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wbreitman
07-14-2008, 04:06 PM
And then the fight started.....

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go
home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....



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********
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My Gosh!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....



************************************************************************
********
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver
got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little
things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started... .


:wink::wink:
.......................................................................

RichT
07-24-2008, 12:12 PM
A Short Love Story


A man and a woman who had never met before but were both married to other people found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1 a.m., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet and get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own fuckin' blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.