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Over the past year or so I have been dating once again, I haven’t dated I think since forever. One thing I have noticed is women over forty are so wonderful in this area; they are full of life, extremely well talented and just amazingly beautiful, but most of all they are very well educated and extremely smart. Know this is important to me. I have never wanted more for myself in all my life. :heart: <o:p></o:p>
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The problem I keep running into over and over, again and again, is every woman in my age group I have been dating has suddenly sprouted Boundaries for herself. This is all I here over and over. I think it becomes a mandatory word once women hit forty. This is probably not a bad thing I keep reminding myself, after all this is their life we are talking about and they can do what ever they need to do to keep their lives on track and keep their spirits high on life to speak.<o:p></o:p>
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Now men my age (42) are just looking to go through there mid life crisis with whomever will have them. Someone new and entertaining is never a bad idea! I really was considering buying a corvette and zooming all over town looking stupid as all hell. I settled for a Toyota camery that I love to death. The gas mileage is just to die for. Glad that past! <o:p></o:p>
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Now practicing being shallow has become a new hobby of mine, as some of you might know first hand. This has become a yearlong passion for me and I am getting good at it! I really have no intention of stopping! I flirt with almost everyone that comes through my doors. Men, women, gay, straight, whatever creed you may be, my wrath has no boundaries! I have chased off a few. I have produced a reputation of sorts for myself so I am told. For the most I have really become good friends with most that really get my since of humor as dry and sarcastic as It may be. I am extremely happy and am getting happier every day!!!<o:p></o:p>
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In the past year or so I have been on about thirty dates or so; dating older, younger, and pretty much all walks of life with everything in between. Really trying to get to know every aspect of the human relationship as far as my wit and charm will take me. <o:p></o:p>
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The one thing that sticks out the most of all over and over is that younger women just wanna have fun! They don’t care to become friends right off the bat. Not that it isn’t important to them! They are just as willing to jump in the sack with a guy as the guys are with them. This is important to men going through there mid life crisis, getting laid! That is a big part of it all as I am finding out. Now if the women my age were willing to jump in bed with me I would be all over that, but the fact remains the same, they aren’t! They are stuck on the Boundary issue and “we need to become friends first”. This is a big evolutionary mistake if you ask me!!! Why is it this way? What has changed when women turn forty? What on earth has made them turn the page and start looking for a peaceful meaningful relationship? How do they expect to win a man’s heart if they don’t sleep with them first? And most of all how come they don’t seem to get this? Men like younger women for a reason that is simple and clear, not at all what women seem to think it is! In one man’s opinion!!! :2cents: <o:p></o:p>
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Vet-To-Pet
11-22-2006, 11:57 PM
I hope this is a joke...
While you're going thru your mid-life crisis, are women over a certain age supposed to just jump into bed because that's your idea of a "good time" ???
You yourself said that middle-aged women have a lot ot offer---intelligence, confidence, varued interests, financial stability, (often) healthy lifestyles & fitness, and much more. We're not goig thur the mid-life crisis, YOU are. So why should you wonder why we don't want to have random sex with men who are just looking for some "fun"?? I think you've answerd your own question, my friend. find yourself some hot little barfly & get thru your crisis. if you come out at the other end without any serious STDs, then you might want to look into meeting some women who are interested with meeting men who think with their "big heads', not their "little ones".
Good luck~
:whackasmilie:
:yinyang: Why men date younger women:Yinyangv:
:idea: Over the past year or so I have been dating once again, I haven’t dated I think since forever. One thing I have noticed is women over forty are so wonderful in this area; they are full of life, extremely well talented and just amazingly beautiful, but most of all they are very well educated and extremely smart. Know this is important to me. I have never wanted more for myself in all my life. :heart: <o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
The problem I keep running into over and over, again and again, is every woman in my age group I have been dating has suddenly sprouted Boundaries for herself. This is all I here over and over. I think it becomes a mandatory word once women hit forty. This is probably not a bad thing I keep reminding myself, after all this is their life we are talking about and they can do what ever they need to do to keep their lives on track and keep their spirits high on life to speak.<o:p></o:p>
Now men my age (42) are just looking to go through there mid life crisis with whomever will have them. Someone new and entertaining is never a bad idea! I really was considering buying a corvette and zooming all over town looking stupid as all hell. I settled for a Toyota camery that I love to death. The gas mileage is just to die for. Glad that past! <o:p></o:p>
Now practicing being shallow has become a new hobby of mine, as some of you might know first hand. This has become a yearlong passion for me and I am getting good at it! I really have no intention of stopping! I flirt with almost everyone that comes through my doors. Men, women, gay, straight, whatever creed you may be, my wrath has no boundaries! I have chased off a few. I have produced a reputation of sorts for myself so I am told. For the most I have really become good friends with most that really get my since of humor as dry and sarcastic as It may be. I am extremely happy and am getting happier every day!!!<o:p></o:p>
In the past year or so I have been on about thirty dates or so; dating older, younger, and pretty much all walks of life with everything in between. Really trying to get to know every aspect of the human relationship as far as my wit and charm will take me. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p>
</o:p>
The one thing that sticks out the most of all over and over is that younger women just wanna have fun! They don’t care to become friends right off the bat. Not that it isn’t important to them! They are just as willing to jump in the sack with a guy as the guys are with them. This is important to men going through there mid life crisis, getting laid! That is a big part of it all as I am finding out. Now if the women my age were willing to jump in bed with me I would be all over that, but the fact remains the same, they aren’t! They are stuck on the Boundary issue and “we need to become friends first”. This is a big evolutionary mistake if you ask me!!! Why is it this way? What has changed when women turn forty? What on earth has made them turn the page and start looking for a peaceful meaningful relationship? How do they expect to win a man’s heart if they don’t sleep with them first? And most of all how come they don’t seem to get this? Men like younger women for a reason that is simple and clear, not at all what women seem to think it is! In one man’s opinion!!! :2cents: <o:p></o:p>
pexpert6
11-23-2006, 09:10 AM
I suspect that "mykil" wrote why older men date younger women partially tongue-in-cheek.
