have to have things your own way? LOL! Just out of mild curiosity mind you, why would you be set against me having my way atleast half of the time? Why would I not want things my own way, and why would this bother you soooo? I am thinking you are a little selfish yourself just by the fact that you settled on this account my lady! LMAO!!! Tell me your thoughts on what I just expressed please!

MsTerry

11-22-2008, 07:23 AM

Thanksalot, Now we got to listen to Mykil's D & A theory again

We then, if we are open to it, allow nonphysical Source Energy -- which we were to begin with and still are by nature (though currently uniquely experiencing it here on Planet Earth as a physical energy reality within the context of a time-space continuum) to flow to us and through us, bringing into our life that which we desire. We then desire more and create more and manifest more.

shellebelle

11-22-2008, 08:21 AM

Hehehehe you know you just love hearing it! If we make an appointment he'll do it live and man oh man a one man show I tell you!!

Hey that's an idea - lets get together and have Mykil perform his soliloquies!

What you think MsTerry? Tea, cakes and Mykil - Like that lunch with Andre film!

Thanksalot, Now we got to listen to Mykil's D & A theory again

MsTerry

11-22-2008, 10:08 AM

But Shell, you and I and Mykil?
Mykil will never recover from that!
We shouldn't take advantage of the vulnerable and adorable ones,

Hehehehe you know you just love hearing it! If we make an appointment he'll do it live and man oh man a one man show I tell you!!

Hey that's an idea - lets get together and have Mykil perform his soliloquies!

What you think MsTerry? Tea, cakes and Mykil - Like that lunch with Andre film!

shellebelle

11-22-2008, 10:58 AM

LOL I keep forgetting he's vanilla.

Oh hey I am his shop and he's promising me dinner at his palce. I offically invite you Ms Terry!!

But Shell, you and I and Mykil?
Mykil will never recover from that!
We shouldn't take advantage of the vulnerable and adorable ones,

Dixon

11-22-2008, 11:53 AM

Most of us women want a monogamous love relationship, don't we? How does that whole 'poly' thing work for people? Sexual jealousy is hardwired into us, even if we want to be 'open minded'. Open relationships are fraught with disaster, I would imagine, with hearts being broken and people getting really angry!

News flash: Closed relationships too are fraught with disaster, with hearts being broken (or drubbed into stultified insensitivity by years of passionless boredom, with "fidelity" enforced by guilt), and people getting really angry (resentful, unfulfilled, etc.). No deep human relationship is immune from disaster, so let's not make fallacious arguments for or against either open or closed relationships based on that. Can you validate that open relationships are a perfectly decent and reasonable choice for those who choose them, whether or not you would?

Dixon

Dixon

11-22-2008, 12:09 PM

Tell us all, honestly, if you were really, truly, deeply, arduously, fanatically head over heels in love with this woman and it was her and her alone for you not only for right now but from hereon through eternity, just how, exactly, would you feel about her spending a significant amount of her time coming on to other men in your presence in order to boost her ego and her sense of worth and her sense of being able to arouse (i.e. control) other men?
Can you honestly say you want this equal of yours -- a woman who insists on having things her own way in total disregard and disrespect of what you want and what is important to you? Can you honestly say you want this equal of yours -- a woman who openly gets aroused by and gets an ego boost from flirting with other men right in front of you by turning them on sexually by very cheap and easy means?

Hey, constantconnection--

I would LOVE to be hooked up and madly in love with a sexy woman who flirts openly with others in my presence, or even has sex with them. (Ideally I could videotape it for our later enjoyment). This kind of thing would only make me love her more. And I'm not the only guy who feels that way.

Of course, I'm not making the extremely negative assumptions that you make about the presumed negative motivations and character traits of flirtatious women. I think you needlessly insult sexy, "slutty" women, showing a lack of tolerance for lifestyles that differ from yours, as well as perhaps some insecurity that such women may "steal" a man whom you may think of as your property.

While I recognize that most people--especially most women--are hard-wired for monogamy for good evolutionary reasons, and therefore try not to be too judgmental about monogamy, it's hard for me to see mutual ownership enforced by jealousy and guilt as love.

