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View Full Version : What I did on my summer vacation by mykil bee



mykil
11-10-2006, 10:17 AM
Something I wrote after I came back from my vacation this summer! :2cents:


What I did on my summer vacation by mykil bee<o:p></o:p>

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<table style="width: 100%;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td style="border: medium none rgb(236, 233, 216); padding: 0in; background-color: transparent;" valign="top">All right so I’M A WIMP;


Let me start from the top. The first two dayz were fun, long drive with nothing to see. But still fun, got rained on a little in Seattle, my friend Leo not around, figured as much, not a big deal. Headed east on 90. Stopped at a few mining towns checked them out, made great time.

Here’s where in all goes a little haywire! Everything from this point on is the god’s honest truth!

Stopped at a little town to ask about Yellowstone. The guy told me it wasn’t all that far out of my way. So I decided to drive on down. My ex called and told me that PayPal had called and told her that there had been a lot of charges to my card, she unknowing that I was away [cause I didn’t tell the Brat] told them that I never used my card and she was sure there was some kind of mistake. I laughed it off and told her Thankz and I would take care of it.

Went on it to Yellowstone, should have turned around at the gate! Told the guy I was there to soak in the hot springs, he says “yeah we have hot springs there for looking at not soaking in, make sure you camp in the designated area’s or you’ll get a ticket”. Checked it out for a few hours, decided to leave, WELL HELL, the east exit is closed for revamping. My way out! Why didn’t they tell me this? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, I’m screwed. This puts me about Five hour out of my way! No big deal, I’ll sleep it off and be off in the morning. All the campgrounds are full. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. No big deal I’ll just pull up next to one and crash.

Well hell again; why didn’t anyone tell me that it still friggin snows in that part of the country in friggin August? I brought a friggin sweatshirt for a few windy nights!!! SNOW!!! Well after about an hour of this white madness, I brush it all off [remember I sleep in the back of my truck without any camper] I found this a little amusing and had a good laugh. Maybe you guyz up there could really use a little Global Warming! Went back to sleep and about two hours later all hell breaks loose, pouring friggin rain, about an inch in about a half hour I presume. I am friggin soaked, shivering, freezing my little assss off wishing I was home in my friggin bed, wondering how friggin stupid you have to be not to remember to bring a tarp. So there I am shivering under my sleeping bags trying to get at least a little shuteye when some jerk that talks and looks just like Forest [(my little Minnesota connection) a bunch fatter thou] asks to see my ID. Well at this point I am just a little ticked off, I provide him with the proper ID, tell him that this is a close to a campsite I can get without getting in bed with the couple next to me. He tells me I have to move. Well after about twenty minutes of arguing with the little dude I ask, “WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO GO YOU LITTLE FAT F…”. Well I just suppose I could have been a little more understanding and sympathetic to his needs. It’s three thirty in the friggin morning and I am soaked freezing and Yes I suppose that calling the little jerk a FAT F… was just wrong. Well I think this is where I might have gone a little wrong because FAT F… must have been code for calling all cars. Cause every last ranger in the park came to his friggin aid. At this point I am more than a little mad, and the words just seen to come out a little more than I want. The only smart thing I did was lock my door and slam it shut knowing I had a little something In there they might want to prosecute me for. “NO YOU STUPID FAT F…S CAN’T SEARCH MY FRIGGIN CAR. GET A GOSH DARN LIFE AND LEAVE ME THE FREAK ALONE”. Well once again I should have stepped back and reevaluated my situation! Finally, after pleas from everyone in the campground, [yes at this point everyone was up, screaming at them just as much as I was]. They escorted me out of Yellowstone. Down the hill, fifty or so miles, I had a two-car escort, one in front and one behind!!! Boy did I feel special!!!

After pulling over and sleeping just down the hill for a couple of really cold hours, I am once again on my way, But apparently calling Ranger Rick a “FAT F…” also meant that he should call his little buddies down the hill, cause yes, there they were waiting for of me. Two state highway patrols and two county dudes decide that they need to have some fun with me also. After about an hour or so of putting up with they’re bull, and telling them they couldn’t search my car didn’t seem to work by the way, they had my whole truck load of stuff out in the street scattered about fifty feet up and down the road. “What’s in the pistol case” “ a pistol, what do you think?” “Can you open it” “Sure” No worries, all legal, and I was a lot more polite, I did have a few hours to calm my nerves and I did crack a few jokes about FAT BOY, although they said this had nothing to do with that at all. Yet they let me know it did in there own subtle way. All is good after throwing everything I own back in the truck and getting the hell out of Dodge.

Oh wow; I gotta get some gas! Well remember at the beginning of this story I said something like I’ll take care of the PayPal thingy??? Well now I guess I had to cause my card does not work. This little card has all my vacation money locked up in its tiny little digits. It no longer works.
So I call, after about an hour of trying to get someone to ask why they decided to cancel my card, I get a lady that tells me it was cancelled at the request of my ex. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN???” well there was an excess of charges on the card, Ten to be exact so we called the number you specified and we talked someone that told us these were not your charges. “Well can you reinstate it”? No the card has been cancelled. Can you send some money to my other account? “Yes we can do that, you well have money in Three to Four Business dayz sir”. Well can you make it a little faster since this is sort of an emergency and this is your friggin fault? So I call my bank asking to put some extra cash in my account since I have been a customer for about ever. “Are you asking for a loan”? Never mind!!!!!!!

I think it was at this point that I-80 was only around the bend and home was the best bet for me at the time. All I could think of was a warm dry bed and a real meal. I had about One hundred Fifty bucks for gas that wasn’t enough. I met up with a friend in Reno that loaned me Fifty bucks and a bed for the night. At any rate I am home and through with driving around the country!!!! I will fly out to see my friends next time I feel like I can leave California without getting rained on, snowed on, or locked up. One more note LOVELOCK NEVADA is not a good place to stop and get gas and a meal. Sounds like a great place yeah? Lovelock is the name of the town cause it is the name of the prison there!!! Heather is a woman really!! Don't tease the women in this town the men really find them attractive this way and will defend them toothless wonders they are!!! <o:p></o:p>


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tezor
11-11-2006, 08:44 AM
Dude, sounds like u got a frigging education, not to mention paid some heavy tution. Ya, a little in the planning, a little in the response to people with power issues, a little in the budgeting department, and a lot of time to think about it. What did u learn? I wish you well, Tezor

saysni
11-11-2006, 12:04 PM
Thanks for the great! morning read mykil. Reminds me of this time a friend of mine went on a little road trip (true story)...

Yes, rangers DO go kookoo in summer in August in 'our' National Parks...don't even THINK about stepping foot inside Yosemite! A buddy of mine got pulled over in Tuolumne Meadows for excessive speed (the undercover ranger truck was cramming up his ass, in essence 'making' him speed up - their reason for pulling him over was for doing 35 in a 25 zone).
It turns out there was a meeting of about two-hunerd (that's 200!) law-enforcement types from every conceivable local and federal law-enforcement ageny in the entire Western Region practicing their law-enforcement skills/procedures (in Tuolumne Meadows?? - on Labor Day Weekend???) and they were pulling over every vehicle in sight. To make a long story short - and my friend is not some faux-rasta/hippie-looking, vege-fuel driving, peace & love bumper-sticker slathered west-county type - they found a roach and some seeds (hey i didn't say he doesn't blow the weed). In short order they had all of his stuff scattered along the side of the road. Oh boy you should have seen them drooling, he told me later. Then one of them finds a box filled with a grayish-white powder which they proceed to dump onto the hood of his car. My friend explains that these are the cremated ashes of his best friend. Yeah right the mounty says and they throw him to the ground, bring over the drug dogs and REALLY start to tear his poor little Subaru wagon apart!
After about three hours of this it's starting to get dark, my friend is in shorts and sandals, they won't let him put a jacket on, and it's damn cold up near 10,000 feet at dusk, even in summer. Of course they find his (legal) prescription meds for his back and head injuries from a car wreck that he died in a few years back - luckily(?) he was revived in the chopper - and haul him in for possesion of drugs for sale. To the federal lockup in Fresno. That is after spending the long holiday weekend in the 'John Muir Hotel' in the valley for his arraignment Tuesday [don't get busted on a Friday or over a long weekend]. It's over a year before the whole thing is resolved, including multiple trips to Fresno for court dates, hearings, sentencing, ad nauseum. He finally plead guilty to speeding and felony possesion of drug paraphenalia(!) [don't get busted in a National Park, the US gov't comes down on you like a nuke on a knat]. Oh, and the $1,100 dollars in cash he had in the car with him? With receipts from his bank? Gone. Confiscated. Never returned. No explanation. No recourse. His lawyer said this is not an uncommon experience in Yosemite. In fact the LA Times was doing an expose on the subject at the same time and he was interviewed but i don't know if his story ever made it into print. Guess it's time to GOOGLE, eh? There's nothing like having primary documentation...
So now he's a federally convicted felon essentially by entrapment. Way to go USA! It's a DAMN good thing (for him) they didn't find his weed stash...[I guess they will STILL need more 'training', especially the mutts].
Enjoy your National Parks indeed, just leave your pipes and lik'l herb stalks at home [and thoroughly vacuum your car out BEFORE your next trip].