Some thought provoking questions.

[NorseViking869]

The other night I had gone out on a date and things seemed to go swimingly well. A hug and a kiss and saying that we would see each other again. Then the email when I got home. It said sorry but I did not feel that initial spark. Now Another person I dated a few times said they do not believe in the initial spark but about two people growing on each other. i never thought about it before. Either side of it. I just would go with the flow. If it became a relationship and I was happy, I would stay, if it became a relationship and I was not happy, I would bolt. If it was a one night stand, awesome, if It was see you do not let the door knob hit you where the good lord split ya, I would either be a little stung if I was enjoying my self, or pleasantly relieved.

What I never considered was the debate about chemistry.. I know people know if they want to have sex with them with in the first 5 minutes, but a spark? Do you believe that a spark is absolutely paramount to a second date, or can friendship lead to a Lightning bolt? I have felkt both, but have any of you? What is more important that instant connection or that bond built over time, or a combination?

[Garden Goddess]

I have had both situations happen. (Instant chemistry or good friends, then lovers.) I was wondering about the chemistry part of it, because sometimes people can get along famously in the bedroom, but don't agree on other vital issues (depending on what each person has decided is important.)

I have also known people who have been dating (mostly each other) for years and seem to be happy as clams and don't feel the need to cohabit or formalize their arrangement in any way.

These discussions are fascinating.

[zkoolman]

Yes, these discussions can be very fascinating....

My experience is that "chemistry" can happen on more then one level. And on different levels with different people and situations.

One can have a great "mental" chemistry with another who is bright and witty or that makes one laugh and smile, but that chemistry may not include the physical. Conversely, one might be very attracted to another on the physical side but not have the mental chemistry, hence the "no strings attached" type of arrangements, for example.

Once in a while one can have it all..... as in one can "hang out" and also have intense physical heat.

I have had both situations happen. (Instant chemistry or good friends, then lovers.) I was wondering about the chemistry part of it, because sometimes people can get along famously in the bedroom, but don't agree on other vital issues (depending on what each person has decided is important.)

I have also known people who have been dating (mostly each other) for years and seem to be happy as clams and don't feel the need to cohabit or formalize their arrangement in any way.

These discussions are fascinating.