Click Banner For More Info See All Sponsors

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!

This site is now closed permanently to new posts.
We recommend you use the new Townsy Cafe!

Click anywhere but the link to dismiss overlay!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 56

  • Share this thread on:
  • Follow: No Email   
  • Thread Tools
  1. TopTop #1
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office investigates double homicide.

    On November 23, 2015 at approximately 9:28 AM, the Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office responded to a report of a double homicide. A man called our dispatch center stating that he thought his nephew had just killed his brother and sister-in-law at a residence on Sexton Road, in the area known as Twin Hills outside of Sebastopol, in the unincorporated region of Sonoma County. The man had seen the couple on the floor inside the house covered with blood, as well as his nephew covered in blood.

    Patrol Deputies went to the house at 1220 Sexton Road. They had paramedics respond as well. The California Highway Patrol provided support from above with their helicopter, H30.

    The Deputies found two people, a man and a woman, unresponsive inside the home. The pair suffered multiple wounds from a sharp object. They were both declared dead at the scene. A possible weapon was found within the house.

    Detectives from the Violent Crimes Investigations unit responded and assumed control of the case. The CSI Detective team and Detectives from other investigations units also assisted.

    The suspect was identified as Nathan Alexander Wilson, a 34 year old male, who lived on the property with his parents. Nathan was last seen near a shed on the property, but had left likely driving his black Toyota truck. Deputies and other law enforcement agencies were alerted to Be On The Lookout for him and his truck. They went to the addresses of family members and friends in case Nathan was headed to their homes. Deputies also checked locations where he was known to frequent. He was known to carry knives and was very strong.

    The deceased are identified as David and Adrienne Wilson, husband a wife, and parents of the suspect.

    UPDATE
    Advisory: Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office searching for murder suspect.

    The Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office is asking the public’s help in locating a man suspected in the murder of two people in the in the area known as Twin Hills outside of Sebastopol, in the unincorporated region of Sonoma County.

    Detectives from our Violent Crimes Investigations unit are releasing a photograph of the prime suspect, Nathan Alexander Wilson. Wilson is a 34 year old, white male adult. He is 6’01” tall, described as having a thin build, dark blonde (almost brown) hair, and green eyes. He was last seen wearing green pants and an unknown colored shirt.

    Wilson is likely driving a black 2006 Toyota 4WD truck, California License plate of 8S95610. It has a regular cab, short bed and after-market tires.

    We have alerted law enforcement agencies throughout the region.

    If a member of the public sees Wilson or his truck – DO NOT APPROACH - but please immediately call 911, the Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office dispatch center at 707-565-2121 or your local law enforcement agency.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  2. TopTop #2
    csell
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Dave and Adrianne have been my dear friends for 35 years. I played at their wedding and joked with them about the naming of all three of their children. I'm devastated and in shock.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Shandi: View Post
    ...The deceased are identified as David and Adrienne Wilson, husband a wife, and parents of the suspect...
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  3. TopTop #3
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    I'm very sorry that this brings shock and sadness to you, as it must to many. I'm hoping that this man is caught. We had a murder in Rohnert Park last week, and the suspect was caught soon after.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by csell: View Post
    Dave and Adrianne have been my dear friends for 35 years. I played at their wedding and joked with them about the naming of all three of their children. I'm devastated and in shock.
    Last edited by Bella Stolz; 11-24-2015 at 12:12 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  4. TopTop #4
    Icssoma's Avatar
    Icssoma
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    the suspect was taken into custody yesterday.
    two points are important.
    the family had struggled with mental health issues with their son, or as those who want social change say, brain chemistry imbalances.
    the majority of all murder victims are killed by people they know.
    this is not "typical" domestic violence, think oj simpson for common elements [husband/wife, history of battering, jekyl/hyde personality, control/isolation (at least for the d.v.), usually escalating when a woman leaves the situation.]
    important to note, the son lived at home/ on the property.
    as a mom who struggles with good options for children/adult children, i wish i had known this mom.
    resources are most difficult to come by. answers are few.
    as i speak up, i find more people with family members who have a child/adult child/relative with a severe brain chemistry imbalance.
    hope there will be less stigma for people who are born with brain chemical imbalances. perhaps with talking we might in my lifetime have some good options for people with brain chemistry imbalances.
    as i read the article in the pd, i thought how the uncle, brother of the father, was shocked that this was a possibility.
    https://www.pressdemocrat.com/news/4...allery=4810387
    so many people on all sides of this issue need supportive communities to address the pain. for many "places to go" provide support,find hope. there are few.
    on another note my partner said we the only local timely news is on the internet. (lst read about this in "nextdoor".) sad that neither of our local major radio stations that had reporting no longer radio cover local news.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  5. Gratitude expressed by 4 members:

