Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish dirt bags invaded our country and we got a little busy OK?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Justin Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea...Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
How about making one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.............no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Batman,
Sooooooooo........what was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant