Caregiver Abuse
There is something that I have been meaning to say for a long time about abuse of people who private individuals employ to take care of their aging parents. Much is being said and done about elder abuse, maybe not enough. But I don’t think that these organizations are getting to a very important part of the problem; that many caregivers are underpaid, abused and neglected. I called an organization called the Redwood Empire Caregivers Resource Center which provides resources for elderly caregivers that are family members of the elderly person being cared for. When I asked for help and information, I was told that if I was not a family member of the elderly person, they couldn’t help me. They didn’t give a reason why, they only said that their purpose is to help the family. Professional caregivers have to deal with a lot of the same issues, and I really don’t understand why this organization cannot expand its agenda and help those who depend on this very underpaid, underappreciated and essential profession for a livelihood.
As the population ages, and we all know that aging baby boomers make up such a large portion of the population, this is going to become more and more critical.
As of now, caregivers suffer in silence, receive low wages, if they receive any at all, and are abused by family members who want to find the cheapest and easiest way to care for their aging parents, without cutting too much into their inheritance. There are a few organizations, primarily on the East Coast that are working for caregiver rights, through unionization. For some reason this has been slow to catch on out here. But something needs to be done. And I’m thinking it needs to start with us. We need to plan for our elder years to ensure we receive good care and that our caregivers are treated fairly and compensated in a way that makes them feel appreciated, and able to live above the poverty level. Does anyone have any referrals to organizations that would help with this? Or, do we need to start something like this on a grassroots level?
Are there any other caregivers out there who have stories to share? Maybe if all of this is out in the open people will understand the problem and want to help.
boomerfashion
01-03-2008, 07:12 AM
I am a baby boomer, my parents are elderly and I am basically in charge of their care. Although they live "independently", my parents require full time care (9AM-8PM, 7 days a week). We have two people share the responsibilities and hours. I feel as if I've found two angels to watch over my folks and allow me to live my life without spending every second worrying about their safety. We know that eventually we will need 24/7 but for now, this is working.
My parents spent their whole lives working and saving so that they could, first and foremost, raise my sister and me and then travel and enjoy retirement. Unfortunately, as soon as they retired, my father got sick with one malady after another and after 15 years of bearing up under the stress of this, now my mom is failing as well, both mentally and physically.
Their caregivers are well paid (and rightly so), well trained and experienced. We treat them as part of our family, they bring their kids over to visit and even occasionally visit my folks on their days off. I am sure my parents can be very difficult at times; a lot of unexpressed anger over their situation coupled with basic aging difficulties. Part of having an experienced caregiver is knowing that they can handle any transgressions and admittedly, my parents are, at their core, kind and loving people. Although it is unfortunate that they are spending their life savings on care instead of retirement recreation, at least they have the means to cover themselves. I realize this is not the case with everyone. My parents are not and have never been wealthy financially but just worked hard and saved.
Are you saying that hired caregivers are sometimes abused but do nothing about it? Is that because they are so dependent on the income and there are not enough opportunities for employment? It would seem that there is some sort of choice here, although my only experience is within my own family and the type of abuse you refer to is not something I'm familiar with. Someone who does snot have the skills and/or experience to take care of elderly people should not purport to be able to do so. My response to your post and asking of these questions is not to challenge what you are claiming; I find it hard to believe that the majority of caregivers are abused, under paid or not paid at all and taken advantage of by family members wanting to find the "cheapest and easiest way to care for their aging parents, without cutting too much into their inheritance".
Call me naive but I don't think I am alone is the idea that nothing would make my happier than to have my parents be able to remain in their own apartment with good care until the end of their lives. I don't think I am in the minority when I say that my "inheritance", which would have been substantial, is better spent on their comfort.
I think I am just missing how you arrived at these conclusions. That being said, we all know about the problems in nursing homes and care facilities, in terms of the patients being abused. I don't quite get how caregiver abuse is the bigger issue. The caregivers certainly have more choices than the people receiving/needing the care.
Caregiver Abuse
There is something that I have been meaning to say for a long time about abuse of people who private individuals employ to take care of their aging parents. Much is being said and done about elder abuse, maybe not enough. But I don’t think that these organizations are getting to a very important part of the problem; that many caregivers are underpaid, abused and neglected. I called an organization called the Redwood Empire Caregivers Resource Center which provides resources for elderly caregivers that are family members of the elderly person being cared for. When I asked for help and information, I was told that if I was not a family member of the elderly person, they couldn’t help me. They didn’t give a reason why, they only said that their purpose is to help the family. Professional caregivers have to deal with a lot of the same issues, and I really don’t understand why this organization cannot expand its agenda and help those who depend on this very underpaid, underappreciated and essential profession for a livelihood.
As the population ages, and we all know that aging baby boomers make up such a large portion of the population, this is going to become more and more critical.
As of now, caregivers suffer in silence, receive low wages, if they receive any at all, and are abused by family members who want to find the cheapest and easiest way to care for their aging parents, without cutting too much into their inheritance. There are a few organizations, primarily on the East Coast that are working for caregiver rights, through unionization. For some reason this has been slow to catch on out here. But something needs to be done. And I’m thinking it needs to start with us. We need to plan for our elder years to ensure we receive good care and that our caregivers are treated fairly and compensated in a way that makes them feel appreciated, and able to live above the poverty level. Does anyone have any referrals to organizations that would help with this? Or, do we need to start something like this on a grassroots level?
Are there any other caregivers out there who have stories to share? Maybe if all of this is out in the open people will understand the problem and want to help.
Dark Shadows
01-03-2008, 09:42 PM
I never said that caregiver abuse was a bigger issue than elder abuse. I said it was a very important part of the problem:
"Much is being said and done about elder abuse, maybe not enough. But I don’t think that these organizations are getting to a very important part of the problem; that many caregivers are underpaid, abused and neglected."
When a caregiver is abused, they are psychologically less likely to be able to do the best possible job in caring for an elderly person. And, because of economics, many of these people do not have "a choice", as you believe.
I think that this excerpt from an article posted on Media Rights says it best:
For generations, domestic workers in the U.S. have lived the legacy of slavery- women of color whose work is isolated, invisible, lacking set hours or clear job responsibilities yet consistently long hours for low wages, while commonly facing discrimination, harassment and unjust firings. Now a growing workforce of immigrant women of color escaping poverty created by U.S.-driven neoliberal policies abroad, domestic workers working within the U.S. borders remain systematically excluded from some of the most basic labor rights such as protection from unjust firing and discrimination. And, after working long hours in their employers' homes, they raise and care for their own families.
Come hear the testimonies of the nannies, housekeepers and elderly caregivers whose labor provides the backbone for the NY economy. Support their call for a Domestic Workers Bill of Rights in NY State, including a livable wage, notice of termination, severance pay, paid vacation and sick days, health care and protection from discrimination and unjust firing. Their call is one of many voices in a growing international movement of domestic workers for respect, dignity and justice.
Sponsored by Domestic Workers United and Global Rights
Domestic Workers United is an organization nannies, housekeepers and elderly caregivers from the Caribbean, Latin America and Africa working to build power, raise the level of respect for domestic work, establish fair labor standards and help build a movement to end exploitation once and for all. DWU works in close partnership with Andolan Organizing South Asian Workers, Damayan Migrant Workers Association, Haitian Women for Haitian Refugees, Unity Housecleaners and Women Workers Project of CAAAV to collectively build the domestic workers movement in New York.
I am a baby boomer, my parents are elderly and I am basically in charge of their care. Although they live "independently", my parents require full time care (9AM-8PM, 7 days a week). We have two people share the responsibilities and hours. I feel as if I've found two angels to watch over my folks and allow me to live my life without spending every second worrying about their safety. We know that eventually we will need 24/7 but for now, this is working.
My parents spent their whole lives working and saving so that they could, first and foremost, raise my sister and me and then travel and enjoy retirement. Unfortunately, as soon as they retired, my father got sick with one malady after another and after 15 years of bearing up under the stress of this, now my mom is failing as well, both mentally and physically.
Their caregivers are well paid (and rightly so), well trained and experienced. We treat them as part of our family, they bring their kids over to visit and even occasionally visit my folks on their days off. I am sure my parents can be very difficult at times; a lot of unexpressed anger over their situation coupled with basic aging difficulties. Part of having an experienced caregiver is knowing that they can handle any transgressions and admittedly, my parents are, at their core, kind and loving people. Although it is unfortunate that they are spending their life savings on care instead of retirement recreation, at least they have the means to cover themselves. I realize this is not the case with everyone. My parents are not and have never been wealthy financially but just worked hard and saved.
Are you saying that hired caregivers are sometimes abused but do nothing about it? Is that because they are so dependent on the income and there are not enough opportunities for employment? It would seem that there is some sort of choice here, although my only experience is within my own family and the type of abuse you refer to is not something I'm familiar with. Someone who does snot have the skills and/or experience to take care of elderly people should not purport to be able to do so. My response to your post and asking of these questions is not to challenge what you are claiming; I find it hard to believe that the majority of caregivers are abused, under paid or not paid at all and taken advantage of by family members wanting to find the "cheapest and easiest way to care for their aging parents, without cutting too much into their inheritance".
Call me naive but I don't think I am alone is the idea that nothing would make my happier than to have my parents be able to remain in their own apartment with good care until the end of their lives. I don't think I am in the minority when I say that my "inheritance", which would have been substantial, is better spent on their comfort.
