Tantric Engineer Available for all Your InHouse Chakra ReWiring Needs!

[decterlove]

Hi! Ever wonder about what it would be like to have a really hot (or really cool if you prefer!) Boyfriend that was a fully trained and certified Tantric Electrical Engineer Expert?

Well, you can find out tonight (or even sooner!), if you're brave enough and willing to open up your Wholey Shakric Field Systems spontaneously to Eco-static Advanced Enlightenment!

I was a Substitute Teacher of Eco-static Advanced Enlightenment Wholey Shakric Field Systems Tantric Engineering at Karmic Sutures for 5 years in Portland, Oregon, until I got laid off about two years ago. I have since relocated to the Bay area, and I haven't been practicing much but like they say, it's pretty much like riding a bicycle.

I would like to find a willing, able, and available partner, not too tall and not too short, not too thin and not too fat, not too dumb and not too smart, to help me bring back the level of Serio-Sexological Mastery that I once enjoyed when I was teaching and practicing every morning. (And at mid-day, and most afternoons, and right before washing up the dinner dishes, and before bed, of course, and at 2:35am also~~on weekends the practice was a little more intense and demanding so we ate off paper plates.)

Would you like to learn to ride perfect Tantric Glassy Totally Tubular Waves of ECo-stacy and finally find out for yourself what it's like to feel the Energy of the entire Universe Pulsating into your Divine Navel and charging through your Wholey Pelvic Basin and Beyond? (Have you ever seen your toes actually glow bright neon orange, post coitally? That is very common among advanced Karmic Suture Eco-stacy Experts!)

Luckily for you, I'm not in a committed relationship right now so you might want to jump like a bunny rabbit on steroids at this once-in-20-lifetimes opportunity!

(I am pretty adept at 59 of the 108 Holy Moist Eco-static Positions but never did quite get the hang of the "Divine Split Double Backwards Butterfly Falling Into The Void Space While Spitting Into The Great Wide Eye." (No. 60) I can teach you the first 59 though, and maybe we can figure out the rest just by reading the manual together and fooling around. Could you bring a booklite over with you, please?)

Be sure to mention in your response whether you are "male" "female" or "decline to state"? I'd vastly prefer female, but when we close our Worldly Eyes, and truly fall into the great Supreme Ravine of Truncated Fully Exquisated Bliss and Unified Mind Field Matter Minus All Dualities of the Supreme Pleididactic Heavenly Holy Grail InfraGalactic Eco-Static Empire, I can assure you, at that point you won't remember which sex you are, or where you even went to high school! (Just be sure to bring a toothbrush!)

In preparation for our Cosmic Eco-stacy, we will braid our pubic hairs together so our bonding will be stablized and secure during the more vigorous postures, so if you are heavily trimmed down there these techniques may not be appropriate for your current primal eco-static needs. (Traditionally, each partner was actually surgically stitched to one other but this now is considered cruel and unnecessary enlightenment by most highly respected Karmic Suture Eco-static Experts in the Field.) So let it grow out a little and call me back!

We will subsist primarily on wheat grass, ham hocks, Peppermint Patties, and Dr.Bronner's Bouillon Cubes during the length and depth of our more serious practice sessions, and you may also eat small amounts of Sea's candy, and chew Bubblicious chewing gum if you like. (Don't forget to bring your favorite breath mints too, please.)

I'll be in deep Cosmic you-know-what till I hear from you and am looking forward to your eager, willing, and divine participation. (Maybe this coming Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday??)

Sex, especially when it's Tantric, is pretty darn good entertainment when you do it correctly, and many Karmic Suture Practitioners find that their TV watching is greatly reduced within two or three days of beginning their serio-ecostatic-oasisial Initiatory practice. Plus, you'll save a lot of money at Ross's! (Could you bring some shampoo over too? Something organic? Maybe Tea Tree? Thanks!)

(Again, don't forget to bring your favorite breath mints either please!)

Looking forward to meeting your In-Loins!

)(

(sorry, not available for weekly sex talks at this time...gotta practice!)

[BlueFireFairy]

You can rewire my chakras?
Cool!

[decterlove]

Of course, I can, Ms. BlueFireFairy! What seems to be the problem? Getting a few shorts here and there? Power outages? Toaster going on and off?

We can schedule an introductory session for next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday or possibly that coming Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We could do an intensive starting Friday night that could be finished up by Sunday evening at 6:30 pm just in time for Seinfeld, if you prefer.

Alternatively, we could meet at 8 am just for one hour for the next 54 days. This is tricky though because if you miss just one day, the whole thing has to be rewired.

Could you bring a little electrical tape over with you? I can't find mine....I think I used it to make a garage sale sign a few months ago. I had a huge condom sale right before Christmas because I knew a lot of people would want them for New Year's Eve. And I had bought WAY TOO MANY!

I bought like 10,000 of them or something, online last Summer at a Clearance Auction House called www.nearlyfreecheaprubberitems thatarenicetohavearoundthehouseincasecompanycomes.com.

Got a huge assortment! Some of them were collector's items! Had a few hundred Presidential Condoms with George Bush's face right on the working end of them. His nose was like the extendor tip! They were very popular even among Democrats!

:columb::eatbug::Hello kitty::mypet::piggy::tantrum::D: :thumbsupwink::communication:

So anyways, you can wear any clothing that you're comfortable in. Loose, preferably. I always like to get started in an Oakland Raider's warm up jacket and some Fruit of the Looms. Funny name, "fruit of the looms"....wonder how they came up with that one? I mean was there like a big loom factory somewhere and they just decided to start producing underpants and one of the guys yelled, "Hey Frank, what should we call these shorts anyway we're making?" And Frank yells back, "Huh? I don't care! Call em anything you want! Call em banana shorts! Or Apple shorts! Or kiwi shorts!" And one of the guys yells back to Frank, "Okay Frank...how about if we just call 'em Fruit shorts? Maybe Fruit of the Loom, huh? And Frank yells back, "yeah...whatever!"

So anyway Ms BFF...I'll be looking forward to putting your cute name in my Google Calender. Don't forget to bring lotsa breath mints!

You can rewire my chakras?
Cool!

[BlueFireFairy]

Actually I have been known to blow the fuses in the house...lol I have been know to have some intense energy.

Of course, I can, Ms. BlueFireFairy! What seems to be the problem? Getting a few shorts here and there? Power outages? Toaster going on and off?

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