Dixon

mykil

11-22-2008, 01:30 PM

The meaning of life and a knock knock joke, how adorable! Do you do massage?
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Yes, I too coincide with the theory that all thoughts are prayer and that pessimistic thoughts alone have a strong negative impact on our universe! I have strong reservations toward wickedness and believe it is a true entity that has to be ousted from our world. The creature being pure thought yes?
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Hmmmm as far as getting my own way, I will try and take into consideration your theories on the matter at hand and try and see past my own nose! Seeing other peoples needs more clearly. Trying harder to evolve around a plain and simple plan of attack, this being sharing my own happiness with others more often, making room for them in our world of pure joy and happiness and truly challenging their abilities to find joy and a little cherished attention in their own lives while all the time making sure not to over step any boundary issues that might arouse and just try to enlighten them more clearly, which will put me back at where I am today! LOL Are you sure you don’t want to get married? Getting my own way is sharing and thank you for pointing this out. I never said I wanted to materialize a smart woman! AS far as being selfish, no, I don’t go there; the thought of me being a selfish person does not ring true. EVER! Hell I won’t even be selfish with my own thoughts, not that I haven’t been asked over and over and over… nor my possessions, my heart, my soul or my anything else I have. About the only thing I am really possessive of is my bed, it is sooo friggin comfortable! Soooooo again, this is how I got here In the first place! Soooooo this is what I really would love to hear from you CC my new found friend…
<o:p></o:p>
I, as in Mykil, would love to hear your thoughts on setting boundaries for such an event. I tried, with little success, to draw out a few thoughts in an earlier thread entitled boundaries, but did not really get what I was after! Me being raised a complete hippy, a real hippy mind you, well half hippy, half redneck in a kinda backwoods kinda country bumpkin sort of way, WAY BACK, have never ever even thought of manufacturing boundaries. Yet here I am at the ripe age of forty four and thinking I need to find some, get some, buy some at sears, [WE DON’T SHOP AT WALMART ANYMORE] or ask to borrow some of these allusive limitations from friends such as you! Where to begin? Where are they hiding? Hmmmmm
<o:p></o:p>
AS you might have read up yonder I am not a selfish individual, I tend to give away all my energy, all my possessions, or if you are poor and look like you are in need, atleast giving them to you what I paid for them, and really have no admiration toward becoming rich and wealthy in the future by doing what I do. I belong to this community and really do my best to give every ounce of my beliefs to this little commune! YEAH we are! Anywayz I am the same with my love and have to find a way to not let the same things happen over and over. Your thoughts about bringing in the energy you want are greatly appreciated, but will they work for me? Probably not! I am going to need one hell of change to make that happen! Quick fixes might include solitude! I hate being alone! Castration! OUCH, there are a few woman that might agree!!!!! Selling everything I own and moving to a monastery on a hill in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Tibet</st1:place></st1:country-region>! I don’t speak Chinese! Hmmm what to do? I have this overpowering sensation when I see a woman in need and must help her, this in turn ends up into a relationship I do not desire! Yet stick with it on the assumption that one needs my particular help. It is the need to help that gets my heart in trouble and then everything else follows! I need new boundaries! A sense that I can overcome certain admirations in my life such as what I have just described, as to being able to move forward freely with a more powerful and productive relationship or relationships with others also with myself as well and really move forward in my evolution!
<o:p></o:p>
What ya think? Can you help with this one or is it beyond the books we read? Now you know me and who I am and what it might take to do this but do you know how I got here? This might be half the battle just knowing I was raised in a very poor environment and producing to help was the only way of life. Helping meant eating plain and simple! I didn’t even know what money was till I was in my thirties for god sakes, everything was done on trade! Sooo giving a helping hand was part of life. Helping a woman out with her children meant she was moving in and taking over the common house and that was nice too! Till she gets on her feet and was able to move on. This is inbreeding on my DNA! This needs to change and as hard as I try to be mainstream I always go back to my roots and have to have the poor woman in distress syndrome that has me memorized when it walks on in. I still want to help don’t get me wrong, I just do not want that to be taken over my life like it alwayz does. Change comes from within but being hardwired makes it a challenge.
<o:p></o:p>
The way I wrote the first post way up yonder was my first attempt at achieving this task! Although it wasn’t the best piece of work I have ever written , by all means is was the first draft, the first draft for the rest on my life on the big beautiful blue earth, and I really have to start somewhere! OK Enough whining, give it to me straight! How pathetic am I?

Sylph

11-22-2008, 04:20 PM

Reply to Dixon:

News flash: Closed relationships too are fraught with disaster, with hearts being broken (or drubbed into stultified insensitivity by years of passionless boredom, with "fidelity" enforced by guilt), and people getting really angry (resentful, unfulfilled, etc.). No deep human relationship is immune from disaster, so let's not make fallacious arguments for or against either open or closed relationships based on that
Many relationships are ‘fraught with disaster’…especially our ‘primary love relationship’. I think that is a given. I do believe that adding in other people to the mix as sexual partners is bound to complicate things and lead to more ‘broken hearts’, IMHO.
Of course, love relationships are hard, they don't just happen…sometimes we have chosen the wrong partner, but sometimes the parties involved don’t know how to make the relationship better or don’t think it’s possible. I feel sad for anyone who is resigned to ‘years of passionless boredom’ or who is consumed with anger and resentment toward their partner. However, I am not sure that adding a variety of lovers is the answer to bad relationships.

Can you validate that open relationships are a perfectly decent and reasonable choice for those who choose them, whether or not you would?
Sure, go for it!

