Talking about puberty with boys...

[wunda]

My kid is starting to ask those questions about his body, and i have no problem answering them, but I am curious (mostly because i am a single mom).....

What do Wacco Men think is important to tell boys about puberty, masturbation, girls, and the changes that are coming their way?


I think i opened a can of worms (or perhaps a jar of petrolium jelly) here and look forward to your answers. I giggle madly in anticipation!

[Zeno Swijtink]

My kid is starting to ask those questions about his body, and i have no problem answering them, but I am curious (mostly because i am a single mom).....

What do Wacco Men think is important to tell boys about puberty, masturbation, girls, and the changes that are coming their way?


I think i opened a can of worms (or perhaps a jar of petrolium jelly) here and look forward to your answers. I giggle madly in anticipation!

If you have no problem responding to your son's questions there is no problem. I don't think there is a BIG, ALL IMPORTANT, MALE lesson to tell or give.

Just be with him, be observant, and give him your best. And include him somewhat, when you interact with the men you have accepted to be part of your life.

[wunda]

If you have no problem responding to your son's questions there is no problem. I don't think there is a BIG, ALL IMPORTANT, MALE lesson to tell or give.

Just be with him, be observant, and give him your best. And include him somewhat, when you interact with the men you have accepted to be part of your life.


Thanks Zeno! I love your advice, but i am curious really about what you and other Wacco men were told about their bodies? What weren't you told? What did you wish was said?

[Zeno Swijtink]

Thanks Zeno! I love your advice, but i am curious really about what you and other Wacco men were told about their bodies? What weren't you told? What did you wish was said?

I myself was not told anything. But then I did not ask any questions! There were a few booklets, high up on the shelf, which I looked at when I could reach there.

And I'm happy my father did not lecture, since - to be honest - I'm still not sure he would have had anything of value to say.

My education came mainly through reading novels and short stories, borrowed from the sub-urban public library, and later from the main library down town. Hubert Lampo, a Belgium author who was part of the magical realism movement, may have played a major role in my erotic awakening.

[Valley Oak]

The local Unitarian Universalists in Santa Rosa have a comprehensive sex education program that lasts 8 weeks for children and one year for adolescents. The UU's sex education program is called 'O.W.L.' for 'Our Whole Lives.' We sent our daughter to the child's version of OWL some years ago.

They meet for one or two hours every week and they cover EVERYTHING expertly. No stone is left unturned so the education is very thorough. This includes not only the biology but also different orientations, the law (very important), diseases, contraception, etc, etc. If you're not a UU member then they charge you a price for your child to participate in the program. Planned Parenthood helped the UU develop this course and it's very accurate, objective, and scientific. No religion is injected into it in any way.

We were very disappointed with the lacking sex education program at the public school our daughter was attending, which only dedicated two hours to the subject for the entire school year. I remember that I received much more sex education when I was her age, 33 years earlier. Our daughter's public charter school was supposed to be really 'progressive' and 'alternative,' which is why we sent her there in the first place. We've taken her out long since then.

Edward


Thanks Zeno! I love your advice, but i am curious really about what you and other Wacco men were told about their bodies? What weren't you told? What did you wish was said?

[Dixon]

Well, FWIW, just off the top of my head, and in no particular order--

Tell him the complete, unvarnished, unexpurgated truth.

Do not implicitly connect sex with shame by an uneasy silence or an insistence on distancing yourself emotionally from "dirty" sex by using clinical terms.

Do not shame him for his natural lust.

Make sure he knows that masturbation is safe sex, and healthy.

Do not infect him with the prudish myth that sexual material (porn) is harmful; at the same time help him to separate out misogyny and sexism (whether seen in porn or elsewhere) from sex itself. Make sure he understands that the cocks he sees in porn (and he DOES see porn) are unusually large (so that he doesn't think he's abnormally small) and the relationships he sees in porn do not reflect the kind of relationships he's likely to find in real life (i.e., in real life, groping a woman without being invited to do so is not likely to have such pleasant results as it might in a fuck movie).

