Lorrie
11-07-2007, 05:47 PM
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 4.5pt; background: cornsilk none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="cornsilk" valign="top"><table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" height="92" width="342"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: navy none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="navy" border="1" cellpadding="0" height="112" width="310"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Jeff's".
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 13.5pt;">
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: navy none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="navy" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
<> A fool and his money
can throw one hell of a party.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 2.25pt outset ;" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" height="73" width="280"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">when blondes have more fun do they know it? </td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="background: rgb(240, 240, 240) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="#f0f0f0" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="6"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 12pt;">Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 3pt outset ; background: maroon none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="maroon" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 13.5pt;">
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="background: silver none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="silver" border="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">
money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="white" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="white" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
<> Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ;" background="https://sky_m.jpg" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 7.5pt;">Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: rgb(255, 255, 204) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="#ffffcc" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: green none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="green" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
Red meat is not bad for you.
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: green none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="green" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
Friends don't let friends
take uglyMENhome.
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 2.25pt outset ; background: maroon none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="maroon" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 15pt;">Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs. </td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 4.5pt outset ; background: rgb(255, 255, 204) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="#ffffcc" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="6"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">
Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: silver none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="silver" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">Gaseous clouds
have been detected
around Uranus. </td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 15pt; background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="white">ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 2.25pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 15pt;"><>
GUN CONTROL:
using both hands
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 3pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 13.5pt;">
The more I learn about terrorism,
the more I understand the phone company.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 3pt outset ; background: green none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="green" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 12pt;">The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population
</td></tr></tbody></table>
</td></tr></tbody></table>
Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant"
is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist ".
but how you place the blame.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: navy none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="navy" border="1" cellpadding="0" height="112" width="310"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Jeff's".
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 13.5pt;">
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: navy none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="navy" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
<> A fool and his money
can throw one hell of a party.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 2.25pt outset ;" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" height="73" width="280"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">when blondes have more fun do they know it? </td></tr><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="background: rgb(240, 240, 240) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="#f0f0f0" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="6"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 12pt;">Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 3pt outset ; background: maroon none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="maroon" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 13.5pt;">
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="background: silver none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="silver" border="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">
money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="white" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="white" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
<> Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ;" background="https://sky_m.jpg" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 7.5pt;">Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: rgb(255, 255, 204) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="#ffffcc" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: green none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="green" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
Red meat is not bad for you.
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: green none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="green" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">
One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
Friends don't let friends
take uglyMENhome.
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 2.25pt outset ; background: maroon none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="maroon" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 15pt;">Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs. </td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 4.5pt outset ; background: rgb(255, 255, 204) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="#ffffcc" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="6"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 9pt;">
Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: silver none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="silver" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10.5pt;">Gaseous clouds
have been detected
around Uranus. </td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 1.5pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 15pt; background: white none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="white">ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 2.25pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 15pt;"><>
GUN CONTROL:
using both hands
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 3pt outset ; background: black none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="black" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 13.5pt;">
The more I learn about terrorism,
the more I understand the phone company.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
<table class="MsoNormalTable" style="border: 3pt outset ; background: green none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" bgcolor="green" border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 12pt;">The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population
</td></tr></tbody></table>
</td></tr></tbody></table>
Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant"
is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist ".