helen
04-13-2008, 12:04 PM
any insight on raising kids that were brought up very differently? keeping the peace through major rearing differences?:heart:
View Full Version : blended families
shellebelle
04-13-2008, 02:47 PM
Depends on the age and the age difference.
I have raised several blended families and one thing usually works well.
Set house rules and stick with them.
Example: We had a house rule at one time that if you were under 12 you could play in the front yard but only with a buddy and you had to be together not each somewhere else playing independently. You also couldn't get your older brother to say he was buddying you then he disappear to the neighbors without the younger one. As you can see the rule developed as the hijinx did.
We also had no running from an argument. If you are having an argument you can move away (retreat and regroup) but not leave the house. Since the older ones would start something then leave and the younger ones were stuck dealing with the mess and the emotions they hadn't had a fair chance to work through.
We had a house rule no using the windows for entry.
There were many more developed as he kids developed and some were age appropriate and some were simply we don't do this period. But they were for the house not particularly a person and that is what made them a success.
And it was okay if the rules at my ex's or my spouses ex's and even the schools rules were different. Kids can adapt to rules as long as they know they are there and fair. Thats why household rules worked pretty darn well they were across the board.
any insight on raising kids that were brought up very differently? keeping the peace through major rearing differences?:heart:
I have raised several blended families and one thing usually works well.
Set house rules and stick with them.
Example: We had a house rule at one time that if you were under 12 you could play in the front yard but only with a buddy and you had to be together not each somewhere else playing independently. You also couldn't get your older brother to say he was buddying you then he disappear to the neighbors without the younger one. As you can see the rule developed as the hijinx did.
We also had no running from an argument. If you are having an argument you can move away (retreat and regroup) but not leave the house. Since the older ones would start something then leave and the younger ones were stuck dealing with the mess and the emotions they hadn't had a fair chance to work through.
We had a house rule no using the windows for entry.
There were many more developed as he kids developed and some were age appropriate and some were simply we don't do this period. But they were for the house not particularly a person and that is what made them a success.
And it was okay if the rules at my ex's or my spouses ex's and even the schools rules were different. Kids can adapt to rules as long as they know they are there and fair. Thats why household rules worked pretty darn well they were across the board.
any insight on raising kids that were brought up very differently? keeping the peace through major rearing differences?:heart:
Chalkline
04-13-2008, 09:14 PM
We had a house rule no using the windows for entry.
As a father of two shenanigan-devising children, I've gotta ask: Does this imply that using the windows for egress was perfectly ok?
As a father of two shenanigan-devising children, I've gotta ask: Does this imply that using the windows for egress was perfectly ok?
shellebelle
04-13-2008, 09:26 PM
LOL No but when I planted the sage under them it stopped everything. That stuff doesn't come off clothes easily and every mom knew where it had come from.
We did have some strange rules though. If you couldn't play nice with your siblings you obviously couldn't play nice with your stuff so all stuff went bye bye and you got to be grounded to your sibling. Quite literally that frequently meant that the sparring kids were stuck just being each others buds for like a week. A couple of times of that and man oh man could they negotiate with each other and avoid those fights.
As a father of two shenanigan-devising children, I've gotta ask: Does this imply that using the windows for egress was perfectly ok?
We did have some strange rules though. If you couldn't play nice with your siblings you obviously couldn't play nice with your stuff so all stuff went bye bye and you got to be grounded to your sibling. Quite literally that frequently meant that the sparring kids were stuck just being each others buds for like a week. A couple of times of that and man oh man could they negotiate with each other and avoid those fights.
As a father of two shenanigan-devising children, I've gotta ask: Does this imply that using the windows for egress was perfectly ok?