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View Full Version : Does this ring anyone's bells, or will you sound the gong?



sallye2254
08-06-2008, 12:34 PM
I have been wondering if any men on WACCOBB who are over 40 ever date women over 40? Do any of these men eschew motorcycles, fancy sports cars, dope, cigarettes and alcohol? Would any of them NOT judge a woman by her height, weight, bank account, or preference for a single man? Do any of these men fit the "relatively sane" moniker? Perhaps you would.... So, I'm writing.

I'm turning 54 in August. Perhaps that is "too old" for you, so I thought I'd just say that right off. Even though I appear younger, I have no interest in deception. I'm proud and grateful to have lived this long, since too many of my friends and acquaintances have not been that lucky.

I am single, and if you're not actually single, not legally and completely free, please do not respond.

I'm not particularly fond of pets and have none, because I am slightly allergic, so if you are flooded with animals or let them roam all over the counters and furniture, that also won't work for me.

If you watch a lot of TV, especially organized sports or violent films/TV show, also won't work for me.

If all of these "gates" have been successfully opened, let's continue.

I'm further "left" than most "lefties," but not an activist; I just hold those views. I was raised Jewish and relate to it culturally, but not religiously; I'm a practicing Buddhist (Tibetan, Vajrayana), which is central to my most cherished beliefs and values.

I live alone, in Sebastopol, and also work here, for a nonprofit (upper management), but I'm not a native.

I have a grown son who lives in NYC with his fiance. He's a musician by heart and a computer technician (server maintenance manager/network engineer) by trade.

I'm wildly funny, extremely intelligent, surprisingly tender, unflinchingly honest, completely loyal, spontaneously kind, appropriately and seriously sensuous, and, according to everyone who knows me, quite unusual. I'm not slender, not tall, and have no interest in make-up, commercial purchases, shopping, high heels, jewelry, or fancy cars or clothes. My hair is mostly not grey, yet, curly and somewhat longish.

I like to swim and do that for my main exercise, and also ride my bike (short distances, no real hills).

I can't hike on hills or walk very far or fast due to injuries to one knee in my youth. I do not smoke, drink, do drugs, or enjoy those who do.

I like romantic, funny, sweet movies, or adventures without a lot of blood or fight scenes. I read a lot, mostly nonfiction, and some silly "women's" fiction, mysteries,, and romantic novels the way others eat candy. I like many kinds of music and play the piano myself. I like to cook, but am not a baker or fancy cook. I like to talk, listen, discuss, analyze, and understand. Quantum physics, psychology, spirituality, human emotion, and other deep topics interest me greatly. I'm moderately good at and like to play word games (Scrabble, Palabra, crosswords), some kinds of cards, and chess.

I am not taking any psychotropic or antidepressant prescription medications and never have needed them. I'd like to be with someone who doesn't take them, either, and more importantly, doesn't need them.

I like to go to the Santa Rosa and Sebastopol farmers' markets, and go almost every Sunday to the one in Sebastopol, usually on the earlier side, so I can swim at around 11 or 12 at Ives pool.

I listen to NPR news a lot, and my favorite shows are: "Wait, Wait: Don't Tell Me," "This American Life," "The Fiddlin' Zone," "E-Town," and "Says You," and I listen often to "Prairie Home Companion" and "Fresh Air" as well.

I go to bed early and wake up early, and this is hard to change, but I do take naps when I know I have to stay up past 8 PM....

I want to get to know you, enjoy a friendship and companionship, and let that develop at its own pace into a more intimate connection. Love lives in our hearts, not our bodies..... But, great to include them, eh?

If any of this "rings your bells," and no gong sounds, write back.

If not, good luck!<table> <tbody><tr><td>
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shellebelle
08-06-2008, 01:24 PM
LOL Well I wouldn't phrase this as you did but okay.

Yes I have dated several and do date several men over 40 from Wacco. I have found though that www.OKCupid.com is much better. I find them intriguing and mostly sane depending on definition of course.

I have found saying what you bring to the relationship is better than what you don't want. No need to harp on the negatives - embrace the positives. Everyone wants to know who you are not have you tell them who they aren't.

