I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
Thank you again,
Mike
shellebelle
04-09-2008, 07:45 AM
I'm not sure I understand her urgency.
On the other side piercings are self statements which is all fine and dandy but not everyone has the same perception of you as you do. So depending on what her life work/career goals are she may want to wait longer.
I do not find security in having a doctor covered in piercings. It's my perception. Same with some other professions yet my graphic designer, fav musician, etc being tattooed and pierced doesn't bother me at all. There are quite a number of businesses that do not allow tattoos and piercings.
What I also hear is you said "no" as a team and now are re-evaluating it. Good to see you willing to relook at the issue and yet it could be sad if the case is that your daughter didn't/doesn't respect your "no".
My children are 6, 18 and 20 - my step kids are 20, 22, 24, 26 and 28 - only one has a tattoo/piercing yet many of their friends do. The one with the tattoo is having it removed at 28 he's out grown his message that at 16 he thought would be "forever". So instead of an extra vacation he's spending his money fixing mistakes. Piercings are harder to "fix".
<o:p></o:p> I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Thank you again,
Mike
alanora
04-09-2008, 09:00 AM
When she is 18 she no longer needs your permission. My goal was to make it there with only the ears pierced, and not entirely "for her good" but for my own as well. If she had done that to herself, especially the tongue one she initially wanted, I would have had great trouble looking at her without gut wrenching emotional response...not good. mindy btw, she joined the army and has pierced her navel and tatooed herself with some pretty amateur looking body art, which I have seen only on myspace.....mindy I miss her and love her...holes and all.
I'm not sure I understand her urgency.
On the other side piercings are self statements which is all fine and dandy but not everyone has the same perception of you as you do. So depending on what her life work/career goals are she may want to wait longer.
I do not find security in having a doctor covered in piercings. It's my perception. Same with some other professions yet my graphic designer, fav musician, etc being tattooed and pierced doesn't bother me at all. There are quite a number of businesses that do not allow tattoos and piercings.
What I also hear is you said "no" as a team and now are re-evaluating it. Good to see you willing to relook at the issue and yet it could be sad if the case is that your daughter didn't/doesn't respect your "no".
My children are 6, 18 and 20 - my step kids are 20, 22, 24, 26 and 28 - only one has a tattoo/piercing yet many of their friends do. The one with the tattoo is having it removed at 28 he's out grown his message that at 16 he thought would be "forever". So instead of an extra vacation he's spending his money fixing mistakes. Piercings are harder to "fix".
nurturetruth
04-09-2008, 11:09 AM
I have had a variety of piercings and 4 tattoos. Most of the tattoos placed in positions "not visible" to the "professional eye" and most of the piercings were done between the ages of 14 and 23.
As far as the piercings are concerned, there are younger girls than 14 in other countries who receive a nose ring as a "rite of passage" into adolescent-puberty or "womanhood". I support this.
My own parents allowed me to get my nose pierced with a small rhinestone when I received my first female "moon cycle" at age 14.
It wasn't until after I was 18 that I decided to finally loose the "simple" rhinestone look and got a silver hoop for my nose instead.
I realized that the silver hoop nose ring was a 'no go' to the professional eye and went back to the rhinestone for the duration of my 20's.
Now, at age 33, I have chosen to be nose ring free for a year to mark yet another passage of my journey of life.
There are so many changes a girl goes through around the adolescent years...especially with self acceptance or the desire to be accepted by others or even wanting to stand out and be "different".
My request is that you keep somewhat of an open mind and have a heart to heart talk with your daughter to discover the true reasons regarding her desire for a facial piercing .
Any desire for body piercings or tatt's need to be well thought out prior to.
If it is because "everyone else is doing it"....then that is not a good enough reason to do it, in my opinion. If it is to mark her "woman hood" phase in life or because she really wants it for herself...because she has an artistic side to her, fine.
Nose rings are more simple , easier to take care of regarding possible infections and more acceptable in the professional field-- especially if the rhinestone /jewel is small - medium sized.
She would need to start out with one of these for awhile any way, before she went for the actual nose "hoop ring" .
Also, if you allowed her to get her nose pierced, it would give her the chance to take some responsibility in caring for herself and her decisions in life. She would need to be the one to "follow the after the piercing instructions" by learning how to clean the piercing area and soaking her nose in warm salt water quite often.
* You may wish to actually "go to a piercing/tatt shop WITH her" to discuss what all the "after care treatment" involves. She could then decide responsibly whether or not she really wanted to to follow through with her desires. Plus, I am sure she would feel it was "kewl" to go into one of those "shops" with her father! *
By the way, just to be clear... I would NOT allow my child of the age 14 to have her nose septum done though! I wouldn't want him/her looking like a bull ! This is a decision for ages 18 and above I feel.
And as far as the eyebrow rings are concerned, they are not only more difficult to take care of regarding infections and are more painful to receive, but i am NOT attracted to them.
In my opinion they look obnoxious and stand out with a little silver barbell at first , then a possible hoop and does nothing to "improve looks".
PLUS.... the eyebrow ring will leave more of a mark when and if she ever decided to remove it . Where as, if she ever decided to one day remove the nose ring , it would hardly be noticeable.
If you live in west county, I would recommend visiting the Sensuality Store on Hwy 116. They have some simple " rhinestone jewels" for decorating the face. vYour daughter could experiment with putting a little jewel on her nose and seeing what she thinks and feels about the actuality of her nose being pierced. These simple jewels DO fall off fairly fast and do not adhere to the skin for too long. They can also sometimes be found in drug stores.
And if you find you are clearly not comfortable negotiating with her on the nose ring /eyebrow ring ideas, perhaps suggesting more ear piercings ?
I have observed MANY girls who have creative placed piercings "on" or "in" their ear. Though these areas can also be more difficult to "care for and heal up" than a simple nose ring.
Good luck !
:thumbsup:
handy
04-09-2008, 12:10 PM
Whether you go along with external piercings or not, please dissuade her from tongue piercing.
My brother, the head nurse in a cardiac cath lab, tells me that there has been a rise in the number of heart failure deaths over the last couple of decades. The rise in number has occurred almost exclusively in the 20 - 30 year old population.
Studies done in the US, Canada, UK and Germany point to tongue studs as the primary commonality and cause. Apparently, puncturing one of the busiest muscles in the body, as well as an internal organ with direct and constant access to the bloodstream, permits contamination causing low level internal infection. The infection seems to like the feathery edge of one of the heart valves. As it builds up, the valve begins to lose it's ability to seal properly and a leak develops. If not caught, it is lethal.
Perhaps having her do the research will put her off the idea. My oldest daughter had a tongue stud, and when my brother saw it, he jumped on her pretty hard with a pretty thorough description. She removed it immediately, and hasn't gone back.
Best regards, and
Good luck
Juggledude
04-09-2008, 12:15 PM
If you live in west county, I would recommend visiting the Sensuality Store on Hwy 116. They have some simple " rhinestone jewels" for decorating the face. vYour daughter could experiment with putting a little jewel on her nose and seeing what she thinks and feels about the actuality of her nose being pierced. These simple jewels DO fall off fairly fast and do not adhere to the skin for too long. They can also sometimes be found in drug stores.
Good luck !
:thumbsup:
Along these lines, my daughter has scored some spring loaded hoops, which allow her to experience the effect, on herself in the mirror as well as on the general population interacting with her, without punching holes in her head. These hoops were actually so realistic looking she was able to fool her friends, her teachers, and even her mother (for a short while). After a fascinating week or two playing at being pierced, it seems the novelty has worn off, for I have not seen these for a month or two.
Sorry, can't remember where we got them, but they were cheap... couple bucks for a pack of 5 or something.
keep caring!
Royce
MsTerry
04-09-2008, 12:32 PM
Mike
What are you really afraid of?
Afraid of how she looks or how she likes you?
You are the parent, right?
What is it you want to teach her?
quote=Mike Peterson;54640]<o:p> I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<o:p>
Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
Thank you again,
Mike[/QUOTE]</o:p></o:p>
mykil
04-09-2008, 01:33 PM
Soooo it all starts now. Are you ready? The more you fight with you daughter the more you will chase her away. A nose or eye piercing is not a big deal. Being fourteen is. You are going to go through hell for the next few years right up to the point when she turns eighteen! Then she will want to move back in! there will be no reasoning with her, there will be no arguing your point, you will not win. So why even try? LOL! The best thing you can do for her at this point is let her get a nose piercing and a live in boy friend! SAY WHAT? Ya a live in boy friend. It’s your only chance! No but a steady boy friend for sure. When they have a boy friend you don’t have to worry about them as much. You know where they are and what they are doing. When they break up with there boyfriend look out. Off to wild parties at all hours of the night and you cant even track them down till they get back together with the boy toy. Tough but true just you wait and see!!!!! LMAO!!! GOOD LUCK you are going to need it!!!:2cents:
debbus
04-09-2008, 05:14 PM
My daughter wanted a belly button ring at 14. I said no. She is now 18 and so glad that I was firm about it. I did let her experiment with her hair (which she regretted doing later) She is not the same person that she was at 14. Be the boss, that's really what they want and need you to be. This is what happens to teens; just like the terrible 2's, they are "practicing" separation and adulthood. At this age, they are searching to find themselves and fit in and at the same time, looking for guidance and support.
natspetmats
04-09-2008, 10:39 PM
Hi Mike, Be a parent. That is, be a leader. Be the in charge person, the one who knows what is best for your child, because you are that person. Talk about classic beauty and the long path ahead. She can do it when she's 18 or 21, but don't let her be silly now, because that's what she is, unseasoned and silly. Instill the thought of lasting beauty, beauty from character development. Look at old tatoos and piercings with infections. My nephew pierced his lip(on his 18th birthday), a few months later dropped mushrooms and awoke saying, it's all affectatious posturing. (YAY!) Protect your daughter and tell her you only want the best for her and you are acting in her best interests. She needs you to say Not Right Now. [email protected]
<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p> I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Thank you again,
Mike
charrer
04-09-2008, 11:31 PM
Hi Mike,
My sympathies! My now 23 yr old awesome grown-up woman daughter pierced everything she could herself when she was 15 or so. She still has a scar in one of her eyebrows from a self-piercing. Before she was 18 she went to SF and got a huge black spiky tatoo on her back. So far, she doesn't regret it. I was very upset at first (the requisite, satisfying (to the child), horrified parental reaction?) She's had the nose piercing, which was kind of gross, because it seemed like she was always picking at it, as it must have itched or something. She no longer has anything pierced but her ears.
Bottom line, I would say, it's better to have it done at the piercing salon than by herself or a friend. And please, no tongue piercing. I appreciate the post above regarding heart valve infection!
Cindy
alanora
04-10-2008, 08:48 AM
In addition to fractured teeth......and a speech impediment.......lol
Hi Mike,
My sympathies! My now 23 yr old awesome grown-up woman daughter pierced everything she could herself when she was 15 or so. She still has a scar in one of her eyebrows from a self-piercing. Before she was 18 she went to SF and got a huge black spiky tatoo on her back. So far, she doesn't regret it. I was very upset at first (the requisite, satisfying (to the child), horrified parental reaction?) She's had the nose piercing, which was kind of gross, because it seemed like she was always picking at it, as it must have itched or something. She no longer has anything pierced but her ears.
Bottom line, I would say, it's better to have it done at the piercing salon than by herself or a friend. And please, no tongue piercing. I appreciate the post above regarding heart valve infection!
Cindy
Braggi
04-10-2008, 09:19 AM
In addition to fractured teeth......and a speech impediment.......lol
Yeah. I have a friend who is a drummer and got a tongue piercing. The fool drums on his teeth with his little barbell. As far as I know, they haven't fallen apart yet; but they will.
As the father of a ten year old who got her ears pierced for her birthday, I'm appreciating this exchange. Four more years, eh Mike? Hmmm. So far my daughter maintains she's not interested in more piercings or tattoos.
We'll see ...
She loves being able to wear earrings.
-Jeff
amalia
04-10-2008, 11:30 AM
My daughter, upon turning 15 wanted a nose piercing - a small silver stud.
I told her that I needed time to think about and would let her know when I was ready with a decision. In the next 3 months I talked to lots of teens and parents who had experienced the piercing/tattoo decision. In the end I consented...and with a signed contract stating that there would be no additional piercings or tatoos until she turns 18. She "researched" it on the Internet and together we checked out some places on Santa Rosa Ave.
A few hours before we left for the piercing, I ran into the 16yr. old daughter of a friend who happened to have a nose piercing. She said that her parents had forbidden her from any piercing/tatoos until she turned 18. She and a friend then went to Berkeley,and found somebody on the street with a "parlor." Fortunately, everything went fine. Her parents discovered it within days, and of course blew up.
Take what you want from my story and may it be of help to you.
Amalia
I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Thank you again,
Mike[/quote]
Hummingbear
04-11-2008, 12:31 AM
For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
Wow, amazing how many people have thoughts to share on this.
My advice is, don't make it an age issue. Yes, 14-year-olds can do frivolous or impulsive things with long-term consequences, but so can 20-year-olds. Instead, make this a teaching opportunity for how to make decisions with long-term consequences.
When my daughter wanted a tattoo at age 15, I said, "that's an interesting idea. Let's both think about it and see how it feels in 6 months."
Sure enough, 6 months later she asked again, and I said, "What kind of tattoo?" and she told me what she had in mind--an Om on her belly. I thought that was a tasteful choice, and said so. And then I said, "let's see how you feel about that design in 6 months."
So again 6 months later she showed me the completed design that she had drafted, and I knew she was serious and committed. So it was a go, after a 1-year process, and very successful both for her self-esteem and for our relationship, as well as aesthetically.
Hummingbear
Melodymama
04-11-2008, 08:15 AM
"So again 6 months later she showed me the completed design that she had drafted, and I knew she was serious and committed. So it was a go, after a 1-year process, and very successful both for her self-esteem and for our relationship, as well as aesthetically." wrote Hummingbear
This is a great example of walking her through a process. I, too, have children who are now mid 20's who wanted to adorn their bodies. All has turned out well, and I learned a lot. Having counseled teens regarding learning to make better decisions as they work toward independence, the only advice I will give is what was handed to me years ago by another Mom in the same position.
The most important thing you can do is love them no matter what and keep the communication open. They may do things you forbid. At some point the consequences of their choices is clearly their issue. I am not advocating acceptance of all they do. Express your concerns, delineate the issues, give education. Still, the love is what keeps them coming back to you for more learning, more strength, more stability until they can move out into the world. As a parent this is the best gift we give them. I love and miss my children every day. They are beautiful to me in spite of and because of the decisions they made. We all learned and grew together. We are all stronger because of it and the bonds between us became stronger during those years when we did not always agree, and they did not always obey. Love is the salve. Best wishes Laura
thewholetruth
04-13-2008, 07:33 AM
My now 22 year old daughter is absolutely gorgeous. She wanted a nose piercing when she was 16 and we told her she needed to consider why she wanted to put a permanent scar on her perfect little nose. We also told her she needed to wait until she was 18 because we couldn't support putting holes in her face. When she turned 18 she pierced her nose. 6 months later she pierced her cheek with a stud (broke my heart to see her perfect face with holes punched in it! LOL). She's 22 now, doesn't wear either any longer, but still has the holes in her face as permanent little scars to remember her desperate need to "express herself". And yes, she regrets not taking our advice now. Ah well. I still have the 3 holes in one of my ears from my "need to express myself" days. Scars that divulge what a rebel I once was. LOL Interesting, that I'm still a rebel...only now I'm on the side of good, not evil, rebelling against the tide of selfishness and self-centeredness that used to own me. :thumbsup:
But I digress. I agree with a couple other posters: You're the dad. You're the shot caller, steward over her life right now. You get to make that call. She'll either respect your decision or ignore you. You can't control that. That's her call.