Myself, I date who appeals to me, and I enjoy spending time with. I don't date according to age, I pay attention to each person, and notice how I feel. Plenty of young cute women are unappealing to spend time with, just like plenty of older women, as much as I might respect them and appreciate what they're up to in life.
But I agree that lots of otherwise viable choices in women near my age (at least in the Bay Area) are absolute pains in the ass: unrealistically picky, anxious to find (or manufacture) fault, focused on negatives, neuroses and demands of Life (and suitors).
There are men who have worked too hard in life (and on themselves, AND in making past women in their life happy, and, and, and), who yearn for some ease when it comes to dating, NOT endless mindreading, walking on eggshells, fending off hassles, etc. Far too often, these women who are only satisfied with the fictions of novels, movies, or the concoctions of their imaginations will blow some real or imagined issue out of proportion as an excuse why the newest man proves once again why "there are no good men." ("Conscious?" "Evolved?" Yeah, just like "HWP" means that badly-out-of-shape means you're "real," and women who are fit aren't "real.")
Any wonder why a man would choose a simpler, younger woman? How often do you hear men say they don't want drama? Men want fun and ease, we also want to feel safe to be intimate and appreciated (including a couple warts).
I know plenty of older men who don't date much, great guys that in any other part of the world women would go nuts for. (And I HAVE spent lots of time in other parts of the world and US.) But not so much the women around here. We don't have a problem investing in a potential relationship, we've done it before. We just don't care to exhaust ourselves in futile attempts anymore. We're realistic: we don't expect the hottest babe around, we don't expect our lovers to act like porn stars, we won't always get our way or what we want, we know that a good relationship takes some work. (A fact that quite a few older women around here often forget.)
No, you want a perfect Johnny Depp. One that accepts all those quirks about you that you can't be bothered to do anything about. One that will jump through hoops forever, tiptoeing through a minefield of slights caused by past jerks you were stupid enough to fall for, patient enough to wait for months (years) while you decide he's good enough (perhaps only to kick him to the curb when you decide he's not "perfect" enough), tolerant of being treat badly, forgiving when you jump some "bad boy" on a whim, accept all the criticisms while ignoring any good traits we might have.
Yeah. Sign us up for that!
Can't you recognize that it's exhausting? Can't you understand why we just want someone who is fun, accepts us, doesn't generate lots of junk for us to cope with. After slaying dragons all day (or getting roasted by them), who wants to be criticized by women for our choice of who we spend time with? Maybe she's not as "mature," or bright, or some other great trait you are (or think you are), but life is easier, we're happier, and she's happy with us, even if it only lasts a few dates.
Men do their damndest to be the hero for women, we TRY to give you what you want, even if it's insanely fickle. We shut up and put on our armor again each morning; we could whine, but to what end? We could rant about all the faults we see in you, but what would that bring? (Lots of flames, I'm sure! I can't wait to see what crap I get for telling the truth.)
I expect few women to see the truth in this, and few who really take it in and learn from a man's perspective. But a few would be a good thing. It might even start a sea change. The Bay Area might no longer top the list for percentage of singles (unhappy singles that can't make a relationship last).
I'll just continue to work on me, work on what's important in my world, enjoy my friends and all the possibilities that cross my path, knowing there's a great match for me. I don't have to put any more attention or energy on unhappily self-destructive women (regardless of their age), and I don't have to defend my choices. I WILL send love and light to all those who haven't discovered how to create their own happiness, prayers they wake up and notice they have created their lives and relationships to be what they are.
kimpeck
11-23-2006, 10:02 AM
"Men are beasts, women are insane"
"women are an alien life form we have leared to communicate with.. sort of"
"A woman sets out to change a man, and after she had changed him, she does not like him."
"In all of human history, you can count the men that understood women on the fingers of one thumb"
I was with a wonderful woman for 22 years.. She died peacefully one after noon while I was at work.. She was my friend, lover, helper, and twelve years my senior.. Her departure is a dark cloak I still wear, four years later..
"What a wonderful world it is that has GIRLS in it!!"
peace 'n stuff
Kimpeck
Roland Jacopetti
11-23-2006, 10:44 PM
Hi, Vet2Pet - By and large I agree with you, but I hate the idea of the world being divided into sane and healthy middle-aged women who wouldn't touch that guy with...well...with anything...and on the other side "hot little barflies" who love that little head and are going to give him an STD. There are people of both sexes who enjoy recreational lovemaking in various ways, and not all of them are diseased airheads. No offense intended.