Also might I add profile - yep I said the word - profile your positives and then profile the positives you want in a man - then look. And don't do no's (ie: non smoker - is profiled as "someone who appreciates breathing fresh clean air and appreciates the sanctity of self")



I have been wondering if any men on WACCOBB who are over 40 ever date women over 40? Do any of these men eschew motorcycles, fancy sports cars, dope, cigarettes and alcohol? Would any of them NOT judge a woman by her height, weight, bank account, or preference for a single man? Do any of these men fit the "relatively sane" moniker? Perhaps you would.... So, I'm writing.



If any of this "rings your bells," and no gong sounds, write back.

If not, good luck!<table> <tbody><tr><td>
</td> <td>
</td></tr> <tr><td>
</td> <td>
</td></tr> </tbody></table>

Sylph
08-06-2008, 07:38 PM
Sally, I think you describe yourself very well:
"I'm wildly funny, extremely intelligent, surprisingly tender, unflinchingly honest, completely loyal, spontaneously kind, appropriately and seriously sensuous, and, according to everyone who knows me, quite unusual. I'm not slender, not tall, and have no interest in make-up, commercial purchases, shopping, high heels, jewelry, or fancy cars or clothes. My hair is mostly not grey, yet, curly and somewhat longish." etc.
My overall impression from your post is positive. You sound like an interesting person to know!
I think the beauty of this 'on-line' thing is that you can list the 'deal breakers' like smoking or pets and thus you are not wasting your or the other person's time.
Good luck with your search!
Cyn

decterlove
08-06-2008, 11:10 PM
Well, yeah but....

the big problem with dating over 40 is that you do begin to know yourself really well and that often translates to a bizarre combination of lack of innocence ie lack of openness (and this is the real reason men over 40 are often attracted to younger women and also why there are more and more cougars out there....it's a way around the power struggle thing...)

and rigidity/difficulty in getting that initial bonding thing going which when you're younger of course is based about 90% on hormones.

So.....lots of what you write rings bells for me but I have 14 snakes!

It's always something!


I have been wondering if any men on WACCOBB who are over 40 ever date women over 40?

If any of this "rings your bells," and no gong sounds, write back.

If not, good luck!<table> <tbody><tr><td>
</td> <td>
</td></tr> <tr><td>
</td> <td>
</td></tr> </tbody></table>

mykil
08-14-2008, 11:07 AM
:hello: There are really no “I’s” in us! you may want to re-read what you wrote and re-evaluate your stance on life completely! LMAO!!!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
I find it particular hard to date anyone that talks solely about THEIR wants and desires and what will work for THEM! Over and over again and again, I will never date anyone again that thinks in this position! If you re-read what you wrote you will see a selfish side to your perspective on life. No wonder you are single! Sorry that just slipped! I semi remember an article someone wrote a year or so ago about this subject that caused all hell to break loose in the wacco community! Oh yeah it was me!!!! And it WAS FUNNY!!<o:p> :2cents:</o:p>
<o:p>https://www.waccobb.net/forums/showthread.php?t=14775</o:p>

Lenny
08-14-2008, 12:38 PM
:hello: There are really no “I’s” in us! you may want to re-read what you wrote and re-evaluate your stance on life completely! LMAO!!!<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>I find it particular hard to date anyone that talks solely about THEIR wants and desires and what will work for THEM! Over and over again and again, I will never date anyone again that thinks in this position! If you re-read what you wrote you will see a selfish side to your perspective on life. No wonder you are single! Sorry that just slipped! I semi remember an article someone wrote a year or so ago about this subject that caused all hell to break loose in the wacco community! Oh yeah it was me!!!! And it WAS FUNNY!!<o:p> :2cents:</o:p> <o:p>https://www.waccobb.net/forums/showthread.php?t=14775</o:p>

wow, Mykil, I honestly thought you were, at the most, about 23 years old after reading many of your posts on Wacco.
But I read your reference above and now know your solar years. I also noticed that your reference made a lot "I" remarks as well. I have determined that no males are men until they're over 40, and sadly too many of them don't make that category. Does that LMAO connote derisive laughter, as if you are laughing AT some one and not with them? Dude, I gather you've never been married? Nor had children? Dude!

mykil
08-14-2008, 01:02 PM
Sorry OLE LEN way off on all accounts! PEACE!!! DUDE!!!

