dell-shalom

[alanora]

<dl><dd>I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers! They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so low, even with the shipping from Israel! However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:</dd><dd>1) The 'Start' button has been replaced with the 'Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!' button.

</dd><dd>2) You hear 'Hava Nagila' during startup.

</dd><dd>3) The cursor moves from right to left.

</dd><dd>4) When Spell-checker finds an error, it prompts, 'Is this the best you can do?'

</dd><dd>5) When you look at erotic images, your computer says, 'If your mother knew you did this, she would die.'

</dd><dd>6) It comes with a 'monitor cleaning solution' from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the 'schmutz und drek.'

</dd><dd>7) When running 'Scan Disk' it prompts you with a 'You want I should fix this?' message.

</dd><dd>8) After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC goes 'Schloffen.'

</dd><dd>9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

</dd><dd>10) It comes with two hard drives--one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).

</dd><dd>11) Instead of getting a 'General Protection Fault' error, your PC now gets 'Ferklempt.'

</dd><dd>12) The multimedia player has been renamed to 'Nu, so play my music already!' corner.

</dd><dd>13) When your PC is working too hard, you occasionally hear a loud 'Oy Gevalt!'

</dd><dd>14) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.

</dd><dd>15) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, you are instructed to 'Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus.'

</dd><dd>16) After your computer dies, you have to dispose of it within 24 hours.

</dd><dd>17) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get spam!

</dd></dl>