R.J. Binky
I hope this is a joke...
While you're going thru your mid-life crisis, are women over a certain age supposed to just jump into bed because that's your idea of a "good time" ???
You yourself said that middle-aged women have a lot ot offer---intelligence, confidence, varued interests, financial stability, (often) healthy lifestyles & fitness, and much more. We're not goig thur the mid-life crisis, YOU are. So why should you wonder why we don't want to have random sex with men who are just looking for some "fun"?? I think you've answerd your own question, my friend. find yourself some hot little barfly & get thru your crisis. if you come out at the other end without any serious STDs, then you might want to look into meeting some women who are interested with meeting men who think with their "big heads', not their "little ones".
Good luck~
:whackasmilie:
Vet-To-Pet
11-23-2006, 11:44 PM
This is all going around & around in a circle--I think that once we (humans, in our culture) reach middle age (40s-60s), both men & women alike have experienced enough emotional pain/disappointment that we're ALL a bit gun-shy. No matter how much we'd like to be involved in a healthy committed relationship, we can't help but be cautious about getting "serious" with someone new---before getting swept up in the whole "Hallmark" vision of what we'd like to find with a partner, we want to be very sure that the other person is someone we want to bare our soul (& other parts) to. To allow ourselves to be vulnerable to someone once again (after how many broken hearts?) takes some courage. This is true of both genders, I'd guess. You just can't go thru life getting hurt or, at the very least, disappointed, without learning to not "touch the hot stove".
As far as "having fun", I don't believe that too many men or women who aren't in relationships wouldn't jump at the chance to get out, meet new people (male & female) while doing interesting, fun things of all kinds, from shell collecting on the beach, to getting all dressed up to attend a charity event. You don't need someone 20 or 30 years your junior to enjoy doing things like that. If a man (or woman) feels the need to spend time with a "simpler, younger" person, I feel sorry for that person. Communication between people is all it takes to determine if you're interested in getting to know each other better.
Women have also done a lot of work on themselves, for their own enrichment as well as learning how to have better interpersonal relationships. I don't think we're overly picky or unrealistic about the kind of man we'd like to meet (speaking of overly picky, why are middle-aged men so insistant on dating women half their age?). I don't want or expect to meet a "movie star" (I don't really care for Johnny Depp!), I simply want to meet some men who are honest about who they are, what they're looking for in a relationship, and can enjoy my company, coversation about things other than sports, and exploring what this wonderful region has to offer. Relationships require some work (not just at the beginning, but "tune-ups" along the way), but they don't have to be difficult. Being oneself & being open for who the other person is shouldn't have to be such a Rubik's Cube!
Try not to be so negative about someone you haven't even met yet! If you expect to meet a woman who's unpleasant, impatient, intimidating, unresonably critical, intolerant, etc, then you'll most likely read those things into something the woman says or does that might not mean what you suspect at all! Don't project what you expect! Go into each new meeting with an open mind, be yourself, and sooner or later you should meet the woman who is "just right" (al la "Goldielocks"). But giving up because of past mistakes (yours or the other person's) is too sad.
I'm an unabashed optimist. I refuse to throw in the towel & quit when "The Right Guy" might be the next one I meet...
Happy hunting~
Smiles,
Vet To Pet
alanora
11-24-2006, 07:29 AM
I would like to inform our wacco crowd of a bit of info that seems lacking, even though I am fairly certain I will get argument of some kind in response. Check it out. Safe sex is a misnomer. Herpes virus can be transmitted whether or not there is an active lesion and whether or not a condom is used. I am sure there are other viruses as well that work the same way. Perhaps this is some of what inspires hesitation in some of us older women. Somehow it seems that the risk would be ok if in committed relationship, but certainly not for a fling with someone barely known. I do not have a place to refer for data but am sure it can be found. Ask your md what he would tell his own family. Try a google search if you are interested. Perhaps youth is not so concerned as their indomitable mind state feels protective. Maybe others feel differently than I due to my indoctrination into germ theory as a nurse many moons ago. Thanks for allowing me the space to interject my note of caution. Thanks for reading. I am glad that I experienced a bit of sexual freedom in a cleaner time, before becoming a nurse! Mindy(spoil sport)
jeeves
11-24-2006, 08:48 AM
DITTO vet to pet!!!!!!!!!
I hope this is a joke...
While you're going thru your mid-life crisis, are women over a certain age supposed to just jump into bed because that's your idea of a "good time" ???
You yourself said that middle-aged women have a lot ot offer---intelligence, confidence, varued interests, financial stability, (often) healthy lifestyles & fitness, and much more. We're not goig thur the mid-life crisis, YOU are. So why should you wonder why we don't want to have random sex with men who are just looking for some "fun"?? I think you've answerd your own question, my friend. find yourself some hot little barfly & get thru your crisis. if you come out at the other end without any serious STDs, then you might want to look into meeting some women who are interested with meeting men who think with their "big heads', not their "little ones".
Good luck~
:whackasmilie:
mykil
11-24-2006, 02:21 PM
My guess is it might be a little late to step back, reevaluate my stance on life, and ask if any one wants to go to dinner! I prefer women in there forties with a sense of humor to say. Someone that can react to my dry wit and keep me on my toes! I am a little bit to handle as you might gather. And really sex is not that important to me, someone that cares and actually gives a dam is just fine with me. Thanks for all the great feedback to my shallowness blurb and keep it coming. This is what makes life worth living, people that really read and comment on the stupid things along with the well written! Although after reading Pexpert6 comment I may just stop dating women altogether!!! Not that that’s a bad thing!!! :yinyang: PEACE:Yinyangv:
rodeogal
11-25-2006, 11:01 AM
Kudos to you for being brave enough to write your blurb in the first place! I'm sure you knew it would spark some interesting responses. (Actually, if I wasn't already committed, you sound like a fun person! And I'm not talking sexually--for those who will assume I am.) I especially liked Pexpert6's comment.......and, even as a woman, I agree! I see too many women, some of them my friends, that expect too much perfection in a man. Geez! I don't get why they can't just accept that men and women tick differently! Now, as for myself, I'm PROUD to say that my hunny and I have a completely accepting relationship. There are things about each other that we don't like, but we completely and deeply love each other none-the-less. In fact, today, he's out of town with his adult kids and friends, and I'm home alone..........and we're both totally okay with that. (Actually, I'm totally excited that I got to use my new Dyson vacuum this morning!! :shades: ) His adult daughter still thinks that he and her mom will still get back together after 15 years of being apart. Do I take offense to that? No, I don't see a reason why I need to.
Enough from me.......just wanted to let you know that there are women out here who appreciate that there are men like you out there..........mid-life crisis and all! By the way, I'm 14 years younger than my hunny! :heart:
My guess is it might be a little late to step back, reevaluate my stance on life, and ask if any one wants to go to dinner! I prefer women in there forties with a sense of humor to say. Someone that can react to my dry wit and keep me on my toes! I am a little bit to handle as you might gather. And really sex is not that important to me, someone that cares and actually gives a dam is just fine with me. Thanks for all the great feedback to my shallowness blurb and keep it coming. This is what makes life worth living, people that really read and comment on the stupid things along with the well written! Although after reading Pexpert6 comment I may just stop dating women altogether!!! Not that that’s a bad thing!!! :yinyang: PEACE:Yinyangv:
fluteman
03-18-2007, 08:34 AM
Thank you to the last poster who revived this thread...I recall reading it some months ago and now I've re-read it again...hmm...again I find myself shaking my head a lot but nodding a few times as well. I am still somewhat confused by all the statements of "men/women in this area and age range always do x/y/z etc"...as if we are all mindless automatons who cannot think for ourselves??!?!
Now, I know full well that all areas of the world (even smaller, hippyish communities like ours) always have local culture and flavor...but once again, those of us in this community are much, much more than the sum of our parts. People are always leaving and joining this community, and perhaps, recently rejoining after living somewhere else (like myself), which brings in a constant wealth of new ideas, thoughts and feelings...so despite someone perhaps saying that "nothing ever changes around here", yes, things do change...especially from within, if we allow it, of course.
Call me strange, call me a dreamer, what have you, I will never believe fully in my heart that anyone of any gender acts out such blandish stereotypes as I have seen hinted at in this thread. Of course, I have had my moments of anger at the female gender, or even at my own maleness (who honestly hasn't done this?)...but when these silly and unnecessary thoughts evaporate, I find myself once again seeing women as interesting individuals, rather than overly picky Borg collective-ites. :)
I'm currently 32, and I haven't been dating much over the past few years. Family demands and soul searching took top priority...and it's interesting to be where I am now. In my early 20's I was hell bent on finding Ms. Right and getting married...and all of my elders kept telling me "what is your hurry, wait until your 30!". At the time, I was seriously offended at their words...what right did they have to tell me to wait?
Hmm...well, such is life, sometimes. :)
Now that I'm in my early 30s...the concept of marriage seems like a long distant dream to me. I do think of it from time to time...wonder about having children but the reality is that I'm so accustomed to the single life that part of me seems to have forgotten about the whole idea. Of course, my situation isn't a typical one due to what I've been through in recent years...but hey, each day I can still draw breath is a blessing to me. The simple things are what is truly valuable in life...so shouldn't our approach to love and romance be simple, as well? It only gets complicated if we make it so...
In any event, I recall reading an article by the former mayor of Santa Rosa a few years ago which discussed some recent studies about the younger generation. These studies had found there to be a huge gap in younger folks in the late 20s to early 30's age bracket in Sonoma County. And the reason they deduced (by interviews) shouldn't surprise anyone...basically these folks (like myself) were moving away because of the skyrocketing costs of living. Younger couples wanted to start families, buy homes and pursue their dreams, but the simple truth is that they couldn't afford it, so they were moving away, in search of a better life elsewhere.
Over the past few years (not so much recently) I have spent many, many nights out in local nightclubs and dance venues, and one simple truth has become readily apparent to me. There are not many single women in my age group around these parts...at least not in the places I used to frequent. I'd see a few folks in their early 20's, many in their 40s-60s...and quite a few single guys in my age range...and for reasons I can't explain...the single women we were all hoping to meet were incognito. I don't have any real answers about this, especially as some of these venues that I attended were wonderful, family places, and even a bit more confusing as I've heard time and time again in my life how much women love to dance. Hmm, apparently not, in the Bay Area, unless there really is an overall shortage of women?
