How about a few giggles and silliness?

[ChristineL]

I have no idea if this is the right category to put this post in...but the trolling thread has gotten to me...I'm tired...so I'll post some silly things that were roaming around in my head for no apparent reason.

Years ago, when I was living in NYC and taking public transportation a lot, they used to have these rather amusing poetry posters on the bus, two of them stuck in my head and popped up recently:

It raineth
it raineth on the just and
it raineth on the unjust
it raineth more on the just
as the unjust have
taken the just's umbrella

I still do my best to be one of the just, but I think I have learned to hang on to my umbrella.

The other one:

Man in his ignorance
wants to be a woman's first love
Woman in her wisdom
only wants to be a man's last

At the time my relationship experiences told me there was a lot of truth to that.

My two favorite bumper stickers:

"GO AHEAD, HONK WHILE I RELOAD"

".....VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNALS...."

Favorite No Trespassing sign:

"NO TRESPASSING
OWNER HAS MENOPAUSE
AND A GUN"

Ever notice the biggest "Beware of Dog Sign" often has a chihuahua barking his head off behind it?

Of course there's always: "NEVER MIND THE DOG, BEWARE OF THE
OWNER"

[Clancy]

How about a joke?


Einstein's chauffeur...

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another tuxedo and gown dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks and manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times, I'll bet I could give it for you."

Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.

Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

[decterlove]

Those are both real sweet, guys. I won't even try to improve upon them. Now you're making me nostalgic for N.Y.C. Christine...never saw any funny posters on the subway but I did see a lot of things. (including Woody Allen once in Central Park...)

[Willie Lumplump]

I have no idea if this is the right category to put this post in...but the trolling thread has gotten to me...I'm tired...so I'll post some silly things that were roaming around in my head for no apparent reason.
Me, too. I had been living in the Congo for a couple of years when one evening I was sitting around a table drinking beer with some of the villagers and ag technicians. A few minutes into the conversation I got an eerie feeling that something was amiss, but as I couldn't identify it, I just kept on talking and drinking. As the minutes went buy, the feeling became unmistakable. Something was going on, and I was the only person in the room who didn't know what it was. Finally, the technician seated across from me asked,

"Docteur, pourquoi guardez-vous votre verre comme cela?" "Doctor, why do you guard your glass like that?"

I looked down at my glass, which I was resting on my lap. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Like what?" I inquired.

"Like that," came the answer, "you're holding your glass close to you."

"Yeah," I replied, "does that mean something special?" At that moment I noticed that all of my comrades had placed their drinks on the table. I was the only one holding a drink in his hands.

"Well, doctor, in the Congo when you hold your glass close to you like that, it means that you think someone is trying to poison you."

[MsTerry]

.
A few minutes into the conversation I got an eerie feeling that something was amiss, but as I couldn't identify it, I just kept on talking and drinking.
La Docteur had a paranormal experience?