Click Banner For More Info See All Sponsors

  • Share this thread on:
  • Follow: No Email   
  • Thread Tools
  1. TopTop #61
    Imagery's Avatar
    Imagery
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Quote zeninfinity wrote: View Post
    ...All I can say is that 3 boys who have committed 4 sexual assaults on 3 different girls will be walking the streets amongst all the children of Brook Haven School tomorrow. Unless these boys have been miraculously healed and rehabilitated. I do not see it being a rational decision for the school to allow all the innocent, unsuspecting children to be exposed to these boys who exhibit troubling and dysfunctional behavior. It's an incident waiting to happen.
    I'm pretty certain that the school officials are aware of this thread, and in this particular community, are aware how litigious they can be. I highly doubt if I were in their position that I'd meet with you without my own pit viper in attendance to help defend me from an almost certain lawsuit.

    I also quoted your last paragraph as you wrote it in such a way as to leave the impression that you are NOT in the right frame of mind to consider restorative justice.
    Last edited by Barry; 01-09-2018 at 02:20 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  2. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  3. TopTop #62
    zeninfinity
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Quote Imagery wrote: View Post
    I'm pretty certain that the school officials are aware of this thread, and in this particular community, are aware how litigious they can be. I highly doubt if I were in their position that I'd meet with you without my own pit viper in attendance to help defend me from an almost certain lawsuit.

    I also quoted your last paragraph as you wrote it in such a way as to leave the impression that you are NOT in the right frame of mind to consider restorative justice.
    I'm totally ok with them having an attorney. It's just that I wasn't told one would be present. I was ambushed. It spoke loudly of their frame of mind.

    When this all began I had absolutely no intention of filing a lawsuit. I just wanted some quick justice. Transfer the perpetrators to another school and create a safe place for the girls of Brook Haven to come out and speak their minds. Pretty darn simple.

    For those of you who feel the boys are being punished by having to go to another school. I will agree, that is one perspective. I look at it as the gentlemanly/civil thing to do. The boys (or their parents) should excuse themselves from the situation they have created. Thier inappropriate actions have caused damage, pain, and suffering to their peers. The girls were mistreated by these boys and need space to heal. Having to see the boys get no real punishment and also having to be in class with them every day is like a form of slow psychological torture. The long-term psychological damage on these girls can be devastating and life-altering.

    It's not passing the buck either. The boys will have a fresh new start, at a new school. A new setting can create the space for the boys to possibly take on a new, more responsible persona. Keeping them at Brook Haven can actually impede progress as they will still be in the environment in which this dysfunctional behavior developed. So a fresh start in a new environment could be a perfect way for them to transition into a healthier way of being. Leaving them in the same environment and asking them to change, imho, will be harder. Of course, the new school would require them to be in counseling on a regular basis and other safety precautions could be made. Or they could be homeschooled. Or they can take classes online.

    Also, it's about the message we give our kids. Case and point. At Rincon Valley Middle School, a boy jumped on another boy's back. They are best friends. The boy who jumped on the boys back was immediately brought to the office. Parents called, taken out of school and suspended for 3 days. Within hours!

    At Brook Haven you grope someone and they will take away your recess, won't allow you to hang on campus after school, you will have to sit in front of the class and you sign a non-binding piece of paper that says you won't be a bad boy again.

    I assure you if Brook Haven actually stood up to bullies and sexual assailants and took immediate action like RVMS. It would send a crystal clear message to the student body. 1) The school will protect you from any wrongdoing 2) Do something wrong, swift and immediate action will be taken to excuse you from the situation.

    I love the concept of restorative justice. And like I have said earlier; if it was offered to me at my first meeting I would have probably gone for it. I am totally into transcending this situation. But no, this is not a group of people I feel safe with. They have proven it time and time again.

    Due to the school's lack of response, I might be forced to protect my daughter myself. We are considering filing a police report and getting a restraining order. I really don't want to do this to the boy who attacked her. It is indeed not in his best interest. But I have to protect my daughter. If the school won't excuse him from the situation, then we will. So from this perspective, the school has done the boys a huge disservice.

    To me the school's stance is absolutely bizarre.

    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  4. Gratitude expressed by 4 members:

  5. TopTop #63
    zeninfinity
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Please watch the video of Oprah at the bottom of the page. The articles I've posted are on point as well. Please read.

    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  6. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  7. TopTop #64
    b.w. rose
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  8. TopTop #65
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    FOOD for THOUGHT: (from Facebook)

    From Jackson Katz: "I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other. Then I ask just the men: "What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?"