Sylph
08-14-2008, 11:02 PM
Mykil, Mykil!
Of course she's talking about herself and trying to paint a picture of her personality and what she likes and dislikes. That doesn't mean she's
'self centered' or selfish. What's the alternative? Do you want her to describe what she'll do for you?? You wish! :wink:

Most of her post describes an interesting, complex person...her hobbies, her style. She got flack for making it clear that she wants a potential date to be single, pet-less, a non-smoker, etc. I don't see why the heck not. She's trying to put all the cards on the table and be up-front.

sallye2254
08-15-2008, 06:41 AM
I think there are some very astute and kind people in our WACCOBB community, and some very odd and unhelpful ones as well; just like anywhere, I suppose.

Thanks to those of you who sent supportive or advising emails that were meant to be helpful and who actually gave me some good ideas. That is a great way to keep my post "alive" without having to re-post!

To those of you who believe you're being helpful but can't possibly know what "helpful" would look like, or just don't care as you're sniping, find another hobby. Another, less preferred way, to keep my post re-appearing....

Meanwhile, I have also received some appropriate and interesting replies from a few WACCOBB men who actually read my post and wanted to introduce themselves and start a dialog: THANKS to all of you, especially, since, after all, that was the point of my post! So far, no viable dates have emerged, but some potentials are in progress, and maybe more will read and reply; hope springs eternal!

MsTerry
08-15-2008, 08:52 AM
Funny how you can be funny without meaning to.
My Kill, there are enough "I's" in your old thread to make the whole world blind LOL.
mememememmemememememeememememmeme
Where are you at now?
Have you perused the nether world some more?
Are you going to France too? Maybe you can teach them some kissing?


:hello: There are really no “I’s” in us! you may want to re-read what you wrote and re-evaluate your stance on life completely! LMAO!!!<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
I find it particular hard to date anyone that talks solely about THEIR wants and desires and what will work for THEM! Over and over again and again, I will never date anyone again that thinks in this position! If you re-read what you wrote you will see a selfish side to your perspective on life. No wonder you are single! Sorry that just slipped! I semi remember an article someone wrote a year or so ago about this subject that caused all hell to break loose in the wacco community! Oh yeah it was me!!!! And it WAS FUNNY!!<o:p> :2cents:</o:p>
<o:p>https://www.waccobb.net/forums/showthread.php?t=14775</o:p>

mykil
08-15-2008, 10:00 AM
WAiT WAiT WAiT WAiT WAiT WAiT; How did you know I was going to France, better yet HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW I WAS SUCH A GOOD KISSER????? Was that you last week and you where too shy to tell me whom you really where???? And how the hell did you know the other side was in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">France</st1:place></st1:country-region> also??? WoW, you boggles mes mind sometimes MzT. Love ya anyway. Ya you all are right, I never should post mes true feelin’s when I read something. And go “OMG” what is with this post that has mes all flustered and up in arms. Simple, well written, with all the proper etiquette, asking the world for exactly what one wants, yes? It was just a little slip in my own world asking myself if this was my type of mate? The answer was just a big “NO” and I should have moved on over and let the post just pass mes by! Instead I have to set myself up to the ridicule of all that happens by and take it with a grain of salt, oh just like the lovely lady that wrote the post! LOL! No I am not entertained at all by the fact that anyone would be sooooo overly jealous about what exactly one would want in life. By the time most turn 40 they pretty much know exactly what one wants in life, while when I turned forty I was asking what else life has in store for me. I am not aging well I just suppose but more on the lines of “”””“I DON”T WANNA GROW UP, AND NEVER WELL!!!!!’’’’’ I want the world to keep me guessing, I want [oh did you notice the I’S?] the world to keep me growing and I want the world to never assume anything form me of me or settle on me. I want my next love to be as spontaneous as IO as fickle as I as deserving and unsettled as I. And all over once again. I never want to know what I want out of life that is just plain BORING!!!!!! Enough, I am sorry to have posted such a rude un-awakening and am sorry for my uncanny statements and overall lack of self preservations. Peace to all and all a good… Oh well at least this post well get the well deserved press it deserves and she will be happy! :2cents:




Funny how you can be funny without meaning to.
My Kill, there are enough "I's" in your old thread to make the whole world blind LOL.
mememememmemememememeememememmeme
Where are you at now?
Have you perused the nether world some more?
Are you going to France too? Maybe you can teach them some kissing?