And it's not just Sonoma County. I recall one night at a club in SF...there were so many men and so few women...that every time a woman would walk off the dance floor...anywhere from 8-12 guys would approach her...and I am not kidding about this. Take a look around next time you're out at a local dance venue around here...very, very rarely will you see more women than men. People ask me why I stopped dancing, and the simple truth is that I got very tired of nights out where there were 20-30 men and 5-10 women...when there's little yin and lots of yang...it's really not a lot of fun for someone who's looking for more than a one night stand.:hmmm:
If anyone doesn't believe me here, do a quick search online on craigslist personals or another dating site such as yahoo. I'll do one right now and post my results below for CL Personals:
For the age range of 25-35
Men seeking women: 98
Women seeking men: 24 (4 to 1???)
For the age range of 36-50
Men seeking women: 93
Women seeking men: 38
For the age range of 51-80
Men seeking women: 36
Women seeking men: 15
Now then, I know that craigslist does not speak for our community as a whole...and quite honestly, even a 4 to 1 ratio for my age group is better than it used to be. I was an avid online dater from 1999-2001...and in those days...the ratio of men to women on most dating sites was usually 8 to 1. So, needless to say, if you weren't tall, dark, financially well off and hopefully an illegitimate bastard son of Fabio, most women wouldn't give a guy like myself the time of day. :)
I've talked with many women who have so many men requesting their attention on dating sites that they find it upsetting. Hmm...I can't relate to that because its never (and most likely never will!) happen to me. Once I asked one of my dancing female friends if she had honestly noticed the imbalance of men vs women at our favorite dance venues, and she curtly replied "gosh, no. I'm always too busy dancing with all of the guys!". :lol2:
Thoughts, anyone? I sincerely hope that my long winded post has come across as factual rather than negative, but the facts speak quite loudly, at least from my point of view. I do love Sonoma County and call it home even more so than my actual place of birth, but I do spend many nights thinking about moving to a new place where the statistics are more kindly in my favor. :heart::hmmm::heart::wink::heart:
Warm wishes to everyone,
-Erick
mykil
03-18-2007, 10:15 AM
:hello: Personal Growth should be considered and used as a tool, what you are saying is that you can't find what you are looking for, you aren’t even sure they really exist? Here is a web site I use to gain allot of social information about our country. https://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/00000.html (https://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/00000.html). This tells you how many women are living in your area. With the exception of the Redding area we always have around one percent more females in the entire country. Certain places have even more, with very few having less than fifty percent [Montana]. It sounds like you need to start looking beyond the bar scene to find your future mate. [Teasing dude]. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
It takes a while but you can figure it out. Practicing being shallow really evolves you into becoming even deeper than you already are. It’s a personal growth installment that makes you see beyond your world and into the next and further. You can only become so evolved in your own world and need to explore others to do a simple awakening that will thrust you further into existence. May sound like a bunch of mobo jumbo to all, but don’t knock it till you try it.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
I love Rachael’s post about dating younger men, it really made me think inside how people really need to justify there lives in order to be at peace from with in. this is not deep, it is confusing yourself and the issue, it seems no one wants to be simple anymore! Saying you like a younger mate just because they turn your head is taboo in our culture, and making since of it all is just a little to mind boggling for most. I have a lovely aunt that is in her late sixties, her husband, my wonderful uncle, dies a few years back. After a few years she got herself a younger mate, [26 year old hunk]. Do the math, which is forty years difference in age. Everyone was really put back by this and talking behind her back about the issue like there was no tomorrow. The only thought that came thru my little brain was GOOD FOR HER!!!!!!!!
:Yinyangv: PEACE IS MORE THAN JUST A WORD!!!!:yinyang:
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Juggledude
03-20-2007, 07:54 AM
Well Rachel,
since you are so full of your self,
amazing beautiful and sooooo young looking,
why don't you post a picture of yourself, so we ALL can admire you
and figure out why those older and more mature men are staying away from you
Lulu,
back to being an antagonistic ass again I see.
Rachel, good on ya, keep enjoying life, and young men, and your good looks, and don't sell us all short, I know quite a few over the hill dudes who have a pretty well balanced take on reality, some of which are even single!
Royce
Zeno Swijtink
03-20-2007, 08:24 AM
I actually thought this comment by DeGrote "Defiant" Lul was right on the mark. Rachel seems a bit self congratulatory and full of herself.
Zeno
Lulu,
back to being an antagonistic ass again I see.
Rachel, good on ya, keep enjoying life, and young men, and your good looks, and don't sell us all short, I know quite a few over the hill dudes who have a pretty well balanced take on reality, some of which are even single!
Royce
mykil
03-20-2007, 08:33 AM
A Spades A Spade; Next time I am walking down the street with a twenty year old Blonde Bomb Shell, I am going to try and remember ever word she said word for word! And when someone asks, I will say...
Juggledude
03-20-2007, 09:05 AM
I actually thought this comment by DeGrote "Defiant" Lul was right on the mark. Rachel seems a bit self congratulatory and full of herself.
Zeno
There's a difference between respectfully sharing your opinion of a person's egocentrism and posting an antagonistic and base bit of diatribe which drips of sarcasm and insult.