I think I am just missing how you arrived at these conclusions. That being said, we all know about the problems in nursing homes and care facilities, in terms of the patients being abused. I don't quite get how caregiver abuse is the bigger issue. The caregivers certainly have more choices than the people receiving/needing the care.
phooph
01-05-2008, 10:21 AM
I used to be a caregiver. I had a live in job and it provided me with free housing and a small stipend which was very helpful in augmenting my other self employed work. Unfortunately the person I was caring for decided to go off her antidepressant and became psychotic and paranoid. She began to accuse me of all manner of criminal activity and reported this to Human Services. I spoke with her social worker and explained what had happened with her and that the client also owed me money. I was told that I had no rights in the situation.
After learning from one of my client's friends that she had once been her caretaker and had left after being beaten with a cane, I realized that for my own safety I had to leave. (The client was six foot tall and over 200 lbs.) Fortunately a friend took me in till I was able to find another place to live.
I had one prior experience of care taking someone with MS several years earlier. This was not a live in position, but the person lived in my neighborhood. At the time I had a house cleaning business and she had originally contacted me to clean her house, and as I was experienced with a macrobiotic diet, I also did her cooking as she was on that diet. I understood her frustration with her disability and state of dependancy on others but found the demands she placed on me to be onerous. Because I lived nearby she felt she could call me at any time and ask me to do all sorts of things for her. She would also become verbally abusive when she wasn't feeling well, which was often.
Because of these experiences I no longer do care taking work, but I am very aware that it is one of the few professions available for a lot of low income and minority individuals. It is also in growing demand as the population ages. I forsee the development of organizations to support this sector of the workforce. There is or was one for people paid by the state for care of people on SSI disability. It is primarily a lobbying organization which focuses on wages and was successful in the past with increasing the hourly wage for care workers. I am no longer on their mailing list and do not remember the name of the organization.
Ruth
I never said that caregiver abuse was a bigger issue than elder abuse. I said it was a very important part of the problem:
"Much is being said and done about elder abuse, maybe not enough. But I don’t think that these organizations are getting to a very important part of the problem; that many caregivers are underpaid, abused and neglected."
When a caregiver is abused, they are psychologically less likely to be able to do the best possible job in caring for an elderly person. And, because of economics, many of these people do not have "a choice", as you believe.
I think that this excerpt from an article posted on Media Rights says it best:
For generations, domestic workers in the U.S. have lived the legacy of slavery- women of color whose work is isolated, invisible, lacking set hours or clear job responsibilities yet consistently long hours for low wages, while commonly facing discrimination, harassment and unjust firings. Now a growing workforce of immigrant women of color escaping poverty created by U.S.-driven neoliberal policies abroad, domestic workers working within the U.S. borders remain systematically excluded from some of the most basic labor rights such as protection from unjust firing and discrimination. And, after working long hours in their employers' homes, they raise and care for their own families.
Come hear the testimonies of the nannies, housekeepers and elderly caregivers whose labor provides the backbone for the NY economy. Support their call for a Domestic Workers Bill of Rights in NY State, including a livable wage, notice of termination, severance pay, paid vacation and sick days, health care and protection from discrimination and unjust firing. Their call is one of many voices in a growing international movement of domestic workers for respect, dignity and justice.
Sponsored by Domestic Workers United and Global Rights
Domestic Workers United is an organization nannies, housekeepers and elderly caregivers from the Caribbean, Latin America and Africa working to build power, raise the level of respect for domestic work, establish fair labor standards and help build a movement to end exploitation once and for all. DWU works in close partnership with Andolan Organizing South Asian Workers, Damayan Migrant Workers Association, Haitian Women for Haitian Refugees, Unity Housecleaners and Women Workers Project of CAAAV to collectively build the domestic workers movement in New York.
sheila d
01-06-2008, 09:44 AM
Hello: Iam a caregiver(for 30+ yrs.) and also a babyboomer. So I have a little experience in the caregiving field.
I have had some very tough situations I've delt with, but have to say Ive had some really wonderful families Ive stayed with for yrs. until the patient passed away.
I think most of us in this field can get a "gut" feeling when we meet a family or begin to work with someone. Red flags should tell us to run as fast as we can...politely. Case in point , someone who has had along list of caregivers in short time etc. Also someone that does alot of blaming regarding their caregivers. I also ask for references..You learn alot that way.
I also have learned we teach people how to treat us, if we dont set boundries or let them know up front what we expect, things can go bad quickly.
I think who we get our work thru makes a big difference too. There are many agencies in this area that really back their employee. Also if we get jobs thru word of mouth, past experience tells us alot.
We as caregivers have every right to be selective as to who we choose to work for as they us. I know when we need money its hard to be so selective, but we need to be cautious.
I know its a tough world out there for caregivers with competition,people afraid to hire strangers( because those who have abused elders) worry about taxes etc. But it is such an important job, and will only be more needed with the medical field the way it is & our aging population.
It is a very hard job, physically and mentally. Caregiver support groups is really what we need more of.
Open to suggestions. Sheila