Tinque

11-22-2008, 08:45 PM

Relationship in my 10 yr. olds sons dictionary means : connection. What is the relationship of clouds to rain ? Is that not appropriate or what ?(Thorndike Century Junior Dictionary).. I can only say that the "whole" relationship thing is really @$@%$@%@% up! We all want one , we all are afraid and or leary.. Or even just want to give up ! What does one do ? I do commend my good friend Mykil for at least always expressing his needs and wants even if it is not to your approval , he is always honest and truthful. I Know for a Fact !We should all be so honest in this outstanding society of ours ! I think most of us ,as I have written before, are lonely. I am not sure why.. I feel that I am so worthy of someone to share my life with , yet that is not happening.. What does one do ? I do not go out.. I do not look on line .. (hardly ever), I , as a (I do not think that I am just assuming ),we do not even know where to begin.. And mostly anything found is just people whom need extra love and are already committed but not exclusively happy.. Whats up with that ?It is all very disconcerning to me in the whelm of life and I am sure no-one can explain the reasons of any of the above ! Or of course you can try ..

alanora

11-22-2008, 11:18 PM

The problem with the my way routine is that people will go to war to have peace their way.......

All in All Shell is right though! I have to admit, having things my way is a big turn on too me, but what is my way? You would really have to experience this in order for me to elaborate I think. I can try thou! As long as you are happy giggling and have a smile on your face this is my way! Again it is amazing what people red into something, such as the term I would only be happy with a sub! It alwayz amazes me to no ends on what one reads into things! Did I say I was gong to tie you up and really just make you perform for me? When really I am more it just giving and receive and this is really what I want and is my way! My way is the best way! No harm, no unhappiness, I try for pure pleasure and ecstasy! Why would you want it your way when you can have it my way? LMAO!!! PEACE! Who knows? Maybe my way is our way!

constantconnection

11-23-2008, 01:36 AM

Oh come on! Give me a f*#$%g break. You have dreamed up an image of who I am and what I believe that has nothing to do with me or even with anything I wrote at all. I could care less what your sexual predilections are. Whatever it is you like to do, go and do it. This is not all new and exciting and provocative stuff like you seem to think it is.

I could also care less if people who want to flirt with everyone in sight flirt with everyone in sight for the rest of their lives if that's what makes them happy. Honestly, this whole topic is beginning to bore me.

Just for the record, just to make it incredibly clear to you, I never wrote a single thing about flirtatious women. I never stated or implied that anyone was "slutty" because they were flirtatious.

Let's review: Mykil started a thread entitled "alone again..." to me implying that he didn't want to be alone again, that he wanted to find someone to be with. I was merely trying to point out to Mykil that something he said he insisted on doing (flirting with every woman in sight) was something that most women do not like in a man, thereby highly increasing the statisical probability that Mykil might remain "alone again..."

My post to him was a f*#(*ng public service announcement!

I never insulted "slutty" women. Where did you even get that, Dixon? Highlight it and paste it into a post and show it to me. I do not go around insulting anyone, ever. Ever!, do you hear me? Ever! I am more tolerant of other people's lifestyles that are different than mine than you will ever begin to know because you have some insane desire to paint me as a "baddy" when I'm such a "goody" it's almost beyond belief!

Did you even read my last post, Dixon? I explicitly, unequivocally stated that no one can "own" or control anyone. That's anyone, ever, period, Dixon, just in case I am not making myself totally and completely clear! If you feel jealous, find another situation in which you do not feel jealous unless you enjoy being jealous. If you feel guilty, either get over it or stop doing whatever it is that is making you feel guilty unless feeling guilty is what you enjoy. And don't anyone read into things and accuse me of saying guilt is a good thing or guilt is a bad thing or jealousy is a good thing or jealous is a bad thing. It seems that they'll tell me I've said both when I've never ever said either!

Would everybody please do me a favor and stop projecting their very limited points of view on me?

How can you possibly think that I am someone so insecure that I would be worried that some woman could take my man away simply by flirting with him! My God, if you knew me you would know how totally laughable that statement truly is. Men do not leave me, ever, because they know I have so much more going for me than anyone else. There is no competition. I am incredibly secure. Flirting is something that anyone, anyone can do, and I most certainly would not be threatened by someone who was doing something that anyone, anyone can do.

Would you all please go pick on someone else! I'm out of here!

cc

Hey, constantconnection--

I would LOVE to be hooked up and madly in love with a sexy woman who flirts openly with others in my presence, or even has sex with them. (Ideally I could videotape it for our later enjoyment). This kind of thing would only make me love her more. And I'm not the only guy who feels that way.

Of course, I'm not making the extremely negative assumptions that you make about the presumed negative motivations and character traits of flirtatious women. I think you needlessly insult sexy, "slutty" women, showing a lack of tolerance for lifestyles that differ from yours, as well as perhaps some insecurity that such women may "steal" a man whom you may think of as your property.

While I recognize that most people--especially most women--are hard-wired for monogamy for good evolutionary reasons, and therefore try not to be too judgmental about monogamy, it's hard for me to see mutual ownership enforced by jealousy and guilt as love.

Dixon

constantconnection

11-23-2008, 03:03 AM

Mykil, it seems that you feel you have a pattern of getting involved with women who need help, and you help them, and they use you for the help and then they leave... leaving you alone again... and you want to break the pattern? Am I understanding you correctly? I think I am.

You seem to be in a bit a quandry about how to stop getting involved in this same situation over and over again. I am working on a similar over and over and over again situation, but not in the area of love.

