"Coming out of the closet" became a rallying cry for gays, lesbians, and other queer folks back in the 1970's. But times have changed!
Maybe it's become inappropriate again to talk about one's sexuality in public such as simply saying: "I'm gay." Maybe we need to roll back a little bit (but not too much) the gains made by the gay movement? Maybe we need to go back to hiding a bit, with one foot in the closet door? Maybe gay marriage is going too far?
Maybe coming out is nothing more than uncouth, vulgar, shocking, disgusting, or a poorly veiled attempt at 'cruising' or maybe it's showing poor boundaries, or something else that serves as a reason to stop coming out.
Maybe now that the gay movement has made so much progress in the last 30 years or so, it's no longer necessary to blurt out one's sexual orientation publicly and embarrassing the people present and making a public spectacle? Maybe coming out is an old thing, old fashioned, and best kept private these days just like "normal" people keep their sex lives private?
An example of the extent that this concept has enriched our culture is that the phrase, "coming out" or being a "closet _____(fill in the blank)" have become part of everyday humor, applicable to anyone or anything.
Please vote on how you feel about "coming out today" and even add your own option if you don't see one you like.
Thank you for voicing your opinion,
Edward
theindependenteye
12-30-2007, 10:52 PM
> I'm baffled by your post. If you want a date, why not post in the relationships forum, and it's certainly in your best interest to indicate your preferences.
Dear Clancy--
And I'm baffled by yours. Do the Ron Paul supporters posting here all want to go to bed with Ron Paul? Do the math freaks want a hot babe to tattoo formulae on their backsides? Maybe so, but the evidence isn't sufficient for indictment.
Maybe Zeno is right that we're all doing a sort of flirtation whenever we post, though I'd liken it more to creating personae in that 2nd Life site but without the cheesy furniture. Your comment leaves a sour taste with me, though maybe it's intended as humor. In which case, ha.
I'm wondering what sort of date you're looking for?
Peace--
Conrad
MsTerry
12-31-2007, 10:22 AM
Clancy, you got to the core of things.
Edward, I suggest you post a picture of yourself, tell us where you live, work or shop. Maybe let us know what places you frequently visit, that way, when we do run into you, you really are out of the closet.
And give us your real name.
As far as I am concerned, you are still in the closet, since I don't know you.
Since he's just text on a screen to most of us, even his gender is irrelevant.
Zeno Swijtink
12-31-2007, 05:15 PM
Edward,
You voted that "people need to assert their pride."
Could you say more about this? What are you proud of, and why do you feel a need to assert that pride?
My dictionary defines "pride" as
"a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired."
I realize that this is how it's often talked about, "gay pride" and such, but it has always puzzled me.
Thanks
Valley Oak
12-31-2007, 07:10 PM
The online Oxford English Dictionary defines pride as:<o:p></o:p>
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• noun 1 a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from achievements, qualities, or possessions. 2 a cause or source of such a feeling. 3 consciousness of one’s own dignity. 4 the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself. 5 a group of lions forming a social unit.
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First, I think that definition number three fits the best. Second, I am not an English philologist but I am taking a queue from the annual Gay Pride celebration in San Francisco. I think that these two explanations might help answer your question about what I'm proud of and might start to explain a need to assert that pride.
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Other reasons for the need to assert that pride I already posted in a previous message although not in this thread. Anyhow, I would say that people need to be publicly visible about who and what they are and not live in fear of retribution from bigotry and homophobia. The more 'out' people are then the more accustom the rest of the society becomes to something 'queer,' at least that's my opinion.
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Perhaps part of the debate here in Wacco that has spurred so much objection is the fact that peoples' sexuality is a very personal thing and most folks don't like talking about such stuff, not out in the open anyway. But in an age where gays have been murdered on many occasions throughout the United States and that there is so much hatred towards an entire community of people for no other reason than their sexual orientation, then this requires that 'queer' folk be 'out' and be as publicly visible possible. The idea behind this is to get a homophobic American public used to the reality of non-mainstream human sexuality and help take the edge off of the hatred, the discrimination, the misunderstanding, and even the killing.
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Just a couple of examples of murder of queer folk are Matthew Shepard and Teena Brandon:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Shepard
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teena_Brandon
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In that rural, Midwestern town, Humboldt, Nebraska (very conservative, right wing, cow boyish, and religious) where Teena Brandon was murdered, there was organized for an extended period of time a group of transvestites in the middle of that town. This was done deliberately, of course, and had the expected effect on the local town folk: they got used to queer folk being around, right in their faces, whether they liked it or not. This helped take the edge off of their homophobic attitudes. Don't get me wrong, they probably still hold those bigoted views but I do assume that they are now a little more decaffeinated. I expect (maybe I'm wrong) that yet other folks, probably the younger ones, have a more accepting view of queers and such.
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<!--[endif]-->That's all I can think of right now but if you have anymore questions, please feel free to ask.
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Happy New Year,
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Edward
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Edward,
You voted that "people need to assert their pride."
Could you say more about this? What are you proud of, and why do you feel a need to assert that pride?
My dictionary defines "pride" as
"a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired."
I realize that this is how it's often talked about, "gay pride" and such, but it has always puzzled me.