  6. TopTop #5
    csell
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    To set the record straight, I will share some insights with you. They moved to Forestville from Hayward 15+ years ago to have good schools available to their children. All of the kids have had "mental health" issues, despite the fact that they evolved from a tremendously loving, supportive family and extended family. I'm only going to mention this because of your desire to have good options for your own children: these three were raised in the most permissive of all environments, having opportunity to experiment with alcohol, drugs and sex before they were even 10. [IMHO, children need guidance and boundaries and rules.] I personally know a great deal about mental health issues and we could debate the nature/nurture issue to the end of time. Just know this--Nathan was not a nonfunctional adult "living at home." He was a smart, successful plumber and carpenter with amazing skills and talents who chose a lot of bad paths to follow. One of the greatest tragedies is that at age 34, he has now chosen to throw away the rest of his life.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Icssoma: View Post
    ...the family had struggled with mental health issues with their son, or as those who want social change say, brain chemistry imbalances...
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  7. TopTop #6
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Something is amiss about this. Here we have parents who want their children in good schools, yet raise them in a very permissive environment, which allowed experimentation with alcohol, drugs, and sex before they were 10. They could have done that in Hayward. Good schools don't make up for the devastating effects of early childhood permissiveness with substances you mentioned, which could be mentally and socially unbalancing.

    Also, I wonder why this smart, successful plumber and carpenter was living at home. Maybe it was because of some of these unwise (not smart) choices he made? Was he a functional adult with "mental health issues" living at home, with loving parents? Something seems incongruent about the parent's choices also.

    He didn't make a conscious choice to "throw his life away". I would tend to believe that he had suppressed rage against his loving, permissive parents, which caused his irrational impulse to kill them. When I look at his picture, I see an angry man, and one I'd keep my distance from if I met him.


    Quote Posted in reply to the post by csell: View Post
    To set the record straight, I will share some insights with you...
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  8. Gratitude expressed by:

  9. TopTop #7
    ObiwanKanabis
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Shandi: View Post
    ...When I look at his picture, I see an angry man, and one I'd keep my distance from if I met him.
    The picture you see is a mug shot from a previous offense. In real life he did not appear that way. My wife, being a friend of their family, has hired him many times to work on our house. He never appeared threatening ever.

    We hadn't seen him in 2.5 years and maybe he made bad choices since then but please do not judge this man by his picture. It does not reflect the person we knew.

    We will miss our friends David and Adrianne so much. We wouldn't have moved up here to Sonoma County if not for them. They steered us to good things while we found our way around.

    Rest in Peace David and Adrianne. We still love you even if you have left us.
    Last edited by Bella Stolz; 11-25-2015 at 12:41 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  10. Gratitude expressed by 6 members:

  11. TopTop #8
    santoshimatajaya's Avatar
    santoshimatajaya
    Supporting Member

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    yes, someone who came to the point that he did needs attention for the deep disturbances he suffers. what one does to another, one does to oneself. which means he is a danger to himself as well as to others. Life long intensity and tremendous pain and confusion and violence. Point is, care rather than punishment, meaning attention to mental / emotional illness~
    Last edited by Bella Stolz; 11-25-2015 at 12:41 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  12. Gratitude expressed by 2 members:

  13. TopTop #9
    gypsey's Avatar
    gypsey
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Care rather than punishment is a fantasy. The imprisonment of the mentally ill is a national disgrace. However, the alternatives are not easy. Assuming that "voices" told this man to kill his parents, how can we protect ourselves if "care" doesn't work? It's a complex problem: let's face it/

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by santoshimatajaya: View Post
    yes, someone who came to the point that he did needs attention for the deep disturbances he suffers. what one does to another, one does to oneself. which means he is a danger to himself as well as to others. Life long intensity and tremendous pain and confusion and violence. Point is, care rather than punishment, meaning attention to mental / emotional illness~
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  14. Gratitude expressed by:

  15. TopTop #10
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    I agree. I also believe that anyone who uses violence in words or actions is extremely out of balance. Whether this is from early environment (lack of nurture) or inherited (nature) or drug induced, (chemical) innocent people become targets and are harmed or killed. Our laws seek punishment through incarceration in order to protect those who are a danger to themselves or others. But in these jails and prisons, they become the targets of more violence, from guards and authorities who are themselves out of balance. The difference is that they've been able to land a job where their violence and killing is sanctioned.

    Many times, these tendencies can be seen in childhood. Any child who tortures an animal will more than likely do the same to another child, and eventually grow up to be an abusing adult. Sometimes these children learn from their parents who are their first role models, and then continue the pattern with their own children.

    My own brother showed extreme anger when he was just an infant. He was born into a violent bipolar family, and was later also diagnosed. He was jailed and institutionalized several times. He joined the army, but after about a year was discharged due to violence and disobedience. He was unable to hold a job, though he was a mental genius.

    I banned him from visiting my young children because I was afraid for them, and the effect of his influence. He met one of my sons on the sly, and gave him LSD at 12. I didn't find out until much later when my son told me.

    During the time Nixon was president, he publicly threatened to kill him. The FBI arrived at my door only a few days later to investigate this possibility. They wanted to know if he had guns. I didn't know for sure, but didn't think so, mainly because he didn't have much money.

    He was a tortured soul, and refused to take medication unless he was forced to. He said it made him feel like a vegetable. He ended his life at 39 with a gun to his head.

    The inherited signs of imbalance were there from the beginning, and thrived in a violent environment. He turned to LSD to find meaning in his life. I don't know if he ever did, even for a brief time.



    Quote Posted in reply to the post by gypsey: View Post
    Care rather than punishment is a fantasy. The imprisonment of the mentally ill is a national disgrace. However, the alternatives are not easy. Assuming that "voices" told this man to kill his parents, how can we protect ourselves if "care" doesn't work? It's a complex problem: let's face it/
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  16. Gratitude expressed by:

  17. TopTop #11
    hezsez's Avatar
    hezsez
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23


    This happened across the street from me. I did not know the family. I want to thank Sonoma County Sheriff's dept for handling the case well. I almost slept in the office that night, but found out that we were safe and was just exhausted emotionally. My heart goes out to the friends, family and loved ones of the deceased and their son.

    There is no easy way to cope with this issue, or with the stigma that goes with it. If each one of us took a few hours of our life to learn about mental illness, the literacy surrounding it would improve lives. I wish you all a wonderful holiday season and as we search our hearts for answers I hope each of us who is effected can move through the shock, grief and into deeper understanding.

    There are so many talented healers in our community and I recommend self care and spiritual practices in all instances to restore balance. Here is the awareness website. Many blessings. https://www.nami.org/miaw. Love to Barry and linda this Holiday seaon for hosting this wonderful forum.

    Last edited by Barry; 11-28-2015 at 02:51 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  18. Gratitude expressed by 8 members:

  19. TopTop #12
    beshiva's Avatar
    beshiva
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    wow, i'm a bit shocked by the supposed input regarding parenting, mental illness, family dynamics, and presumptions/assumptions about how this couple parented for better or worse, etc. etc. ? Tread softly, ey
    Families are really, really complex and as a parent of six grown children myself, all i can say, "it is not a walk in the park"!

    what works today, might not tomorrow. As parents, we try to bring our children through consciously and lovingly, we just "know", these are gonna be the best kids ever, and we are gonna be the best parents ever!

    And time goes by, and we ask ourselves many questions, we doubt ourselves, we become insufferable when things are going so perfectly, we think "how easy it is to raise children" and "we got it Down"!...and then, the next day, we fall on our faces and wonder what the heck happened?

    I'm just saying, we don't know the dance of family, every one is different, and sometimes so Painfully Different!
    There for the Grace of God!

    peace
    beshiva
    Last edited by Barry; 11-28-2015 at 02:52 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  20. Gratitude expressed by 7 members:

  21. TopTop #13
    beshiva's Avatar
    beshiva
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    and, i want to add, it always pains me, when something so tragic happens in a neighborhood, and when neighbors are asked questions, so many say, "i didn't know them", or they "seemed nice" or "who would have known". ?
    it speaks volumes to how little we know these days about much, our neighbors, our children, our communities, but how often people speak about the Kardashians, or movies, or deals that are coming up.
    just makes me a bit sad how far removed we really are from one another, yet live so close.
    peace
    beshiva

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by hezsez: View Post
    ...This happened across the street from me. I did not know the family. ...
    Last edited by Barry; 11-28-2015 at 02:53 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  22. Gratitude expressed by 5 members:

  23. TopTop #14
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    When things like murder, suicide, child abuse, rape, or any number of undesirable and shocking activities happen in a community, there will naturally be shock, reactions, questions, assumptions, including fear, especially if the perpetrator is still around.

    My response came from reading what were facts about the extremely permissive parenting, which allowed experimentation with drugs and sex at an early age. I haven't seen any response that indicated that could not have been an influence. This is not to condemn the parents; it's an observed factor that most people would recognize as undesirable. I'd welcome comments that would indicate otherwise.

    Parents are people, and they can only be where they're at. It's not about blame. It's about connecting the dots of the factors involved, and coming to some well understood and documented conclusions.

    If you let a young child out alone, or even leave that child alone in a house, what are the chances that something undesirable will happen? Why? Because children aren't developed enough to avoid harmful things, even if you tell them. I remember telling a 3 yr. old not to touch a hot iron. He immediately touched it, and suffered a burn.

    Being a parent is a heavy responsibility that many aren't really equipped for, but can't be reversed. If a parent is ill, physically or mentally, the children will be at the effect of that. How can they not? Some can overcome this early disadvantage, but others cannot. Some parents can also overcome their own destructive patterns carried forward from their ancestry.

    If those effects create a person who follows an inner voice to do violence, that person must be stopped for the sake of others in the community. How they are stopped in our culture, leaves a lot to be desired. Every culture has a way to protect the community from further harm, sometimes permanently. This too is a complex issue.

    Those who are involved directly, respond in various ways that differ from those of us who are only peripherally affected. It's all part of the complex human response, depending on where we are in our hearts and minds coming from our own life experience. As I mentioned previously, I banned my own bi-polar brother from coming to my home, as a way to protect my own young children. Many may see this act as cruel, heartless and uncaring, but I was acting like any mother bear would, when danger was apparent. I defended my offspring with a vengeance. I knew that I could even resort to violence if necessary to protect them from physical or emotional harm.

    People talk about God's grace. "If not for the grace of God...." I cannot accept that a God would grace some, and not others. Is all our experience coming from the "grace of "or lack of, apart from our own decisions? Does anyone believe their lives are ruled by luck? This is another topic for another thread....


    Quote Posted in reply to the post by beshiva: View Post
    wow, i'm a bit shocked by the supposed input regarding parenting, mental illness, family dynamics, and presumptions/assumptions about how this couple parented for better or worse, etc. etc. ? Tread softly, ey....
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  24. Gratitude expressed by 5 members:

  25. TopTop #15
    gypsey's Avatar
    gypsey
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    I just want to add to Shandi's post that I too was surprised and concerned that someone stating they knew the family posted that the children were exposed to sex and drugs etc before the age of ten. To me this is not permissive parenting or allowing a child to "experiment"---it is child abuse of a very severe kind.
    On the other hand, I didn't know these people or whether the poster of this info was being accurate.

    Let's cut Shandi some slack here. She stated some very relevant facts about what it is like to deal with mental illness and what some of the issues are for families.

    That said, let's hope that as a tribute to David and Adrienne and other victims (including their son) that we neither blame or make excuses, but make an effort to learn from this tragedy.
    & Thanks to the poster who recommended NAMI as an excellent resource.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Shandi: View Post
    ...My response came from reading what were facts about the extremely permissive parenting, ...
    Last edited by Barry; 11-29-2015 at 03:06 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  26. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  27. TopTop #16
    Sara S's Avatar
    Sara S
    Auntie Wacco

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Communities of Character
    NOV. 27, 2015
    David Brooks-The New York Times

    We live in an individualistic age. As Marc J. Dunkelman documents in his book “The Vanishing Neighbor,” people tend to have their close group of inner-ring family and friends and then a vast online outer-ring network of contacts, but they are less likely to be involved in middle-ring community organizations.
    But occasionally I stumble across a loving, charismatic and super-tight neighborhood organization. Very often it’s a really good school.

    Continues here

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by beshiva: View Post
    and, i want to add, it always pains me, when something so tragic happens in a neighborhood, and when neighbors are asked questions, so many say, "i didn't know them", or they "seemed nice" or "who would have known". ?
    it speaks volumes to how little we know these days about much, our neighbors, our children, our communities,...
    Last edited by Barry; 11-29-2015 at 03:11 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  28. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  29. TopTop #17
    Claire's Avatar
    Claire
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Shandi: View Post
    My response came from reading what were facts about the extremely permissive parenting, which allowed experimentation with drugs and sex at an early age.
    These are not facts, this is hear say.
    Last edited by Bella Stolz; 12-01-2015 at 12:27 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  30. Gratitude expressed by 2 members:

  31. TopTop #18
    heresbruce's Avatar
    heresbruce
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Claire, thank you... I have continued to be appalled by the tenet of this conversation by folks I would otherwise have thought to be informed, compassionate and progressive. Gossip, hearsay, and uninformed opinions are all fine and dandy, saying more about the speaker than the situation. So to that end, this has been eye opening but also reflects the small minded, fearful and frequently petty minded people comfortably ensconced in this west county haven that has a charade of posing at being what it most obviously is not... remembering this: No artist tolerates reality. -Neitzsche
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAqAmLSIGU8
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  32. Gratitude expressed by 2 members:

  33. TopTop #19
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Recent posts indicate that your comments are "hearsay" (these three were raised in the most permissive of all environments, having opportunity to experiment with alcohol, drugs and sex before they were even 10). Can you speak to your knowledge of this, "to set the record straight"?

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by csell: View Post
    To set the record straight, I will share some insights with you...
    Last edited by Bella Stolz; 12-01-2015 at 12:29 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  34. Gratitude expressed by:

  35. TopTop #20
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    It seems that a few people knew this family, so let them speak about this, and confirm what's true, and not hearsay. Claire, do you know the truth? Please share it, rather than imply that it's hearsay. The family and our community needs that.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Claire: View Post
    These are not facts, this is hear say.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  36. Gratitude expressed by 2 members:

  37. TopTop #21
    rachanna's Avatar
    rachanna
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    I believe what this community needs at this time is compassion and love. Additionally, we could use stronger networks of support for families that have members with serious mental illnesses in it.

    It is beyond sickening to me that anyone would choose the moments after such an incredible tragedy to scrutinize the parenting choices of the victims.

    I have never been so repulsed by a posting on Wacco.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  38. Gratitude expressed by 7 members:

  39. TopTop #22
    csell
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    I think that this conversation has gone on long enough. I said that I knew this family for 35 years and have spent many, many days of my life with them. The whole point here is that it's crazy to jump to conclusions about what happened and why. We don't need a lot of rants about the failure of mental health services in our country. This situation is very complicated and has both nature-ish and nurture-ish roots. End of story. It's a huge tragedy for anyone who knows the family.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Shandi: View Post
    Recent posts indicate that your comments are "hearsay" ...Can you speak to your knowledge of this, "to set the record straight"?
    Last edited by Bella Stolz; 12-01-2015 at 12:49 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  40. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  41. TopTop #23
    Claire's Avatar
    Claire
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Even if I "knew the truth" it would still be hearsay.

    I think it's incredibly hurtful and destructive to denigrate these murdered parents of a terribly troubled son, especially at this time. Since when is it ok to blame the victims and to bring private family issues out in this manner for the whole community to pass judgment on? How can anyone think this is appropriate?

    Yes, let's have the mental illness discussion and spread the word about the wonderful work of NAMI. Yes. let's talk about permissive parenting et al, but not now and not in this way.
    Last edited by Bella Stolz; 12-01-2015 at 12:49 PM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  42. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  43. TopTop #24
    gypsey's Avatar
    gypsey
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Thank you for clarifying your earlier post. As I posted before, I believe that we as a community should stop trading barbs and blame but rather, focus on how we can educate ourselves---as a community and individuals-- to prevent these tragedies. Where I disagree is that I believe we DO need "a lot of rants about the failure of mental health services in our country.," The problem is real.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by csell: View Post
    I think that this conversation has gone on long enough...
    Last edited by Barry; 12-02-2015 at 10:50 AM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  44. Gratitude expressed by 2 members:

  45. TopTop #25
    gypsey's Avatar
    gypsey
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Nobody that I've read here has denigrated these parents or blamed the victims. Someone who knew them stepped up to bring clarity to the narrative. That's all. Nobody is passing judgment, we are assimilating the facts. What we do with these facts is what is important.

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Claire: View Post
    ...I think it's incredibly hurtful and destructive to denigrate these murdered parents ...
    Last edited by Barry; 12-02-2015 at 10:51 AM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  46. Gratitude expressed by:

  47. TopTop #26
    beshiva's Avatar
    beshiva
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Really! ugh....
    there is less clarity today than ever..
    Assimilating facts? That's a slippery slope!
    how presumptuous that any of us need to know a damn thing..
    Quote Posted in reply to the post by gypsey: View Post
    Nobody that I've read here has denigrated these parents or blamed the victims. ...
    Last edited by Barry; 12-02-2015 at 10:51 AM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  48. Gratitude expressed by 4 members:

  49. TopTop #27
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Unfortunately it's not the " End of story", although there are many of us that wish it was.

    Just as when Andy Lopez and Travon Martin were killed, there was community outrage, and continues to be. Now we have another young black man shot down, and the end of that story is nowhere near.

    The private family details of parental permissiveness might have gone unrevealed for awhile, but for some reason that was shared immediately with the community. More shall be revealed, and unfortunately, nothing will stop it.


    Quote Posted in reply to the post by csell: View Post
    I think that this conversation has gone on long enough. ...
    Last edited by Barry; 12-02-2015 at 10:52 AM.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  50. Gratitude expressed by:

  51. TopTop #28
    Claire's Avatar
    Claire
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    Quote Posted in reply to the post by gypsey: View Post
    Nobody that I've read here has denigrated these parents or blamed the victims. ..... Nobody is passing judgment, we are assimilating the facts..
    Actually, there was blame mentioned and certainly judgment passed in previous posts. Whether they have been later edited or pulled, i don't know. Reading through them once was enough.
    Some very good people are grieving for the loss and tragedy here. I wish them peace and comfort.
    I wish it for everyone but especially for them.
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  52. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  53. TopTop #29
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    I don't think anything was deleted. It all appears to be there on my view. Do you realize that judgment is actually a part of humans survival? It's not a "BAD" thing. What's interesting to me is when people "judge" people or things (guns, drugs, money, sex, wine, etc.) as "BAD" or "GOOD". I choose to use the words "WANTED" or "UNWANTED", which actually places the responsibility for choice on me. Try using these words next time you're tempting to judge something or someone as "bad or good". See if it doesn't create a shift. Words are really important, as you've already indicated by "blaming" and "judging" those who have shared their thoughts, feelings and beliefs, with no intention of harm or blame. The harm has already been done, and those left behind will have to live with it the rest of their lives.

    If friends and neighbors truly care, they will step up to provide real consolation, in the form of what they know is needed, besides basic necessities for those survivors. Will there be a community fundraiser started by those who knew and loved this family? Please share this endeavor, so the community can help.

    I would tend to believe that those who knew the family for so many years, wouldn't divert the truth with hearsay, but it's been admitted. I want to believe those who knew the family, but knowing and loving are two different things. Sometimes if we love someone, we may cover for them. I've done it myself. Sometimes we may think we know someone by observing activities, and assume things, which get passed on to others. This is "heresay". It's a close cousin to gossip, which I have no inclination toward.


    Quote Posted in reply to the post by Claire: View Post
    Actually, there was blame mentioned and certainly judgment passed in previous posts. Whether they have been later edited or pulled, i don't know....
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  54. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

  55. TopTop #30
    Barry's Avatar
    Barry
    Founder & Moderator

    Re: Double Homicide in Sebastopol Nov 23

    I think it's time to move on from the discussion of blame, hearsay, etc...

    If anybody has anything else to add about this tragedy or its aftermath you are welcome.

    I believe a memorial is being planned. Anybody have the information about that?
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

  56. Gratitude expressed by 3 members:

Similar Threads

  1. Man's Death By Police Chokehold Ruled Homicide
    By Valley Oak in forum General Community
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-03-2014, 11:08 AM
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-08-2012, 05:14 PM
  3. Double Double and Email Trouble
    By shellebelle in forum Help Desk & Feedback
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-29-2008, 04:21 PM

Tags (user supplied keywords) for this Thread

Bookmarks