You say that one approach you are considering is to create "boundaries" so that you do not allow someone to take advantage of you again. Hmmm. I don't think creating artificial boundaries works.

But it's 3AM and I can't delve into the topic any further right now. I will get back to you with a few ideas I have.

cc

The meaning of life and a knock knock joke, how adorable! Do you do massage?
<o:p></o:p>
Yes, I too coincide with the theory that all thoughts are prayer and that pessimistic thoughts alone have a strong negative impact on our universe! I have strong reservations toward wickedness and believe it is a true entity that has to be ousted from our world. The creature being pure thought yes?
<o:p></o:p>
Hmmmm as far as getting my own way, I will try and take into consideration your theories on the matter at hand and try and see past my own nose! Seeing other peoples needs more clearly. Trying harder to evolve around a plain and simple plan of attack, this being sharing my own happiness with others more often, making room for them in our world of pure joy and happiness and truly challenging their abilities to find joy and a little cherished attention in their own lives while all the time making sure not to over step any boundary issues that might arouse and just try to enlighten them more clearly, which will put me back at where I am today! LOL Are you sure you don’t want to get married? Getting my own way is sharing and thank you for pointing this out. I never said I wanted to materialize a smart woman! AS far as being selfish, no, I don’t go there; the thought of me being a selfish person does not ring true. EVER! Hell I won’t even be selfish with my own thoughts, not that I haven’t been asked over and over and over… nor my possessions, my heart, my soul or my anything else I have. About the only thing I am really possessive of is my bed, it is sooo friggin comfortable! Soooooo again, this is how I got here In the first place! Soooooo this is what I really would love to hear from you CC my new found friend…
<o:p></o:p>
I, as in Mykil, would love to hear your thoughts on setting boundaries for such an event. I tried, with little success, to draw out a few thoughts in an earlier thread entitled boundaries, but did not really get what I was after! Me being raised a complete hippy, a real hippy mind you, well half hippy, half redneck in a kinda backwoods kinda country bumpkin sort of way, WAY BACK, have never ever even thought of manufacturing boundaries. Yet here I am at the ripe age of forty four and thinking I need to find some, get some, buy some at sears, [WE DON’T SHOP AT WALMART ANYMORE] or ask to borrow some of these allusive limitations from friends such as you! Where to begin? Where are they hiding? Hmmmmm
<o:p></o:p>
AS you might have read up yonder I am not a selfish individual, I tend to give away all my energy, all my possessions, or if you are poor and look like you are in need, atleast giving them to you what I paid for them, and really have no admiration toward becoming rich and wealthy in the future by doing what I do. I belong to this community and really do my best to give every ounce of my beliefs to this little commune! YEAH we are! Anywayz I am the same with my love and have to find a way to not let the same things happen over and over. Because I made financial plans based on what you said I would be earning when you hired me, for the first time in my life I am not going to be able to pay my rent am going to need one hell of change to make that happen! Quick fixes might include solitude! I hate being alone! Castration! OUCH, there are a few woman that might agree!!!!! Selling everything I own and moving to a monastery on a hill in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Tibet</st1:place></st1:country-region>! I don’t speak Chinese! Hmmm what to do? I have this overpowering sensation when I see a woman in need and must help her, this in turn ends up into a relationship I do not desire! Yet stick with it on the assumption that one needs my particular help. It is the need to help that gets my heart in trouble and then everything else follows! I need new boundaries! A sense that I can overcome certain admirations in my life such as what I have just described, as to being able to move forward freely with a more powerful and productive relationship or relationships with others also with myself as well and really move forward in my evolution!
<o:p></o:p>
What ya think? Can you help with this one or is it beyond the books we read? Now you know me and who I am and what it might take to do this but do you know how I got here? This might be half the battle just knowing I was raised in a very poor environment and producing to help was the only way of life. Helping meant eating plain and simple! I didn’t even know what money was till I was in my thirties for god sakes, everything was done on trade! Sooo giving a helping hand was part of life. Helping a woman out with her children meant she was moving in and taking over the common house and that was nice too! Till she gets on her feet and was able to move on. This is inbreeding on my DNA! This needs to change and as hard as I try to be mainstream I always go back to my roots and have to have the poor woman in distress syndrome that has me memorized when it walks on in. I still want to help don’t get me wrong, I just do not want that to be taken over my life like it alwayz does. Change comes from within but being hardwired makes it a challenge.
<o:p></o:p>
The way I wrote the first post way up yonder was my first attempt at achieving this task! Although it wasn’t the best piece of work I have ever written , by all means is was the first draft, the first draft for the rest on my life on the big beautiful blue earth, and I really have to start somewhere! OK Enough whining, give it to me straight! How pathetic am I?

