Sara S
08-12-2015, 09:24 AM
from borowitzrepot.com:
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report (https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report))—In an effort to boost his foreign-policy credentials, the billionaire Donald Trump on Tuesday said that, if he were elected President, he would defeat <small>ISIS</small> with “brutal and relentless” attacks on Twitter.
“Under President Obama, <small>ISIS</small> has been able to maraud and rampage with impunity,” Trump told Fox News. “When I’m in the White House, the leaders of <small>ISIS</small> are going to bear the brunt of the most vicious tweets the world has ever known.”
The real-estate mogul said that, as President, he would set aside a portion of the time that he currently allots to excoriating journalists, politicians, and assorted other perceived enemies on Twitter to focus his fury on the leaders of <small>ISIS</small>.
“Of all the people running for President, I have by far the most Twitter-war experience,” he boasted. “I will declare an all-out Twitter war on <small>ISIS</small>, and I will win.”
Offering a taste of his proposed Twitter campaign, Trump produced this sample tweet: “<small>ISIS</small> is a total joke. Has zero chance of winning. Zero!”
Another prospective tweet read, “<small>ISIS</small> leaders live in tents. Trump has TEN BILLION DOLLARS. Kicks their ass!”
In yet another example, he offered, “Never see <small>ISIS</small> leaders with models. Why? Cannot get models. Models love Trump!”
The former reality-show star also blasted President Obama for having a Twitter account with more than three million followers and never once using it to call Russian President Vladimir Putin a loser.
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report (https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report))—In an effort to boost his foreign-policy credentials, the billionaire Donald Trump on Tuesday said that, if he were elected President, he would defeat <small>ISIS</small> with “brutal and relentless” attacks on Twitter.
“Under President Obama, <small>ISIS</small> has been able to maraud and rampage with impunity,” Trump told Fox News. “When I’m in the White House, the leaders of <small>ISIS</small> are going to bear the brunt of the most vicious tweets the world has ever known.”
The real-estate mogul said that, as President, he would set aside a portion of the time that he currently allots to excoriating journalists, politicians, and assorted other perceived enemies on Twitter to focus his fury on the leaders of <small>ISIS</small>.
“Of all the people running for President, I have by far the most Twitter-war experience,” he boasted. “I will declare an all-out Twitter war on <small>ISIS</small>, and I will win.”
Offering a taste of his proposed Twitter campaign, Trump produced this sample tweet: “<small>ISIS</small> is a total joke. Has zero chance of winning. Zero!”
Another prospective tweet read, “<small>ISIS</small> leaders live in tents. Trump has TEN BILLION DOLLARS. Kicks their ass!”
In yet another example, he offered, “Never see <small>ISIS</small> leaders with models. Why? Cannot get models. Models love Trump!”
The former reality-show star also blasted President Obama for having a Twitter account with more than three million followers and never once using it to call Russian President Vladimir Putin a loser.