O.K So What Does Anybody Really Want?

[Tinque]

I have been reading this whole topic with so much heartfull thought and complete integrity. I think at different times in our lives we want different things. Sometimes they are wise choices and many times not. We all want to learn from our mistakes and we seldom really do. When it comes to our feelings and love we can all be so off kilter with any realistic judgments. Of course this is only my opinion so please do not take this in any way offensively. There are some out there I am sure that can never have experienced the absolute agony of love or lust or desire and I actually ,at times, wish I was one of them, but I am not and I cannot say that it has been all agony ! I am a lover and I want to believe in people. I realize in "the real world" , I will be disappointed, I will disappoint others and we are all just trying to be loved and maintain in our crazy world. We all really need each other. This is something I TRULY believe in. I know several of you do as well !:heart::heart:

[decterlove]

That's funny...lose the gender angle all together....


I think we all want most of the same general things...it's just that sometimes one thing is more important to one person than another...and sometime the way we perceive the best path to our general needs and desires is very different from another persons.

Big Themes.....

Security--Economic and otherwise---Emotional/Trust, etc..
Belonging---extension of companionship---partnership/community
Companionship---idyllic and practical---Love Transcendent and Garden varieties.
Pleasure---Sexual and otherwise---maybe enjoy the same hobbies/music/activities/etc
Validations---achieved in part through bonding/interacting with others that share our general view of the world....

But for each of us there is a very different formula for reaching any of the above----example---one person's sense of security is someone who brings home a big paycheck and affords a large house/good neighborhood/schools/etc............and another person finds security in someone who can express themselves well in intimate relationships and feel safe to be around....

just shooting from the hip here, but it's nice of you to frame the question, initially at least, gender free.....

[shellebelle]

I like this! Its true gender doesn't matter. Whether friends or lovers and everything in between I think we all look for some form of whats already been mentioned. When I imagine my new friend I don't think female or male personally I think of the qualities that are important to me and to my life. I don't care which gender it is packaged in!

[Melodymama]

I am a lover and I want to believe in people. I realize in "the real world" , I will be disappointed, I will disappoint others and we are all just trying to be loved and maintain in our crazy world. We all really need each other. This is something I TRULY believe in. I know several of you do as well !:heart::heart:

I am one who believes this as well. When the arenas of one's life change, the challenge of finding new relationships that are trustful and trustworthy is difficult and exciting. I am also finding that I am learning as much from my own methods of interacting and how I eliminate some options early on based on misinformation stored from previous situations. I guess we all develop blinders and then blinders for the blinders. To walk in the world with a loving and curious heart as the lead (I do try to keep my brain in gear; 'cruisomatic') and patience, watching what develops is heartening. I need and want many types of friends and am lucky to have many who will be honest when they do not agree with me. I have enjoyed a long intimate relationship and hope to again, and in the meantime, I love having wonderful friends to help and hold me as I do them. We are all evolving and staying open is the only way to do that as far as I can tell. :hifive: Laura

[decterlove]

Great sex? I dunno? Someone who will take out the garbage? I'm just guessing wildly now!