MsTerry

11-23-2008, 03:15 AM

OK Enough whining, give it to me straight! How pathetic am I?
Did you really want me to answer that Question?
Caus i do know someone, maybe one person that is worthy of your devotion.
One last person that deserves your devoted attention as long as you live.
It would be the one that will never leave you.
Would you be ready for that?

mykil

11-23-2008, 08:08 AM

Sylph

11-23-2008, 08:29 AM

CC wrote:

Let's review: Mykil started a thread entitled "alone again..." to me implying that he didn't want to be alone again, that he wanted to find someone to be with. I was merely trying to point out to Mykil that something he said he insisted on doing (flirting with every woman in sight) was something that most women do not like in a man, thereby highly increasing the statisical probability that Mykil might remain "alone again
Here, here! That's possibly one reason why women are leery of a guy who sounds funny, generous, sensuous and who is at least trying very hard to communicate his deepest feelings. Flirting is one thing...one can flirt without crossing societal boundaries, but previous posts by M tell me he is taking it farther. Very few women are going to sign up for an open relationship and will leave when it becomes apparent that they are in one. Shallow flings are easy to find, but I think Mykil wants more (or both!).

You seem to be in a bit a quandry about how to stop getting involved in this same situation over and over again. I am working on a similar over and over and over again situation, but not in the area of love.

You say that one approach you are considering is to create "boundaries" so that you do not allow someone to take advantage of you again. Hmmm. I don't think creating artificial boundaries works.

CC has a point here. Understanding your weakness in this area is a good first step but just swearing 'I'll never do this again' is probably not going to work.

MsTerry

11-23-2008, 09:09 AM

This is a lovely response, but it isn't the person I had in mind for you to care of.

<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><style>  </style> MzT I can see you and you are talking about my grandson yes! Sooo transParent these dayz! Always thinking of the little en’s! No, I am not ready but that does seem to mater, no one wants my advise on what is an appropriate age to have a child, whom the hell am I to say you are tooooo young to bare child dear! hhhhmmmmmmmmm my lovely grand son will be sooo friggin spoiled by our community I might not even get a chance to seethe little sucker but once a month if I am lucky anywayz. When I was raising my wonderful children I finally let loose of the rains during the summer and just let them go. I had call around about a week before school started to see which relative or close friends actually had them! Most of the time it took about a day to track them down! I never even had to worry cause I just new they were safe and having a ball! Anywayz if the was not the right answer then no I don’t need a cat either!

constantconnection

11-23-2008, 06:44 PM

Awesome post, Sylph, and so right on the money! You so very accurately read between Mykil's lines and are tremendously perceptive.

CC wrote:

Here, here! That's possibly one reason why women are leery of a guy who sounds funny, generous, sensuous and who is at least trying very hard to communicate his deepest feelings. Flirting is one thing...one can flirt without crossing societal boundaries, but previous posts by M tell me he is taking it farther. Very few women are going to sign up for an open relationship and will leave when it becomes apparent that they are in one. Shallow flings are easy to find, but I think Mykil wants more (or both!).

CC has a point here. Understanding your weakness in this area is a good first step but just swearing 'I'll never do this again' is probably not going to work.

constantconnection

11-23-2008, 06:59 PM

Mykil, what you write is nothing less than other-wordly in its beauty, majesty and profundity. You blow me away with your incredible degree of depth.

And, no, I don't want to get married!

cc

Last night I pulled out my oils, placed my home made redwood easel next to my computer in my living room facing my TV, now I can see all three, so as to start a wondrous winter all by my lonesome, in my cave, on a hill, in the trees, in the woods. Sitting painting next to a warm fire does it for me. I went into the closet and pulled out my trunk and found all my brushes, I have many, a hundred atleast, these have been sitting in seclusion with no one to forward there beauty upon a canvas in years. I have been neglecting my duties as an artist to these little brushes knowing someday soon I would, still the time never seemed right with children under foot running about and never having a moment of peace to myself. This is what I think I am after for a while! Will I get it? Who knows, I am content in my life as of now. I am alwayz content though, so what is the difference? Is there a difference? Not really, I am connected at the hip with the conscience community at hand every step of my life and this is important to me. I am transparent to you all, yet my own evolution is a little elusive even to me! I am thinking it is good things I have do not put much stock into worrying to the extent that some seem to! I am really in no hurry to find a soul mate or a new live in roommate this is for sure. Dating and entertaining a few friends now and again seems appealing to me. Till one day someone with such a strong need will appear with her heart on her sleeve and I will not be able to stop my soul from trying to evolve her and give her the support she needs, all along knowing I will br4ak her heart, and mine. IT will only be a matter of time… This is my pattern and I know it will. Should I evolve and try the poly routine that some many adhere to? Should I stop myself from saving the next poor soul that walks into my life and has the over powering sensation that has the need that can stop a train? Hmmm only time will tell. In the mean time I will just go on with my life and do what I do best. Maybe paint a picture of a broken heart or of all of us combined as one soul in need of our own … ~P~E~A~C~E~ … ;-{

mykil

11-23-2008, 07:04 PM

mykil

11-23-2008, 07:06 PM

OH CC break my heart already and we have not even met yet! That is OK I have never been married, I am not the stupid!!!

Mykil, what you write is nothing less than other-wordly in its beauty, majesty and profundity. You blow me away with your incredible degree of depth.