Teach that monogamy is one of several options, and that the important thing is to communicate, to be honest, and to follow the Golden Rule in all interactions, sexual or otherwise.

Emphasize that sex is a positive value in itself, one of the best things about being human, to counteract the sex-negative conditioning he gets from society, while being realistic about the dangers.

Teach him to think twice about having children, in light of the overpopulation problem, and that he'll probably not want to become a parent at too young an age in any case.

Teach him to avoid pregnancy and disease and, as much as possible, inflicting or suffering heartbreak, without scaring him too much.

Do not assume that he's straight, and always make it clear that there's nothing wrong with being gay, bi, transsexual, intergender, or just plain kinky, and nothing wrong with being a sex-positive person.

Make it clear that he can always approach you with his questions and concerns.

That's all I can think of for now. I hope it helps a bit. I'm sure you'll do a better job than my parents did with me, LOL!

Dixon




My kid is starting to ask those questions about his body, and i have no problem answering them, but I am curious (mostly because i am a single mom).....

What do Wacco Men think is important to tell boys about puberty, masturbation, girls, and the changes that are coming their way?


I think i opened a can of worms (or perhaps a jar of petrolium jelly) here and look forward to your answers. I giggle madly in anticipation!

[Valley Oak]

Excellent post, Dixon!

By the way, what is the 'Golden Rule?'

Edward



Well, FWIW, just off the top of my head, and in no particular order--

Tell him the complete, unvarnished, unexpurgated truth.

Do not implicitly connect sex with shame by an uneasy silence or an insistence on distancing yourself emotionally from "dirty" sex by using clinical terms.

Do not shame him for his natural lust.

Make sure he knows that masturbation is safe sex, and healthy.

Do not infect him with the prudish myth that sexual material (porn) is harmful; at the same time help him to separate out misogyny and sexism (whether seen in porn or elsewhere) from sex itself. Make sure he understands that the cocks he sees in porn (and he DOES see porn) are unusually large (so that he doesn't think he's abnormally small) and the relationships he sees in porn do not reflect the kind of relationships he's likely to find in real life (i.e., in real life, groping a woman without being invited to do so is not likely to have such pleasant results as it might in a fuck movie).

Teach that monogamy is one of several options, and that the important thing is to communicate, to be honest, and to follow the Golden Rule in all interactions, sexual or otherwise.

Emphasize that sex is a positive value in itself, one of the best things about being human, to counteract the sex-negative conditioning he gets from society, while being realistic about the dangers.

Teach him to think twice about having children, in light of the overpopulation problem, and that he'll probably not want to become a parent at too young an age in any case.

Teach him to avoid pregnancy and disease and, as much as possible, inflicting or suffering heartbreak, without scaring him too much.

Do not assume that he's straight, and always make it clear that there's nothing wrong with being gay, bi, transsexual, intergender, or just plain kinky, and nothing wrong with being a sex-positive person.

Make it clear that he can always approach you with his questions and concerns.

That's all I can think of for now. I hope it helps a bit. I'm sure you'll do a better job than my parents did with me, LOL!

Dixon

[wunda]

Excellent post, Dixon!

By the way, what is the 'Golden Rule?'

Edward


I think it goes something like "do unto others all the things you want them to do to you.." (fairness in all bedroom, kitchen, back seat of your parent's car) lol

Thanks for your great insights Dixon, you're brilliant "off the top of your head in no particular order" My thoughts about how to speak to my kids are very similar.

[MsTerry]

Thanks for your great insights Dixon, you're brilliant "off the top of your head in no particular order"

Well, maybe it is all off the top of his head, (but not the one with more than one orifice) LOL
The guy has a lot time reflecting on his own (solo) sex life, and keeping a sense of humor about it.
:thumbsup:

[wunda]

Well, maybe it is all off the top of his head, (but not the one with more than one orifice) LOL
The guy has a lot time reflecting on his own (solo) sex life, and keeping a sense of humor about it.
:thumbsup:


Never the less, totally fabulous. BTW Dixon, i have a single west county friend who read your response... hmm.

[Dixon]

BTW Dixon, i have a single west county friend who read your response... hmm.

Hmm indeed.