Sara S
07-11-2017, 03:25 PM
Morford: Amazon Prime Day is the purest – and most terrifying – American holiday of all
Mark Morford
40850Every holiday is a manufactured holiday. Christmas to Valentine’s, Easter to Hanukkah, Mother’s Day to the 4th of July – no matter the supposed legitimacy of a given celebration’s origins, capitalism has seen to it that every one on the American calendar has been gutted, repackaged and turned it into a massive marketing gimmick, wrapped in a retailer’s wet dream, tied to a 50% off clearance sale.
Commercialism has swallowed tradition and spit back mountains of plastic landfill. There is no holiday without shopping. There is no celebration without mega-sales and screaming ad banners, horrible songs and endless marketing gimmicks urging you to buy more stuff as quickly as possible, lest the GDP drop and the American dream suffer and die.
No one understands this hellish matrix better than the beast than Jeff Bezos (https://www.sfgate.com/search/?action=search&channel=opinion&inlineLink=1&searchindex=solr&query=%22Jeff+Bezos%22) birthed. It should come as no surprise that Amazon (https://www.sfgate.com/search/?action=search&channel=opinion&inlineLink=1&searchindex=solr&query=%22Amazon%22), AKA Earth’s Biggest Everything So Shut Up Already, would dispense entirely with the hollow pretense of, say, overweight, red-robed saints and egg-laying rabbits, gluttonous turkey dinners and ten million toxic roses, and just make up its own holiday, no silly “tradition” required.
Behold, Amazon Prime Day, the newest and, let’s be honest, most all-American holiday ever invented by ruthless marketers and/or numb politicians, and that includes Columbus Day and President’s Day and Flag Day and, well, pretty much all the rest. Amazon Prime Day is America incarnate. It is capitalism unleashed, frighteningly well armed and live-blogged in real time (https://bestblackfriday.com/blog/amazon-prime-day-2017-deals-live-updates-and-black-friday-price-comparisons/%20), unafraid to decimate your truest values and your maxed-out credit limit. Prime Day is where Black Friday meets the opioid epidemic in a giant blow-up kiddie pool, and then stabs you in the spine with a Bluetooth (https://www.sfgate.com/search/?action=search&channel=opinion&inlineLink=1&searchindex=solr&query=%22Bluetooth%22)-enabled LED talking “smart” meat thermometer/garage door opener, for dogs.
It’s all here: Ridiculous overconsumption (https://www.forbes.com/sites/tompopomaronis/2017/07/10/prime-day-2017-amazons-9-most-anticipated-deals-and-free-giveaways/#269979de77c4), BS pricing tricks, idiotic appliances you will never use, fake "reviews," nefarious tracking/predictive shopping algorithms recording your every twitch and click, all coupled to simply staggering fuel consumption/air pollution/packaging waste via all the factories and planes and trucks that manufacture and deliver your crap to your door within 48 hours and which will, in turn, soon result in mountains of landfill because, as mentioned, you’re not a real American unless you can’t close your garage without knocking over three ruptured trampolines and seven WiFi-enabled Sno-Cone Waffle Makers you bought for 24% off but that never actually worked and now live in your nightmares.
Amazon Prime Day is also, let’s just admit, a perfect scam. As expert product-review site The Wirecutter discovered (https://thewirecutter.com/blog/amazon-prime-day/), only a small fraction of Amazon’s “exciting” offers were worth the bandwidth they wasted impaling your anima. Last year, the site scanned nearly 8,000 deals and found a mere 64 – that’s less than 1% – to be any good whatsoever.
Continues here (https://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Amazon-Prime-Day-is-the-purest-and-most-11278421.php)
Mark Morford
40850Every holiday is a manufactured holiday. Christmas to Valentine’s, Easter to Hanukkah, Mother’s Day to the 4th of July – no matter the supposed legitimacy of a given celebration’s origins, capitalism has seen to it that every one on the American calendar has been gutted, repackaged and turned it into a massive marketing gimmick, wrapped in a retailer’s wet dream, tied to a 50% off clearance sale.
Commercialism has swallowed tradition and spit back mountains of plastic landfill. There is no holiday without shopping. There is no celebration without mega-sales and screaming ad banners, horrible songs and endless marketing gimmicks urging you to buy more stuff as quickly as possible, lest the GDP drop and the American dream suffer and die.
No one understands this hellish matrix better than the beast than Jeff Bezos (https://www.sfgate.com/search/?action=search&channel=opinion&inlineLink=1&searchindex=solr&query=%22Jeff+Bezos%22) birthed. It should come as no surprise that Amazon (https://www.sfgate.com/search/?action=search&channel=opinion&inlineLink=1&searchindex=solr&query=%22Amazon%22), AKA Earth’s Biggest Everything So Shut Up Already, would dispense entirely with the hollow pretense of, say, overweight, red-robed saints and egg-laying rabbits, gluttonous turkey dinners and ten million toxic roses, and just make up its own holiday, no silly “tradition” required.
Behold, Amazon Prime Day, the newest and, let’s be honest, most all-American holiday ever invented by ruthless marketers and/or numb politicians, and that includes Columbus Day and President’s Day and Flag Day and, well, pretty much all the rest. Amazon Prime Day is America incarnate. It is capitalism unleashed, frighteningly well armed and live-blogged in real time (https://bestblackfriday.com/blog/amazon-prime-day-2017-deals-live-updates-and-black-friday-price-comparisons/%20), unafraid to decimate your truest values and your maxed-out credit limit. Prime Day is where Black Friday meets the opioid epidemic in a giant blow-up kiddie pool, and then stabs you in the spine with a Bluetooth (https://www.sfgate.com/search/?action=search&channel=opinion&inlineLink=1&searchindex=solr&query=%22Bluetooth%22)-enabled LED talking “smart” meat thermometer/garage door opener, for dogs.
It’s all here: Ridiculous overconsumption (https://www.forbes.com/sites/tompopomaronis/2017/07/10/prime-day-2017-amazons-9-most-anticipated-deals-and-free-giveaways/#269979de77c4), BS pricing tricks, idiotic appliances you will never use, fake "reviews," nefarious tracking/predictive shopping algorithms recording your every twitch and click, all coupled to simply staggering fuel consumption/air pollution/packaging waste via all the factories and planes and trucks that manufacture and deliver your crap to your door within 48 hours and which will, in turn, soon result in mountains of landfill because, as mentioned, you’re not a real American unless you can’t close your garage without knocking over three ruptured trampolines and seven WiFi-enabled Sno-Cone Waffle Makers you bought for 24% off but that never actually worked and now live in your nightmares.
Amazon Prime Day is also, let’s just admit, a perfect scam. As expert product-review site The Wirecutter discovered (https://thewirecutter.com/blog/amazon-prime-day/), only a small fraction of Amazon’s “exciting” offers were worth the bandwidth they wasted impaling your anima. Last year, the site scanned nearly 8,000 deals and found a mere 64 – that’s less than 1% – to be any good whatsoever.
Continues here (https://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Amazon-Prime-Day-is-the-purest-and-most-11278421.php)