And, no, I don't want to get married!

cc

Tinque

11-23-2008, 10:43 PM

Mykil , my dear, you are so not appreciating the fact that you do not have chaos , a jealous girlfriend, too many woman to juggle (or jiggle) , and before you know it you WILL be in a relationship again and maybe feeling kind of silly that you have been wasting time dwelling on this moment of aloneness when in reading and listening I am hearing your paint brushes calling your name and that if you might allow yourself the thought and time , you may even really enjoy this time.. alone.. If you need an art project , you ask me and I would love to work together with you on one . What do you think? I think maybe YOU need a spanking to get a new outlook and attitude check ! LOL my sweet friend... xoxoxoxox:fairy:

mykil

11-24-2008, 07:32 AM

Ohhh Misty the only other person on that list of yours would be myself yes !!!! Are you just tired latelyor what? get off the fucking youtube and get back in the game man!!!! Take a walk, take a ride. get the mountain air out of your brain get your thoughts clear and come back feeling like you have something to say!!!! Don't fade away... I can feel you slipinnnnnnn

This is a lovely response, but it isn't the person I had in mind for you to care of.

mykil

11-24-2008, 07:50 AM

MsTerry

11-24-2008, 08:00 AM

https://www.waccobb.net/forums/waccobb/ImagesforMembers/mykil.jpg

<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td rowspan="2" align="right" valign="top">
</td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td>https://www.waccobb.net/forums/image.php?u=816&dateline=1173677671</td> <td class="smallfont" align="right" valign="bottom">
</td></tr></tbody></table>
Take good care of this cute guy

Ohhh Misty the only other person on that list of yours would be myself yes !!!! \

Tinque

11-24-2008, 09:13 AM

Personally Mykil , You are who you are and if you were not your "normal " out of almost control flirtatious self , you would not be you and I really appreciate YOU , so be yourself and I can tell you from my heart that without people like you , there would be less smiles in the world and we surely all need as much smile time that is possibly possible ! You always make me smile. You are a good man ! Should we do a nude portrait ! Hopefully that thought will make you laugh , besides the big hug I will embrace you upon this day ! LOL...:fairy:

hales

11-24-2008, 10:01 AM

Mykil pointed out that I pressed the "wrong" button, so here is what I sent to him:

> Hey, everyone,
> I really wanted to revisit the "bubble theory" whatever that is.. I
> think I made it up, but I'm not sure..
>
> yet, here you (Mykil), are asking, are not all boundaries made up?? if
> you have a bubble, what have you got, an inside and an outside,
> separated by a membrane, a molecule or so thick, of water with a tiny
> amount of surfactant.. (soap or some-such..).. the boundary consists of
> hardly anything, but it's created by the dynamic tension of what is
> inside and what is not.. it's really a side effect of various forces,
> but coincidentally, it exhibits amazing properties of buoyancy,
> resilience, refraction and even.. beauty! When two bubbles meet, they
> generally pop, fuse or merge. A buncha small bubbles could make a foam,
> a froth or a lather.. but no one has to exert any real thought for a
> bubble to exist. Likewise, do we really consciously create our
> boundaries, generally? I think in general, (being more serious here.. ),
> it's often a learned response. I guess, when as a kid, you lose that
> magic openness, at the same time you learn to create boundaries. Would
> you agree, it's really a loss, as well as a gain. (Defining what is inside
> and what is "outside" one's own personal reality..me/other, mine/yours,
> etc.. )
>
> Now that I think of it, the human body is little than a big bubble, full
> of smaller bubbles, full of even smaller bubbles.. ie: membranes mostly
> full of fluids; organs, cells, etc.
>
> To me a bubble is a good metaphor for the realities that we create for
> ourselves, using our (god-given?) imaginations, our belief systems and
> our programming. When two or more "bubbles", or personal realities
> collide, then there are any number or possible consequences.
>
> So, I repeat, "you can be in my bubble, if I can be in yours".. : )
> and, if you don't like my bubble, please don't pop it, just let it waft on
> by, on the breezes of happenstance, or whatever.. ; )
>
> Scott.
</pre>

<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CADMINI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><style>  </style> Alright; Now I am curious! What are artificial boundaries? Are not all boundaries made up? Now I think WE may be on to something here. There are a allot of people around that couch on manufacturing boundaries and this is amusing to me that you might pertain to the idea that new boundaries are not real! What are all these people doing then when [especially woman over forty] say to me when they say you should have known me when I was younger, I used to do everyone, now I have boundaries? I have a problem with this in the first place, if you hear the same thing from a beautiful woman you ask out and she sayz this to you, you have to turn you head in amazement and ask where the hell was I when all this was going on. Why didn’t I get a memo????<o:p></o:p>

mykil

11-24-2008, 10:12 AM

Nude portrait my asss, I am going out and buying a video camera today!!!

Personally Mykil , You are who you are and if you were not your "normal " out of almost control flirtatious self , you would not be you and I really appreciate YOU , so be yourself and I can tell you from my heart that without people like you , there would be less smiles in the world and we surely all need as much smile time that is possibly possible ! You always make me smile. You are a good man ! Should we do a nude portrait ! Hopefully that thought will make you laugh , besides the big hug I will embrace you upon this day ! LOL...:fairy:

shellebelle

11-24-2008, 11:19 AM

Hi Scott,

LOL I don't know if you created the bubble theory but I am well aware of it.