- Royce
Zeno Swijtink
03-20-2007, 09:33 AM
There's a difference between respectfully sharing your opinion of a person's egocentrism and posting an antagonistic and base bit of diatribe which drips of sarcasm and insult.
- Royce
Of course there is a difference. But in this case "respectfully sharing your opinion of a person's egocentrism" would be too ironic and the bit of diatribe was the salt that brought out the flavors better.
Vet-To-Pet
03-20-2007, 09:36 AM
I agree with Royce on this topic. Whenever I have a "need" to say something a bit "harsh" or scathing (!!) to someone's post, I try to send it as a private reply, rather than a public one. That way, the person gets my message, but I don't publicly rage at them. The rest of Wacco doesn't need to see how bitchy I can be, my point is made, and I don't start a lot of name-calling, etc. Try it, it really works!
Smiles,
Paula/vet-To-Pet
There's a difference between respectfully sharing your opinion of a person's egocentrism and posting an antagonistic and base bit of diatribe which drips of sarcasm and insult.
- Royce
Sabrina
03-20-2007, 10:22 AM
I thought the Phiant sounded rude and resentful....
From another woman who's over 40 and looks in her 30's and sometimes less.
I agree with Royce on this topic. Whenever I have a "need" to say something a bit "harsh" or scathing (!!) to someone's post, I try to send it as a private reply, rather than a public one. That way, the person gets my message, but I don't publicly rage at them. The rest of Wacco doesn't need to see how bitchy I can be, my point is made, and I don't start a lot of name-calling, etc. Try it, it really works!
Smiles,
Paula/vet-To-Pet
Juggledude
03-20-2007, 11:12 AM
Of course there is a difference. But in this case "respectfully sharing your opinion of a person's egocentrism" would be too ironic and the bit of diatribe was the salt that brought out the flavors better.
Zeno,
Sorry, I don't see the irony in stating an opinion in a respectful manner. While I appreciate your taste for spicy discourse, this community as a whole has been created under the auspices of respect and consciousness, as referenced here:
5) PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL: You are welcome to disagree with someone but you may not attack them in any way, either publicly or privately.
Salt used to flavor a discussion is very different than salt poured into wounds, especially those deliberately inflicted.
Royce
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Juggledude
03-20-2007, 11:14 AM
At the same time, I can't help but get a chuckle out of what I imagine the response would be if a man had said he was "one of those amazing, handsome, talented, powerful men".
What do you imagine the response would be? I imagine the response would be precisely as varied as there are respondents.
Royce
Lorrie
03-20-2007, 11:24 AM
Get it? Irony....Salt...
Zeno,
Sorry, I don't see the irony in stating an opinion in a respectful manner. While I appreciate your taste for spicy discourse, this community as a whole has been created under the auspices of respect and consciousness, as referenced here:
5) PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL: You are welcome to disagree with someone but you may not attack them in any way, either publicly or privately.
Salt used to flavor a discussion is very different than salt poured into wounds, especially those deliberately inflicted.
Royce
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ThePhiant
03-20-2007, 01:00 PM
he dude,
so you are at it again!
preaching respect and manners
even quoting the rules of conduct
but calling me " an antagonistic ass" ???????????
under which hypocritical law does that fall
like I said before you are acting like Jekyll and Hyde
maybe it is best if you stick to juggling your balls
Zeno,
Sorry, I don't see the irony in stating an opinion in a respectful manner. While I appreciate your taste for spicy discourse, this community as a whole has been created under the auspices of respect and consciousness, as referenced here:
5) PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL: You are welcome to disagree with someone but you may not attack them in any way, either publicly or privately.
Salt used to flavor a discussion is very different than salt poured into wounds, especially those deliberately inflicted.
Royce
ThePhiant
03-20-2007, 01:14 PM
Dear Sabrina,
Resentful? Rude?
come on, get real. I didn't ask her to pose NAKED.
I actually am truly curious and full of wonder what a GODDESS like her looks like, for christ's sake she is actually living in SEBASTOPOL.
NO, but really, I'd like to know how many guys and how many women out there would like to see a picture of her.
we can make a poll out of it, wouldn't that be fun?
I thought the Phiant sounded rude and resentful....
From another woman who's over 40 and looks in her 30's and sometimes less.
mykil
03-20-2007, 02:51 PM
:Yinyangv: All Fun Aside; We as a
Conscious Community of oneness,
might need a little Theripy!!! :yinyang:
mykil
03-20-2007, 05:22 PM
Oh Great Royce; You chased her away!!!
Deb
03-20-2007, 05:38 PM
Hi Y'all,
I just found this tread and had to chime in. I am one of those single, 40 something women, with boundaries...most of the time that is. What I find is that it is really a big mystery who we click with and why. I have LOVED guys that are between 36 and 40. From the time I was 30 until now (44) that is the age group I am most attracted to. I think it is some astrological thing. Midlife crisis and all that. Big time of transformation. But I have also been attracted to men 12 years older and am currently "dancing" with a cutie patutie 16 years younger. Woohoo! Often there is a match in our Chinese astrology. I am a Tiger and find myself with other Tigers, Horses and Dogs. Love them Dogs!
As for the original question on why women "my age" have boundaries and don't jump into casual sex too quickly I think it is a matter of experience. Most women my age have been around the block a few times and are a little more discerning about who they share their energy with. They know themselves better and have more of a sense of what is going to work for them and what will not. I am certainly open to the idea of a spontaneous adventure, but the energy has to be right. I have gotten picky in my "old age" LOL!!! Younger women are just getting the experience. Good for them.
I say enjoy it all, have fun with the ones that show up and are ready to jump into bed for a night of delights, have fun with the ones that show up and want to take it on a different level, if you like them that is. There is so much to be gained from all of it. If you let go of your expectations and just be in the moment and be sensitive and responsive to the energy that shows up you will have a good time. There is something to be said about how wonderful it is to develop "friendships" in the process of dating.
Love and blessings,
(especially to the "mean" posters...BE NICE! :hello:)
:heart: Deb
Tinque
03-21-2007, 12:55 AM
Mikal , I was dismayed at your opinion "Of What Men Want". I , for one , am over 40 , and very content with my sexuality and ravenous desires. I know you and I love your forth- right flirtatous ways , even though at times you are over the top beyond "normal" boundries. But you are forgetting that you know women over 40 whom have NO boundries , ( except logical health and safety) , and just as I should not judge you for your inappropriate behavior at times, ( not just my opinion ), you should not judge anyone because of age . IN MY OPINION.. I for one , am extremely childlike , yet responsible and mature and then an insatiable over 40 Goddess ( not being conceited) just trying to feel for once empowered within myself. ( Which took over 40 years. )You know, like most anyone , the high one gets from flirting , being acknowledged, the pursuit , the defeat , at last the conquering , well maybe.. Think about all those younger girls that want to entice and be pursued , are you really ending up satisfied ? Or do you end up craving the attention of a lover that is over "40" and satisfies you to your utmost desire ? I personally think age is completely irrelevant ( except of course) someone under age . It is all in the compatability which is actually naturally there, I think. That means that one can be completely fullfilled by having someone to trust , laugh with, make love to , have sex with, tell secrets to , share stories, beleive in each other, go to the adult toy store together, play scrabble, make a mess making homemade ravioli's on your kitchen table, or even just cuddling up in each others arms and feeling warmth and serenity.. AGE IS IRRELEVANT.. THAT is in MY opinion.. GOOD LUCK to YOU..
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mykil
03-21-2007, 09:00 AM
Are you hitting on me again, cause you are really turning me on!!!! Althou you have alwayz turned my head and I agree completely that you really put me over the top!!! CALL ME!!!
ThePhiant
03-21-2007, 09:42 AM
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??????
another woman telling us SHE has great sex?????????
I thought this thread was about
WHAT MEN WANT
Mikal , I was dismayed at your opinion "Of What Men Want". I , for one , am over 40 , and very content with my sexuality and ravenous desires. ...
Tinque
03-21-2007, 10:24 AM
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??????
another woman telling us SHE has great sex?????????
I thought this thread was about
WHAT MEN WANT
But my dear, that is exactly what I AM talking about.. What Men Want .. They want GREAT sex , lust , desire , spontaneity, and more , or maybe even less.. I happen to Know what Men Like . I'm not talking about me having great sex or bragging about my tantalizing sexual skills , I am refering to just paying attention to peoples wants and desires. It comes naturally to some and unfortunately never comes for others , literally ! By the way, having great sex is a two person ( more or less) adventure. We learn new things every day if willing ! Isn't it fun.. What is the problem with having great sex ?
TayanaGirl37
03-21-2007, 12:31 PM
What great fun--all of it in this thread. And...
...what we project is usually what we see/find/experience coming back at us. Or we find whatever it is we believe we're looking for.
...it's good to not forget the body as we evolve. Easily done in many spiritual paths. I know too many who give more attention to caring for their cars than their bodies. Heck, I'm still working on that one, and by no means claiming I've got it.
...regardless of sex, we sometimes create barriers and call them boundaries. Places where we've consistently ignored our quiet, deep intuitions can get pretty beat up. At some point, body, pysche, etc. raises the "NOCK IT OFF" notice. Boundaries can be negotiated; barriers are immobile (in my experience).
And still, thanks for the fun read. I look forward to more on this one.
Sabrina
03-21-2007, 02:03 PM
Well, you sound nicer now, more playful, perhaps; but that original post was not worded in a way that would make me feel like giving out pics if I were her. It's because you said: since you are so full of your self, which is a put down, like your telling her she shouldn't be feeling good about herself. I say bravo to her for feeling so good about herself. Then you said:
amazing beautiful and sooooo young looking, why don't you post a picture of yourself, so we ALL can admire you and figure out why those older and more mature men are staying away from you. That sounds like your insulting her by saying all the more mature men are staying away and lets figure out why. I did not read her saying that older men were staying away from her, only that she had not had positive experiences with some older men...and she pointed out that this was only her experience, and that she hoped she could maybe meet a nice older guy one day and have a positive experience. So, hope you keep your more friendly mode up, and maybe you'll get lucky with some pics from her. I wouldn't want to see a poll on it though. I think she's just a brave leader to state her truth. Have a great day!
Dear Sabrina,
Resentful? Rude?
come on, get real. I didn't ask her to pose NAKED.
I actually am truly curious and full of wonder what a GODDESS like her looks like, for christ's sake she is actually living in SEBASTOPOL.
NO, but really, I'd like to know how many guys and how many women out there would like to see a picture of her.
we can make a poll out of it, wouldn't that be fun?
MsTerry
03-21-2007, 08:00 PM
Sabrina,
I don't want to turn this into a catfight, but I think ThePhiant was only pointing out that she was so full of herself,that she is attracting a certain kind of a man, the one that also is interested in the things she describes as being so wonderful about herself (physical things first). did you read the line where she wanted her partner to be in excellent shape physically .
sometimes we get what we ask for.
I thought ThePhiant was hilarious even though I felt sorry for her caus
I think sometimes we look the age we are.
all the best
T
Well, you sound nicer now, more playful, perhaps; but that original post was not worded in a way that would make me feel like giving out pics if I were her. It's because you said: since you are so full of your self, which is a put down, like your telling her she shouldn't be feeling good about herself. I say bravo to her for feeling so good about herself. Then you said:
amazing beautiful and sooooo young looking, why don't you post a picture of yourself, so we ALL can admire you and figure out why those older and more mature men are staying away from you. That sounds like your insulting her by saying all the more mature men are staying away and lets figure out why. I did not read her saying that older men were staying away from her, only that she had not had positive experiences with some older men...and she pointed out that this was only her experience, and that she hoped she could maybe meet a nice older guy one day and have a positive experience. So, hope you keep your more friendly mode up, and maybe you'll get lucky with some pics from her. I wouldn't want to see a poll on it though. I think she's just a brave leader to state her truth. Have a great day!
Sabrina
03-22-2007, 11:00 AM
Please, Ms Terry! No cat fights! :wink:
You said... I think ThePhiant was only pointing out that she was so full of herself,that she is attracting a certain kind of a man, the one that also is interested in the things she describes as being so wonderful about herself (physical things first). did you read the line where she wanted her partner to be in excellent shape physically . sometimes we get what we ask for.
Perhaps that was what the Phiant was trying to say, although I think it was not very clear in his words, nor do I fully understand what your saying...But, I did not take her writing that way at all; I took it as bravo for her, for feeling good about her self and knowing what she wants. I didn't even really hear her complaining about older men, just a comment on her experience.
This is always the problem with writing, often people can misunderstand one another quite a bit since we can't hear their tone of voice! Maybe had he been speaking aloud, we would have heard his humor. It's hard to say why some people read into a persons writings one way, and others hear it a different way. I guess this is what active communication :hmmm:(i.e. active listening) is all about. I guess it's best to ask when not sure. Also, it's best to be as concise as possible when communicating, like if the Phiant was trying to be funny, me personally, I would have been hurt because it would have taken a lot of courage for me to say the things that Rachael said, both aloud to the public, and my first time starting a thread on wacco. Then to have someone tell me I'm full of my self, and lets post a picture on line to see if I'm really good looking and have a poll about it? She is still far more courageous than I to come back defending that it's ok and good to feel good about ones self. Bravo to her again.
I thought ThePhiant was hilarious even though I felt sorry for her caus
I think sometimes we look the age we are. :hmmm:
This part that you say doesn't make sense to me ...maybe you can elaborate here on why he was funny and why you felt sorry for her. Maybe a little active communication is due. Maybe the phiant needs to elaborate. Maybe this is all going too far! Because actually, I really don't care all that much. This is just procrastination from other work I need to do. I mean I care about quality of communication and respect, but I don't care that much for a 'cat fight' over this thing, nor for more miscommunication over misreadings:read: , or misinterpretations.
MsTerry
03-22-2007, 07:30 PM
Hi Sabrina,
I don't want spend too much time on this either, because it is so clear to me. if someone is really that into them selves, and I think we both can agree on that, why would it be rude or insensitive to ask to share this with the community through a picture? IF I were to toot my horn like that I'd better be sure I can back it up. she was talking about her outside and mixing it up with her inside. that's why I thought ThePhiant (I think it is a she) was hilarious by confronting her with this in a very direct way.
I think ThePhiant was alluding that older men want a certain level of maturity in their relationship, which is not physical.
hope that helps
Please, Ms Terry! No cat fights! :wink: ...
Conly
03-22-2007, 10:31 PM
First let me give you a little background: I’m 45yr. I’ve been married. I’ve lived in serial monogamy and I now live/consider myself polyamorous for the last ten or twelve years.
I’ve lost some of this thread. But what I got was that this woman was talking about how she had better relationships with men that are younger than her whatever her reasons. And that some people seemed to get a little bent outa shape around her choice of words. But I also got that some people felt that she was seeking an unreasonable ideal. Well something that they themselves couldn’t live up to.
I can relate to the age trip as I’ve often had better relationships with women that are at least 5 years older than myself and some twice my age at earlier times in my life. Fewer games, Less drama, we’ve both been around the block, Etc . . . At least that has been my experience for myself.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
My advice to anyone seeking a new relationship is stop trying, let go, focus on what is already on your plate. Quality relationships will present themselves in time. Have patients without waiting; good things will present themselves.
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Conly
"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that this is true." James Branch Cabell 1879-1958
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