    At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they've been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, 'I stay out of prison.' This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, 'Nothing. I don't think about it.'

    Then I ask women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine.

    Here are some of their answers:

    • Hold my keys as a potential weapon.
    • Look in the back seat of the car before getting in.
    • Carry a cell phone.
    • Don't go jogging at night.
    • Lock all windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights.
    • Be careful not to drink too much.
    • Don't put my drink down and come back to it
    • Make sure I see my drink being poured.
    • Own a big dog.
    • Carry Mace or pepper spray.
    • Have an unlisted phone number.
    • Have a man's voice on my answering machine.
    • Park in well-lit areas.
    • Don't use parking garages.
    • Don't get on elevators with only one man.
    • Don't get on elevators with a group of men.
    • Vary my route home from work.
    • Watch what I wear.
    • Don't use highway rest areas.
    • Use a home alarm system.
    • Don't wear headphones when jogging.
    • Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime.
    • Don't take a first-floor apartment.
    • Go out in groups.
    • Own a firearm.
    • Meet men on first dates in public places.
    • Make sure to have a car or cab fare.
    • Don't make eye contact with men on the street.
    • Make assertive eye contact with men on the street...."
    • etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

    ― Jackson Katz
    From The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women
    and How All Men Can Help

    Jackson Katz is an American educator, filmmaker, and author. He has created a gender violence prevention and education program entitled Mentors in Violence Prevention, which is used by U.S. military and various sporting organizations.
    Copied and pasted and you can too.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  9. Gratitude expressed by 7 members:

  10. TopTop #66
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Would you post a copy of the email message about the Parent Education meeting on Jan 23rd? I'm curious about the wording. I also wonder about parents who aren't on the email list? I have a friend who rarely reads messages from the school, but checks the online school calendar.

    Quote zeninfinity wrote: View Post
    ...I posted the message sent by the school on Friday 1/5/18....
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  11. TopTop #67
    zeninfinity
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Quote Shandi wrote: View Post
    Would you post a copy of the email message about the Parent Education meeting on Jan 23rd? I'm curious about the wording. I also wonder about parents who aren't on the email list? I have a friend who rarely reads messages from the school, but checks the online school calendar.
    Today is Walk/Roll Day. They are actually encouraging kids to walk to school. Deny, deny, deny.

    Sebastopol Union School District

    Linda Irving, Superintendent
    7611 Huntley Street, Sebastopol, California 95472
    Phone: (707) 829-4570 Fax: (707) 829-7427
    www.sebastopolschools.org January 5, 2018
    ____________________________________________________

    An open letter to the Sebastopol education community:

    Response to Sexual Harassment Allegations at Brook Haven School

    [ This letter was previously posted here - Barry]
    Last edited by Barry; 01-11-2018 at 10:42 AM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  12. TopTop #68
    rebecka
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    First of all, I am so sorry you and your child have experienced this. I too have a child at BH and although I am not surprised by how this has been dealt with by the district, I am still quite shocked. I have seen over and over again how the district handles bullying but this is taking things to a whole new level. This is unacceptable, from beginning to end and things have to change.
    Last edited by rebecka; 01-10-2018 at 04:30 PM. Reason: spelling
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  13. Gratitude expressed by 4 members:

  14. TopTop #69
    zeninfinity
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    This is for the teachers of the Sebastopol Union School District.

    https://www.whistleblowers.gov/know_your_rights
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  15. Gratitude expressed by:

  16. TopTop #70
    Fortunecookie
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Where are the parents of these juvenile boys? I've heard little on this post about these kids parents and their involvement/responsibilties. Shouldn't they be brought in to help and have some accountabilty with all this??? Maybe make the parents walk with their sons to and from school each day .Just a suggestion.This could be a good start.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  17. Gratitude expressed by 5 members:

  18. TopTop #71

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    I don't understand why you haven't contacted the parents of these boys. It sounds like you know who they are. I'm not sure if you are trying to say that the boys learned this behavior at school or that the school is responsible for the actions of all of their pupils. It's obvious something needs to be done.
    By not going to the source you are trying to shift the burden to another school since the boys don't get any feedback from home, their actions will continue all the way into Analy and if your daughter is going there, she can expect a much rougher ride.
    I would sue their parents and the school, that will send a message that you hold both parties responsible for not doing anything about the situation.
    And for your daughter's sake, Jesus take her out of school until this is resolved instead of waiting till it gets worse!
    Last edited by Barry; 01-11-2018 at 10:43 AM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  19. Gratitude expressed by:

  20. TopTop #72
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    I'm still wondering about the email message about the "Parent Education meeting on January 23rd" to parents/guardians on the email list. Please share a copy with us.

    All communication needs to be tracked, so it's not just hearsay. That's the importance of creating a paper trail of parent/guardian requests/demands for a "responsible, accountable" communication from the school, about specific written policy, and what's actually been done in these cases.

    This Walk/Roll Day has been in effect for awhile, and I'm sure that their awareness doesn't extend to it making kids more vulnerable to bullying/attacks. But many of us can see that it does.

    Quote zeninfinity wrote: View Post
    Today is Walk/Roll Day. They are actually encouraging kids to walk to school. Deny, deny, deny.
    ...
    Response to Sexual Harassment Allegations at Brook Haven School

    [ This letter was previously posted here - Barry]
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  21. TopTop #73
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    The parents would have to be hiding under a rock not to know what's happening. It's all speculation at this point, but they may have been advised by the school's attorney not to get involved by communicating with the victims parents. That makes sense to me, as something a defendant's attorney would do.

    Not all parents are "helpful" in these situations, especially when the behavior reflects on them in a negative way. Are the parents "Trump supporters"? Trump personifies the example of "pussy grabbing" as desirable. Remember, these are just speculations on my part.

    No one can force a parent to walk their kids to and from school, since it may negatively impact their work life, but maybe the boys could be made to use a transportation system, but that would have to come from a higher authority than the school.

    The positive side of this is that the community is more aware, the girls are more aware of their rights, and the boys are more aware that their behavior has had some serious and undesirable consequences. This behavior is not going to be brushed under the rug. It's showdown time! I'm glad to see the community stepping up to support these girls and their parents.

    Quote Fortunecookie wrote: View Post
    Where are the parents of these juvenile boys?...
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  22. Gratitude expressed by 2 members:

  23. TopTop #74
    suzanne108's Avatar
    suzanne108
    Supporting member

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    What time is the meeting on the 23rd?
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  24. Gratitude expressed by:

  25. TopTop #75
    Imagery's Avatar
    Imagery
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Just curious if you read what you wrote, or are you unable to click to follow a link to another waccobb thread where the letter is posted in its entirety?

    Quote Shandi wrote: View Post
    I'm still wondering about the email message about the "Parent Education meeting on January 23rd" to parents/guardians on the email list. Please share a copy with us.

    All communication needs to be tracked, so it's not just heresay. That's the importance of creating a paper trail of parent/guardian requests/demands for a "responsible, accountable" communication from the school, about specific written policy, and what's actually been done in these cases.

    This Walk/Roll Day has been in effect for awhile, and I'm sure that their awareness doesn't extend to it making kids more vulnerable to bullying/attacks. But many of us can see that it does.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  26. TopTop #76
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    The only letter I saw posted was a "response", not a copy of an email sent to parents regarding the "Parent Education Meeting on Jan 23rd". I've read through all posts, and haven't found it. Can you direct me to it with a link? Thanks!

    Someone else has posted asking what time it is.

    Quote Imagery wrote: View Post
    Just curious if you read what you wrote, or are you unable to click to follow a link to another waccobb thread where the letter is posted in its entirety?
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  27. TopTop #77
    viajera
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    The Brookhaven school website posts the Parent Education Meeting:Parent Education Meeting

    Date: 1/23/2018
    Time: 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM
    Location: Brook Haven Library
    Quote Shandi wrote: View Post
    The only letter I saw posted was a "response", not a copy of an email sent to parents regarding the "Parent Education Meeting on Jan 23rd". I've read through all posts, and haven't found it. Can you direct me to it with a link? Thanks!
    Last edited by Barry; 01-14-2018 at 08:57 AM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  28. Gratitude expressed by:

  29. TopTop #78
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Seems like a "bland" title considering the seriousness of the education that needs to be done. It's a good thing Wacco members know what's up.


    Quote viajera wrote: View Post
    The Brookhaven school website posts the Parent Education Meeting:Parent Education Meeting

    Date: 1/23/2018
    Time: 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM
    Location: Brook Haven Library
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  30. Gratitude expressed by:

  31. TopTop #79
    Barry's Avatar
    Barry
    Founder & Moderator

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Just a heads up to those following this thread that a new thread entitled '"Epidemic" of sexual harassment at a local school?' has been started, that calls the premise of this thread into question.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  32. Gratitude expressed by:

  33. TopTop #80
    thatonetodd
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    From what I can gather after reading all of the posts on two threads (!) on the topic of harassment in our local schools I have some outside observations:
    1. This girl was touched inappropriately and felt she could not come forward - to the school OR her parents. That is a huge negative for BOTH parties.
    2. The school held a Socratic Seminar - providing information, giving the students a voice, and provided them an avenue to report. VERY good. All schools should be so proactive.
    3. This girl came forward first to her parent - good! She is speaking out about things that make her uncomfortable! But only after this seminar did she and her parents speak to the school, making them the last informed. Correct me if I am wrong, but actions can not be taken with zero information.
    4. The school district then took corrective action. And because we are not party to the situation, we don’t know the full details of it, nor should we. These are children. Middle school is a very confusing time for everyone whilst they are going through it, and the best any of us can do is be an advocate for these kids so they come out as decent adults.
    5. I called Brook Haven. They have a restorative discipline model, they use punishments like suspension when necessary. They seem open and willing to talk.
    6. While I do not know what has happened in the past at BHS, I do know the climate for sexual violence has changed in our society. It does seem like the Sebastopol School District is on the front lines of empowerment, education, and providing our students a voice. Other school districts - in our area - are still functioning along the lines of a “boys will be boys” mentality, and refusing to give their female students any voice at all.
    7. Zeninfinity - by choosing to attack this district and school, which you seem to know little about - especially their policies, procedures, FERPA, confidentiality, and staff - makes it seem like you have a lot of misplaced anger. I get that what happened to your daughter is TERRIBLE. It shouldn’t happen to anyone - ever. But your actions seem to have elevated this incident - where you are not shaming the needed parties - but shaming your daughter. Have you considered that by reacting in such an overtly negative way, your daughter will feel like she can not come to you in the future? (Just a thought - I am a total outsider here.)
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  34. Gratitude expressed by 5 members:

  35. TopTop #81
    Stargazer's Avatar
    Stargazer
    Supporting member

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Social media is like playing telephone when I was a child. The message starts out a certain way. By the time it gets to the last person, it is completely different. When one is seeking support of the community as well as attempting to raise awareness, it is unfortunate that there are those people who judge and attack the victim. Siding with the perpetrators and making the victim wrong is unempowering and defeats the purpose of justice and taking responsibility. Criminals need to have consequences for their harmful behavior or their actions will continue and escalate onto others.
    Violence, abuse and trespassing upon another individual is wrong, sexual or otherwise.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  36. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  37. TopTop #82

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Hmmmmmmmm,
    Todd why do I get the impression that you are NOT a total outsider here.
    Is it because you just signed up a few days before you posted or is it because you only put the blame on the parent? You seem to have a lot of knowledge about the inner workings of the school while accusing the parent to have none. Did you get that info from the one phone call you made? Did you contact the parent too and get his side of the story? Why don't you give full disclosure about your relationship with the school, district, teachers and/or the parents of the errant boys. I think that would be fair.

    Quote thatonetodd wrote: View Post
    From what I can gather after reading all of the posts on two threads (!) on the topic of harassment in our local schools I have some outside observations:
    1. ...
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  38. Gratitude expressed by 4 members:

  39. TopTop #83
    Imagery's Avatar
    Imagery
     

    Re: Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

    Per dictionary.com:

    Epidemic: adj. extremely prevalent; widespread

    Can someone with more time and the inclination cite how many reported cases there are in the last 5 years, how many children have attended the school in the last 5 years, and what the percentage is of children harassed in this school? I'm certain that several of you will cite unimaginable numbers of unreported cases, but how about we deal with facts instead of hyperbole?
    While I agree that 0.00/∞ students is the only truly acceptable number of sexual assaults, unfortunately in reality, people choose NOT to respect others, choose NOT to obey the rule of law, and choose to do whatever they think they can get away with. From time to time, the criminals (these are not toddlers, therefore are criminals) should be held accountable for their actions.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  40. Gratitude expressed by:

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-28-2017, 09:22 AM
  2. Carol Tavris on claims of child sexual abuse
    By Dixon in forum WaccoReader
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-26-2014, 04:01 AM
  3. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-20-2010, 07:49 PM
  4. Once upon a time at Shadow Brook, Capitola
    By Dram in forum General Community
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-28-2009, 01:11 AM
  5. Latino sexual abuse help, please
    By santarosa42 in forum General Community
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-21-2006, 09:08 AM

Tags (user supplied keywords) for this Thread

Bookmarks