I've never had a problem with someone popping my bubble but I do not inflexible and sharp edged boxes in life or people.

My bubble is wonderful and iridescent. I have many people in it. It's a sad palce to be on the outside of though. To watch the fun of life pass by you justout of reach - for me thats how those in boxes live. Safe but out of reach of the fun and wonder that is what we are here to experience.

Mykil pointed out that I pressed the "wrong" button, so here is what I sent to him:

> Hey, everyone,
> I really wanted to revisit the "bubble theory" whatever that is.. I
> think I made it up, but I'm not sure..
>
> yet, here you (Mykil), are asking, are not all boundaries made up?? if
> you have a bubble, what have you got, an inside and an outside,
> separated by a membrane, a molecule or so thick, of water with a tiny
> amount of surfactant.. (soap or some-such..).. the boundary consists of
> hardly anything, but it's created by the dynamic tension of what is
> inside and what is not.. it's really a side effect of various forces,
> but coincidentally, it exhibits amazing properties of buoyancy,
> resilience, refraction and even.. beauty! When two bubbles meet, they
> generally pop, fuse or merge. A buncha small bubbles could make a foam,
> a froth or a lather.. but no one has to exert any real thought for a
> bubble to exist. Likewise, do we really consciously create our
> boundaries, generally? I think in general, (being more serious here.. ),
> it's often a learned response. I guess, when as a kid, you lose that
> magic openness, at the same time you learn to create boundaries. Would
> you agree, it's really a loss, as well as a gain. (Defining what is inside
> and what is "outside" one's own personal reality..me/other, mine/yours,
> etc.. )
>
> Now that I think of it, the human body is little than a big bubble, full
> of smaller bubbles, full of even smaller bubbles.. ie: membranes mostly
> full of fluids; organs, cells, etc.
>
> To me a bubble is a good metaphor for the realities that we create for
> ourselves, using our (god-given?) imaginations, our belief systems and
> our programming. When two or more "bubbles", or personal realities
> collide, then there are any number or possible consequences.
>
> So, I repeat, "you can be in my bubble, if I can be in yours".. : )
> and, if you don't like my bubble, please don't pop it, just let it waft on
> by, on the breezes of happenstance, or whatever.. ; )
>
> Scott.

mykil

11-30-2008, 11:07 PM

Zeno Swijtink

11-30-2008, 11:24 PM

https://www.waccobb.net/forums/waccobb/ImagesforMembers/mykil.jpg

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Take good care of this cute guy

mykil, you rock, man. You're our own west county bukowski man. with just the right formatting, your prose sounds like poetry.

shellebelle

12-01-2008, 07:43 AM

Hehehehe You know I am typically nude. And why didn't you comeback and get me to go to Harbin (pout - nude of course).

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. A day in the life and times of Mykil’s day off!
<o:p> </o:p>
I woke this morn feeling a little stuffy and was worried I might be catching a cold. No worries, it appears to have past! So I go over to he lovely Shelley’s house to ask her where to buy some curtains for my bedroom cause I want to make it look nice and cozy, she is nude cutting hair nude with ambition in life! I ask her where on this earth shall I go look for curtains, and she talks for about ten minutes on where to buy curtains, which goes in one ear and out the other cause you know she is nude. Sooo off I go down to <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Burlington</st1:place></st1:city> coat factory and check out curtains for my room. After about five minutes I am like I really don’t think I have a feminine side sooo I leave! Off to the store and buy groceries and Andy’s of course! I See all my girls there mmmmmmm and off to my house for a relaxing day at home just cleaning up. Nope my friend calls and asks me to come over and help him do a little something, so off I go. I get there and help him out for a while and start talking about his new car
Anywayz now you all know what I do for entertainment on my day off!
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MsTerry

12-01-2008, 09:00 AM

I knew it. I knew it, and I said it before!
MYKIL IS RIGHTING A BOOK!
and he delivers male

mykil, you rock, man. You're our own west county bukowski man. with just the right formatting, your prose sounds like poetry.

pjpete

01-08-2009, 07:29 AM

I like your style.....:)

Melodymama

01-09-2009, 11:02 AM

Last night I pulled out my oils, placed my home made redwood easel next to my computer in my living room facing my TV, now I can see all three, so as to start a wondrous winter all by my lonesome, in my cave, on a hill, in the trees, in the woods. Sitting painting next to a warm fire does it for me. I went into the closet and pulled out my trunk and found all my brushes, I have many, a hundred atleast, these have been sitting in seclusion with no one to forward there beauty upon a canvas in years. I have been neglecting my duties as an artist to these little brushes knowing someday soon I would, still the time never seemed right with children under foot running about and never having a moment of peace to myself. This is what I think I am after for a while! Will I get it? Who knows, I am content in my life as of now. I am alwayz content though, so what is the difference? Is there a difference? Not really, I am connected at the hip with the conscience community at hand every step of my life and this is important to me. I am transparent to you all, yet my own evolution is a little elusive even to me! I am thinking it is good things I have do not put much stock into worrying to the extent that some seem to! I am really in no hurry to find a soul mate or a new live in roommate this is for sure. Dating and entertaining a few friends now and again seems appealing to me. Till one day someone with such a strong need will appear with her heart on her sleeve and I will not be able to stop my soul from trying to evolve her and give her the support she needs, all along knowing I will br4ak her heart, and mine. IT will only be a matter of time… This is my pattern and I know it will. Should I evolve and try the poly routine that some many adhere to? Should I stop myself from saving the next poor soul that walks into my life and has the over powering sensation that has the need that can stop a train? Hmmm only time will tell. In the mean time I will just go on with my life and do what I do best. Maybe paint a picture of a broken heart or of all of us combined as one soul in need of our own … ~P~E~A~C~E~ … ;-{

First of all, I you and I know that I am no expert on this, but the pursuit of your creative energy in the painting may bring you some answers to your questions. Yes, we are all always alone, and often also bonded to others in amazing ways. When we continue to see Love as the physical connection, we diminish how much Love is there every day in so many odd ways. I have come to understand how much the lust pushed me in my younger days, and how I think I want that again. It is just not me now, and I want to know I am led by my heart to connection, and the physical will follow. However great the physical is and can be, it is not the heart connection, and is good at blurring our vision enough to convince us we are in love. I want complete acceptance and compassion, mental, spiritual, humor, inspiration, AND amazing physical connection. So, yes, I stop by your place for a friendly flirt, and a good laugh, and we can be good friends. And, yes, I have created my own boundaries and those change as I see fit. Good friends stay, and lovers often must leave. I appreciate your honesty and wish you even more wisdom in your journey. Now, get naked and paint, and sing, scream or whatever allows your angst to vent so that you can continue to become an even more wonderful, cuter you. Laura

justme

01-09-2009, 04:31 PM

Be honest, be monogamous, be yourself.

Dixon

01-12-2009, 06:34 PM

Be honest, be monogamous, be yourself.

Surely you understand that, for many of us, the injunctions "be monogamous" and "be yourself" are mutually contradictory. And so, those who try to force themselves into the monogamous mold generally end up violating the "be honest" injunction.

Honest Dixon

mykil

01-14-2009, 10:55 AM

Let the evolution continue!
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After spending atlas a tiny tad bit of time to me; not yet entirely mind you, due to the recentness little mini dramas the ex provokes along with her needs for her children in such. I should not let her use me soooo yet I feel so much for the little ones it is extremely difficult to turn them away in there time of need. It appears to b e over thou, they are almost to the point that they will no longer need my space to call their own, the dwelling in which they have choose to occupy is well under way to be their own and they now truly can evolve past my own boundaries and they can be off to make their own…
<o:p></o:p>
Along with such empathy I have for the rest of the world, I hate that word BTW, I have to give myself a true sense of what I truly believe to be me, my own needs and my own true sense of desires. I have spent pretty much all my life taking care of others and now feel I can use a little caring for me. Me time is here again, not that I ever had any me time, more on the lines of I think I need some time to call my own. Being able to spend about a third of my time at my house without interruption is dull to say the least. I do need companionship, comrades and love; yes let us not forget love. I am not sure if I may fall in love again soooo soon after being in true love, but still sharing love and the company of another is important to my own creation and evolution in the day and age. Sooo who wants to be first? Joking of course yet I still cannot get the sense or feel out of my soul that I need to be loved and still want a relationship.
<o:p></o:p>
I do know that this is just a temporary situation in my own mind and I will get over being sooo needy, although I have dated a bit I still am reminiscing toward a situation that is more fulfilling and evolutionary for two.
<o:p></o:p>
I think the perfect mate would have to be sexy, a porn star in the bedroom, while being conservative in public. I true sense of herself, with her own true self evolved way past me soo as we can teach one another and I can just try to keep up! Someone that has a sense of her surrounding, being able to see past her own nose and even past mine and into the next lifetime would be a plus. Someone knowing being In the “NOW” is more of a responsibility and commitment rather that a game [games are for us not the rest of the environment]. The “NOW” consisting of the past present and future all combined as “ONE” Truly being able to see that we are here to live as one and what turns one head should also turn the other’s! Compassionate goes beyond words, beyond sight, beyond empathy! Anger is for war and does not belong in on around thru or even In the same galaxy as WE! Fighting is for the ring, even then I can’t stomach watching let alone letting it close to me! Understanding trees and the wildlife are alive and part of us all… OK enough… Spontaneous and creative and… Cute as a button… Knowing when and where to pretend to be shallow is a virtue that cannot be without, playing in the minds of others in a privilege and not a right… Knowing we are friends and kissing hugging and touching at every turn… getting along with ones self is a big turn on to me. I find most have difficulty seeing they are not alone in their own mind, teaching this is difficult. The most important thing in this world in this day and age is being able to get along with you! A big plus is to get along with a mate… OK vent for the day enjoy, laugh and presume all you need I know I will… P~E~A~C~E to all and to all a good day! :Yinyangv: