Yes and I thank you too for your sincere and honest reply, I guess my rant was to more include the on and on stuff that was off base to my question... Now let me review your answer:
You are attracted to a pretty face with an Earthy, natural something about them.
You are attracted to bright eyes, warm smile, long hair and nice feet.
You are attracted to fun, smart women and if you would want to kiss her, then you would ask her out.
You are not attracted to "skinny" gals, her size doesn't matter much you.
But with a very large woman you would have to be in contact on a regular basis or be put in a situation where you would be able to get to know her personality and see if she is smart, fun had bright eyes a warm smile and nice feet. And if you found out that she did indeed had these qualities that you are attracted to you may perhaps would then want to kiss her and ask her out.
Your answer that I got this from:
This man's eye is initially drawn to women that I think of as pretty. Earthy, natural, bright eyes, warm smile, long hair, nice feet. :):
If she is pretty, fun, smart and I want to kiss her, then I would ask her out.
I don't have a thing for "skinny" gals, her size doesn't matter much to me and I like woman of many sizes, though I doubt I would ask out a gal who was very over weight unless I met her through work or as a friend or something and got to know her that way first.<!-- / message --><!-- edit note -->
My post was #9 and it was serious.
I don't have a black or white answer for you on what I like. There is no simple "yes or no" for many of us it seems.
I can tell you didn't like what you heard, but that doesn't mean our answers are wrong.
You could try being glad instead. Another way of looking at these answers is that many of us won't decide if we like you or not based on your dress size. Isn't that a good thing? Oh, this question I am asking is not about me, It is about what men in general are attracted to in general.
But even if you do not like me I know of tons and tons of people who do!
So no worries:thumbsup:
Lorrie
10-31-2007, 10:55 AM
May I guess that what you mean is to say you speak for all of your species?
Men are attracted to women who listen and take an active interest in his life and his ideas. Men are attracted to humor. Men are attracted to a woman who is upbeat and cheerful and are of a positive nature in general.
Thank you very much.
You said in post #14:
Generally (with many exceptions), men are interested most in women who are interested in them. A woman who wants to attract a man should show interest in him by listening to him and asking questions about his life and his ideas. After that, humor is a big attractant to a guy. Many women are cheerful, and many will laugh at a man's humor, but I find that relatively few women are truly witty. A woman who learns to be witty has a great advantage.
I thought I responded directly to your question in my post #14. What did I miss?
Lorrie
10-31-2007, 10:59 AM
And Purple pig said he is attracted to a calm woman who can get wild. He is attracted to eyes and lips.
I am sorry I had a hard time at first separating the sincere with all the gobuilty-gook. I am finding my way thank you all.
Inner calm? Give me a woman with inner wild and the skill to use it. Depth of eyes? You'll never know what's going on in there. Give me lips.
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Lorrie
10-31-2007, 11:02 AM
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I did not ask what men were not attracted to (which this is a very unattractive picture that is painted. I supposed I should dole out some sympathy but I just can find any right now, specially when you posted this experience to the world)
so I had to fly to NM a while back, on that cheapo-bring-your-own food-airline.
fluteman, you would have been in heaven.
I was seated next to this uglier than hell, fat-assed "woman"
she was so calm she wouldn't move an inch, it was all stuffed in her chair
she was very much into sharing, not only did she share her hairy armpit with me, she constantly tried to offer me some of her blubber while moving her arms
she didn't let those little farts get to her either, just everybody around her was gasping for air.
she didn't even loose her temper when she was paraded to 1st class and everybody else was cheering her on
a real champ
is that what you are looking for?
Lorrie
10-31-2007, 11:07 AM
I suppose I was not asking about the result of a man's attraction but what that attraction was specifically. This I can glean that you are attracted to skinny women, beautiful, physically fit women, women who are confident and oozed sensuality.
Thank you for your answer and participation.
Personally I love skinny women. But, to answer your main question, I think the Law of Attraction governs who we attract. Who you are and what you focus on emotionally (particularly at the subconscious level...) determines who and what shows up around you.
It's a simple truth that trumps all the circumstances and complicated explanations. The world's great teachings all speak to this. It applies to money, jobs, friends, you name it. It also applies to romance. The bottom line is when you truly FEEL desirable (at your core), voila, you are!
I have known beautiful, physically fit women that tried everything and never got asked out. I have also known unattractive women that had throngs of men constantly around them. It was because they were red hot mamas, and they knew it at their core. They oozed sensuality, and the universe responded accordingly.
So, if you are looking for something "out there," make a change "in here," and out there will respond. It's magic!
Lorrie
10-31-2007, 11:11 AM
I don't even want to touch this. Every adjective you can say is what attracts Mykil to the opposite sex!! I just doesn't matter! He is attracted to women! He has no preference specifically.:heart::wink::heart:
I personally have about every preference available to mankind! I really love being so versatile. Every shape size age out there is my type! When I look Women in general, I am just in alwayz just in awe and pretty much want them all! Willie Nelson Jr. Wrote a song on this subject I think. I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE GIRLS. I love this song, and it has become a theme of mine to no end. As far as fat or skinny, I see much beauty in both breeds and can really fantasize about either, fat bottom girls you make this rocken’ world go round! I pretty much well rounded myself, plenty of fetishes to keep me entertained for this lifetime and on into the next I am hoping. If not I can alwayz pick up a few more on the way!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
The only think that I can say about asking a girl out is, I won’t do it if she is rude or insensitive toward others. If a woman is a happy go lucky type she has my complete attention and has my gratitude toward her. I wont even approach a woman that shows me just how bad the worlds is or is yelling at the little kiddies in a foul way. Not that there is anything wrong with that, just there is a way and a way not! If a woman looks at me with a nice smile, I will go out of my way to make myself known and approach her and see if there is an opportunity to make both of us happy and excited to no ends!<o:p></o:p>
Lorrie
10-31-2007, 11:18 AM
So you are attracted to calm personality, who is centered and doesn't let the little things in life get to her. You are attracted to some specific physical qualities that are not specified here. You are attracted to an honest character, and inner peaceful attitude. You are attracted to a mysterious woman. You are attracted to a kind, and compassionate woman.
Thank you Fluteman!
I find one of the most desirable qualities to be calmness. Of course there has to be some physical chemistry, but I can think of nothing more attractive than a woman who is centered and doesn't let the little things in life get to her. We all have our moments where we slip and lose our center (and perhaps our temper)...but then again, this is when our true character comes out! I've been around too many woman who are into playing games, flaunting, teasing, and swept up in unpredictable tornado of drama. Life is too short...
To better illustrate my point, I find women in bathing suits, lounging in the sun to be extremely, extremely unattractive. Now while this may have a lot of folks rolling their eyeballs at me, let me explain. I grew up as a very overweight person...as a matter of fact I was almost 150 pounds overweight in high school. It wasn't until I was older, a bit thinner and a lot of confident in myself that I started dating, but after such an experience I now see the world very different than most.
Physical beauty doesn't impress me one bit. In fact, if I were to be totally honest, I tend to be a lot more critical of really attractive people. We live in a society that seems to think that a hot body means that someone is somehow "good" or better than the rest. Where did this nonsense come from anyway? We put people like celebrities on pedestals...all the while people all over the world are starving, yet we invest enormous amounts of time and energy to prattle on about how Brittney Spears put on 15 pounds. Yipes indeed, are we that shallow?
So when I meet a woman who has that inner calmness...someone who doesn't show very much of themselves on the surface...I am drawn, hooked in, I want to learn more about them. A mystery...it is like a puzzle...where will the pieces fit...and even more wonderful, what will the picture look like when you look deeply? The girls in their bikinis lounging in the sun (look at me, I'm so beautiful!)...to them all I can say is "blah!". :)
But the inner peace that I mention here goes both ways. I've found that in many instances in my own life, having that inner zen like state is invaluable. You can buy the best clothes, the fastest car, and get a plastic surgeon to give you a perfect pair of breasts or a bigger, better something (viagra, anyone?), but you cannot put a price on being able to keep your cool under the most difficult of circumstances life may throw at us. The person teaching how to reach "enlightenment" with Eastern mysticism could be the biggest jerk in the world, meanwhile the best Christians may never go to church...
Kindness, calmness, compassion...and perhaps beauty...it might be last...or not at all if viewed with the heart instead of the eyes. ;)
ThePhiant
10-31-2007, 12:58 PM
Actually, I was responding to fluteman's description of what he says he likes.
And I thought it would have been a good match. LOL, since he is appalled by attractive women. (reverse discrimination) and is looking for a calm presence in his life.
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I did not ask what men were not attracted to (which this is a very unattractive picture that is painted. I supposed I should dole out some sympathy but I just can find any right now, specially when you posted this experience to the world)
ThePhiant
10-31-2007, 01:06 PM
Lorrie,
I am curious, how do you do it?
this is the 2nd time that I am aware of that you post a very simple, innocent-looking and straightforward question and all of a sudden it turns into a raging debate that won't die down?
do you know something we don't know?
Lorrie
10-31-2007, 01:16 PM
OH Ha ha then? :barfonu:
Actually, I was responding to fluteman's description of what he says he likes.
And I thought it would have been a good match. LOL, since he is appalled by attractive women. (reverse discrimination) and is looking for a calm presence in his life.
Lorrie
10-31-2007, 01:22 PM
I guess that my thoughts are deeper than my simple mind was willing to accept! Or people are always pickin on me!:heart:
Lorrie,
I am curious, how do you do it?
this is the 2nd time that I am aware of that you post a very simple, innocent-looking and straightforward question and all of a sudden it turns into a raging debate that won't die down?
do you know something we don't know?
jaywilder
10-31-2007, 09:52 PM
HI Lorrie,
For me it's a comination of things... after enough
positives add up it all depends on the look from her "eye".
If I see her seeing me and she smiles I usually always
approach her and say "hi".
Jay
scorpiomoon
11-07-2007, 07:31 PM
What does writing indicate about the writer?
Here are a "few" of the things I noted while reading this thread:
Which of these do YOU consider female positive?
1. A man will ask a woman out for many reasons, usually for sex [at least legit but still objectifying]
2. I have also known unattractive women that had throngs of men constantly around them. It was because they were red hot mamas, and they knew it at their core. They oozed sensuality, and the universe responded accordingly. [more objectifying]
3. I don't have a thing for "skinny" gals, her size doesn't matter much to me and I like woman of many sizes, though I doubt I would ask out a gal who was very over weight [contradictory]
4. I was seated next to this uglier than hell, fat-assed "woman" she was so calm she wouldn't move an inch, it was all stuffed in her chair she was very much into sharing, not only did she share her hairy armpit with me, she constantly tried to offer me some of her blubber while moving her arms she didn't let those little farts get to her either, just everybody around her was gasping for air. [quite mean descriptives - hateful]
5. That is not what attracted me to her, I think it was more of that blonde/blue thing she had going on. The wit was 24/7 though and this did make it entertaining, yet she just wasn’t the greatest in bed, and I do love my bed! Believe me I will ask you out, just be prepared to be exceptional in the bedroom or I will move on… [more objectification]
6. ...I think that men's preoccupation with competition, status, and prestige predisposes them to satire... Not only satire, but violence, isolation and a whole host of other undesirable traits that will never be changed until women start rewarding men for being cooperative rather than competitive. [suggests women are responsible for how men think about and act toward them]
7. When a man who makes 30k a year teaching first grade is more attractive to most women than a lawyer who makes 300k a year arguing for a living, we'll see some major changes in the male behaviors we all know need changing. [suggests women are responsible for how men think about and act toward them]
8. I did go out with a man haters a few nights ago, it was all bad. She was really cute, I asked her out, and she said no, she had a boyfriend. I went on with my business, she walked over with a piece of paper and pencil, asked for my number and called me that very evening. WE went out the next day. I asked about her boytoy and got a “he had sex with another woman, I am not sure what I am going to do” ruse. OK! WE went to eat wound up at the beach and I continued to play with her we had allot of fun till we were done. THEN she became an evil man hater, I decided she was before we even went out but thought I would give her a chance to open herself up to me. She decided it was my entire fault that we went that far and how could I possibly take advantage of her and the situation. And that she was going back to her boytoy. All of this was in less than about ten minutes. Which is what I pretty much expected, it was a grudge f… [contemptuous and objectifying]
Keep in mind: These are the stories and comments you are choosing to share with the women and other men reading this thread. Of all of the things you 'could' have posted to indicate what aspects of a woman are attractive to you - why did you select these specific stories to post? This thread was started by a woman so consider what it suggests when this becomes your first and intentional response to a woman asking about attraction.
Mallory
Hey there since you started this I know where you are in other areas and, I have a great quote here that goes along I think with your #6 & #7 except, in reverse!!!
"The cult of Southern womanhood endows her with at least five totally different images and asks her to be kind enough to adopt all of them. She is required to be frigid and passionate, sweet, bitchy and scatterbrained. Her problems stem from the fact that she succeeds." This I think is women blaming men for their conception of how they are?? I doubt you think its funny but, you are probably writing me a poem....
jborges3
11-15-2007, 01:43 PM
Yep, you got it. Thanks for your response :):
A gal's appearance is good for catching my eye, but not my heart. ;)
And since you really seem interested I'll tell you that there is a pretty thick gal I work with who wears tight jeans and I notice her every single time she walks by :thoughts of love:
Oh, this question I am asking is not about me, It is about what men in general are attracted to in general.
But even if you do not like me I know of tons and tons of people who do!
So no worries:thumbsup:
heh, well my answer was about all women and of course all gals have a dress size (whatever it is) what I'm hearing from these men for the most part is that they don't pick women based on their size.
Lorrie
11-15-2007, 05:05 PM
I think that is great! I don't think that men should worry about a woman's size. I know it helps to be a pleasing sight to a man. And what a world it would be if men went striaght for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...
Zeno Swijtink
11-15-2007, 08:28 PM
I think that is great! I don't think that men should worry about a woman's size. I know it helps to be a pleasing sight to a man. And what a world it would be if men went striaght for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...
So now I wonder why "The Truth about Pit Bull Breeds!" is a thread "similar" to this one?
Braggi
11-15-2007, 08:45 PM
... what a world it would be if men went straight for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...
I've heard that guys can get into big trouble with that approach.
-Jeff
TayanaGirl37
11-25-2007, 08:59 PM
Awww..give it up. Check out the stuff that's come out in the last year on epigentics. I, for one, am unwilling to accept evolution as a scapegoat for my or your behavior. Being able to recognize our impulses and do or not do is a basic definition of human for me (aka that's my opinion). Or read Mary Oliver's poem about how the animals suffer no moral confusion (can't find it at the moment, or I'd include it.) What you accept as motivation and justification is completely up to you--that's the beauty of being adults with choice. Besides, having edginess and using it sometimes is like having all three utensils and not just a spoon.
Yes, hardwired because we evolved that way. Men who were successful competitors for resources and social stature have always been rewarded with the most desirable females.
I'm not blaming either sex, but I am pointing out that it's unrealistic to expect men to simply stop doing what they've evolved to do if women continue to reward them for being competitive, as women have evolved to do.
Braggi
11-25-2007, 09:42 PM
Awww..give it up. Check out the stuff that's come out in the last year on epigentics. ...
Made me look ...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics
-Jeff
shellebelle
11-25-2007, 10:03 PM
I think we'd scare them to death. Most women multi task even more so internally so if men saw that they'd think there was no room at the Inn for them and there always is.
No please keep noticing my blue eyes and my boobs - even if its not in that order!
I think that is great! I don't think that men should worry about a woman's size. I know it helps to be a pleasing sight to a man. And what a world it would be if men went striaght for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...
mykil
11-25-2007, 10:43 PM
You have eyes?
I think we'd scare them to death. Most women multi task even more so internally so if men saw that they'd think there was no room at the Inn for them and there always is.
No please keep noticing my blue eyes and my boobs - even if its not in that order!
Becky
11-25-2007, 11:31 PM
:hmmm: :veryfunny:
You have eyes?
mykil
11-26-2007, 10:58 PM
Well as it sits now, I think I am still evolving about what is the right woman for me. Everyday something or someone new comes along and it just floors me. I am getting to the point where I might just turn the corner and just start dating guyz, [don’t get your hopes up Edward]. But truth be said, there are a few whack jobs on the loose that just want to have a guy all to there own and just put up with all their baggage and whatever else they come with. Or on the other hand they don’t even have enough time to even give you a quickie, even if they want to, they just cant seem to find the time, yet they still don’t want you seeing anyone else. Dating more than one-woman seems like allot of fun to me and it is. Yet you can still get caught up in the everyday drama of the whole when you get a few that say they don’t mind you dating others when deep down they will do anything to sabotage your every move. They really say they don’t now what you are talking about when low and behold, and I do mean low, someone gets all upset and someone really gets hurt about something that their really should have been nothing to be upset about in the first place. I have alwayz been upfront and extremely open and honest about my intentions in life, yet this is never enough. I am dating several women right now, and they all seem to want me to fall in love with them. Even when I tell they I am not emotionally available on that level at this moment it time, it doesn’t matter.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Hhhmmm oh wellllll!!! No one just wants to have fun anymore it is more of a shopping spree if you ask me. Once they get what they want they are miserably happy and just content, who just wants to be content? I want true love and freedom and to be happy all the time! Not into the jealousy thingy not into spending every waking moment with just one, no wonder so many end up all broken up and divorced!
<o:p></o:p>
My perfect woman would be all the married ones that way I could send them home when I was done with them, LOL, since I know I would not live too long in dating all married woman my best bet would to be someone as free as me, some woman that is bi so we can go out and pick up woman together and really have a good time! Someone that is definitely happy all the time and someone that has a body to die for!!! Nice legs, nice assssss, great breasts, huge eyes, nice personality… but truly all those never matter to me, I alwayz have to go with a woman that I can sit in the same room with before, during and yes, even after sexxxx! Knowing that if I ever do fall in love it will be with her, and all her friends!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!
Becky
11-26-2007, 11:27 PM
Mykil, once again you have entertained me. I love reading your posts. I hope you find your perfect mate one day. I'm sure there is that woman out there. we are not all bad but i can say there are some real characters out there.
shellebelle
11-27-2007, 08:06 AM
I think I can help you a tiny bit.
<o:p></o:p>
"Dating more than one-woman seems like allot of fun to me and it is. Yet you can still get caught up in the everyday drama of the whole when you get a few that say they don’t mind you dating others when deep down they will do anything to sabotage your every move. They really say they don’t now ! what you are talking about when low and behold, and I do mean low, someone gets all upset and someone really gets hurt about something that their really should have been nothing to be upset about in the first place."<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
In my experience:
This is about security. Every woman defines it differently. I had a problem with my husband in this area. One reason security. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
I’m not sure if I can explain what this means and does.<o:p></o:p>
But basically when a woman feels insecure she has reactions that aren't always her own.
And she may not realize she feels insecure.
Even women (even those with limited or almost no boundaries) have a few boundaries. It may be a rule or it may be just a gut feeling - she'll know when something doesn't "feel" right and will react rather than respond.
My boyfriends all know my boundaries, they may not understand them but they know them. One understands them and can immediately tell me even by phone if someone is on the edge and making me edgy. (He's in charge of the sanity, LOL.)
The key is to know your boundaries as a woman and avoid the men and women who cross them without permission. As the spouse if you love a woman the key is to not cross the boundaries without permission.
We all push our comfort zones and those are different than boundaries despite often being confused for the same.
This is my experience and philosophy. Take what you can from it if you can.
Well as it sits now, I think I am still evolving about what is the right woman for me. Everyday something or someone new comes along and it just floors me. I am getting to the point where I might just turn the corner and just start dating guyz, [don’t get your hopes up Edward]. But truth be said, there are a few whack jobs on the loose that just want to have a guy all to there own and just put up with all their baggage and whatever else they come with. Or on the other hand they don’t even have enough time to even give you a quickie, even if they want to, they just cant seem to find the time, yet they still don’t want you seeing anyone else. Dating more than one-woman seems like allot of fun to me and it is. Yet you can still get caught up in the everyday drama of the whole when you get a few that say they don’t mind you dating others when deep down they will do anything to sabotage your every move. They really say they don’t now what you are talking about when low and behold, and I do mean low, someone gets all upset and someone really gets hurt about something that their really should have been nothing to be upset about in the first place. I have alwayz been upfront and extremely open and honest about my intentions in life, yet this is never enough. I am dating several women right now, and they all seem to want me to fall in love with them. Even when I tell they I am not emotionally available on that level at this moment it time, it doesn’t matter.
<o:p></o:p>
Hhhmmm oh wellllll!!! No one just wants to have fun anymore it is more of a shopping spree if you ask me. Once they get what they want they are miserably happy and just content, who just wants to be content? I want true love and freedom and to be happy all the time! Not into the jealousy thingy not into spending every waking moment with just one, no wonder so many end up all broken up and divorced!
<o:p></o:p>
My perfect woman would be all the married ones that way I could send them home when I was done with them, LOL, since I know I would not live too long in dating all married woman my best bet would to be someone as free as me, some woman that is bi so we can go out and pick up woman together and really have a good time! Someone that is definitely happy all the time and someone that has a body to die for!!! Nice legs, nice assssss, great breasts, huge eyes, nice personality… but truly all those never matter to me, I alwayz have to go with a woman that I can sit in the same room with before, during and yes, even after sexxxx! Knowing that if I ever do fall in love it will be with her, and all her friends!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!
mykil
11-27-2007, 09:41 AM
And further more, I want a woman that understands the body IS for entertainment purposes. I cannot stand when a woman sayz to me you only want me for my body! Well what the hell where you thinking there before you made this statement, you think that I was attracted to you for you conversation skills? The truth of the matter is we are all attracted to something.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
My motto is as follows:
<o:p></o:p>
I want you heart!
<o:p></o:p>
Yes believe it or not I Love everyone! When you say to me how can you love me when you are with her, and love her, well hell again it is easy, I love everyone and that is that! I even love everything! Now do you want to make out or sit her and argue???? When you make statements concerning others just to try and develop guilt inside on someone else that is just plain rude and annoying and thoughtlessness to warn the other person. Leave well enough alone and lose the guilt machine or lose me!
<o:p></o:p>
I want you body!
<o:p></o:p>
Yes I DO WANT YOU FOR YOUR BODY!!!!! You body is like a roller coaster ride to me, I love it, doesn’t even matter what you had in mind, if we are alone and In the mode on the bed, we well find a way to have fun, your body is like an amusement park to me, it is pure enjoyment and entertainment get over you bad self, get over here and do what I tell you or I will spank your sweet assss, I will do that anyway but you get my point!!! Why on earth would you not want to be treated like a toy? What on earth gives you the idea that I would want to spent time with a woman that does not want to have sex in the first place? Who are you to tell me what I can think about someone else? I AM STARING AT YOUR BREASTS GET OVER IT!!!!!!
<o:p></o:p>
I want you mind!
<o:p></o:p>
Yes, I even want to spend time lurking in the shadows of you brain, picking, entertaining our thoughts with each other, you know having a conversation. Yes before I entertain myself with you bode, and BTW I am hoping you are entertaining yourself with mine, after we are through we can talk about all t he things in your life, in my life in our life. Even while we are making love we can use our thoughts and entertain ourselves. GEEZ you would think that by me looking at your breasts that that is all I am about!! PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!! AND FRIGGIN GEEEZZZZZZ!!!!!! I am not suppose to have a healthy appetite toward you what so ever? IT is ok for you to have those thoughts but not me? The shallowness of woman these dayz is beyond me, they think they are sooo deep when really they are so transparent as who knows what? If you want a husband to raise a little family of your own, so be it, I am not here to stop anyone it their tracks. But when you want me to change my whole life just so you can be content with me at your side, forget it. Get a guy that wants to be a puppy dog and have a wonderful life. I will find the ones that really understand life and just want to make things wonderful and full on love laughter and pure enjoyment!
shellebelle
11-27-2007, 10:27 AM
I am really enjoying your answers.
AND YES please be attracted to my conversation skills cause otherwise we'll never talk!
Here's the thing from my perspective:
:heart::heart: WE WANT IT ALL!! :heart::heart:
We want you to want us for our words, our brains, our thoughts, our strengths, our weakness and for our bodies!
And yes we need and should want you for all these things as well.
Timing is the real issue! You = General term - not pointing at Mykil or anyone else.
Its not what you say or what you do its the when that is the challenge. And it goes both ways.
And yes I can talk to you while watching your penis jiggle just like you can talk to me while watching my boobs jiggle but to be fair we have more fun things and they are easier to see. LOL :thumbsup:
And further more, I want a woman that understands the body IS for entertainment purposes. I cannot stand when a woman sayz to me you only want me for my body! Well what the hell where you thinking there before you made this statement, you think that I was attracted to you for you conversation skills? The truth of the matter is we are all attracted to something.
<o:p></o:p>
My motto is as follows:
<o:p></o:p>
I want you heart!
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Yes believe it or not I Love everyone! When you say to me how can you love me when you are with her, and love her, well hell again it is easy, I love everyone and that is that! I even love everything! Now do you want to make out or sit her and argue???? When you make statements concerning others just to try and develop guilt inside on someone else that is just plain rude and annoying and thoughtlessness to warn the other person. Leave well enough alone and lose the guilt machine or lose me!
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I want you body!
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Yes I DO WANT YOU FOR YOUR BODY!!!!! You body is like a roller coaster ride to me, I love it, doesn’t even matter what you had in mind, if we are alone and In the mode on the bed, we well find a way to have fun, your body is like an amusement park to me, it is pure enjoyment and entertainment get over you bad self, get over here and do what I tell you or I will spank your sweet assss, I will do that anyway but you get my point!!! Why on earth would you not want to be treated like a toy? What on earth gives you the idea that I would want to spent time with a woman that does not want to have sex in the first place? Who are you to tell me what I can think about someone else? I AM STARING AT YOUR BREASTS GET OVER IT!!!!!!
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I want you mind!
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Yes, I even want to spend time lurking in the shadows of you brain, picking, entertaining our thoughts with each other, you know having a conversation. Yes before I entertain myself with you bode, and BTW I am hoping you are entertaining yourself with mine, after we are through we can talk about all t he things in your life, in my life in our life. Even while we are making love we can use our thoughts and entertain ourselves. GEEZ you would think that by me looking at your breasts that that is all I am about!! PLEASEEEEEE!!!!!! AND FRIGGIN GEEEZZZZZZ!!!!!! I am not suppose to have a healthy appetite toward you what so ever? IT is ok for you to have those thoughts but not me? The shallowness of woman these dayz is beyond me, they think they are sooo deep when really they are so transparent as who knows what? If you want a husband to raise a little family of your own, so be it, I am not here to stop anyone it their tracks. But when you want me to change my whole life just so you can be content with me at your side, forget it. Get a guy that wants to be a puppy dog and have a wonderful life. I will find the ones that really understand life and just want to make things wonderful and full on love laughter and pure enjoyment!
Willie Lumplump
11-27-2007, 07:06 PM
And yes I can talk to you while watching your penis jiggle
Excuse me, but I've been keeping close track of my member for 64 years and have yet to see or feel it "jiggle." But possibly there is something special in your visual attentions that elicit this extraordinary behavior.
shellebelle
11-27-2007, 07:16 PM
Really most in my experience move in lovely little jiggles and even can be known to bounce a tad, tend to not like the cold but that is understandable.
Excuse me, but I've been keeping close track of my member for 64 years and have yet to see or feel it "jiggle." But possibly there is something special in your visual attentions that elicit this extraordinary behavior.
Willie Lumplump
11-28-2007, 12:19 AM
Awww..give it up. Check out the stuff that's come out in the last year on epigentics. I, for one, am unwilling to accept evolution as a scapegoat for my or your behavior.
I suppose that it would be a great spiritual achievement to cancel out three million years of evolution, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon--probably not within the next three million years. There's a lot of evidence from many studies, such as studies of identical and fraternal twins, that genetics (certainly a product of evolution) accounts for roughly half of all human behavior. And what does epigenetics have to do with scapegoating evolution?
nanopiano
02-01-2008, 09:19 PM
:): my dear you must learn that all men are pigs basically underneath all those layers of perceived intellectualism and materialistic conquests.we like to sc**w.we'll sc**w anything that doesn't run faster than we do.god,haven't you heard the story of the sheep farmer? that's just about all we think of,constantly,day in day out.and when we're not awake and concious,we dream about it.procreation,it's a disease i tell you.it's the nature of the animal,the beast, but it's hell.it's a prison,a coffin in the shadows we must slink back to before dawn.i can guess what dracula was doing in that box after he shut the lid.women like to talk,men like to sc**w.if we had our way all we would do is eat,sleep and sc**w.we're cavemen deep down inside and some of us never let you see that aspect but get us in bed,all that groaning and moaning,geeesh!!!cavemen,genuine fred flinstones i tell ya.we replaced our clubs with remodeled kitchens,bmw's,charge cards and diamond rings.our cave is now a split level duplex in palo alto with a pool and jacuzzi.nothing has changed and there is no truth, no nirvana,no one answer to the question other than it feels good,really good.
shellebelle
02-02-2008, 09:16 AM
Wow - thats not my reality!
I found your post very sad.
I meet wonderful men, caring, generous, beautiful spirits. They are intelligent, bright and even brilliant. I'd say they were evolved but I am not certain they started at the level you describe.
Remember:
The universe supports the reality of your beliefs absolutely.
When you believe you must struggle for abundance, then it will bring about situations that are conducive to struggle; when you believe you cannot experience love without pain, the universe will give you exactly that - love with pain; when you believe it takes time for an illness to heal - then so it will. There is not a single force opposing you, there is only ONE force supporting you absolutely. It is called LOVE, the force that birthed you, that created you in its own image. This love is so magnanimous it will give you exactly and absolutely whatever it is that your reality entails.
Change your beliefs and you change your reality.
:): my dear you must learn that all men are pigs basically underneath all those layers of perceived intellectualism and materialistic conquests.we like to sc**w.we'll sc**w anything that doesn't run faster than we do.god,haven't you heard the story of the sheep farmer? that's just about all we think of,constantly,day in day out.and when we're not awake and concious,we dream about it.procreation,it's a disease i tell you.it's the nature of the animal,the beast, but it's hell.it's a prison,a coffin in the shadows we must slink back to before dawn.i can guess what dracula was doing in that box after he shut the lid.women like to talk,men like to sc**w.if we had our way all we would do is eat,sleep and sc**w.we're cavemen deep down inside and some of us never let you see that aspect but get us in bed,all that groaning and moaning,geeesh!!!cavemen,genuine fred flinstones i tell ya.we replaced our clubs with remodeled kitchens,bmw's,charge cards and diamond rings.our cave is now a split level duplex in palo alto with a pool and jacuzzi.nothing has changed and there is no truth, no nirvana,no one answer to the question other than it feels good,really good.
thewholetruth
04-24-2008, 07:14 AM
I agree that it's rare. This America of extreme selfishness I-Me-My MTV instant gratification models everywhere you look on TV, magazines, newspapers, billboards, mall advertisements has become very, very shallow, and many men have caved in to their fleshly impulses, rather than seeking out someone who is truly compatible with them mentally, emotionally, spiritually, with common interests. Fake boobs are everywhere, and frankly, obvious as hell and equally unattractive. Collectively, men have become so immature it's pathetic. Few men ever outgrow the 7th grade mentality, and few women, as well. Politics and Hollywood both operate from the 7th grade mentality. Playboy is on TV now, as well as porn, and the internet is flooded with images of naked and scantily clad women, both on websites and in ads on nonporn sites. Marketing is catering to our lowest nature, and it's working on far too many men, bringing them down to the lowest common animalistic denominator.
As I've gotten older, happily married btw, I've noticed that there seems to be more beautiful women on the planet. I'm aware, however, that I'm seeing beauty in ways I've never seen before. In the eyes, in their spirit, in the way they conduct themselves with dignity and poise and self-restraint. I find that attractive today, far more so than the exposed T & A which used to be what got my attention...more. Skinny, fat, in-between - they all seem to look good now, unless they put a cigarette to their lips, dress like whores, or conduct themselves without dignity and/or respect for themeselves or others.
Don
Not bad, I wish more felt that way...
Sincerely,
Deborah
thewholetruth
04-24-2008, 07:19 AM
I found his post sad, as well. He is the quintessential example of all that following the ways of the world will get you. Shallow, shallow, and shallow.
It's sad. The bars are full of men who think like that. Come to think of it, homes in America are full of them, too, now, thanks to Capitalism.
Don
Wow - thats not my reality!
I found your post very sad.
I meet wonderful men, caring, generous, beautiful spirits. They are intelligent, bright and even brilliant. I'd say they were evolved but I am not certain they started at the level you describe.
Remember:
The universe supports the reality of your beliefs absolutely.
When you believe you must struggle for abundance, then it will bring about situations that are conducive to struggle; when you believe you cannot experience love without pain, the universe will give you exactly that - love with pain; when you believe it takes time for an illness to heal - then so it will. There is not a single force opposing you, there is only ONE force supporting you absolutely. It is called LOVE, the force that birthed you, that created you in its own image. This love is so magnanimous it will give you exactly and absolutely whatever it is that your reality entails.
Change your beliefs and you change your reality.
Shnookums
04-24-2008, 05:27 PM
Truthful,
Kind,
Not a Drunk.
Mark Chiang
04-24-2008, 09:11 PM
The exact details can be extensive for an individual, but if we want to generalize then whatever that is probably won't make me ask someone out. The thing is, as attractive as someone may be physically, if that's ALL I see there's a signal that says something like "this would never work, they're very generic" in response to the very generic signal I get from her. After all, I'm not just looking for a generic "type."
Same for skinny, it just depends - or "see above." I find a lot of skinny women attractive, also curvy women. Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.. (https://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Mr-Roboto-lyrics-Styx/BB8DEEF99D2BDBA24825693A002AB9FF)
Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him
want to ask her out?
Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?
Have some fun guys, but be honest.
Lorrie
04-24-2008, 10:22 PM
name just one that can vouch for you
I will oh soooo definately vouch for Willie!
I haven't visited this thread for a long time, but looking at it tonight! ANd only getting this far!!!
Willie...uh RON is a very very very very nice man! He is my friend:heart: ...He is funny and entertaining! and Intelligent and kind. He has helped me alot. And his dogs are cool and He recently got married!
The way you guys are insulting his thoughts makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand. All he did was answer the question for himself. Why do you people ridicule and be harsh with your "opinions".
MAN! Be Kind! How hard is that?
kburgess
05-18-2008, 07:17 AM
What makes a man ask her out-
First got to be physically fit, slender, not skinny, I like breasts,
good body tone, like you like some levels of physical activity,
but not a health nut to show me up.
Second walk and step with confidence, as though you know
who you are, like who you are, and comfortable in your skin.
Never perfect, but better than most.
Third, have eyes that move, aware, seeing things, responding
to your environment, sharp.
Having your body connected to your eyes and environment, as though
you see things and respond. Those subtle body queues that exist
before our minds every become aware of them are what truly represents
our personality that our mind then tries to make sense of.
Lastly, the fact that you have seen me as I might have put attention to
you, and provide a sensory sense of yes in response to my inquiry.
Beyond that the clothes, walk, movement, gait, chat, dance, smell,
and how you might lick your lips or stroke your hair for the real
sexual clues :wink:
All of this can take place in seconds, but is the key to the successful
connection. Your brain is wired for this stuff about 10,000x more
effectively than mine, just by biology, so I do not ever try to presume
that I know better, but recognize that you are the gatekeeper to the
possible success of whatever might be going on. I am just the initiator
of this particular phase of the process. You may have a sense of things,
and I just put voice to it.
there is a lot more than that, but there is a good start.
Ken, :hello:
:Yinyangv:
shellebelle
05-18-2008, 07:24 AM
If I cold give you like loads more gratitude (kudos) for this I would!!
I read this and went: Yes! Yes! Yes!
This is who I look for man or woman!
What makes a man ask her out-
First got to be physically fit, slender, not skinny, I like breasts,
good body tone, like you like some levels of physical activity,
but not a health nut to show me up.
Second walk and step with confidence, as though you know
who you are, like who you are, and comfortable in your skin.
Never perfect, but better than most.
Third, have eyes that move, aware, seeing things, responding
to your environment, sharp.
Having your body connected to your eyes and environment, as though
you see things and respond. Those subtle body queues that exist
before our minds every become aware of them are what truly represents
our personality that our mind then tries to make sense of.
Lastly, the fact that you have seen me as I might have put attention to
you, and provide a sensory sense of yes in response to my inquiry.
Beyond that the clothes, walk, movement, gait, chat, dance, smell,
and how you might lick your lips or stroke your hair for the real
sexual clues :wink:
All of this can take place in seconds, but is the key to the successful
connection. Your brain is wired for this stuff about 10,000x more
effectively than mine, just by biology, so I do not ever try to presume
that I know better, but recognize that you are the gatekeeper to the
possible success of whatever might be going on. I am just the initiator
of this particular phase of the process. You may have a sense of things,
and I just put voice to it.
there is a lot more than that, but there is a good start.
Ken, :hello:
:Yinyangv:
kburgess
05-18-2008, 07:27 AM
I guess my followon to my previous response is to find
out where is the heart, where is the head, and how well are
the two connected. For me it is the Body and the head
connected into the heart as the doorway to both and our
spiritual selves. This is a feeling, and sense of Rightness.
When it is there, it is, and when it isnt, its not.
It is the only really seeing 3 people in a room of 75 that
seem to have any interest or spark, and having your natural
body sense guide you to what is right. Yes there is lots in
those little queues of what makes those 3, but it all fits together,
and our bodies cellular structure carries the true intelligence of
our being, that our brain only realizes after the fact.
This is the science, so for us to just recognize that this is how
our beings work, and that our cellular network is what gives
birth to our consciousness that our brain then tries to understand
is also what makes our own inner world become so interesting.
Anyway, a bit off topic, but I feel that the dating thing is the
absolutely finest example of how our true selves come alive to
identify and recognize ourselves through the process of searching
out the other. It is the most powerful essence of our continuance,
and we want all of our faculties hooked in to do it right.
Good Book- The Female Brain,
An excellent read, and an amazing creation,
My toast to you all,
Ken, :wink:.
thewholetruth
05-18-2008, 12:00 PM
Anyway, a bit off topic, but I feel that the dating thing is the
absolutely finest example of how our true selves come alive to
identify and recognize ourselves through the process of searching
out the other. It is the most powerful essence of our continuance,
and we want all of our faculties hooked in to do it right.
Ken, :wink:.
OTOH, Ken, I've never heard anyone argue with the fact that most of us don't even get real in a relationship until a good 6 months to a year, sometimes 2 years into it. Something about a "Honeymoon period" and putting our best face forward, and it taking some time till we feel safe enough to expose our true selves, quirks, shortcomings, warts and all.
I appreciate all your thoughts, Ken.
Jason 17
12-28-2008, 10:37 PM
As a man, the most important aspect is to know the woman is attracted to me.This frees me to express truly when not worrying about being liked.
NorseViking869
02-16-2009, 08:49 AM
For me, I prefer a woman be a real woman with curves. She has to have a cute baby face, a bit of a tummy, and child bearing hips. I have to feel someones beauty all night long as well as during the heat of passion. I am not turned on by skinny women, or obese women, just a healthy, thick, athletic, goddess figure. Being a very affectionate man, who is attracted to touch, that is the kind of woman that brings out the tiger in me.
Jason 17
02-16-2009, 12:56 PM
What attracts me to a woman is how she carries herself.Without barriers and pretense I feel free to approach.Without judgement I feel free to reveal myself.Intimacy can happen and is the only real basis for for the love I desire. Jason
Zeno Swijtink
02-17-2009, 11:03 AM
What Modern Men Want in Women | LiveScience (https://www.livescience.com/culture/090213-men-want.html)
SALLY LAW - LiveScience.com
Researchers at the University of Iowa find that men increasingly are interested in intelligent, educated women who are financially stable - and chastity isn't an issue.
The findings are part of a study, conducted every decade since 1939, which asks participants to rank a list of 18 characteristics they would want in a partner on a scale ranging from "irrelevant" to "essential." Included are such items as "sociability" and "good cook, housekeeper," as well as "mutual attraction and love," which came in first place for both men and women in 2008. (In 1939, it wasn't in the top three for either sex.)
Male and female participants in 2008 rounded out their top traits with "dependable character" and "emotional stability, maturity." Men ranked intelligence fourth, a big jump from 11th place in 1939; in addition, "good financial prospect" moved to 12th place in 2008, a shift from its low 17th-place ranking in 1939 and last-place ranking in 1967.
"This is a generation of men who has grown up with educated women as their mothers, teachers, doctors, and role models," said Christine Whelan, head of the study and author of "Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman's Guide to True Love" (Simon & Schuster, 2008). "And in tough economic times, sharing the financial burden with a spouse takes the burden off these guys to be the sole provider."
The study's participants were college students from the University of Iowa, the University of Washington, the University of Virginia, and Penn State University.
"Like attracts like, so certainly the fact that we were polling college students would suggest that intelligence and education are going to be important characteristics," Whelan says.
Another notable shift involves the significance of chastity: In 1939, it was valued more than intelligence in women, but in 2008, it was ranked the least important characteristic. Furthermore, it also was ranked the least important for men. This, coupled with the shared top-three ranking for both men and women, suggests a commonality that seems positively modern-day.
Details:
WHAT MEN WANT
Essential characteristics:
* Mutual attraction and love
* Dependable character
* Emotional stability
Important characteristics:
* Education and intelligence
* Good looks
* Ambition
Desirable characteristics:
* Good financial prospect
* Good cook and housekeeper
Unimportant characteristics:
* Similar political background
* Chastity
WHAT WOMEN WANT
Essential characteristics:
* Mutual attraction and love
* Dependable character
* Emotional stability
Important characteristics:
* Education and intelligence
* Desire for home and children
* Ambition
Desirable characteristics
* Good looks
* Refinement
Unimportant characteristics:
* Similar political background
* Chastity
abg73
05-29-2009, 02:10 AM
this is one of the most amusing posts I have ever read.
thank you so much for sharing it.
Barry
05-29-2009, 11:13 PM
this is one of the most amusing posts I have ever read.
thank you so much for sharing it.
Which Post??? :hmmm: Please reply with the post number, or paste it into your reply.
countrygirl
05-30-2009, 11:52 AM
That is interesting. Seems the same answers for both sexes. I see dependable character and emotional stability is up there. Is there nothing of spiritual person, good heart or any thing of that nature that is desired by potential partners? How strange to me that education, ambition would score up there and no mention of ones values or good nature. Good nature, or lack of, some could call spirituality, is was up there on the list with me.
this is one of the most amusing posts I have ever read.
thank you so much for sharing it.
Lorrie
02-02-2010, 10:53 AM
Wow! I want to thank all of you for your contributions to this question and thread. It is very fascinating and insightful. If there are any new comer-men to WaccoBB that would like to tell me what they find attracts them to a woman I am still curious and all eyes...
Even though, I am sure, that since this thread has died down I should assume I have my answer; I mean what else is there right?
My gratitude to each of you is enormous!
I have had 147 replies and 9,697 views of this thread at this writing:
(2/2/2010)!
This implies (to me anyways) that it was a very good question.
Thank you all again!!:thumbsup:
Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him
want to ask her out?
Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?
Have some fun guys, but be honest.
carpet crawler
02-03-2010, 09:15 AM
Wow! I want to thank all of you for your contributions to this question and thread. It is very fascinating and insightful. If there are any new comer-men to WaccoBB that would like to tell me what they find attracts them to a woman I am still curious and all eyes...
Even though, I am sure, that since this thread has died down I should assume I have my answer; I mean what else is there right?
My gratitude to each of you is enormous!
I have had 147 replies and 9,697 views of this thread at this writing:
(2/2/2010)!
This implies (to me anyways) that it was a very good question.
Thank you all again!!:thumbsup:
I figured what the heck, be number 148...
The handful of women who have turned out to be the most important in my life have been different enough in appearance and lifestyle that I can't assume those things matter. What they had in common were intelligence, confidence, humor, compassion, and a mind of their own.
It's fun to look at people on a physical level, but that comes down to definitions that are pretty squirrely - what did you mean when you said "skinny"? One person's "big boobs" is another's "not enough". Whatever physical traits one thinks they prefer all fly out the window when confronted with a personality that lights you up.
I would add that reciprocality is pretty important. I might be interested in someone, but unless there's some indication that they are interested back, I don't think I would spend lots of time and effort trying to change that. I've heard those stories of not taking no for an answer, and I suppose that works when one is relatively youthful. I am now old enough to know things that I like, things that won't work, and just enough impatience to not feel the need to wait around to see if something changes.
John Omaha
02-10-2010, 08:30 AM
I only recently joined Wacco and just now found the Conscious Relationship page. I liked your question and want to answer.
Here's my response: As I am more mature, I have learned discernment regarding attractiveness. Today I am aware of when there is a coherent resonance between my heart chakra and the woman's. As a psychotherapist, I am aware that technology exists (HeartMath) to measure coherent resonance. I can feel that resonance in myself and between myself and others. It has a unique signature of physical sensations. Coherent heart chakra resonance is an essential component of attraction. Everything else will follow.
A person with a coherently resonating heart chakra will be more likely to (these are some other qualities) be fun (creative, spontaneous, playful), like herself, be willing to give and receive equally in relationship, be available for emotional and spiritual intimacy, have a spiritual practice, like to dance, be ecologically aware, be self-aware, be in tune with her body, and love nature.
These are the qualities that would attract me to a woman. These are also my qualities. I am new to the community and single. I'm interested in your suggestions for how I can attract someone to me and my qualities.
Regards,
John Omaha
covelojoe
03-10-2010, 01:03 AM
Just saw this thread here and figured I'd drop in the mix. This should help me some actually to spell it out.
I like to be around strong/centered, and creative women with a lively and positive outlook on life. Someone who is genuine, forthright and says what they really feel and think. I also like athletic/healthy women so we would be able to enjoy the wilderness, hiking, camping etc. Cuddling/snuggling is key for me too. Also someone with a lot of real compassion for our fellow humans.:thumbsup:
Just saw this thread here and figured I'd drop in the mix. This should help me some actually to spell it out.
I like to be around strong/centered, and creative women with a lively and positive outlook on life. Someone who is genuine, forthright and says what they really feel and think. I also like athletic/healthy women so we would be able to enjoy the wilderness, hiking, camping etc. Cuddling/snuggling is key for me too. Also someone with a lot of real compassion for our fellow humans.:thumbsup:
[email protected]
That's good stuff,but as I start dating and working on my own self I realize what I really want in a woman.As I start to be responsible for my own well-being and my own emotional state--I want a woman who does the same and will support me in this growth.I will support her in her own process.She never has to pay"a price"for being herself. Jason
NorseViking869
03-28-2010, 12:53 AM
I was actually going to start a new thread about what it is I seek in a relationship and what my ideal woman would be.However, since this is about sharing the truth, I felt that this might be the best place for it. After all your original question is about attraction and what would make me ask someone out as opposed to just staying home and watching tv with my dog.
I really do not believe in a specific type of person as the perfect match, but I have come to realize what seems to be the most harmonious and healthy type of person for me.
She has to be strong and witty. I do prefer some one a little more earthy and granola. Someone who is ok with a man who is sensitive. A woman who is Pagan or Atheist but definitely not Judeo/Christian. You have to be comfortable with a Nihilist/existentialist as I am very accepting of Pagans. Partaking of the sacred herb is very welcome indeed or at least tolerance to my intake. I would love to be with a hippy mama with dreads and loves patchouli, but that is not at all a requirement. I like colorful people who march to the beat of a different drum. I enjoy talking to the dreamers and dream makers of the world as they are my kindred spirits. People who look at the glass as half full, yet strive to fill it up the rest of the way. Definitely left of center politically, even if we have opposing viewpoints on the issues we support. In fact, I would love someone I can debate one moment and totally agree with the other. Of course, and this goes without saying, someone who is not scared of intimacy and sensuality.
There you have it. That is my Story (and my truth) and I am sticking to it.
csell
03-29-2010, 07:56 AM
As a match.com success story, could I add a few comments (even though I'm female)?
You are on the right track...telling the truth is paramount. Most men in my age bracket lie about their height by 1" (if they are under 5'-10"), their income by $25-50K, and their age by 3-to-10 years.
There are a lot of us aging hippie mamas out there, and most of us prefer to be in solid, monogamous relationships rather than single. Most of us mingle with the earth, and while we don't mind mud on our feet, we like to clean up well. Most of us tolerate (or partake in) herbal pleasures, although I'd give anything for my husband to stink less (he made me quit smoking for the same reason). Most of us have thrown over our Judeo-Christian backgrounds for less structured belief systems. Most of us are left-of-center, colorful, artistic folks. [Yes, I know "most" is pushing the envelope and I can't speak for everyone].
Kudos for not looking for a "type"! Keep your eyes open but most importantly, use your other sense too. The qualities you look for may not be visible to the eye.
Thanks--Carolyn
I was actually going to start a new thread about what it is I seek in a relationship and what my ideal woman would be.However, since this is about sharing the truth, I felt that this might be the best place for it. After all your original question is about attraction and what would make me ask someone out as opposed to just staying home and watching tv with my dog.
I really do not believe in a specific type of person as the perfect match, but I have come to realize what seems to be the most harmonious and healthy type of person for me.
She has to be strong and witty. I do prefer some one a little more earthy and granola. Someone who is ok with a man who is sensitive. A woman who is Pagan or Atheist but definitely not Judeo/Christian. You have to be comfortable with a Nihilist/existentialist as I am very accepting of Pagans. Partaking of the sacred herb is very welcome indeed or at least tolerance to my intake. I would love to be with a hippy mama with dreads and loves patchouli, but that is not at all a requirement. I like colorful people who march to the beat of a different drum. I enjoy talking to the dreamers and dream makers of the world as they are my kindred spirits. People who look at the glass as half full, yet strive to fill it up the rest of the way. Definitely left of center politically, even if we have opposing viewpoints on the issues we support. In fact, I would love someone I can debate one moment and totally agree with the other. Of course, and this goes without saying, someone who is not scared of intimacy and sensuality.
There you have it. That is my Story (and my truth) and I am sticking to it.
Andy3
03-29-2010, 12:37 PM
I don't pay a lot of attention to looks. I insist on clean but that is as far as I go. I was attracted to my first wife because of her smile, her ability to laugh and to look at her glass as being half full and not half empty. We married young and were together for only 15 years before she passed away from a horrible disease.
After her death I was not looking for another relationship but was working with a woman that had these same qualities. We became good friends and eventually married. We are still together and happy after 26 years.
Outer beauty is a temporary thing. Inner beauty lasts forever. I would prefer to have a life companion with inner beauty than a miserable person that looks beautiful at one point in time.
Garden Goddess
07-04-2010, 03:59 PM
I have browsed through this thread and can see nothing edifying in 99 percent of the remarks, even those by males who purportedly like women.
Part of the original question asked whether skinny women were approachable romantically. (My paraphrase.) So, I expected some talk of appearance, but this whole focus on superficial looks and the instant gratification kind of sex leaves me less than ambivalent.
Honesty was asked for and it is hard for me to believe that this is it?! Is there nothing more in the male brain?
Do you not realize that the best sex with a woman will always be when that woman feels that she is completely loved? Why do many men think that all women have some kind of agenda?
Here's another question: Which males in the room would be friends with a female if they knew ahead of time that no sex would be involved -- ever?
Okay...how would you know whether you would get along with said woman just by looking at her? Wouldn't you have to befriend her in order to get to know her? I kinda don't get it.
I think not. Your presuppositions are showing. For example: I would never say to a man "Let's go to coffee so I can judge whether I want to "do" you (within the first 5 minutes!)" Ha ha ha! No self-respecting person of either sex would agree to that.
Plus, I expect the reason you go on these forums is recreational, that you never say anything serious, you like being the devil's advocate and you're probably too scared to meet any woman for coffee, because they are all smarter than you, for the reason that the small head is the one doing all the talking. Still want to meet me for coffee?
kburgess
07-04-2010, 09:18 PM
I have browsed through this thread and can see nothing edifying in 99 percent of the remarks, even those by males who purportedly like women.
Part of the original question asked whether skinny women were approachable romantically. (My paraphrase.) So, I expected some talk of appearance, but this whole focus on superficial looks and the instant gratification kind of sex leaves me less than ambivalent.
Honesty was asked for and it is hard for me to believe that this is it?! Is there nothing more in the male brain?
Do you not realize that the best sex with a woman will always be when that woman feels that she is completely loved? Why do many men think that all women have some kind of agenda?
Here's another question: Which males in the room would be friends with a female if they knew ahead of time that no sex would be involved -- ever?
For me the best part of any interaction with a woman is finding that true softness in the heart. Unfortunately many of us have gotten a bit jaded with life, or had other issues impact our ability to truly feel what is right inside of another. I find that women are generally much better at the feeling side, but can get a bit lost with it at times, and men are better at the pragmatic side, but can get lost in that arena as well. Consequently we make a very good pair.
The beauty is that I generally trust a womans sense me through radar since I feel your ability to know through intuition is more acute than mine, and I know that if you are attracted to me, things will work, and if not, there is not much I can do to change that. I can just be me, and make sure that I show up in all the ways that count, and see what works.
I feel that most women will do just about anything for a man they really care about, and will be patient beyond what is normally considered reasonable.
I have also found your care to include me with kindness is far beyond what could be normally expected.
All this is a statement of reverence and appreciation, since it is not about men choosing anything. We are not wired to make any real selection on anything. Biology has the guys put on the display, and the girls select the best for their particular needs, and any guy with a half a brain will easily realize that you cant pull off a lot of bs with a woman for very long, she will find out, and if she trusts herself, will head for the hills. If she doesn't, she may stick around until exhaustion takes over, and is forced to leave.
This is not a good way to run the game. If you like us, you will make our lives into heaven, and if you do not, and we are all honest with each other, you will probably let us down easy, and even help us along in the process.
Do I know for sure, not a chance, but for the occasional instances that I have seen/experienced this, I have been placed in awe.
We are here to serve each other in different and complimentary ways, and it has nothing to do with physical anything, but feeling a quality that is beyond words. A quality that says I want more, and it is irreverent on what we are doing, but I just want to be with you because I like you no matter what we are doing.
Obviously the attraction to sex if seen as an end will always be doomed to failure and a demonstration of stupidity, while a development of true care, affection and love is far beyond what sex could ever offer.
If we both choose to come from the same place of honesty, working together, finding agreement, and wanting to work for the long term, there is not much to go wrong. If you are not working for that get out of the game.
It is the woman's responsibility to choose since it is your biology that carries the responsibility and fruit of life, and also that you can perceive many dimensions greater of relational subtlety of what will truly allow any partnership to be a success. It is the depth of looking at a black and white snapshot in the dark, vs a true real life flesh and blood experience. We just do not see the same depth or understanding as you, and so I gladly return to you what you can naturally do so exceedingly well.
As for skinny, and just friends, its all in the eyes, and if you are healthy, strong, and hold the gaze to me, I just smile and say yes.
Much care,
Ken.
Mrs. Wacco
07-05-2010, 09:52 PM
Do you not realize that the best sex with a woman will always be when that woman feels that she is completely loved? Why do many men think that all women have some kind of agenda?
Because they DO! Women want to be loved and adored and partnered, especially if sex is involved. To your own words, the best sex "will always be" if the woman feels completely loved. That is not an agenda?
And your words suppose that you can't have great sex if you're not completely loved? Hogwash!! I wish women would give up their agendas of sex has to equal love and learn to have no agenda or expectation and just enjoy themselves. It's very freeing!
Here's another question: Which males in the room would be friends with a female if they knew ahead of time that no sex would be involved -- ever?
Plenty - I have had and have many men friends who by their choice are my friend and no sex is involved. I also know other women with men friends and no sex is involved. Broaden your horizons.
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Garden Goddess
07-06-2010, 08:38 AM
Because they DO! Women want to be loved and adored and partnered, especially if sex is involved. To your own words, the best sex "will always be" if the woman feels completely loved. That is not an agenda?
And your words suppose that you can't have great sex if you're not completely loved? Hogwash!! I wish women would give up their agendas of sex has to equal love and learn to have no agenda or expectation and just enjoy themselves. It's very freeing!
Plenty - I have had and have many men friends who by their choice are my friend and no sex is involved. I also know other women with men friends and no sex is involved. Broaden your horizons.
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I have probably just not met the right partner yet. Most were not interested in finding out what I like. I am not really so unusual.
Communication is a huge turn on for me.The sex would have gone off the scale (for them as well) if my partners would have been interested in pleasing me in this one way. Alas, these moments of bliss were few and far between.
My former partners were satisfied with hurried, superficial sex that just is not multi-dimensional, or satisfying enough for me. When someone won't communicate, they are leaving out a huge part of sex. Most people leave out another huge part of sex -- laughing.
I do have male friends. Most of my male friends are former partners. The others are friends from childhood.
I will take your advice and broaden my horizons.
Thad
07-06-2010, 09:59 AM
here's a bit
If you want to have a spiritual experience pick the right partner
If you want to have even more of a spiritual experience
pick the wrong partner
All the instant gratification one has come to expect from our gizmo society with the disposable tag
leave people out in left field looking for something that only comes through as a fringe benefit,
If you look good enough to have sex with it doesn't matter the rest for a moment, if your looking for a life partner, a mate, a father/mother for your children your looking for all the rest of it too, social coherence, position, options, conversational skills, inclusion, if your looking for security, you may not be looking for any of the above,
try it on see if its ready fit, toss it out if its to much trouble to be tailor fit, try on something else, after all its a disposable society
If life was more tribal then how someone fits in and melds with ones others lets more interaction and light into the dark places and there's work to be done with others while your observing an interest out of the corner of your eye to see how they are with others. With more time for inspection and talents for modifications its a wonder how many rise before you with qualities you never would have suspected as you zoomed outward in your never ending quest to find the right one.
Garden Goddess
07-06-2010, 11:05 AM
If you want to have even more of a spiritual experience
pick the wrong partner
I get what you mean, and I should probably be the most spiritual person in the world by now..but it would help to meet a person who also sees even disagreement as an opportunity.
If life was more tribal then how someone fits in and melds with ones others lets more interaction and light into the dark places and there's work to be done with others while your observing an interest out of the corner of your eye to see how they are with others. With more time for inspection and talents for modifications its a wonder how many rise before you with qualities you never would have suspected as you zoomed outward in your never ending quest to find the right one.
I see how being more tribal-oriented could help in that regard.
I mostly just want good sex and good communication. I really do not have a never ending quest for the right one. There are most likely many right ones. Timing may be key here.
Important: Communication. Chemistry. Health. Compassion. Feeling passionate about your role in the universe. The ability to have sex. (Otherwise why not just be friends?) Paying attention to one person at a time (serial monogamy) I'm not a great multi-tasker in that regard.
Things that don't matter: societal ideas of attractiveness, age, hair length, style of dress, political beliefs, religious, beliefs, material possessions, marriage, living together.
It's also important not to assume anything about your partner based on their gender.
Hope this helps increase the benefits of this discussion. I know it is helping me, in particular.
Braggi
07-06-2010, 12:02 PM
... I see how being more tribal-oriented could help in that regard.
I mostly just want good sex and good communication. ... There are most likely many right ones. Timing may be key here.
Important: Communication. Chemistry. Health. Compassion. Feeling passionate about your role in the universe. The ability to have sex. (Otherwise why not just be friends?) Paying attention to one person at a time (serial monogamy) I'm not a great multi-tasker in that regard.
Things that don't matter: societal ideas of attractiveness, age, hair length, style of dress, political beliefs, religious, beliefs, material possessions, marriage, living together. ...
You're making some good points here. I would add that "societal ideas of attractiveness" fits your argument if you're looking at Cosmo magazine and other almost completely artificial markers of beauty, however, there are some "true" indicators of outward beauty that appear universal, and these are supported by evolutionary theory. Humans "should" be beautiful, and most of us actually are. I think improving genetics creates more beautiful people over time. There are so many beautiful people who are not "classic" beauties, and this enriches the gene pool all that much more. If you morph the faces of 1,000 people (almost any people) you'll wind up with a classic beauty. I think the intent of Nature is that we all become beautiful and that children should nearly always be more beautiful than their parents.
My personal theory is that individual genetic development proceeds in an optimal way if the mother is well cared for, well loved, and is able to deliver her child into a relatively low stress environment. I think the best way we can insure a healthy future for humanity is to take good care of pregnant women and insure they will have all minimum needs met during the first years of their child's life. Not sure how to universally accomplish that, but I think it's a noble goal.
I like beautiful people but not everyone I like is beautiful. Diversity rocks and among friends and lovers there is a lot of room for it. Serial monogamy has its problems and so does polyamory.
Good sex and good conversation. The ability to prepare and share good food. I like having a partner in the kitchen as well as a partner in the sack!
Ah! There are so many things to explore with a good partner.
Uh, what was the question?
-Jeff
Thad
07-06-2010, 04:16 PM
I mostly just want good sex and good communication.
Its awesome how the same two subjects can mean such vastly different things to the same two people
The things to say here pretty much need to come from censored and uncensored, but a safe thing to say is the 3rd grade phenomena of the division between boys and girls has not been investigated enough.
Garden Goddess
07-06-2010, 06:12 PM
Its awesome how the same two subjects can mean such vastly different things to he and she
The things to say here pretty much need to come from censored and uncensored, but a safe thing to say is the 3rd grade phenomena of the division between boys and girls has not been investigated enough.
Good communication needs a receiver and a transmitter in this case both people are both transmitters and receivers. Person to person communication can be tricky, because all people have a different perspective. I would say good communication is when both people feel that they have been listened to and heard as far as what they wanted to communicate. (This entails asking for clarification and checking to see if you've understood correctly - on both sides.) If one person likes to check in once a day and the other likes to check in once a year, we have a problem.)
In turn, good sex would mean that each partner comes away from the experience feeling that they have received the gift of the other partner's attention to pleasuring them. (This means taking the time to find out what your partner likes, and if you don't even like the same things-you are incompatible.)
It's true that these things are individual for every person and every relationship, but I don't see why we can't define it generally in these terms. (Why does this need to be censored?)
Sara S
07-07-2010, 08:31 AM
Hey, I love Mykil because he's honest and not mired in verbiage..
I think not. Your presuppositions are showing. For example: I would never say to a man "Let's go to coffee so I can judge whether I want to "do" you (within the first 5 minutes!)" Ha ha ha! No self-respecting person of either sex would agree to that.
Plus, I expect the reason you go on these forums is recreational, that you never say anything serious, you like being the devil's advocate and you're probably too scared to meet any woman for coffee, because they are all smarter than you, for the reason that the small head is the one doing all the talking. Still want to meet me for coffee?
mykil
07-07-2010, 08:47 AM
I think not. Your presuppositions are showing. For example: I would never say to a man "Let's go to coffee so I can judge whether I want to "do" you (within the first 5 minutes!)" Ha ha ha! No self-respecting person of either sex would agree to that.
Plus, I expect the reason you go on these forums is recreational, that you never say anything serious, you like being the devil's advocate and you're probably too scared to meet any woman for coffee, because they are all smarter than you, for the reason that the small head is the one doing all the talking. Still want to meet me for coffee?
I stand by a statement such as the one I made for sure, we are all just human love first above all else, then we can be man and woman. once you get past this you are home free. With the rare exception of those that are still hanging on [what are you fifty now?] some get this right away, while others tend to never be enlightened. Evolution is a cruel mistress at times this goes without saying, man and woman friends you ask? I have plenty, but I will only choose the ones that love to play tease and are light enough to enjoy life in particular. And yes I can tell right away when meeting someone if they will be a lifetime friend, lover, or just a wet rag. If you notice I did say someone and not a woman...
<o:p> </o:p>
Hi Auntie Sara!!!
Braggi
07-07-2010, 08:19 PM
... And yes I can tell right away when meeting someone if they will be a lifetime friend, lover, or just a wet rag. If you notice I did say someone and not a woman...
I always knew you were bi.
Hey Edward!
-Jeff
Garden Goddess
07-08-2010, 09:50 AM
I prefer a quiet, laid back atmosphere where unhurried one-on-one communication is the norm, I like to dance and be joyful as well, but it is too much work to have to separate a lot of different distractions.
For me the words "do me" describes an extremely superficial act. I reacted in a negative way. So, I take responsibility and apologize for that.
The direct speech I prefer, from a potential partner would go something like this," I wish to speak with you in person as a prelude to possible negotiations regarding blissful, mind-altering sexual congress."
In the above verbiage, there can be no mistake as to the general gist of the meeting in question.
Sara S
07-08-2010, 06:50 PM
And I forgot to say that I also love him because he's so CUTE! Ah, if I were only 30 years younger....
I stand by a statement such as the one I made for sure, we are all just human love first above all else, then we can be man and woman. once you get past this you are home free. With the rare exception of those that are still hanging on [what are you fifty now?] some get this right away, while others tend to never be enlightened. Evolution is a cruel mistress at times this goes without saying, man and woman friends you ask? I have plenty, but I will only choose the ones that love to play tease and are light enough to enjoy life in particular. And yes I can tell right away when meeting someone if they will be a lifetime friend, lover, or just a wet rag. If you notice I did say someone and not a woman...
<o:p> </o:p>
Hi Auntie Sara!!!
Sara S
07-08-2010, 07:16 PM
Well, I think "do me" refers to sex, period; maybe the phrase seems superficial, but it's referring to the same act that we all love.
And please forgive me if it seemed that the "verbiage" I mentioned was referring to your posts; that is so not the case. I think your posts are well thought-out and sincere. I just meant that Mykil cuts to the chase, so to speak.
I prefer a quiet, laid back atmosphere where unhurried one-on-one communication is the norm, I like to dance and be joyful as well, but it is too much work to have to separate a lot of different distractions.
For me the words "do me" describes an extremely superficial act. I reacted in a negative way. So, I take responsibility and apologize for that.
The direct speech I prefer, from a potential partner would go something like this," I wish to speak with you in person as a prelude to possible negotiations regarding blissful, mind-altering sexual congress."
In the above verbiage, there can be no mistake as to the general gist of the meeting in question.
hales
07-08-2010, 11:28 PM
I guess I'll just jump in for a sec and observe that the exchange between Mykil and Garden Goddess seems to be nothing more than a difference of personal styles.. : ) I think we each have our own comfort zones, and sometimes we like to stay in them, or sometimes we can be coaxed out of them, especially when it comes to the opposite (or "other") sex. When chemistry is very good, for instance, all bets are off, as the game changes completely.. signals may be contradictory, and what looks like rejection may just be hiding a lot of desire..
In my experience, it's certainly important to be sensitive to the person I am interacting with, and I may even go too far in adapting to someone I am interested in, in a sexual or romantic way. I've been very interested in communication between the sexes for years, and I think I've gotten better at it, yet there is always a certain mystery to it.. and a paradox.. as, sometimes the exact opposite is also true. (for instance, being direct and not over-thinking, before expressing some kind of passion.. may result in failure/humiliation, or may possibly result in breaking through some mutual boundaries to intimacy; a win/win situation! )
As I age, I find I get a lot of enjoyment from communicating and playing with people I am attracted to, and the attachment to the outcome has gone down a bit, (ha ha, I know where you might be going with that.. yes, I meant hormones are less of a factor, but interest and enjoyment is still there.. )
Another factor of aging, for me, is that I really want to see beyond all of the games and trips that people tend to get caught up in and to be more loving and compassionate towards everyone, including my potential lovers, friends, etc.. I do not want to hurt anyone, ("don't want to use nobody, don't want to be abused".. thank you Mr. Dylan)
Well, that's all I have to say at the moment, but I think it's good to talk about this stuff, don't you?
Scott.
Kermit1941
09-02-2010, 10:06 AM
Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him want to ask her out?
Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?
Have some fun guys, but be honest.
Hello Lorrie.
I speak for myself only. One strong attraction is if a woman appears to be interested in me.
Another strong attraction is if the woman is tall, or is slim or is near average weight for her height, or shows intelligence in her reactions.
Kermit Rose
nicofrog
01-30-2011, 06:11 AM
Tell me men...What is the truth?
You want the truth from men? ask me how I know you are sincere?
Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him
want to ask her out? Naturally,this would be different(and rather uninteresting)from every man
the reference to "ask her out" would indicate to me someone who is convinced by,or somehow stuck in "the dating game"
which to me is a guarantee for discomfort,disillusion,and dissatisfaction from the get go. I feel for you if this is true,and invite
you to explore the other realms of relating that we are surrounded by in Sonoma and Marin counties.
Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?
I can't believe this is a serious question,you must just want a vibrant dialect.
Have some fun guys, but be honest.
Honesty,and fun are mostly relative,no? I am bein' "Honest" when I say I am attracted to all women right?
then,if the hell if Phiant is a woman, I am NOT attracted to it, and if it is a man, I am ashamed of it, and not even impressed
by the meager attempts at humor displaced in It's ugly Troll under the bridge behavior. I risk It's scorn
by saying I pity the creature. I can't help visualizing it sulking around the square,in a town full of for the most part friendly kind people.eeew.
I guess I'm seeing the worst part of myself,the selfish greedy judge,who waits for a chink in the armor of others who seem to be having fun
so Hopefully I can redeem a flicker of self esteem by knocking them off their horse.
And Guys, I think you were pretty real..the feminist is right of course (oops I'm objectifying again) but ,uh like its gonna TAKE us some time to
re-learn to think and talk bootie, maybe there's a better way ? Mallory,,you could help us?....Love the shrinking humorous story!I had one of those (oops objectifying again)only i think
it was ME :) Nico Morris a human male not hiding under moniker