the 'not road rage' anti-rant

[ceni]

To the driver behind me on Main street this morning.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
I'm really sorry for 'flipping you off'. I was driving slowly, yes, and in no particular hurry and didn’t use my turn signal it’s true (I had a coffee in one hand.) But it was a beautiful Friday morning and no one in my car was in any particular hurry. We were relaxed and having good conversation and not aware that the rest of the world might be in a tremendous hurry to get to wherever or disgusted that the kids are too demanding and/or ungrateful or just generally pissed off at the world for it’s injustice and lack of fairness.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
It was all coming down on you and I was holding you back – keeping you from fulfilling your goals, even - with my leisurely driving. I was completely unaware of the pressure and stress that may have been on you at the time.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
Your perturbed look really bothered me. That incredulous “come on, get on with it” look in my rearview made me react without really thinking and I apologize. I realized now that I overreacted with my crude hand gesture – it affected me more than I thought it would – and I’m sorry.

So, I hope I didn't make you too late. Arriving 4 seconds after you might otherwise have is a traumatic thing, I know.

[Vet-To-Pet]

I feel as if I must comment on your apology (?) to that driver. The fact that no one in your car was in no particular hurry on a "beautiful Friday morning" doesn't mean the rest of the population should slow down to your pace. There are any number of valid reasons for someone being in more of a hurry than you & your companions, such as an appointment for an important business opportunity, a rush to pick up someone who's counting on your ride, an emergency at home (or elsewhere), and so on. Using your turn signals is the law---not just when it's convenient, but all of the time. You are supposed to be communicating with other drivers about your intentions (changing lanes, making a turn) so that those around you can anticipate your actions & slow down or allow you to get ahead of them in a lane, etc. This is not just to "be nice", but it helps to avoid accidents---the driver behind you can slow down when they see you're about to turn, which will mean that you will be slowing down. Hence, they won't have to slam on their brakes when you suddenly, for no apparent reason, slow down, and then casually make your turn.

You are possibly responsible for one or more accidents (or someone else spilling their coffee in their lap in the vehicle behind you) due to your uncaring attitude about other people driving on the road with you. You probably don't consider it neccesary to use your directionals to indicate a turn when there's a pedestrian waiting to cross the street---it's just so simple to flick one little finger (not the one you used) to flip the directional up or down, allowing that pedestrian to know that they don't have to stand there waiting for you to drive past when you are going to turn before you reach the spot where they're standing.

It boils down to consideration for other people, whether they're other drivers or pedestrians or cyclists. People who can't be bothered to indicate their intentions are rude & lazy, or possibly need to have their turn signals repaired. You don't get to judge other people when you're the one who's in the wrong. So, if you're in no rush, let the other driver pass you---how difficult is that?
Paula/Vet-To-Pet






To the driver behind me on Main street this morning.<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
I'm really sorry for 'flipping you off'. I was driving slowly, yes, and in no particular hurry and didn’t use my turn signal it’s true (I had a coffee in one hand.) But it was a beautiful Friday morning and no one in my car was in any particular hurry. We were relaxed and having good conversation and not aware that the rest of the world might be in a tremendous hurry to get to wherever or disgusted that the kids are too demanding and/or ungrateful or just generally pissed off at the world for it’s injustice and lack of fairness.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
It was all coming down on you and I was holding you back – keeping you from fulfilling your goals, even - with my leisurely driving. I was completely unaware of the pressure and stress that may have been on you at the time.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
Your perturbed look really bothered me. That incredulous “come on, get on with it” look in my rearview made me react without really thinking and I apologize. I realized now that I overreacted with my crude hand gesture – it affected me more than I thought it would – and I’m sorry.

So, I hope I didn't make you too late. Arriving 4 seconds after you might otherwise have is a traumatic thing, I know.

[ThePhiant]

YOU GO GIRL!
TELL THEM HOW IT IS!
now had I written this exactly like you, I'd be called some new names........




I feel as if I must comment on your apology (?) to that driver. The fact that no one in your car was in no particular hurry on a "beautiful Friday morning" doesn't mean the rest of the population should slow down to your pace. There are any number of valid reasons for someone being in more of a hurry than you & your companions, such as an appointment for an important business opportunity, a rush to pick up someone who's counting on your ride, an emergency at home (or elsewhere), and so on. Using your turn signals is the law---not just when it's convenient, but all of the time. You are supposed to be communicating with other drivers about your intentions (changing lanes, making a turn) so that those around you can anticipate your actions & slow down or allow you to get ahead of them in a lane, etc. This is not just to "be nice", but it helps to avoid accidents---the driver behind you can slow down when they see you're about to turn, which will mean that you will be slowing down. Hence, they won't have to slam on their brakes when you suddenly, for no apparent reason, slow down, and then casually make your turn.

You are possibly responsible for one or more accidents (or someone else spilling their coffee in their lap in the vehicle behind you) due to your uncaring attitude about other people driving on the road with you. You probably don't consider it neccesary to use your directionals to indicate a turn when there's a pedestrian waiting to cross the street---it's just so simple to flick one little finger (not the one you used) to flip the directional up or down, allowing that pedestrian to know that they don't have to stand there waiting for you to drive past when you are going to turn before you reach the spot where they're standing.

It boils down to consideration for other people, whether they're other drivers or pedestrians or cyclists. People who can't be bothered to indicate their intentions are rude & lazy, or possibly need to have their turn signals repaired. You don't get to judge other people when you're the one who's in the wrong. So, if you're in no rush, let the other driver pass you---how difficult is that?
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

[Dixon]

I couldn't have said it better myself, Paula.

And really, ceni (whoever you may be), "...I...didn’t use my turn signal it’s true (I had a coffee in one hand.)"--that's just pathetic. I shouldn't have to tell you this: Put down your fuckin' coffee and drive (safely and considerately). Sheeeesh.

If it weren't for your sarcastic tone ("Arriving 4 seconds after you might otherwise have is a traumatic thing, I know."), I'd be applauding you for apologizing for giving the person you'd inconvenienced the finger. Few things are more revolting than expressing one's displeasure with someone's unsafe, inconsiderate driving only to have them verify their utter self-centeredness and immaturity by giving the finger in response.

Maybe you'll surprise me by learning something from this thread.

Dixon



I feel as if I must comment on your apology (?) to that driver. The fact that no one in your car was in no particular hurry on a "beautiful Friday morning" doesn't mean the rest of the population should slow down to your pace. There are any number of valid reasons for someone being in more of a hurry than you & your companions, such as an appointment for an important business opportunity, a rush to pick up someone who's counting on your ride, an emergency at home (or elsewhere), and so on. Using your turn signals is the law---not just when it's convenient, but all of the time. You are supposed to be communicating with other drivers about your intentions (changing lanes, making a turn) so that those around you can anticipate your actions & slow down or allow you to get ahead of them in a lane, etc. This is not just to "be nice", but it helps to avoid accidents---the driver behind you can slow down when they see you're about to turn, which will mean that you will be slowing down. Hence, they won't have to slam on their brakes when you suddenly, for no apparent reason, slow down, and then casually make your turn.

You are possibly responsible for one or more accidents (or someone else spilling their coffee in their lap in the vehicle behind you) due to your uncaring attitude about other people driving on the road with you. You probably don't consider it neccesary to use your directionals to indicate a turn when there's a pedestrian waiting to cross the street---it's just so simple to flick one little finger (not the one you used) to flip the directional up or down, allowing that pedestrian to know that they don't have to stand there waiting for you to drive past when you are going to turn before you reach the spot where they're standing.

It boils down to consideration for other people, whether they're other drivers or pedestrians or cyclists. People who can't be bothered to indicate their intentions are rude & lazy, or possibly need to have their turn signals repaired. You don't get to judge other people when you're the one who's in the wrong. So, if you're in no rush, let the other driver pass you---how difficult is that?
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

[ThePhiant]

Ceni,
I applauded your introspectiveness.
unlike some foulmouthed atheist acting like a troll, you are able to take responsibility for your actions and apologize for your gestures.
yes, and you are right the actual time loss from the driver behind you was most likely minimal.
maybe not 4 seconds but more like 8 seconds


I couldn't have said it better myself, Paula.

And really, ceni (whoever you may be), "...I...didn’t use my turn signal it’s true (I had a coffee in one hand.)"--that's just pathetic. I shouldn't have to tell you this: Put down your fuckin' coffee and drive (safely and considerately). Sheeeesh.

If it weren't for your sarcastic tone ("Arriving 4 seconds after you might otherwise have is a traumatic thing, I know."), I'd be applauding you for apologizing for giving the person you'd inconvenienced the finger. Few things are more revolting than expressing one's displeasure with someone's unsafe, inconsiderate driving only to have them verify their utter self-centeredness and immaturity by giving the finger in response.

Maybe you'll surprise me by learning something from this thread.

Dixon

[urlove]

It was very interesting reading all the responses to this message. I can relate to many of them. I have my own issues with how I think other people should drive, and I experience a lot of anger around it all. I have been looking at the energy I put out to others as I drive. I consider myself a peaceful person, yet I feel a lot of rage when driving. I think it is ok and healthy to feel the anger, but I don't want to add to all the negativity in the world by spewing it out on others. I also realized that under the anger is fear. When someone cuts you off, runs a stop sign, etc the potential for you being physically hurt is real. Since driving is somewhat anonymous it is easy to project onto others that that person is bad because they did this or that. I have had friends that are great people but bad drivers. I went to this training recently that taught HO'OPONOPONO. The presenter said to say, thank you and I love you to everything in your life. Even if you don't like it. I have been trying this when I drive and it actually has helped. Well, that is my 2 cents.


To the driver behind me on Main street this morning.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
I'm really sorry for 'flipping you off'. I was driving slowly, yes, and in no particular hurry and didn’t use my turn signal it’s true (I had a coffee in one hand.) But it was a beautiful Friday morning and no one in my car was in any particular hurry. We were relaxed and having good conversation and not aware that the rest of the world might be in a tremendous hurry to get to wherever or disgusted that the kids are too demanding and/or ungrateful or just generally pissed off at the world for it’s injustice and lack of fairness.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
It was all coming down on you and I was holding you back – keeping you from fulfilling your goals, even - with my leisurely driving. I was completely unaware of the pressure and stress that may have been on you at the time.<o:p></o:p>
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
Your perturbed look really bothered me. That incredulous “come on, get on with it” look in my rearview made me react without really thinking and I apologize. I realized now that I overreacted with my crude hand gesture – it affected me more than I thought it would – and I’m sorry.

So, I hope I didn't make you too late. Arriving 4 seconds after you might otherwise have is a traumatic thing, I know.

[podfish]

The responses about showing respect for other drivers are pretty much on track, but you can take it a bit farther, too. Realize that what's going on out on the roads is a bunch of people operating heavy machinery in a poorly controlled and loosely coordinated manner. Take it seriously as a task you have to accomplish. Realize that you impact how well others can perform the task too. It's nice if you have no need to be efficient about it, and it's too bad if driving's a task you rather dislike. But unfortunately we have no way to separate drivers into like-minded groups. It goes both ways, too, though - people who really have little interest in driving don't have much alternative. It's kind of amazing it works at all - I don't think anyone who was driving one of the first cars would have believed that this kind of driving environment would even be possible!