Don
I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
Thank you again,
Mike
meherc
04-13-2008, 07:16 PM
I have a teenaged daughter who periodically tells me she wants to get her nose pierced. I just tell her no, she can do what she wants to with her face when she is 18. God, I think those face piercings are so ugly. I do, however, let her dye her hair various colors, wear black eye makeup. Nothing permanent on my watch - no tattoos, no unwieldy piercings. I also did not let her pierce her ears until she was 12.
I think you can just tell her no. I actually think my kid is relieved that she can tell her friends that her mother would kill her if she did that. Of course, in real life, I don't make a big deal out of it at all, just "no".
My now 22 year old daughter is absolutely gorgeous. She wanted a nose piercing when she was 16 and we told her she needed to consider why she wanted to put a permanent scar on her perfect little nose. We also told her she needed to wait until she was 18 because we couldn't support putting holes in her face. When she turned 18 she pierced her nose. 6 months later she pierced her cheek with a stud (broke my heart to see her perfect face with holes punched in it! LOL). She's 22 now, doesn't wear either any longer, but still has the holes in her face as permanent little scars to remember her desperate need to "express herself". And yes, she regrets not taking our advice now. Ah well. I still have the 3 holes in one of my ears from my "need to express myself" days. Scars that divulge what a rebel I once was. LOL Interesting, that I'm still a rebel...only now I'm on the side of good, not evil, rebelling against the tide of selfishness and self-centeredness that used to own me. :thumbsup:
But I digress. I agree with a couple other posters: You're the dad. You're the shot caller, steward over her life right now. You get to make that call. She'll either respect your decision or ignore you. You can't control that. That's her call.
Don
danejasper
04-23-2008, 12:11 AM
Along these lines, my daughter has scored some spring loaded hoops, which allow her to experience the effect, on herself in the mirror as well as on the general population interacting with her, without punching holes in her head. These hoops were actually so realistic looking she was able to fool her friends, her teachers, and even her mother (for a short while). After a fascinating week or two playing at being pierced, it seems the novelty has worn off, for I have not seen these for a month or two.
Along these lines, they've got lots of amazing products that use those crazy strong rare earth magnets. Here's a resource:
Maybe you make a deal with her - wear the magnetic version for the next four years, and she can then do whatever she likes! =)
-Dane
retirednurse45
05-27-2008, 02:26 PM
18 most definitely!my kid came home with piercing when he was 10 and I was not a happy momma!
I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
Thank you again,
Mike
kpgpr
05-28-2008, 08:22 AM
18 most definitely!my kid came home with piercing when he was 10 and I was not a happy momma!
I think the older the teen, the better. These are my reasons:
1) At 14 the emotions still run the full gamut and many, if not all of today's "wants and desires" can soon become discarded.
2) Appropriate care must be taken to keep the pierced area clean. Sometimes that can be an issue for teens who may "forget" or who may think the rules of health don't apply to them.
3) As parents, you are still in charge. In fact, your consent (for children under 18) should be required at all professional piercing sites.
I've got a 14 yr old, too, and at this time I wouldn't allow her to pierce her face for the above reasons. It will be helpful for you to be clear about your decision to support or disallow the face piercing. If it is something you will allow now or in the next year or two, offer to take your teen to a professional shop (with a nice selection of hypoallergenic piercing items) so that the piercing is correctly done. Be prepared should the piercing occur even if disallowed. Think of what consequences (if any) there may be if your 14 year old lies about age and gets a piercing anyway (or has friends do it!).
Good luck!
loi
06-20-2008, 05:46 PM
my 13 year old daughter also wants facial piercings but most of them i won't agree to for many of the reasons listed below. the only exception is that that i will let her get her nose pierced (as an honoring of her "becoming a woman.)
the thing is, there aren't any places around our area that will perform this piercing on anyone younger than 15 - which might make your dilemma a moot point.
good luck with what you decide and don't feel pressured into anything!
I would like to ask the community here for advice. I will greatly appreciate anything that anyone has to contribute. Thank you ahead of time.
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Our 14 year old daughter insists on getting a facial piercing, either on one of her eyebrows or on her nose, and as soon as possible. My wife and I both think that she should wait longer before doing this. I need people's general observations, their opinions, their experiences, and their objections or support. For example, what age do you think it would be OK for a facial piercing? 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18?
Thank you again,
Mike
thewholetruth
06-21-2008, 01:03 AM
[quote=loi;62112]my 13 year old daughter also wants facial piercings but most of them i won't agree to for many of the reasons listed below. the only exception is that that i will let her get her nose pierced (as an honoring of her "becoming a woman.) [quote]
How does getting her nose pierced honor her becoming a woman? Is that some foreign cultural ritual I'm unaware of? Logically, and being raised American, I could see throwing a party to celebrate. I'm just not seeing how piercing her nose has anything to do with honor or with becoming a woman.
I'm just being honest, not trying to insult you. I hope you don't mind explaining it for me.
Lenny
06-21-2008, 05:59 AM
[quote=loi;62112]my 13 year old daughter also wants facial piercings but most of them i won't agree to for many of the reasons listed below. the only exception is that that i will let her get her nose pierced (as an honoring of her "becoming a woman.)
How does getting her nose pierced honor her becoming a woman? Is that some foreign cultural ritual I'm unaware of? Logically, and being raised American, I could see throwing a party to celebrate. I'm just not seeing how piercing her nose has anything to do with honor or with becoming a woman. I'm just being honest, not trying to insult you. I hope you don't mind explaining it for me.
Don, the piercing and becoming a woman don't have anything to do with each other. One may consider it "foreign" and, in the old places and days, it was. But here in Sonoma, this day and age, it is like morality: we all just share the same notions and ideas, therefore it has "meaning". One of the problems with this "meaning" is that it is not "forever", which is an important component in "meaning", so people keep looking for new "meaning". That's the way the world bounces or is it 'rolls along'?
thewholetruth
06-21-2008, 07:01 AM
[quote=donc1955;62144]
Don, the piercing and becoming a woman don't have anything to do with each other. One may consider it "foreign" and, in the old places and days, it was. But here in Sonoma, this day and age, it is like morality: we all just share the same notions and ideas, therefore it has "meaning". One of the problems with this "meaning" is that it is not "forever", which is an important component in "meaning", so people keep looking for new "meaning". That's the way the world bounces or is it 'rolls along'?
I see. I'm still interested in the poster's answer. Also, Lenny, you're speaking in general, I imagine, as we don't all share the same notions and ideas here in Sonoma County.
As an aside: I wouldn't let my daughter pierce her perfect little nose or gorgeous face while she lived at home, and told her she would regret making such permanent holes in her face. She got them both done after she turned 18 and moved out. She's 22 now and doesn't wear any facial jewelry anymore but she still has the holes in her face to show that she once did.
Mrs. Wacco
06-21-2008, 01:53 PM
my 13 year old daughter also wants facial piercings but most of them i won't agree to for many of the reasons listed below. the only exception is that that i will let her get her nose pierced (as an honoring of her "becoming a woman.)
the thing is, there aren't any places around our area that will perform this piercing on anyone younger than 15 - which might make your dilemma a moot point.
good luck with what you decide and don't feel pressured into anything!
When both my kids wanted body augmentation at young ages: tattoos at 11 or 12 for the son and face piercings at 13 for the daughter, I disallowed both because kids that age make decisions for themselves that last about 6 months. I reminded them of all the changes they made around what style clothes they wear, what friends that had or no longer had, what activities they no longer liked that they loved the previous year. Change is the norm. I wasn't going to allow them to make permanent decisions when their world view is so impermanent.
My daughter got to pierce her nose at the ripe age of 16, so small that if she did change her mind it wouldn't be such an obvious thing, and my son pierced his eyebrow at the age of 20, when I no longer had a say.
My advice: follow your gut. if it feels like a "no", then it's a "No".