Why Me?

[Lorrie]

Well, Really...what can ya do about it. If it happens, it has happened. Once it has happened it becomes the past and you can't change the past, you can only move on from there.
Dwelling on the negative brings more negativity so you morn what disappointments you have experienced, learn from what could have been different to make it a more posititive experience, and try that next time.

Or just say "Oh well" like I do.

[francesca]

"Oh well"

:thumbsup: How eloquently spoken. It would be wonderful if mankind did not hold a grudge or negative feelings when things do not turn out they way they thought "it should". Expectations play a strong roll in the outcome of certain circumstances. Lack of fullfillment in situations that resulted in dissapointment creates a space of "what if". The what if's are what binds us to the past and we have to move on in order to heal ourselves. "Oh well" does not work for me. I do try to see the good and bad in it all and know there was a something I needed to learn from the experience and then move on, yet, do not dwell on it because, yes, why let it rule your life? The universe's sense of humor paints a stroke of color on the moment and then you can laugh out loud:lol2: :lol2: :woohoo:

[ThePhiant]

why NOT you.
It couldn't have happened to a better person!
you wouldn't have been the same person without it happening!



Well, Really...what can ya do about it. If it happens, it has happened. Once it has happened it becomes the past and you can't change the past, you can only move on from there.
Dwelling on the negative brings more negativity so you morn what disappointments you have experienced, learn from what could have been different to make it a more posititive experience, and try that next time.

Or just say "Oh well" like I do.

[Lorrie]

That's a compliment right?
~Lorrie

why NOT you.
It couldn't have happened to a better person!
you wouldn't have been the same person without it happening!

[ThePhiant]

Extraordinarily !



That's a compliment right?
~Lorrie

[Tracy Carnahan]

Loss, pain and betrayal do not just evaporate with an "Oh well" attitude. True "mourning" can be a long difficult process and this person is in the anger stage, one of the first stages. To "blow off" any stage stalls the healing process. Horrible experiences don't become the past until the person that has had the experience gets through mourning. I think perhaps this person and their feelings are not being given the respect all human beings deserve.
Tracy


Well, Really...what can ya do about it. If it happens, it has happened. Once it has happened it becomes the past and you can't change the past, you can only move on from there.
Dwelling on the negative brings more negativity so you morn what disappointments you have experienced, learn from what could have been different to make it a more posititive experience, and try that next time.

Or just say "Oh well" like I do.

[paulhenrys]

Just because language allows you to ask a question doesn't mean the question is either useful or meaningful. "Why?" implies a reason. "Why me?" implies arrogance. There's no reason to assume a reason. There's no reason for my life to be of any more value than anyone elses, except for the fact that I value my own life.

"Why me?" could just as easily be phrased, "Why not you?". Are either of these questions helpful to anybody?

This is the wrong question. Find another question to ask.

[Lorrie]

But it is not a "wrong" question. It is my question. So you say I am wrong then.
I agree... you do need to mourn what was or could have been. It is to the degree in your life you let it take you. How sad and how long are you going to be sad.
You can choose how you feel.
I don't want to live in the sadness of "can't have" "or wanting", so I would look for what I can have and give my self the chance to enjoy pursueing the opportunities of availablility.

You know, this all makes sense...just how applicable is it, huh.
I think people could look on it as "easier said than done" in some situations I know.:heart::2cents:

[Mark Chiang]

If it happens, it has happened. Once it has happened it becomes the past and you can't change the past, you can only move on from there.
...So.... What happened? :hmmm:

[Lorrie]

Well, basically ... LIFE HAPPENED...
I am being sooooooooooo general.:heart:


So.... What happened? :hmmm:

[shellebelle]

Ya know I thought about this question and thought WOW!

Why Me?

Why did I meet the wonderful spouse I have and the wonderful lovers?
Why did my kids turnout good, strong and full of life?
Why am I happy?
Why do things get rough but always get way way better than where they began?
Why am I going to be able to buy a house this year?
Why do I have such a great job?
Why am I looking forward to being in the Apple Blossom Parade?
Why am I missed when I am gone and loved when I am there?
Why do I celebrate each and every day?
Why do I love my friends and appreciate them?

All the whys of the wonderful world are there to ask and for m e there seems to be one great answer!

WHY - Because I am me!

[Dark Shadows]

I think if you are really sad about something, that it's okay to show it. A sincere and caring person would be there to listen and just let the person mourn for whatever loss or shitty thing that happened, without expecting them to snap out of it immediately.

It's not healthy to be up all the time, masking the pain. Yes, it is great to be alive and appreciate the simple things. But life is not all peaks, there are valleys and sometimes you need to hang out there to really appreciate the highs.



Ya know I thought about this question and thought WOW!

Why Me?

Why did I meet the wonderful spouse I have and the wonderful lovers?
Why did my kids turnout good, strong and full of life?
Why am I happy?
Why do things get rough but always get way way better than where they began?
Why am I going to be able to buy a house this year?
Why do I have such a great job?
Why am I looking forward to being in the Apple Blossom Parade?
Why am I missed when I am gone and loved when I am there?
Why do I celebrate each and every day?
Why do I love my friends and appreciate them?

All the whys of the wonderful world are there to ask and for m e there seems to be one great answer!

WHY - Because I am me!

[shellebelle]

I don't see anything that says this was sad I looked and couldn't find it so I went happy!

But speaking of sadness, yes, I do snap out of my sadness fairly quickly! I celebrate life and thus my lows are not jumps from 10 story buildings but a brief stumble across life's curbs!

I have had my downs mostly to do with miscarriages, illness and bad relationships that required more emotionally than I had left. Yet in the end I made a choice to focus on living and enjoying life.

When you think about it, everything boils down to priorities. Everything. Living in laughter, joy and fun is mine!


I think if you are really sad about something, that it's okay to show it. A sincere and caring person would be there to listen and just let the person mourn for whatever loss or shitty thing that happened, without expecting them to snap out of it immediately.

It's not healthy to be up all the time, masking the pain. Yes, it is great to be alive and appreciate the simple things. But life is not all peaks, there are valleys and sometimes you need to hang out there to really appreciate the highs.

[Melodymama]

I don't see anything that says this was sad I looked and couldn't find it so I went happy!

But speaking of sadness, yes, I do snap out of my sadness fairly quickly! I celebrate life and thus my lows are not jumps from 10 story buildings but a brief stumble across life's curbs!

I have had my downs mostly to do with miscarriages, illness and bad relationships that required more emotionally than I had left. Yet in the end I made a choice to focus on living and enjoying life.

When you think about it, everything boils down to priorities. Everything. Living in laughter, joy and fun is mine!

This is a great way to live, Shelley. I will quibble with your "boiling down" term. I see it more as a stew, but boiling down leaves no moisture, and that can be a BIG problem. I, too, have been practicing this attitude through HUGE changes the past few years. At first, I could stay longer in the sadness because I am very familiar with the pensive, somber state. When I made a habit of noticing what was really wonderful in my life, I could pull out easier. Now, I am noticing that I am often taken aback when the amazing things happen, wondering why I deserved such a good situation. It seems I trained myself to expect crisis over many years of repeated difficulties raising a child with often serious medical issues. Now I am trying to stay in the positive, expecting nothing specific and having curiosity about what can happen. Even in sad situations, there is some beauty, and always opportunity for learning and laughing. I am still so new at this that it takes me by surprise and leaves me speechless (yes) when I am surrounded by good energy, and I know that my attitude has been a party to the energy. If we all could notice the good stuff as easily as we see the icky stuff, we sure would be walking, dancing, singing, laughing, and living more lightly. Can you imagine lots of people just skipping down the sidewalk? Now I see my life as a process and things happen, so why not me? It is the way it is. I can see it through whatever lens I choose.

Wish I could cheer with you tomorrow, girlfriend. The Love Choir is the first entry in the 3rd division, so we will see you guys come by us. Check out the big heart on the truck. It was my idea and creation with some help from great friends. My art offering to living in light and love. GOOOOO WAAAACOOO !!! WE DESERVE FREE WAVES!!

[Shnookums]

I'm currently going through the same feelings.
I don't say "Oh well..."




Well, Really...what can ya do about it. If it happens, it has happened. Once it has happened it becomes the past and you can't change the past, you can only move on from there.
Dwelling on the negative brings more negativity so you morn what disappointments you have experienced, learn from what could have been different to make it a more posititive experience, and try that next time.

Or just say "Oh well" like I do.

[ChristineL]

In my case, asking "why not me?" allows me to get through, and past, bad times a lot faster than I would otherwise. I also don't spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself as a result. In my case, that question is helpful to me.


Just because language allows you to ask a question doesn't mean the question is either useful or meaningful. "Why?" implies a reason. "Why me?" implies arrogance. There's no reason to assume a reason. There's no reason for my life to be of any more value than anyone elses, except for the fact that I value my own life.

"Why me?" could just as easily be phrased, "Why not you?". Are either of these questions helpful to anybody?

This is the wrong question. Find another question to ask.

[Lenny]

Talk about ATTITUDE!


I think if you are really sad about something, that it's okay to show it. A sincere and caring person would be there to listen and just let the person mourn for whatever loss or shitty thing that happened, without expecting them to snap out of it immediately. It's not healthy to be up all the time, masking the pain. Yes, it is great to be alive and appreciate the simple things. But life is not all peaks, there are valleys and sometimes you need to hang out there to really appreciate the highs.

[Lorrie]

I'm currently going through the same feelings.
I don't say "Oh well..."



Actually, I don't really say "Oh well" till I know there is nothing left that I can do to fix, solve, or repair the happening that has occurred....after I have come to grips, with the fact that it is out of my hands, or after I have mourned the loss, or simply come to accept the outcome as it is...then I usually will say "Oh well". Basically, I guess, this is a way I can forgive where needed and forget it, so that I can put it behind me and move on...


where a door has closed another is open elsewhere...go find it...

[Lorrie]

Although, I don't think I am yet over my mother's death in 1999...So I still tear up when I think about her and remember that she's gone.


Actually, I don't really say "Oh well" till I know there is nothing left that I can do to fix, solve, or repair the happening that has occurred....after I have come to grips, with the fact that it is out of my hands, or after I have mourned the loss, or simply come to accept the outcome as it is...then I usually will say "Oh well". Basically, I guess, this is a way I can forgive where needed and forget it, so that I can put it behind me and move on...


where a door has closed another is open elsewhere...go find it...